There’s a new plague making its way across college campuses from coast to coast. Take one step into your local incorporated coffee shop, vegan restaurant, Urban Outfitters or American Apparel store and you will be afflicted. (Or blinded by all the neon spandex and overwhelming scent of cigarettes.)

I’m talking, of course, about hipsters.

Don’t know what I’m talking about? Don’t worry’ they’ve even got a Wikipedia page.

I don’t truly despise these people. In fact, some are my dear friends. However, the ones that aren’t my friends are becoming an issue – a taking-all-the-tables-at-my-favorite-coffee-shop issue – and here’s my top 10 reasons that they piss me off. Obviously, not all apply. And obviously there are many, many more.

1. OHMYGOD just because I don’t wear weird clothes doesn’t mean I don’t like good music, too.
Hipsters pride themselves on liking the most unique, underground indie music. And if they like something outside that realm? Well, they like it “ironically.” In fact, I’m pretty sure their entire subculture is based on irony. (Editor’s Note: Maybe Alanis Morisette started the hipster movement?!) They automatically assume if someone is in a polo shirt that their music taste only expands as far as Dave Matthews and OAR. WRONG. Not everyone wears their music taste on their American Apparel sleeves. Get. Real. Check my last.fm; I listen to just as much Arcade Fire as you do and my mom was at Pavement concerts when you were in diapers.

2. The corporations you support are just as bad as the ones you hate.
So, you enjoy taking over Urban Outfitters? Well guess what – UO supported Proposition 8, the recently passed proposition that banned same sex marriage. Urban is owned by the most anti-gay bigot ever. Maybe you should think twice before you go heading over there for your next ironic tee and skinny jeans.

3. Life’s tough. Get a helmet.
Adorn the helmet with Bon Iver stickers. Do what you must, just stop bitching and moaning and sucking down Parliament Lights and PBR cans like it’s your job. You’ve got a trust fund, you unitard-wearing complainer.

4. Hypocritical much?
So, you spend your time hating on people for being judgmental a-holes? While you sit there and judge them based on the fact that they’re wearing mainstream clothing and maybe enjoy rap music? I don’t think that frat boy gives a crap about your life, so why do you care how he lives his?

5. Sports are not the anti-christ.
I like basketball. It’s fun to cheer for things (I know. Enthusiasm. Scary.) and maybe you should try watching it. Just because a lot of people love it doesn’t mean it sucks.

6. People eat animals. They taste real good.
Don’t tell me how my burger came to be. Veganism is your choice, not mine. Do I tell you how your lungs are turning black when you smoke? No. Do I not-so-politely inform you that your skinny jeans are permanently damaging your nerves? Nopers. Don’t remind me that my sandwich was once a living thing.

7.  It’s okay to like things without being ironic.
I’d love to meet a hipster that can openly admit that they un-ironically enjoy Britney Spears or Fall Out Boy. Even just a couple songs. Come on! It’s catchy! I’m not judging you!

8. Starbucks is tasty. Organic coffee tastes funky.
Enough said. Maybe it’s overpriced, but oh my god, I have never had a decent frappucino at an indie coffee shop. Side note: your indie coffee shop is most likely a franchise, too!

9. PBR is gross.
Enough. Said.

10. Smile.
Sunshine, I don’t care what you’re wearing, but for the love of spandex and Ray-Bans, can you please brighten someone’s day and smile? Scowling is super unbecoming.

Love ‘em or hate em, no one can deny that we are surrounded by the hipster generation these days. We are living and breathing in the second-hand smoke of Parliament Lights everywhere we go.  I have spent some time observing them in their natural habitat (dark basements and dive bars in Brooklyn and the entire campus of Virginia Commonwealth University) and have seen the light.

Hipsters really aren’t that bad. In fact, I kind of like them and the wonderful changes they’ve made to our world:

Jeans: Dear Hipsters, Thank you for putting the kibash on baggy jeans. If I had to see one more pair of Tweety Bird boxers muffin-topping out of a sagging mess of denim, I would have gouged my eyes out. And while I may be slightly envious of your lean legs, that’s my own burden to bear. Rock on, skinny-legged hipster. If you got it, flaunt it.

The Polaroid Camera: Yes the Polaroid camera is coming back! And I’d like to thank, in part, the hipster generation. There’s nothing hipsters love more than the instant gratification of seeing themselves in all their avant-garde glory on film. But hey, don’t we all? Otherwise, websites like this would never survive.

The Art of Facial Hair: You may not have thought facial hair to be an art form, but I can guarantee you it is. And it is one that hipsters have explored in depth. The time and precision it takes to perfect a pencil-thin stache is almost obscene.  Never have I seen so many chin-whisker-mustache combinations in my life. I applaud you, uniquely-groomed hipster. You are a special brand of street art as you walk past me.

American Apparel: I’ve often contemplated which came first, the Hipster or the gold-lame filled American Apparel store. But either way, Hipsters brought my favorite deep-v t-shirt to every corner of the U.S.of A. And I do love them for my weekly entertainment that is trying on unitards and trying to figure out where I could wear them.

Eyewear: As a contact-wearer for the past 9 years, I have serious issues when I have to wear my glasses out in public. I feel vulnerable to attack and ridicule. But we all have those days when our eyes simply reject any foreign objects in and around the vicinity of the eyeball. Hipsters have brought sexy back when it comes to eyewear. My retinas thank you.

PBR: I’m not going to lie to you. I enjoy a frosty PBR from time to time. They’re usually a special at bars, probably because they assume no one will order one. But if you’re offering me a $2.50 Pabst Blue Ribbon, I’m gonna take the bait. Hipsters have turned cheap into hip when it comes to binge drinking at a good price. There’s no shame in accepting a PBR, especially when a young hipster bought one (or 5) for you.

Scarves for Men: American Apparel has created the man of my dreams. And in all of my fantasies, Mr. Right is wearing a checkered scarf in a well-fitted tshirt. It takes a special kind of man to pull off a man-scarf. I’m thinking Ashton Kutcher, ladies.

Fanny Packs: I no longer have to be burdened with the task of carrying around a purse or clutch all night. I can strap on my handy fanny pack and hit the local hipster scene with my hands free for more important things, like my Polaroid camera.

[Photo courtesy of LATFH.com. One of the best sites I've ever seen.]

Pregnant woman gets pregnant AGAIN.

Um. I have no words. This is disgusting.

The army gets its  first female drill sergeant!

Wait. Which Kardashian is getting married?!

Cray cray Kelly Bensimon will be taking it all off for Playboy.

Hipsters will save the economy (or at least PBR).

I want to propose the unthinkable:

I think hipsters are kind of OK.

Now, stay with me here.
Many, many people disagree – even some here at CollegeCandy – but if you can look past the obvious (like the mustaches and the outline of the boys’ genitalia through their super tight denim), I think our friends in Bushwick and the ‘Burg have some redeeming qualities. Below, I present a list of their good points:

1. Sometimes their clothes aren’t ridiculous: Just about everyone looks good in a v-neck tee, even if it’s not from American Apparel (sorry, Dov). And skinny jeans and Chuck Taylors may also be hipster mainstays, but let’s not forget, these have been the mark of style for a long time. (Yes, long before some people were rockin’ them out with Wayfarers and fedoras.)  Rock stars wouldn’t be sexy if their jeans weren’t so damn tight and Chucks are comfy with a 40-year history of cool. Everyone from Snoop Dogg to Sylvester Stallone has worn these kicks, and your plaid-clad friends aren’t going to stop now. Neither should you.

2. Cafe culture is fun: Sometimes you deserve to treat yourself to organic coffee grown by only six farmers in the farthest reaches of Kenya on the highest mountain. Savor that $8-cup o’ joe, even if it means sitting through open mic night. Cafes are great for people watching, and you might meet someone cute by the cream and sugar. Nice.

3. They’re sensitive types: Hipsters are devoted to art and many even think they’re good at it. Let a nice guy in glasses and a flannel shirt from Salvation Army write you a song, even if he plays it on a keytar for added “irony” or quirkiness. It’s the thought that counts, right?

4. Admit it–snark can be funny: A little bit of sarcasm goes a long way when it comes to laughing at our daily lives. Case in point: Christian Lander, author of Stuff White People Like (the blog and the book), has the beard, the glasses, and the attitude of hipsters everywhere. And he’s funny.

5. Once you’re in there, they’re…nice: Hipsters sneer at people who watch – and enjoy – reality TV, but after you get them warmed up, they’re just so darn friendly. They’re really liberal with their Parliaments and any other herbal substances you may need. And while you may not like Pabst Blue Ribbon, at least it’s free.

6. They throw great parties: At a hipster party, you know you won’t hear the same five T-Pain songs you heard on your way over there. It’s easy to laugh about hipsters’ taste in music, but I promise you won’t stop dancing as the DJ goes through everything from the oldest rap to the newest mash-ups. Also, see number 5 for hipster etiquette.

Keep this list in mind the next time you happen upon a bar filled with twenty-somethings in plaid and neon brights. You may enjoy it. And I don’t mean ironically.

Don’t worry about how you’re going to stomach all those hot dogs and hamburgers without a “reversal of fortune;” just prepare your body and mind before you start packing away the pounds and six-packs. I know that I’ll be eating twice my own body weight this weekend in order to get over Kevin Jonas being off the market. Well, at least there are two JoBros left! But we may need a bigger bed if we want a chance with either of them (psh, purity rings don’t stand a chance against a girl on a mission – although open-mindedness is not a bad thing, either).

Speaking of celebs, what a crazy week it’s been for them and their adoring fans! Having to dispel rumors about their own deaths can’t be too fun. Hopefully, the coming week will bring with it some things to smile about (and really smile about) in spite of all the bad news we’ve been hearing. The recession is still laying into universities’ budgets and leaving college grads lost in the job search (or just literally lost); but we’ve heard that if you try sometimes, you can get the advice you need to make it in the world.

However, this week still leaves us with one burning question that we have yet to find the answer to: what’s with hipsters and PBR?

Usually when we post questions we find on Yahoo it’s because the questions are so dumb and ridiculous that they make us laugh. Like when people ask about their poo or how to make their genitalia bigger. I mean, really, who asks those sorts of things?

Not this week, though. This one is actually a good one and one we’d love to know the answer to. We’ve truly been wondering about this one since our first encounter with a dude in skinny jeans and Tom’s shoes. And it makes us feel better to know we’re not the only ones confused…

]]> http://collegecandy.com/2009/06/29/yahoo-question-of-the-week-whats-with-the-pbr/feed/ 1 ccandystaff yahoo-question-dynamic yahoo PBR http://collegecandy.com/2009/06/25/the-top-10-reasons-i-am-hating-hipsters/ http://collegecandy.com/2009/06/25/the-top-10-reasons-i-am-hating-hipsters/#comments Thu, 25 Jun 2009 18:00:31 +0000 Melanie - Northeastern University http://collegecandy.com/?p=32475 ]]> There’s a new plague making its way across college campuses from coast to coast. Take one step into your local incorporated coffee shop, vegan restaurant, Urban Outfitters or American Apparel store and you will be afflicted. (Or blinded by all the neon spandex and overwhelming scent of cigarettes.)

I’m talking, of course, about hipsters.

Don’t know what I’m talking about? Don’t worry’ they’ve even got a Wikipedia page.

I don’t truly despise these people. In fact, some are my dear friends. However, the ones that aren’t my friends are becoming an issue – a taking-all-the-tables-at-my-favorite-coffee-shop issue – and here’s my top 10 reasons that they piss me off. Obviously, not all apply. And obviously there are many, many more.

1. OHMYGOD just because I don’t wear weird clothes doesn’t mean I don’t like good music, too.
Hipsters pride themselves on liking the most unique, underground indie music. And if they like something outside that realm? Well, they like it “ironically.” In fact, I’m pretty sure their entire subculture is based on irony. (Editor’s Note: Maybe Alanis Morisette started the hipster movement?!) They automatically assume if someone is in a polo shirt that their music taste only expands as far as Dave Matthews and OAR. WRONG. Not everyone wears their music taste on their American Apparel sleeves. Get. Real. Check my last.fm; I listen to just as much Arcade Fire as you do and my mom was at Pavement concerts when you were in diapers.

2. The corporations you support are just as bad as the ones you hate.
So, you enjoy taking over Urban Outfitters? Well guess what – UO supported Proposition 8, the recently passed proposition that banned same sex marriage. Urban is owned by the most anti-gay bigot ever. Maybe you should think twice before you go heading over there for your next ironic tee and skinny jeans.

3. Life’s tough. Get a helmet.
Adorn the helmet with Bon Iver stickers. Do what you must, just stop bitching and moaning and sucking down Parliament Lights and PBR cans like it’s your job. You’ve got a trust fund, you unitard-wearing complainer.

4. Hypocritical much?
So, you spend your time hating on people for being judgmental a-holes? While you sit there and judge them based on the fact that they’re wearing mainstream clothing and maybe enjoy rap music? I don’t think that frat boy gives a crap about your life, so why do you care how he lives his?

5. Sports are not the anti-christ.
I like basketball. It’s fun to cheer for things (I know. Enthusiasm. Scary.) and maybe you should try watching it. Just because a lot of people love it doesn’t mean it sucks.

6. People eat animals. They taste real good.
Don’t tell me how my burger came to be. Veganism is your choice, not mine. Do I tell you how your lungs are turning black when you smoke? No. Do I not-so-politely inform you that your skinny jeans are permanently damaging your nerves? Nopers. Don’t remind me that my sandwich was once a living thing.

7.  It’s okay to like things without being ironic.
I’d love to meet a hipster that can openly admit that they un-ironically enjoy Britney Spears or Fall Out Boy. Even just a couple songs. Come on! It’s catchy! I’m not judging you!

8. Starbucks is tasty. Organic coffee tastes funky.
Enough said. Maybe it’s overpriced, but oh my god, I have never had a decent frappucino at an indie coffee shop. Side note: your indie coffee shop is most likely a franchise, too!

9. PBR is gross.
Enough. Said.

10. Smile.
Sunshine, I don’t care what you’re wearing, but for the love of spandex and Ray-Bans, can you please brighten someone’s day and smile? Scowling is super unbecoming.

Melanie currently interning in NYC, taking full advantage of all margarita specials and those blonde summer boys. Stalk her on Twitter: @tinkermellie

And the fact that we woke up at 6am just to get a freaking washing machine and a hot shower in this damn dorm is not helping things.

Anyways, in order to get you through the hardest day of the week we thought we’d play a little game of “Would You Rather?” Because what is more fun than pondering life’s most random conundrums?

So, here we go. Choose your answer and explain why in the comments section below!

Would you rather live in a world where at the end of the rainbow there really was a pot of gold OR where at the end of the rainbow there were 500 cases of PBR?

No, we did not think of these ourselves – we aren’t that sick. All questions come from our friends Justin Hiemberg and David Gomberg, creators of the Would You Rather…? series.

This playlist consists of several covers – and some original versions – of an eclectic group of sweet songs. It’s your job to grab your closest music-savvy friends, a case of cheap beer (PBR, maybe?) and play the playlist from start to finish. Every time a song begins, the first person to name the tune and whether it’s the original or the cover version wins and gets to dish out drinks till the next song comes on.

Got it? Good. And I’m not gonna lie, some are a little tricky so you might have to put your Google skillz to the test. Good luck ladies!

Test your music knowledge here & let us know how you did in the comments!

This playlist consists of several covers – and some original versions – of an eclectic group of sweet songs. It’s your job to grab your closest music-savvy friends, a case of cheap beer (PBR, maybe?) and play the playlist from start to finish. Every time a song begins, the first person to name the tune and whether it’s the original or the cover version wins and gets to dish out drinks till the next song comes on.

Got it? Good. And I’m not gonna lie, some are a little tricky so you might have to put your Google skillz to the test. Good luck ladies!

Test your music knowledge here & let us know how you did in the comments!