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Wednesday, January 27, 2010: a big day for America.

That’s right, yesterday we witnessed the unveiling of Apple’s latest and greatest: the iPad.

For those of you who have been in a bubble since yesterday (doing homework perhaps?) we’ll put it this way: Kindle+ gameboy +portable DVD player+ internet+ bigger and better APPS = the iPad.  (I figured the math equation would make you feel like you’re doing homework, even though you’re totally procrastinating).  Since yesterday, the iPad has gotten more press than Paris Hilton’s sex tape.  EVERYONE is talking about it.

Oh, what’s that? Something else happened yesterday?
Huh?
What?

Oh yeah! President Obama. The State of the Union Address. That happened too. After Steve Jobs’ big speech. Huh. Guess I spent so much time reading every last iPad update (and joke: “If you and your friends all buy one, will they sync up?”) I sorta forgot that was going on. Shame, too; it was Obama’s first State of the Union address and seeing that he’s been dealing with a lot lately, it was probably a pretty important thing to watch.

But who can really follow an Apple announcement? That’s like being Angelina’s sloppy seconds. We all know that we should care what Obama has to say – we’re the people who got him into office, after all – but his speech didn’t have video, or 3G or really cool apps! And it won’t help us watch movies on airplanes.

So sue me if I know every last spec about the iPad but have not the slightest clue what Obama said about healthcare reform; based on my most recent Google search, I know I’m not the only one who places fun new toys before the general well-being of this country. I mean, if anyone’s gonna save this economy it’s Steve Jobs, right?

Texts these two ladies sent to guys themselves.

Apparently, a simple “You’re cute” text is no longer enough in a relationship. Now, you gotta send nudey pics of yourself to your love interest, a trend brillantly titled, “sexting.” And the trend is catching on.

And we just don’t understand why. Have the Paris Hilton sex tape and those scandalous Miley Cyrus photos taught us nothing?! There are so many reasons Sexting is a terrible idea. Here are some of the biggies:

1. Who knows where that picture is going to end up?! You send it to someone who sends it to someone who passes it on to someone else. What if by some weird connection your DAD gets the pic? Ew.
2. Or worse…what if your boy toy isn’t the one who answered the text? We’ve all had our friends or family members grab our phones when they ring. What if that one time his dad picked it up?
3. Cameras add 10 pounds, REMEMBER?! You never look as good as you think you do…
4. On that note, isn’t it kind of hard to get the right angle on one of those things? You could end up with a double chin, or some freakish shadow that leaves your boy far from turned on when he begins to question when you grew a mustache. Unless of course you have someone else take it, which is all sorts of weird.
5. God forbid you two break up; oh the things he can do with that picture, the people he could send it to. Forget that run for President, Missy. This one is gonna be around forever.
6. What if you send it to Mom instead of Matt? Or Grandma instead of Greg?!
7. All those new high tech phones out there (iPhone, Blackberry Touch), have some pretty serious Zoom features. Imagine him using that. On your nipple.
8. He could open your pic at an inopportune time. Like when he’s at church. God is always watching…
9. …and so is the government. Think about it.
10. Nothing beats the real thing anyway. You don’t need a text message to spice things up with your boy. Try a little in-person strip tease or a hot shower. At least with those you know no one else is going to see.

Do you Sext?