I want to go to there.

Could life be any more stressful right now? If midterms weren’t enough, we have to find the time to get our bodies in shape for Spring Break, watch a buttload of TV, and figure out what we’re going to wear for St. Patrick’s day.

I have been an anxious mess all week; even last night’s 90-minute yoga sesh didn’t ease my mind. Instead of letting everything go and focusing on my breathing, I used Downward Dog as a time to notice how fat my thighs were and how badly I needed a pedicure. Then I started thinking of all the other things I could be doing with that time, making a mental list in my head.

It’s exhausting. I just wish I could be somewhere else for an hour. Somewhere with no stress, no assignments, no anything but pure bliss and relaxation. Like in bed…with Joel McHale and Paul Rudd…while Paula Deen feeds us big, buttery cupcakes. Or on a yacht with Beyonce and Jay-Z, just hanging out and admiring the brand new Louboutin pumps they got me for my birthday.

Just thinking about it all makes me feel a little less stressed, less anxious. Since I know I’m not the only one freaking out right now, I asked the CollegeCandy writers to tell me what they would do if they had an hour of total freedom. Read More »

TV is like real life, right?

First, every television set in America goes digital, and now TV is going 3D? Yes, people, the future is here. According to MSNBC, ESPN will be the first network to go 3D this June, dubbing their new station ESPN 3D (rather original) and fulfilling every sports fanatic’s wet dream for a decade.

One of the main purposes is to help take a step for all TV to become 3D. While we can all do without A&E’s Hoarders popping out of the TV and taking over our living rooms, I’m sure we can all agree that there is nothing more heavenly than being able to reach out and touch Dr. McDreamy’s fine looking bod. In fact, much like adding a little extra buttercream on top of a cupcake, shooting my favorite shows in 3D will only make them that much sweeter:

Sex and the City: Who wouldn’t wanna reach out and give Samantha a high five while she gets it on with one of her (many) hotties in 3D?

Hung: For those of you that don’t know, Hung is about a man who is, well, hung. Enough said.

Portuguese soccer: Okay, what would you do if Cristiano Ronaldo was in your TV room in 3D?  If your answer is “nothing” you’re a big, fat liar.

The Food Network: There is nothing I want more than to have Paula Deen in my living room. OK, so maybe in my kitchen. Cooking me something. With lots of butter. But I’ll take her Krispy Kreme Casserole in 3D any day.

Gossip Girl: Chanel bags, YSL heels, Chuck Bass and Dan Humphrey nose to nose with me?  I’m not leaving my couch ever again.

DROOL.

Is LiLo getting a reality show?!

WTF is Rihanna wearing?

Good Morning America gives Adam Lambert the boot.

Well, this is one effed up family.

Paula Deen gets up close and personal with a pig.

I am absolutely obsessed with the Food Network. My friend Rachael even goes so far as to refer to their cooking shows as “my porn.” Ironic, considering that some say that the Food Network uses angles and editing similar to that of pornography to make it more appealing. I don’t know if it’s the food, the angles, or the fact that my parents refuse to buy the full cable package, but I just can’t get enough of the Food Network. Here are some of my favorite shows/top reasons to check out the most addicting of television networks. What’s your excuse?

Paula Deen’s Home Cooking: You see, I’m a nutrition major. This (in theory) means that I should be a pretty healthy eater. The thing I love about Paula Deen’s cooking is that she makes the unhealthiest food possible. I have yet to see one of her southern dishes prepared without butter, mayonnaise, shortening, or some combination of the three. Watching her make disgustingly delicious food makes me feel like I’m indulging without actually consuming and subsequently gaining ten pounds of lard.

Sandra Lee’s Semi-Homemade: Sandra Lee basically embodies who I want to be when I’m in my 30s. Why? Because she’s hot, knows how to enjoy a good cocktail (or five), and can whip up an amazing meal without actually doing any of the dirty work herself. Plus, she makes the cutest little “tablescapes” out of practically nothing. Basically, watching her show gives you hope that you can be old and still have a life (and good looks to boot). Read More »

Sunday mornings…or should I say, Sunday afternoons. Even though the work or school week promises to take over your life in a few short hours, there is still time to relax, do nothing, and eat some badass brunch. Because unless you’re weird, there’s absolutely nothing better than brunch on a lazy weekend morning. I tend to eat enough at brunch to keep me away from meals until dinner — which is perhaps not the best policy — but once a week, I think it’s absolutely okay to take in a few extra calories.

You know who agrees with me? Paula Dean. You know, the lady with the best show on the Food Network, hands down? Paula cooks with enough butter to grease the entire state of New Hampshire, and never apologizes. I love her. I want to be like her when I grow up. Also, she has this recipe for scrumptious banana french toast. It’s not light, it’s not healthy, but I have made it before and it is worth every. single. carb.

Enjoy, my babies. And let us know if you make it…we want deets.