There are two types of drinkers. The kind that can handle their liquor, and the kind that can’t. The kind of drunk who is the life of the party, and the kind the party wants to punch in the face. What kind of person are you? Ask yourself which of the following qualities apply to you:

Annoying drunk people…

1. Feel the need to scream, “Omigod! I’m soooo drunk!” It’s not an Olympic sport. You don’t get a medal if you blow a .20 at the end of the night.

2. Feel the need to deny their drunkenness. They fall into walls and slur “I’m totally fine!” and then reach for a bottle of Bud Lite, Jager, Windex, anything, to prove that they can handle even more.

Avoid being an annoying drunk by going with the flow and hanging out. No need to announce your current level of inxotication, or how sober you think you are.

Annoying drunk people…

3. Need to be the center of attention by screaming, dancing on tables, and giving other partygoers a general headache. “We’re going streaking!” is only funny when it’s Will Ferrell.

4. Can’t help but be the center of attention by getting over-emotional and crying. Extra annoying points when they lock themselves in bathrooms and demand consolation from their best friend for hours, thereby ruining the non-annoying best friend’s night. Read More »

Let me tell you a secret: I used to have no rhythm.

Actually, that’s not really a secret, and it’s still mostly true. I used to think I would never be able to dance, no matter how much practice I had or how precisely I counted the beats of the song in my head. One of my ex-boyfriends was actually rude enough to refuse to dance with me at any social function because I was “so awful,” as he affectionately termed it.

Then I discovered swing.

Swing dancing defied all of my stereotypes about dance. I thought you had to be lithe and limber to dance well, that you had to be able to balance sixteenth-notes in your head while tapping out the rhythm of the drums, and that more experienced dancers would never, ever deign to be partners with beginners.

Oh, how wrong I was.

Swing was all of my dreams come true. It was a dance where great, talented people with years of experience would partner in a heartbeat with first-time dancers. It was a fantastic workout, with stretching and cardio and aerobic exercise all jammed into one. It was both endlessly challenging and deceptively simple—you can learn the basic steps of East Coast Swing in less than ten minutes, but spend decades perfecting the forms. And, most of all, it was FUN. Read More »