There’s a lot of cultural stigma attached to small penises. They’re not considered attractive. We mock guys who aren’t well-endowed and consider them less desirable than guys who are more blessed. A lot of a guy’s perceived masculinity is tied up in the size of his junk, which is just utterly absurd. It’s not like a dude has any choice in the matter, and it’s not like a small penis is some sort of moral failing. Yet, a small penis is almost seen as some sort of a character flaw, and indicative of a guy’s sexual prowess. A lot of this has to do with our narrow-minded focus on p-in-v (when really, size is but one piece of the intercourse puzzle).

There are benefits to hooking up with someone who is smaller. He has more incentive to be creative, more giving, and more open-minded. It’s likely that, as a result of his anxiety over his size, that he’s learned the art of pleasing his partners in other ways, whether it’s through massages, oral and manual stimulation, or certain positions. Moreover, giving oral is a lot easier to a guy who’s only 4 inches or so (I once encountered a guy who was somewhere in that vicinity, and it was totally refreshing to be able to easily fit the length of a penis in my mouth with no effort). There are a lot of reasons my thing with that guy was short-lived, but his size had absolutely nothing to do with it. Reducing sex to “p repeatedly goes in and out of v” is such a juvenile way to approach sexuality. I’d much rather take the guy who’s tiny but attentive than a dude who thinks his “Mr. Big” is the end-all and be-all.

Why is it that we ascribe so much value to traits that we have no control over? Similar to big breasts, big members are lauded, and I fail to see why. It’s not like anyone really has much of a choice over the size of most parts of their bodies, barring invasive surgeries. It would be far more interesting if we could focus more on the parts of our sexuality that we actually have agency over. Then again, breeding massive inferiority complexes about things we can’t do anything about is one of our society’s favorite past-times…

[Lead image via pressureUA/Shutterstock]

As evolved and politically correct as we like to think we are, the fact remains that stereotypes are stereotypes for a reason. Sure, many stereotypes are outdated, sexist and downright silly, but there are a few stereotypes that still hold truth. Deny it though they might, most men are guilty of the following…

They suck at texting.

Either they don’t text back, or they do…a week later. Or you’ll get an annoyingly succinct answer that does nothing to carry the conversation, such as ‘k’. Gentlemen, a single letter does not constitute a meaningful reply. How am I meant to read volumes into a single letter? When you replied to my ‘I’ll see you tomorrow’ with a ‘k’… what did that even mean? Are you looking forward to seeing me tomorrow? Is seeing me tomorrow a potential blight on your otherwise awesome day? Hell, even a ‘k ‘ would placate me. Meanwhile, I’m writing a novella for each text, carrying the conversation and feeling really damn annoying for doing so.

They don’t talk about their feelings.

Men are emotionally inarticulate. While a woman can enumerate her woes and describe the barely tangible difference between the multiple layers of despair we feel on a regular basis, men seem to be barely capable of muttering “I’m just a bit pissed off, okay?” Instead, they withdraw emotionally and negotiate their woes in the deep, dark recesses of their minds. This is infuriating for women, who want to know what’s wrong so that they can talk about it. Mutual incomprehension makes no one happy, so don’t even try. Perhaps it’s best to just let men stew in sullen silence for a while until they get over it.

They are obsessed with the size of their penis.

How does it compare to your ex? Was he bigger than me? What about [random guy you slept with]? Is mine big enough? I just think it’s too small… Look, get the hell over it; I don’t really care. It’s not the size, it’s how you use it. I have encountered penises of many sizes, and the biggest was not the best. It’s all in the technique. Anyway, you’re just being paranoid, your penis is perfectly normal. Trust me.

Deep down, they don’t want a girlfriend, they want a replacement mother.

Boys want a girlfriend who will cook and clean for them, organise their lives and buy their shoes and shirts. Oh alright, their are a few wildly radical men who will take charge of these things on their own, but the stereotypical grown-up man-child is a stereotype for a reason. Sometimes, men seem as helpless as babes in the woods when confronted by insurmountable tasks such as cleaning a bathroom. They’d much rather a woman take charge of these scary necessities, just like their mothers’ did.

They love boobs.

Maybe it’s oedipal, but hey, I don’t blame you. Boobs are amazing. Obsess all you like.

They find toilet humour amusing.

Farts, poo, piss and semen. Wildly, wildly hilarious… if you have a Y chromosome, that is. Oh I won’t deny that I’ll giggle at off-colour jokes as much as the next person, but some ‘humour’ is inescapably disgusting and not remotely funny.

They all think they’re funny.

I know you think you’re hilarious, but not everyone can be Billy Connolly/Ricky Gervais/Jimmy Carr and, frankly, not everyone should even try to be them. Engage in some self-reflection — are you The Funny Guy, or are you The Annoying Guy Who Thinks He’s Funny But Really Isn’t?

They just don’t get women.

As a wise man once said ‘bitches be crazy’. Yeah, we are crazy, we own that, but that’s just how it is. It’s okay, you don’t actually need to understand women, because you are likewise incomprehensible to us. Women just don’t get men, either. Mars and Venus and all that jazz. But isn’t that part of what makes it all so much fun? Right?

Want to see what He Says are the most accurate stereotypes about women? Check it out on COEDMagazine.com!

Raquel is a Wellingtonian and an Art History graduate. When she’s not studying to be a teacher, she’s downing coffee and reading the autobiographies of people much more amazing than her. You can follow her on twitter @raquel_marty.

Naturally, while I was flipping through it, my area was under a freaking tornado watch, so the first half of this issue was great for escapism purposes. It was light on text and heavy on the pretty, although I could have done without the 5 pages of Royal Wedding coverage. I’m not generally one to be swoon over celebrity weddings, but my indifference intensifies when the celebrities are as boring as Will and Kate. Seriously, beyond their hair (what happened to his? How is hers always so shiny?), they are the least fascinating celebs ever. Hit me up when Kim Kardashian finally finds a husband.

But anyway, moving into the second half of the magazine, as per usual, Glamour hits us with the more substantial articles – ones about female teachers being falsely accused of having sex with students (pro tip: if you ever become a high school teacher, never text your students), the scary toxins that are wrecking our hormonal balances (everything. Build thyself a plastic bubble), and an “expose” on strip clubs (some guys want to have sex with strippers and some guys don’t…durr).

Obviously, the goldmine of this issue was The Ultimate Penis Guide, which consists of 6 items all guys wish we ladies knew. So let’s get learning, shall we?

Glamour says: The average penis measures between 3.5-4 inches at rest and between 5-6 inches aroused.
Jasmine says: I think more men need to be aware of this than women.

Glamour says: Most men experience erections in the REM phase of sleep just before waking up. They’re involuntary reflexes.
Jasmine says: I think this is a subtle promo for morning BJs. And, like, I get it. Who doesn’t like receiving head? But, seriously, blow jobs are work. Who wants to do work first thing in the morning? I can barely muster the energy to wash my face before 10:00am.

Glamour says: A healthy penis needs rest after sex.
Jasmine says: Sure. But what does that have to do with his hand and/or mouth? Just sayin’.

Glamour says: The penis is not designed to be turned or twisted.
Jasmine says: Now if only someone would put that memo out to guys in regards to nipples.

Glamour says: Little flesh colored dots around the rim of the penis are normal.
Jasmine says: Oh, god. I cannot keep track of all the things that are normal and are not normal down there. I wish Mother Nature had color coded that shiz for us.

Glamour says: If using your hands, remember the glans (the head of the penis, which has the highest concentration of nerve endings).
Jasmine says: It’s okay not to give the best HJ; they’re passe and in most circles went out in 10th grade anyway.

To see even more funny fun times from everyone’s favorite fashion/lifestyle magazine, click here!

You know how people are always making generalizations about men and their sexual prowess based entirely on cultural stereotypes? Well, someone finally got tired of it. In what I can only assume was an attempt to put all those rumors to rest (or a very interesting way to procrastinate doing real work), someone actually did a study to determine which nations were the most well endowed.

Ladies, I present to you The World Map of Penises. You can see the map here or head on over to the original site of this discovery for a larger version.  The U.S. falls somewhere right in the mid range, but China falling is short . (Haha.) And as for which country is the most well endowed? Well…

Anyone else suddenly planning a trip to Sudan?

But morning lovin’ isn’t the only thing I’m confused about; I think everything related to sex turns my mind to mush. And just when I’ve stopped trying to figure out what guys are thinking and finally come to terms with the fact that dudes and chicks think differently about sex and emotions, I find out that maybe we’re all not so different after all. I mean, who knew that guys are often worse than us ladies when it comes to Facebook stalkin‘ potential booty/lovers/significant others?

Hello, curve ball. Thanks for making things worse.

But with all that said, maybe trying to understand guys is pointless. A waste of time and energy. Especially when they seem so set on being mysterious and confusing. Maybe there really is no trick to getting what you want. Perhaps, starting a relationship is easier than we thought…and like usual we’re over-thinking everything.

Of course you think you know everything about sex.  You’re a liberated, intelligent college woman, right?  And you’ve done your research; you know what’s what.  Well, guess what?  There’s always room for a little extra know-how, and we’ve compiled the ultimate resource on everything you need to know about sex.  Take notes, you just might learn a new fact or two.

1. How not to become a Baby Mama
The birth control method you might be using that…(wait for it)…doesn’t work 27% of the time.

2. Not all men are created equal
Is there such a thing as too big?  Too small?  Maybe a little…stubby?  With this visual guide you can tell if your man’s more a shower or a grower…or maybe a “soda can”.

3. It should last how long?
Apparently wishing for a guy who can go all night long isn’t what we need.  15 minutes max is what the pros recommend, and in reality, most couples spend less than seven minutes on intercourse.

4. It’s good to have a friend…with benefits.
Science says having someone with whom you can experiment, but have no emotional tie to, is actually a fabulous thing for your sex life.

5. It shouldn’t hurt
But if it does, this might be your problem…

6. Forget your numbers
If age and weight get to be “just numbers”, so can that other set of pesky numbers.  How many people you’ve slept with is irrelevant when it comes to these other important items on your sexual resume.

7. Know what men want
Because, you know.  Sometimes they just don’t fess up like they should.  But seriously, let’s take the guesswork out of sex already.

8. Know what you want
From a professional male porn star, this tip tops his list for what makes a woman great in bed.  Check out what other pearls of wisdom he has to offer.

9. Speaking of porn…
Ladies, let’s have some realistic expectations, shall we?  Like some sexy fireman would ever come to your door to “help put that fire out”.  And if he did, the fantasy would not last the duration of a feature film.

10. Avoid mood killers.
Miley Cyrus does not belong on a sex playlist.  Onion rings are not a romantic dinner.  And these ten bedroom snafus need to be avoided by all costs.

BONUS #11. Old people have sex.
Just because you graduate college and the options become less plentiful doesn’t mean that you can’t still have amazing sex.

Would you tell him if he has a small…thingy

She owes her plastic surgeon major moola

5 droolworthy bags

Does your number matter?

Not really digging this fashion challenge

What she learned dating women

Someone’s all grown up!

He continues to be a horrible person

“It’s not the size of the boat, it’s the motion of the ocean” – that’s the saying, anyway. But with the new season of Hung and the start of The Hard Times of RJ Berger, it seems like having a big dick is still a big deal – in entertainment-land anyway. The question is, does it really count for that much in the real world? Some of us have already weighed in on this age old issue, but all it takes is one look at the comments to see that we’re still a little divided.

In some ways, I think that for us, having a guy with a big ”pink oboe” (seriously, go Google “penis synonyms,” definite entertainment) is kind of the equivalent of the hot-twin-threesome fantasy guys have – it sounds hot in our minds, but probably isn’t nearly as awesome in real life. It’s gotten built up over the years through jokes and porn and since most of us have probably only had – or will have - experience with men in the average-size range, it has become a big fantasy thing that a huge” disco stick” is going to fulfill all of your sexual needs. In reality, sexual prowess has a lot more to do with skill than size…

…Up to a point. Sorry boys, hate to say it, but I think most of us (if we’re being brutally honest) can agree that size does matter, at least a little bit. It’s kind of like being in the NBA – once you’re tall enough to match the other players, it doesn’t really matter if you’re 6’4″ or 6’10,” that’s when skills start to come in to play; but you probably aren’t going to be shooting hoops with the pros if you’re only 5’6″. And you have to admit, most stereotypes do get started for a reason, so it’s not such a stretch (God, don’t go there) to think that maybe a big “love muscle” might really be good.

Time to sound off, girls! Do you really care what caliber a guy is packing or does marksmanship matter more (did that metaphor just fall apart?)? Is the big “beef whistle” thing just hype or do we just not know what we’re missing?

Duke it out!

Is it April yet?
OK, it was only just Mardi Gras this week. Clearly I’m getting too ahead of myself.

In the meantime, here are some interesting points to chew on:

- While Spring Break is inching closer and you are hitting the tanning beds for that ideal bikini base-tan (hello, beer in Mexico!) you may want to keep this in mind.

- Men let their penis insecurities get in the way of safety and birth control. True story.

- Oh Cosmopolitan, you say some pretty ridiculous things sometimes; it’s amazing some of us can still rope in a man.

- Is smiling a required accessory?

- It is time to spice up your accessories, and who knew it could be so easy and cheap!

- Does college really determine the Political Views tab on your Facebook profile?

- Rpatz is allergic to vaginas? Well, we’re allergic to bulls**t and Mr. Pattinson is making our throats a little itchy…

- We’ve all had our share of  traveling down D-bag Avenue, but this list will make you feel like it was a two way street.

- Speaking of D-bag Avenue, do you miss the man living on it, or the the relationship it entailed?

- And when things ended, did you find yourself struggling with returning his things?

- Recently, John Mayer decided to dispose some pretty personal info between him and J. Simpson’s sexy time. I know of some other things that do not need to be shared with the class.

And that’s a wrap (up).
It’s Friday, and that calls for Happy Hour with the girlfriends and a little Olympics Drinking Game action. Have a great weekend!

This year, Valentine’s Day kicks off National Condom Week (coincidence? I think not), and it’s time to give these little rubbers the appreciation they deserve! I mean really, what would life be without them (besides there being a lot more episodes of Teen Mom...)?

We (and by “we” I mean “our boyfriends”) tend to look at condoms as a nuisance that take away from the pleasure of lovemaking, so I’m here to bring you a list of crazy condoms that will make using protection fun! (As if safe sex isn’t fun enough already…)

Political Statement Condoms – In honor of us young people becoming more aware of politics since the 2008 election, we bring you Obama and McCain condoms! Featuring witty double entendres and portraits of the candidates, they’re the perfect BC for those who are both politically and sexually active.  Just be warned- things could get awkward if you and your guy both whip out opposing-candidate condoms.  For some, party affiliation is a deal breaker.

Tuxedo Condoms – Introducing the tuxedo condom, for all of your black-tie events!  Getting your guy to dress nice may be no easy feat, but at least you can get achieve a touch (or taste) of formality in the bedroom.

The Condometric – Finally, a condom that kills two birds with one stone: protection AND measurement. Stop the speculation and find out how many inches he’s packing before letting him into your love tunnel.  Best of all, make these your preferred brand and you can compare him to your previous and future love (and lust) makers.

Glow in the Dark -  To me, there’s nothing more hilarious than turning off all the lights and seeing nothing but a neon green penis flying around (like a glowstick at a rave!).  For nights when you feel a bit Jersey Shore-ish, there’s the Love Light Technosex.  Go ahead, blast the house music, beat up the beat, and slip this on for a night of silly, glowy fun.

Fun Flavored Condoms – From our favorite fruit, to chocolate, to giving HARD liquor a whole new meaning (ha ha), there’s a flavored condom out there for everybody.

Remember, you ARE supposed to use condoms for oral sex, and with a condom that tastes like hot cocoa, why wouldn’t you?

Trojan Her Pleasure Ecstasy Condoms – Okay, so I have yet to try these (I don’t want to talk about it, OK?), but you’ve seen the commercials, people!  These new condoms claim to have a new, more secure fit so you both feel the pleasure, not the rubber. If that’s not something you can enjoy, I don’t know what is.

Happy humping, everyone!