Week after week (after week after week…), CollegeCandy and our pal John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, and saddest things he hears on his college campus. And we know he’s not the only one who hears this stuff. Join the Overheard revolution! Listen in on some weirdos’ conversations and share them in the comments or send ‘em over. You know there’s a lot of funny things to be heard on your campus, so get to it. We’ll throw them in a future post!

(Two girls in the dining hall.)

Girl 1: God, I am seriously the best wing man ever!

Girl 2: Well, who’s your wing man?

Girl 1: (Pointing to her breasts and shimmying) I’ve got two.

(Man, woman, waiting in the lobby of a hair salon.)

Man (looking in mirror): What do you think? It worked for Wolverine, you know.

Woman: No. It wouldn’t work for you.

Man: It’s … it’s working already. Read More »

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After one too many plastic cups of Pabst Blue Ribbon, I’ve moved on to wine as my new drink of choice. But, like beer, there are many kinds of bad wine that are too easy to accidentally drink. So what makes a good wine? And what’s the difference between a chardonnay and a Cabernet?

Here’s the rundown on the mot popular kinds of wine and what to drink them with.

Reds

Cabernet Sauvignon is produced mainly in France and California. This red is what’s called “full bodied,” meaning it’s got a rich, strong flavor of dark fruits like black current. The best Cabernets taste a bit earthy and dry and they tend to get better with age, so pick-up a bottle with the earliest date (as in, 2003 rather than 2008).

Pair with red meat, grilled vegetables, or pasta with red sauce.

Merlot is arguably the most popular red wine. Merlot can range from medium to full-bodied and is high in alcohol and low in acidity. Flavors include plum and chocolate (yum!). Grown all over the world, this wine is easy to enjoy.

Pair with pasta with red sauce, beef, or grilled or smoky meats.

Pinot Noir is made from a velvety grape that is one of the hardest to grow, which makes a good pinot great and a bad pinot terrible. A good pinot will be complex, with flavors ranging from black cherries to earthy spices. Pinot Noir grapes traditionally come from Burgundy, France, but are now being perfected in Oregon and California.

Pair with salmon, pasta, or pork. Read More »

I’m guilty—I have, on ravenous occasions, busted out a package of Easy Mac, thrust it in the microwave, and unceremoniously chowed down on its contents less than five minutes later. Did I feel good about it? No, especially given my current reputation for cooking actual food rather than food that looks fluorescent.

I am not above admitting that Easy Mac is sometimes necessary. After all, if you truly have only ten minutes with which to make and eat dinner, it’s better to eat Easy Mac than nothing at all. But if you have even five more spare minutes, you can make something tastier, healthier, and all-around better.

That’s right—I’m talking about homemade mac and cheese.

It doesn’t get any easier than this, folks:

INGREDIENTS

• cheese of your choice (I like a mix of cheddar and parmesan)

• milk

• flour

• pasta (any kind words, but elbow macaroni is nice for nostalgia’s sake) Read More »

I’m not a vegetarian, but I like to eat like one. I’m very picky with meats (I don’t eat seafood, beef, or pork); I try to eat healthy (even though I typically consume the calories I cut throughout the week in weekend drinking binges); and, most importantly, I’m a horrible cook, so I’d rather microwave a faux-chicken cutlet than get salmonella from undercooking a juicy piece of pollo.

A recent issue of Shape magazine suggested eating vegetarian once a week, and I was like, “Heyyy I already do that! I rock!” They also featured a mouthwatering recipe for vegetarian paella. That’s not going to happen. So, whether you’re a carnivore or a herbivore, trying to shave some calories from your diet, or too busy to slave over a hot stove, I give you vegetarian meals in five minutes or less. All you need is a microwave.

1. Boca Meatless Chili

You need:

–Boca Meatless Chili, from the freezer section of your grocery store.

–2 slices of whole wheat bread

*Zap the chili for three minutes, stir, and nuke for one more minute.

*While the chili is in the microwave, pop the whole wheat bread in the toaster.

*Cut the whole wheat toast in quarters, top with tasty chili, and enjoy! Read More »

You make a lot of mac and cheese. Right? Don’t lie. I’m onto you.

The thing is, you could very easy (and for much less money than going out to eat) make a much more enjoyable and fine-dining form of carby goodness: pasta with scallops.

This is a particularly good dish for entertaining. Also, did I mention it’s delicious? Well, it’s delicious.

Now get cracking:

Stuff You’ll Need

-1 pound of the pasta of your choice (but NOT something individual like bowties or elbows)

-1 1/2 pounds of scallops

-3/4 cups of butter

-3 shallots

-2 cups of a dry white wine (perhaps a Pinot Grigio?) Read More »

For the past several years, I seem to have forgotten that couscous existed. My grain options were either pasta or bread, all the time. Then I came across an old recipe of my mom’s that called for couscous. YUM! Definitely worth picking up a box.

The thick, Mediterranean-style sauce in this chicken recipe is full of flavor, and the couscous is great for soaking it up. It would taste a little weird with rice, and the consistency wouldn’t be right with pasta. But with couscous? Delectable.

It serves one, and here’s what you need:

• Olive oil

• 1 chicken breast

• salt and pepper to taste

• 1 serving of couscous, either flavored or plain (about 1/3 cup dry)

• 1/3 of an onion, chopped in thin rings or strips

• 1 garlic clove, sliced into very thin circles

• 4-5 baby bella mushrooms, sliced (white mushrooms work, too) Read More »

When I was little, I used to hate goat cheese. It tasted so, for lack of a better word, weird. Now that I have a wider culinary palette and more sophisticated tastes (or so I hope), I try to incorporate goat cheese into more of my cooking.

In this pasta, the goat cheese flavor isn’t overwhelming, but it does make the dish nice and creamy and give it a unique taste.

To make enough pasta for two, you’ll need one baby eggplant, about 2 tablespoons of olive oil, one small onion, one large non-green bell pepper (or two small ones), two garlic cloves, 3 tablespoons of fresh basil or ½ teaspoon dried, ¼ teaspoon salt, ¼ teaspoon pepper, enough pasta for two, 1/3 cup dry white wine (optional), and 2 ounces of fresh goat cheese.

First things first: heat the oven to 375, and peel the baby eggplant. Slice it into ¼” half-moons. Rub the eggplant pieces with half the olive oil, and place them on a baking sheet. Bake 10-15 minutes, turn them over, then bake 10-15 more minutes. Read More »

Mmmmmm. When I was little, my mom sometimes made jumbo pasta shells stuffed with a mixture of diced mushrooms, ricotta cheese, spinach, and ground meat. They were fantastic, but a little too creamy for my taste. These, on the other hand, are not creamy at all and are every bit as good as my mom’s. They taste especially excellent with a nice hunk of Italian bread and olive oil.

When I make them, I sub out the ground pork for ground beef because I usually don’t have ground pork lying around. You can probably use frozen spinach if you want, but the fresh spinach really makes a tremendous difference. Also, I normally leave out the nutmeg—you can’t taste it in the final product, and I’m not a big nutmeg fan, anyway.

I also cut down on sodium and fat a little bit by replacing the heavy cream with light cream or milk (works just fine) and omitting the salt altogether (usually, the tomato sauce will provide all the saltiness you need). Read More »

Feeling classy? If you have some extra time to cook, I guarantee this recipe will not disappoint. It’s great to make on weekends when the pressure of schoolwork isn’t looming, and it also works like a charm to impress that special someone.

For a two-person dish, you need ¼ tsp salt, ¼ tsp pepper, ½ tsp rosemary (fresh is best, but dried works, too), one small butternut squash, cooking spray, 2-3 slices of bacon, ½ c onions or shallots, 8 oz uncooked pasta, 2 tablespoons flour, 1 c milk, and ½ c shredded parmesan or asiago cheese.

First, heat the oven to 425. Prepare your butternut squash by halving it lengthwise and scooping out the seeds with a spoon.

Coat a cookie sheet with aluminum foil and cooking spray, then lay the squash halves, cut side up, on the sheet. Sprinkle them with the salt, the pepper, and the rosemary. Bake the squash for an hour. Don’t turn off the oven when it’s done, because you’ll need it again soon.

If you’re short on time, you can also peel and cube the squash before you bake it. You want cubes of about 1” all around. Scatter the cubes on the baking sheet, coat with the above mixture, and cook for 30-45 minutes.

When the squash is done, it should be soft and dark, like this: Read More »