Life in prison for this fashionable felon.

President-Elect Obama loves YouTube!

Paula might be leaving American Idol.

Is Kim Kardashian really engaged?

Hulk Hogan & Co. are a bunch of douches.

Anderson Cooper watches Real Housewives of Atlanta.

ESPN is stereotyping your school.

Makeup trends for the holiday season.

It’s a hard-knock life for your RA.

The idiot’s guide to networking.

Yup. The juggernaut known as American Idol started up again last night, crash landing into the state of Philadelphia and finding more than enough weirdoes to go with the splashes of talent.

The 7th season will undoubtedly bring a whole new crop of talented-yet-strangely-un-marketable contestants (Remember Ruben? Taylor Hicks? Katharine McPhee? All dropped from their label), snide remarks from Simon, and a crapload of unnecessary tears.

I’m pretty sure I’ve seen it all before, but I could be tempted to watch agan…if someone Sanjaya-esque pops up. He may not have been able to sing or dress himself, but he sure knew how to make those 12-year-olds cry.

Speaking of crying, what about the dude who wrote that creepy stalker song for Paula?! Eesh. Someone get him a hobby