When you think “Ivy League,” you probably picture stone walls and iron gates, clean-cut students in oxford shirts, aged professors expounding the theories of Pavlov and Plato.  You hold this sacred society of the intellectually elite to a higher set of standards than those porch-poopin’ sorority girls in Ohio.  And rightly you should.  The Ivies exist to make the rest of us feel that much stupider.  They’re traditionally the most selective universities in the country, accepting only the best this world has to offer in the form of eighteen-year-old guys and girls.

I guess that explains why Brian Corman was accepted into Columbia University four years ago.

Clearly, the guy was an amazing student while at CU; after all, he graduated valedictorian of his class.  And as everyone who went to high school knows, what does the valedictorian do while wearing a funny square hat and a long robe?  No, I’m not referring to the first time Smarty McSmartypants got drunk.  I’m actually referring to graduation day and the epic, heartfelt, wisdom-filled speech that is delivered by the class’ Numero Uno.

To send off his fellow classmates and wish them well in the great beyond, Corman stole a slew of lines from comedian Patton Oswalt.  On the day Columbia was handing him his diploma, and over something as insignificant as a joke in a speech, he plagiarized.  Oh, Corman, say it ain’t so. Read More »

Herb Peterson, the McMastermind behind the Egg McMuffin, died last week at the age of 89. The egg-cellent treat has been curing hangovers and serious morning cravings since 1972 and Mr. Peterson’s genius will certainly be missed.

Though the Egg McMuffin has a place in the halls of fast food history, not every snack can be so lucky. As a junk food enthusiast and resident gross food researcher, here are my Top 3 Fast Food Flubs.

#3 – Tacos at Burger King (2002)

In a word, they were disgusting. For some reason, the King decided to make a trip south of the border and added 50 cent tacos to their dollar menu. They were soggy, poorly seasoned, used American cheese and the beef may have been horse…or vomit. I don’t know who quarterbacked that decision in the Burger King boardroom but I hope they were sent packing. Better question, I don’t know why I wasted a hard earned dollar from my high school wallet to try them out.

#2 - KFC Famous Chicken Bowls (2006) Read More »