As a semi-live-in girlfriend, I encounter all kinds of things in my boyfriend’s boudoir that he might have previously attempted to put away or hide to create a more presentable version of himself. Well those days are long gone and I am now subject to every dirty pair of boxers, week old Taco Bell leftover and wet, mildewed towel left on the bed. But these things I’m pretty much immune to. Guys’ rooms are almost by definition a hell of a lot dirtier than girls (at least I like to pretend) and all of these little things can be fixed with a load of laundry, a huge garbage bag and a little Febreeze.

But what are the kinds of things that you would never want to find in your guy’s room? Besides the very obvious (unrecognizable panties, bras, earrings, condom wrappers) I can name a few…

1. Super Creepy Porn.

You can pretty much accept the fact that there will be some form of porn in your guy’s room at some point. You can also be fairly sure that you will accidentally intercept said pornography via mail, browser history or that shoebox under his bed. (Tip: boys don’t want you to surprise them with spring cleaning; you probably shouldn’t want to surprise them with it either.) No big deal, I say, come to terms with the fact that while your guy absolutely loves hooking up with you, he will still want to look at porn. It’s just a different outlet for their sexuality and can actually improve your sex life when seen from the right perspective. Additionally, it’s a good substitute for when your boyfriend wants to get it on (always) and you don’t (rarely, but it happens). If there were no porn there would be an abnormally high amount of blue balls or of extremely exhausted girlfriends. Read More »

I am an expert in awkward situations. When I first meet people, more often than not, I leave a horrible first impression. I am similarly awkward in my attempts to be a part of the dating scene.

Just last week, a coworker exclaimed, “Kathryn, you have no game. Your entire approach is off!” Yes, this is true. But somehow, I still get some action, which is why she followed her (rather harsh) declaration with the question, “How do you do it?”

Still, no matter how many times I’ve immediately wished I could retract the bizarre statement that just came out of my mouth, I’ve also been with, or had friends who have been with, equally hopeless guys.

Reviewing my own traumatic events, as well as some of my friends’ bizarre sexual encounters, I’ve compiled a list of some of the worst things to say during sex. Because I’m a woman, they are written from a female perspective, but each of these can be just as cringe-worthy coming from a guy.

1. “Ohhhh, Michael… I mean… Dan?”

Make sure you know the name of the person you’re inviting past the pearly gates. Calling someone by another name will at once crush your partner’s ego and make you look sleazy. Once, I was hooking up with a guy and he proceeded to pour out his feelings for another girl… and try to get my advice on how to go about courting her. That really sucked, and he was pissed when I cut our session short. Read More »

Lots of action movies suck. Sure, some of them are worth their $20 million plus budgets, but most are products of testosterone, half-baked skills, and a complete miscalculation of how stupid the movie-going audience is.

So yes, lots of action movies suck, but every once in a while, there comes along a film so sh*tastic that it makes movies like Swordfish seem like Citizen freaking Kane. The Day After Tomorrow is one of those sh*tastic sh*t fests. In fact, I think The Day After Tomorrow is probably the worst movie that has been made in the last 6 years (and yes, I’m lumping in SuperBabies: Baby Geniuses 2). Need proof? Here’s a list.

5th Reason This Movie Blows: Lame 2 Syllable Or Less Names

Let’s run through a short cast of characters, shall we? Jack Hall, Sam Hall, Lucy Hall, Jason, Frank, J.D, and Brian. I mean, where’s John Johnson? Bob Smith? Usually, I don’t give a flying eff about character names, but when you have people saying each other’s names every.other.second, the exhaustingly uncreativeness starts to eat away at you.

4th Reason This Movie Blows: Nobody Cares About Their Damn Family (Except the Angelic Hall Family Who Are So Angelic They Might Be Decedents Of Jesus)

So, if you’ve never seen this movie I’m about to ruin it for you…not like there’s much to ruin…but basically, thirty minutes into the film the earth flips out for no reason and sh*t gets majorly destroyed and the top half of the U.S is frozen over. There’s a few people taking refuge in the Manhattan Public library (including Sam Hall [Jake Gyllenhaal acting his ass off to make his character interesting], his love interest, some friends, and a few randoms), and when they realize that most of the nation is destroyed…they’re kind of upset and stuff, but that’s about it. Read More »