Dear Tuffy Luv,

A few weekends ago while my roommate/best friend was passed out in her bedroom, her boyfriend and I hooked up. The boy and I had been friends freshman year, and I had feelings for him before he started dating my best friend. He and I agreed that it was never going to happen again and to not tell anyone. Two days later, when we were both drunk, it happened again. I believe he is a good person, and loves his girlfriend so I told him I wasn’t going to say anything.

2 weeks later he tried to hook up with my best friend and my other roommate. She rejected him, but told me the story. Selfishly, I don’t want to tell my best friend, but at the same time I wonder if I was wrong about him, and he is hooking up with other girls. What do I do?

– Sex With Best Friend’s Boyfriend

Dear Sex With Best Friend’s Boyfriend,

Classy.

Well, you’ve gone and done something totally unforgivable. You don’t feel bad about it at all. But now you’re trying to play the good guy and “warn” your “best friend” about her lying, cheating boyfriend.

Methinks the “lady” (HA) doth protest too much.

Giiiiiiiirl. Backstabbing is so not cute.

I might (MIGHT) have had some sympathy for you if it had happened once in a drunken fit and you had really never done it again. HOWEVER, what actually happened is, while your flooping friend was PASSED OUT, you effed her boyfriend. Not only did you not fess up, you made a pact with the guy to not tell her and then you did it again TWO DAYS LATER.

Guess what? You don’t get to play the good guy now. Oh, you feel so bad for her because she doesn’t know what’s going on. Oh, you’re such a good friend who made a little mistake and now has to make a big decision. Oh, poor your friend, it turns out the guy’s a sleaze, hadn’t you better do something about it?

FAAAAAAART.

More like: YOU feel degraded that it turns out he didn’t just find you so irresistible he HAD to cheat, but, in fact, he’s just a lying cheating sack. Tell her and come clean and expect your friendship to be over. I really don’t see how you two can come back from this. You completely betrayed her and you seem to have no remorse for it.

In fact, the only reason I say you should tell her is that I do think she should know about her sackboy. She may want to dump HIS ash too.

Good luck, jerkface.

Hearts & Skulls,
Tuffy Luv

Like a little pain? Get more Tough Love right here.

There comes a time in every young woman’s life when she looks at her roommate laying on the bathroom floor at the bar and says to herself “it’s time to take her to the hospital home.” Of course there were signs all night that it wasn’t going to end well. Such as when she went outside to boot and rally. Or when she wrestled some stranger’s phone out of his hands (she dropped hers into a pitcher of beer) so she can call her high school ex. And of course there was that moment when she was standing on top of a wobbly table singing some song that sounds like a mix between Journey and Piano Man.

Does none of this sound familiar to a night at your school? Well just check out the photos below and try to remember that if you ever see anything like that in real life, it’s time to take your friend home…and put a garbage can next to her bed.

[Click on the photos for even MORE drunkeness]

]]> http://collegecandy.com/2010/07/08/88-signs-its-time-to-leave-the-bar/feed/ 19 ccandystaff 88-signs Drunken-Girl-Shamings-7 Drunken-Girl-Shamings-2 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-7-123 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-4-90 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-5-101 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-6-112 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-8-134 Drunken-Girl-Shamings-3 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-9-145 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-10-2 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-12-24 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-16-64 Drunken-Girl-Shamings-5 Drunken-Girl-Shamings-8 Drunken-Girl-Shamings-4 Drunken-Girl-Shamings-6 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-25-74 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-24-73 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-27-76 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-28-77 Drunken-Girl-Shamings-10 Drunken-Girl-Shamings-11 Drunken-Girl-Shamings-9 Drunken-Girl-Shamings-12 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-29-78 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-30-80 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-31-81 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-32-82 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-49-100 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-50-102 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-54-106 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-68-121 Drunken-Girl-Shamings-18 Drunken-Girl-Shamings-21 Drunken-Girl-Shamings-20 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-64-117 Drunken-Girl-Shamings-22 Drunken-Girl-Shamings-23 Drunken-Girl-Shamings-24 Drunken-Girl-Shamings-25 Drunken-Girl-Shamings-27 Drunken-Girl-Shamings-26 Drunken-Girl-Shamings-28 Drunken-Girl-Shamings-29 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-97-153 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-98-154 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-99-155 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-100-3 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-95-151 Drunken-Girl-Shamings-32 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-87-142 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-103-6 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-113-17 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-114-18 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-115-19 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-116-20 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-117-21 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-118-22 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-105-8 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-149-56 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-121-26 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-122-27 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-123-28 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-124-29 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-125-30 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-126-31 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-127-32 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-128-33 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-129-34 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-130-36 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-131-37 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-132-38 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-133-39 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-134-40 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-135-41 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-136-42 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-137-43 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-138-44 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-139-45 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-140-47 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-141-48 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-142-49 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-143-50 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-144-51 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-145-52 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-146-53 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-147-54 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-148-55 http://collegecandy.com/2009/07/28/weve-all-been-there-day-drinking/ http://collegecandy.com/2009/07/28/weve-all-been-there-day-drinking/#comments Tue, 28 Jul 2009 15:00:47 +0000 Lauren - University of Michigan http://collegecandy.com/?p=36341 ]]>

"12 more hours of this? I can handle it. I'm sotally tober..."

You’ve got a big day planned: early morning breakfast, football pre-party, football game, then out on the town with your homies.  18 hours of boozing? Psssssh. It may sound like a lot, but you’ve been training for a day like this since you stepped foot on campus.

You set your alarm for 7 a.m. then run around the house screaming at your roommates to get out of bed.

“It’s party time! Get up!” You turn on all the lights, bump your iTunes and head down to the kitchen for a power breakfast. You search for the carbiest things you can find, then shove a half frozen bagel into your mouth and wash it down with some OJ, the only non-alcoholic beverage you will have for the day. You don’t have time for chewing; you have an outfit to pick out.

Once your stomach is good and coated you head back to your room to prepare for the day.
Appropriate drinking outfit? Check.
ID? Check.
Camera? Check.
Small flask that fits into your purse but can still get past campus security? Cheeeck.

You head back downstairs and begin mixing cocktails for the roommates. Slowly, they make their way to the kitchen where you are waiting for them, drinks in hand.

After everyone’s buzz has been kick-started (thanks to your force feeding), you take some much-needed selfies then head out to your pre-game of choice. Once there, the drinks come quickly: shots of Captain’s straight from the bottle, cans of Keystone straight from the funnel, and 2 games of flip cup…all before 10 am.

You’re feeling good, like a rock star.

“I LOVE DAY DRINKING!” You scream. “This party’s goin’ all. night. long!”

As you make your way from friend to friend, you do your part to make sure everyone is drinking as much as you. After all, you are a day drinking champion and everyone else should be able to handle it, too.

“DRINK, PUSSY!” You shove your half-empty beer can in some guy’s face. “There is no sobriety on GAME DAY!”

You spend the next hour cycling between games of flip cup, trips to the bathroom (because you broke the seal too early), and hazing your friends into drinking more.  Oh, and who can forget, taking lots and lots of pictures. Mostly of you and one of many alcoholic beverages.

Eventually it’s time to start walking to the game. You throw your last beer can onto the ground, hop on some boy’s back and head towards the stadium. You’re wasted and that’s the point; the day has only just begun.

You stumble to your seat and then those early morning decisions hit you. Like a truck. You make it through the kick-off and then the bench you are standing on starts swaying. You try to remain standing to root on your team, but it’s nearly impossible, what with the rocky boat you seem to be standing on. And the cotton ball that if jammed in your mouth.

You take a seat and then the spins begin. It’s only about another 3 minutes before you are calling a friend and begging her to walk to home. You stuff your face with a Jimmy John’s Turkey Tom (no sprouts) on the stumble trek back to your place, then climb into bed fully clothed and pass out (with a garbage can nearby) all before 1 p.m.

You wake up a few hours later, chug a bottle of water and then get back into bed. Your roommates try to rouse you to join them for the night’s festivities, but the thought of alcohol gives you the chills.

You were too quick out of the gates, my friend.  But it’s ok – we’ve all been there.
Day drinking’s a bitch. There aren’t many people who can keep it goin’ all night long.

Hi sweetie. Long time no see. I take that back. I saw you last Friday. Same place, same hazy look in your eyes, different black dress that falls down to expose your bra. This one doesn’t have vomit on it… yet! Congratulations.

As much as going out and drinking in college is an integral part of your experience, I don’t think you serenading a fraternity with “Like a Virgin” into your half-empty Smirnoff handle (your makeshift microphone) while balancing on a coffee table is necessarily the right way to spend your Tuesday night.

You were very stylish at the beginning of the night. Your dress hung perfectly, eyelashes were curled, hair was straightened, heels were spotless and your jewelry matched. However, after those three, four or five shots of Patron? That sexy little dress you picked up at the Saks sale is riding up and showing off your embarrassing leopard print boy shorts. The mascara you so diligently applied is now running down your face after your tearful breakdown about how much you “love everyone sooooo much” and “like, can’t wait to have you all as my bridesmaids.” You seem to have more hair in your face than in your ponytail and one of your high heels is nowhere to be found. Check yourself, honey.

Is that pimply beast of a guy you’re making out with in front of everyone your boyfriend? Hope not, because you just made out with his best friend four minutes ago when you assaulted him against the beer pong table. Yes, beer pong winner is impressive, but it’s not like he just saved a child from a fire. Speaking of, can we talk about your beer pong game? It’s called beer pong for a reason. Not “mass amounts of vodka and a splash of cranberry” pong. When you’ve reached that point where hard liquor in the beer pong cups seems like a good idea, you’ve gone too far.

No, no one wants to split a supreme pizza with you, go to the strip club “just for fun,” drunk dial the Dean’s office or add a rule in any drinking game that involves getting naked. Drunk girl, it’s the middle of the week and don’t you have a final tomorrow? And stop yelling at the poor guy who made your drink – there is plenty of vodka in there and not his fault that you just can’t TASTE it anymore.

I love you, drunk girl. Because, sometimes, I am you. But even when I’m not, I still adore you because I have a great time making fun of you and drawing penises all over you when you pass out on the floor of some random living room amidst a Tila Tequila marathon.

XOXO,
Melanie

Melanie currently interning in NYC, taking full advantage of all margarita specials and those blonde summer boys. Stalk her on Twitter: @tinkermellie

As much as I would love to silently judge your drunken mistakes, I can’t help but  laugh it off, talk about you to my friends and hope that I just caught you after you had a horrible week (which is slightly understandable, right?) However, in most cases, I caught you in your element, flashing the party your new bedazzled thong while sloppily trying to climb up on the beer pong table to dance.  Ohh, here we go…

There are a few ways that you can tell you’re “that mess” the entire party is talking about (but you can’t hear because you’re busy screaming the lyrics of “If You Seek Amy”).

- Dancing with your arms above your head…to every song…on a table.
- Tossing your cookies on people or just barely before reaching the bathroom.
- Falling down (or even up) the stairs in front of everyone.
- Crying over…literally anything and everything
- “Oh my goddd i lovvee you!”
- Not being afraid to make out with that random guy (or girl) for a few pictures.
- Passing out in random places and finding “please insert here” with an arrow pointing down on your stomach when you wake up.
- Slowly disrobing at a rate of… every five minutes or less.
- Finding yourself hugging the toilet bowl at the end of the night tighter than when you hugged your teddy bear a decade earlier

Well, home girl, don’t sweat your already smeared makeup off, because I’m not criticizing!  This letter is for you drunkies who have taught me many valuable lessons from you’re absolutely annihilated nights.  After much observing of your dazed decisions, I don’t want to say “WTF is wrong with you!?” What I really want to say is Thanks.

Thanks for making me look so much better, mature, put together, and all around sexy while standing next to your drunk ass.

Thanks for being brave enough to steal that 40 oz. from the fridge, and then dumb enough to hand it over to me, FO’ FREE!

Thanks for running down the street screaming with just a tank top and jeans on (in 30 degree weather), allowing the cops to easily spot and tackle you before they get to me.

Thanks for leaving your jacket at the party. I love my new fleece!

Thanks for passing out in the bathroom so I could start flirting with the guy you were falling all over all night.

Thanks for drunkenly opening a tab and offering free drinks to everyone standing around you.

Thanks for giving me and my friends something to laugh at that night, and days later.

But most importantly, Thanks for teaching me how NOT to act at a party.