Although it may not feel like it (what up gloves in March), but summer is coming. And with summer comes tank tops, short shorts and bikinis. You know you want to start getting in shape for all those beach photos, but you also know you’re not ready to cut out all your favorite snacks. After all, what is life without ice cream or cheese? What is a night out without beer followed by the drunk munchies.

Here are some suggestions on how to make your favorite and most unhealthy foods a little bit healthier. Although it’s not exactly the same, these options are still tasty AND they don’t include that guilty feeling in the pit of your stomach when you wake up the next morning spooning an empty pizza box. Trust me, you’ll thank yourself in June, when you’re feeling totally fabulous in that new string bikini.

You don’t need to give up your favorite junky foods while you’re trying to slim down — just keep these tweaks in mind and you’ll be cutting down on a lot of unwanted calories!

Week after week (after week after week…), CollegeCandy and our pal John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, and saddest things he hears on his college campus. And we know he’s not the only one who hears this stuff. Join the Overheard revolution! Listen in on some weirdos’ conversations and share them in the comments or send ‘em over. You know there’s a lot of funny things to be heard on your campus, so get to it. We’ll throw them in a future post!

(Two girls in the dining hall.)

Girl 1: God, I am seriously the best wing man ever!

Girl 2: Well, who’s your wing man?

Girl 1: (Pointing to her breasts and shimmying) I’ve got two.

(Man, woman, waiting in the lobby of a hair salon.)

Man (looking in mirror): What do you think? It worked for Wolverine, you know.

Woman: No. It wouldn’t work for you.

Man: It’s … it’s working already.

(Two guys, in a dorm community kitchen.)

Guy 1: What the f—?

Guy 2:  I can’ t cook these. These are like, Russian Nesting Kielbasas or something.

(Guys talking over dinner at the dining hall.)

Guy: I wouldn’t want to kick any girl filled with toffee. She can keep it.

(Guys, girl, talking in a dorm hallway.)

Guy 1: God. So itchy. I hate Beardvember.

Guy 2: I think it’s Novembeard, right?

Guy 3: I’m used to hearing “No Shave November.”

Girl: I always just called it “30 days of pubes.”

(Girl, serving herself food, looking quizzically at the pasta.)

Girl: Who stole the insides of these?

(Two girls and a guy, in the library.)

Girl 1: I wish all the lights were tanning bulbs.

Girl 2: I know! We’d be so tan, we could just pretend it’s summer. No one would know. It would be amazing.

Guy: Yeah, or we’d all burn to a crisp after our eyeballs fall out. It would be like “‘attack of the sick overworked bacon students in the library.”

Girl 1:  Way to bring me down. Debbie friggin’ Downer. Now I want a breakfast sandwich.

Girl 2: Ooh, with bacon?

Guy: I hate you both.

(Girl, on the phone.)

Girl: It’s not that. It’s that I never believe you any more. I don’t … no! I can’t trust you! I just can’t! Listen, I can’t do this right now. Can I hang up and just text you instead?

(Girl and guy, walking past yelling girl on campus thoroughfare.)

Girl 1 (yelling): Who wants some free koofers?

Girl 2: What’s a koofer?

Guy: It’s a sensation you get down in your nethers.

(Two girls, on computers in the library.)

Girl 1: All these guys are such crap.

Girl 2: Yeah, I want to date the good guys. I want the good guys with the right moves.

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Here’s the rundown on the mot popular kinds of wine and what to drink them with.

Reds

Cabernet Sauvignon is produced mainly in France and California. This red is what’s called “full bodied,” meaning it’s got a rich, strong flavor of dark fruits like black current. The best Cabernets taste a bit earthy and dry and they tend to get better with age, so pick-up a bottle with the earliest date (as in, 2003 rather than 2008).

Pair with red meat, grilled vegetables, or pasta with red sauce.

Merlot is arguably the most popular red wine. Merlot can range from medium to full-bodied and is high in alcohol and low in acidity. Flavors include plum and chocolate (yum!). Grown all over the world, this wine is easy to enjoy.

Pair with pasta with red sauce, beef, or grilled or smoky meats.

Pinot Noir is made from a velvety grape that is one of the hardest to grow, which makes a good pinot great and a bad pinot terrible. A good pinot will be complex, with flavors ranging from black cherries to earthy spices. Pinot Noir grapes traditionally come from Burgundy, France, but are now being perfected in Oregon and California.

Pair with salmon, pasta, or pork.

Zinfandel is an up-and-coming wine. The fancier Pinot Noir and Cabernet Sauvignon wines often overshadow this red, but California growers have started to turn Zinfandel into their pet project. Flavors can range from light fruits to peppery fruits.

Pair with spicy or highly seasoned foods.

Whites

Chardonnay is one of the most popular whites and the grapes for this wine are grown all over the world. This wine is slightly dry with some acidity and can have flavors of figs, peaches, and/or honey.

Pair with seafood, grilled fish, chicken, or pork.

Pinot Blanc is a bit simpler than a Chardonnay, and a younger Pinot Blanc is better than an older one because they don’t respond too well to aging. This wine is dry with high acidity, and it offers a hint of apples and spice. The grapes for this wine grow well in the Alsace region of France and in California.

Pair with vegetable-based dishes roast chicken, fish, or pork.

Sauvignon Blanc is sharp, acidic, and light- to medium-bodied. This white wine can taste of grass and herbs (in a good way, promise!) or of grapefruit, and it can be drunk when it’s young or aged, both taste good. Look for a Sauvignon Blanc that comes from a warmer climate for a fruitier, melon flavor. This grape grows well in northeastern Italy, California, and New Zealand, but the best ones are from France’s Loire Valley and Bordeaux region.

Pair with chicken, fish, vegetarian cuisine, or Asian food.

When in doubt, don’t be shy about asking a clerk in a good supermarket (like Trader Joe’s or Whole Foods) or go into a specialty wine shop and ask for a suggestion. And check out wine.woot.com, each week they’ve got a new deal on wine. This week, it’s two bottles of Little Vineyards 2004 Cabernet Sauvignon for $45 (one bottle usually retails for $30).

I am not above admitting that Easy Mac is sometimes necessary. After all, if you truly have only ten minutes with which to make and eat dinner, it’s better to eat Easy Mac than nothing at all. But if you have even five more spare minutes, you can make something tastier, healthier, and all-around better.

That’s right—I’m talking about homemade mac and cheese.

It doesn’t get any easier than this, folks:

INGREDIENTS

• cheese of your choice (I like a mix of cheddar and parmesan)

• milk

• flour

• pasta (any kind words, but elbow macaroni is nice for nostalgia’s sake)

1.    Boil the pasta until it’s done. Drain. (Time: 10-12 minutes.)

2.    While the pasta is boiling, mix together ½ cup of milk and 1 tablespoon of flour for each serving of mac and cheese. (Time: 1 minute.)

3.    Put the pasta in a bowl or back in the pot. Stir in the milk-flour mixture, and cook on low heat until bubbly. (Time: 1 minute.)

4.    Turn off the heat, and stir in the cheese. (Time: 30 seconds.)

5.    Eat.

That’s it! Fast, easy, delicious—I don’t ever want to hear any more excuses for eating something that looks nuclear when you can make this instead.

[photo from i.timeinc.net]

A recent issue of Shape magazine suggested eating vegetarian once a week, and I was like, “Heyyy I already do that! I rock!” They also featured a mouthwatering recipe for vegetarian paella. That’s not going to happen. So, whether you’re a carnivore or a herbivore, trying to shave some calories from your diet, or too busy to slave over a hot stove, I give you vegetarian meals in five minutes or less. All you need is a microwave.

1. Boca Meatless Chili

You need:

–Boca Meatless Chili, from the freezer section of your grocery store.

–2 slices of whole wheat bread

*Zap the chili for three minutes, stir, and nuke for one more minute.

*While the chili is in the microwave, pop the whole wheat bread in the toaster.

*Cut the whole wheat toast in quarters, top with tasty chili, and enjoy!

The vegetarian chili is spicy enough to satisfy your taste buds, and for you South Beach Dieters out there, it works for phases 2 and 3. Plus, it packs 20 grams of protein for extra energy. One package is only ONE measly gram of fat and 150 calories, so even with the whole wheat toast, you’re looking at 3-5 grams of fat and just over 300 calories for a totally satisfying meal.

2. Garden Burger Buffalo Wrap

You need:

–One Garden Burger brand veggie patty, from the freezer section

–A low-carb tortilla wrap (I recommend a wheat or spinach flavor)

–One slice Kraft 2% milk Colby-Jack cheese

–Frank’s Red Hot Buffalo Wing Sauce

–Lettuce and tomato

*Throw the Garden Burger in the microwave for 30-35 seconds on each side. I usually top the patty with cheese when there’s about 15 seconds left to cook so it gets all melty and delicious.

*Pour a thin line of Red Hot sauce down the center of your tortilla.

*Slice the Garden Burger and cheese into strips and arrange it evenly on the tortilla so you’ll be able to roll it up.

*Top with lettuce and tomato, wrap it up, and prepare yourself for some fiery goodness.

Personally, I am obsessed with Garden Burgers, but other brands, such as Boca and Morningstar Farms also make pretty good vegetarian burgers. The Garden Burger brand packs only 100 calories and 3.5 grams of fat. The cool Colby-Jack cheese (5 grams fat, 50 calories) pairs well with Frank’s spicy sauce, which won’t add fat or calories to the sandwich. Bonus: spicy foods rev your metabolism!

3. Steamed Vegetable Plate

You need:

–One Dole Vegetables Microwave-Ready Bag, from the produce section

–Kraft 2% milk shredded mozzarella cheese

–Bertolli Vodka Sauce

*Pierce holes in the bag of veggies, and microwave for 3-5 minutes.

*While the veggies are “steaming,” heat the vodka sauce on the stove (Okay, I know I said you only need a microwave. If you don’t have a stove, you can heat the sauce in the micro while the veggies are cooling).

*Mix vegetables and sauce together, and sprinkle mozzarella cheese on top. The hot vegetables will melt the cheese.

Since discovering these handy steam-in-a-microwave packs, I’ve cut a LOT of pasta out of my life, which also happens to cut carbs. The vodka sauce is a bit higher in fat than I usually cook with (10 grams of fat for half a cup), but it’s an indulgence I’m willing to allow. The melted mozz is a great finish. For a lower-fat option, use regular marinara sauce.

There are plenty of meat-free products out there that are tasty, convenient, and healthy, so play around with your cooking, er, microwaving. Boca Chik’N patties also make for a mean sandwich, and if you find yourself a fan of Garden Burgers, you can sub them for meat in just about any recipe– I like to top salads with meatless patties, on occasion.

Plus, get your friends on the vegetarian bandwagon by making Boca Meatless Chili nachos, with Baked! Tostitos and Kraft 2% milk Mexican Cheese blend. Congratulate yourself on cutting calories by drinking an ice cold, calorie-packed margarita!

The thing is, you could very easy (and for much less money than going out to eat) make a much more enjoyable and fine-dining form of carby goodness: pasta with scallops.

This is a particularly good dish for entertaining. Also, did I mention it’s delicious? Well, it’s delicious.

Now get cracking:

Stuff You’ll Need

-1 pound of the pasta of your choice (but NOT something individual like bowties or elbows)

-1 1/2 pounds of scallops

-3/4 cups of butter

-3 shallots

-2 cups of a dry white wine (perhaps a Pinot Grigio?)

-3 tablespoons of flour

-2 cloves of garlic

-2 tablespoons of cream (note: you can substitute half&half if you want to save the calories)

Now:

Wash the scallops really, really carefully. This dish is pointless if you get sick.

Mince the garlic till it’s quite minced and chop up the shallots until they’re quite chopped.

Simmer the scallops in the wine until they are tender (but not until they’re rubbery! watch them closely!). Then drain the liquid into a bowl. (You will need it later.)

Melt the butter into a pan and saute the garlic and the shallots, stirring in the flour. Then add in the cream (or half&half) and the liquid from before. Mix all this shiz together until it’s blended nicely.

Now add in the scallops and add salt and pepper as needed. While you’re doing this, you should be boiling the pasta.

When all these things are done, put them all together. Deliciosa! Enjoy!!

(Bonus if you get a hottie over to share the spoils of your work. Deliciosa x 10!)

[Image courtesy of www.taunton.com]

The thick, Mediterranean-style sauce in this chicken recipe is full of flavor, and the couscous is great for soaking it up. It would taste a little weird with rice, and the consistency wouldn’t be right with pasta. But with couscous? Delectable.

It serves one, and here’s what you need:

• Olive oil

• 1 chicken breast

• salt and pepper to taste

• 1 serving of couscous, either flavored or plain (about 1/3 cup dry)

• 1/3 of an onion, chopped in thin rings or strips

• 1 garlic clove, sliced into very thin circles

• 4-5 baby bella mushrooms, sliced (white mushrooms work, too)

• 1 tablespoon sun-dried tomatoes, sliced into strips (oil-packed or not is okay)

• 5-6 kalamata olives, pitted and halved

• ¼ tsp each of rosemary, thyme, and basil

• 2 tablespoons chicken broth

• 2-3 tablespoons dry white wine

Begin by sprinkling the chicken breast with salt and pepper and sautéing it in olive oil until it’s brown, a little crispy on the outside, and fully cooked. Set it aside.

While you’re waiting for the chicken breast to finish cooking, you can start the sauce. Put a little olive oil in a second pan, and once it’s hot, add the onion and garlic. Sauté until the garlic is light brown and the onion is translucent and beginning to get brown. Add the mushrooms, sun-dried tomatoes, and kalamata olives. Sauté for another 2-3 minutes, until the mushrooms release their juices and are brown. Add the rosemary, thyme, and basil. Sauté for about a minute. Add the chicken broth and wine, and cover the pan.

Now make the couscous. Most varieties cook in less than ten minutes, so it should be ready very soon. Keep an eye on the clock.

When the couscous is done, check your sauce. It should be thickened and the liquid should have boiled down to almost nothing. If not, simmer it for a few more minutes, or just let the couscous soak up the liquids.

On a plate, layer your delicious dinner in this order: bed of couscous at the bottom, crisp chicken breast in the middle, and thick Mediterranean sauce on top. Fantastic!

In this pasta, the goat cheese flavor isn’t overwhelming, but it does make the dish nice and creamy and give it a unique taste.

To make enough pasta for two, you’ll need one baby eggplant, about 2 tablespoons of olive oil, one small onion, one large non-green bell pepper (or two small ones), two garlic cloves, 3 tablespoons of fresh basil or ½ teaspoon dried, ¼ teaspoon salt, ¼ teaspoon pepper, enough pasta for two, 1/3 cup dry white wine (optional), and 2 ounces of fresh goat cheese.

First things first: heat the oven to 375, and peel the baby eggplant. Slice it into ¼” half-moons. Rub the eggplant pieces with half the olive oil, and place them on a baking sheet. Bake 10-15 minutes, turn them over, then bake 10-15 more minutes.

While you’re waiting for the hot eggplant slices to cool, start cooking the pasta, and chop up the bell pepper(s) and onion into very thin rings and the garlic into very thin slices.

If the eggplant is cool enough, slice the half-moons into thinner, bite-sized strips.

Heat the remaining half of the olive oil in a large pan, and add the pepper slices, onion slices, and garlic. Cook until everything is limp and a little brown, about 5-7 minutes.

Add the eggplant strips to the veggies, and cook for 3-5 minutes more.

Drain the pasta when it’s finished cooking—if you don’t have the white wine, though, keep 1/3 cup of the pasta liquid to use for the sauce. Add the cooked pasta and the basil to the veggies and eggplant.

Finally, add the goat cheese and the pasta water or white wine. Turn the heat way down, and stir the pasta until everything is incorporated and the texture is creamy and cheesy. When it’s all mixed well, chow down!

Mmmmmm. When I was little, my mom sometimes made jumbo pasta shells stuffed with a mixture of diced mushrooms, ricotta cheese, spinach, and ground meat. They were fantastic, but a little too creamy for my taste. These, on the other hand, are not creamy at all and are every bit as good as my mom’s. They taste especially excellent with a nice hunk of Italian bread and olive oil.

When I make them, I sub out the ground pork for ground beef because I usually don’t have ground pork lying around. You can probably use frozen spinach if you want, but the fresh spinach really makes a tremendous difference. Also, I normally leave out the nutmeg—you can’t taste it in the final product, and I’m not a big nutmeg fan, anyway.

I also cut down on sodium and fat a little bit by replacing the heavy cream with light cream or milk (works just fine) and omitting the salt altogether (usually, the tomato sauce will provide all the saltiness you need).

You can coat the bottom of the pan with the tomato sauce like the recipe recommends, but I prefer to drizzle it over the tops of the unbaked pasta shells—it looks better, and it’s a guarantee that you’ll get some tomato taste with each shell. Better yet—don’t use pureed spaghetti-type tomato sauce at all. Instead, make your own chunky tomato sauce using fresh tomatoes, onions, and a little bit of tomato paste or regular tomato sauce.

Oh, and I usually make eight or nine stuffed shells instead of just six. Trust me—it’s a struggle to stop after just three.