I had him. And I pushed him away.

I moved to New York City for an internship a few months ago, completely unattached for the first time in what felt like forever. I was so happy to be living in one of the most exhilarating places on earth, independent and ready to have the best time of my life. I didn’t come to the city looking for anyone or anything, just to experience NYC in it’s fullest. I had no intention of dating. In fact, after the year I’d had, it was the last thing on my mind.

Of course, it’s always when you’re not looking that you find someone.

He was ideal in every way. Ivy league grad, held a great job, sweet, very athletic, great looking and he even liked decent music. Not to mention he took me out on real dates (not just guest swiping me into a dining hall), tried to kiss me in public, held my hand… he did everything right. Hell, he even extended his texting plan because I told him I preferred texting to phone calls.

But no matter what, I just couldn’t put my guard down. I flinched when he tried to kiss me in front of people and cringed when he started referring to us as “in a relationship.” I was still single on Facebook; didn’t that mean anything?

The more time we spent together, the further I pulled away. Maybe it was a function of our age difference, but I started to question if there was something wrong with me. I liked spending time with him and everything, but I wasn’t ready to be his girlfriend. After all the a-holes I’d been with who cheated on me, lied to me, used and under-appreciated me, you’d think I’d be jumping for joy for this guy. On the contrary, I was terrified. I didn’t and do not want a boyfriend and I’m not interested in experiencing committal at age 21. Words like “girlfriend” and “relationship” strike fear into my heart. Read More »

Somtimes, this is a better alternative.

You’ve been working your game all night, leaning in just enough to show off the magic that is your Victoria’s Secret Deep Plunge push-up bra. Your hair is perfect, your makeup is flawless and you’ve done your signature laugh-and-touch-his-arm move every time he’s said something cute and funny.

Now you’re just waiting for him to lean in and kiss those perfectly glossed lips.

You like this boy; every last thing about him. He’s got the same major as you, you have mutual friends, he wears really great jeans and he even watches The Hills. Could there be anyone more perfect!? You’ve been dreaming about kissing him since the moment you met him and now you’re so almost there. He’s ditched his friends to talk to you in the corner of the party for the last half hour, so you’re pretty much sure this makeout sesh is in the bag.

After screaming into each other’s ears over the “Put It In The Bag” blaring from the speakers, he asks you if you want to go outside to get some air. The butterflies in your stomach start jumping around in excitement. Coyly, you agree to go.

He takes your hand (swoon!) and leads you outside. Your knees are trembling, but you pull yourself together and follow him through the crowd.  Once outside, you begin to shiver. Not because it’s cold, but because you just know he’s going to kiss you and you’re at once nervous and excited. Read More »

Fact: Women don’t understand men.
Fact: For the past 6 months, I’ve attempted to get some answers from some men to help all the ladies out there truly understand what the eff those turds are thinking.
Fact: After seeing a guy for two months and being “dumped” via email (where he called me the wrong name), I’m still horribly confused.

While our resident guy gave some pretty sound advice, there are so many tricky situations we women find ourselves in with men on a daily basis. Situations that can’t be summed up in some general question about dating or life or fake boobs.

So, I went on a quest to find a man who can be our voice of reason when we need him most. Like when our crush isn’t returning our calls, or, I don’t know, a guy says he loves us but wants to take the relationship back a few notches. WTF? Read More »

When it comes down to love, I’m a picky jerk. Prince Charming can march his white horse right up to my doorstep with roses and I won’t answer the door because he’s not ‘challenging’ enough. Let me take a moment to recount the ‘problems’ with my most serious of lovers over the last few years.

Guy A didn’t pay enough attention to me.

Guy B paid too much attention to me.

Guy C wasn’t reliable enough but

Guy D just had his life way too planned out.

Guy E wasn’t smart enough while

Guy F wasn’t social enough.

And this is how it always works.

I know deep in my soul that if I ever wanted a relationship to really WORK, I’d have to stop expecting it to be perfect. I’d have to stop throwing in my cards whenever there’s an argument and I’d have to stop climbing up on my pedestal every time I’m offended by a guy.

And I think this is an issue that a lot of people deal with, especially women. It seems to me like guys don’t need too much from a girl to be satisfied. In fact, most of my guy friends would boil it down to: Not being a crazy b*tch, being good in bed, and…uh….not being a crazy b*tch. But for girls, I think it’s a whole different ball game.

He should be funny but not obnoxious, smart but not pretentious, strong but still sensitive, supportive but with his own life, sexy but not sex-oriented, loyal but not obsessive, stable but not predictable, outgoing but enjoy nights in…

Oh. Dear. God. Read More »