Jessica Simpson, Lauren Conrad, Justin Timberlake, Jes Whats-her-name from Rock of Love, Tila Tequila. What do all these people have in common besides pretty faces? Clothing lines of course!

It seems that every star and pseudo-star is coming out with more stuff for us to buy. You know you want to smell like Britney Spears (booze and cigarettes?) and of course we all need some Lauren Conrad boots. You can even buy Jessica Simpson hair extensions.

Every single celeb has something to sell, and we need to stop them. Immediately. Half the ladies from Rock of Love seem to be announcing clothing line launches. Mia and Jes have ties in Chii Clothing Culture which consists of cheesy t-shirts and hoodies. Nothing very interesting, but certainly helping extend their fifteen minutes of fame.

Jessica Simpson’s clothing line “Sweet Kisses” is exactly what is sounds like. Whore clothes for nice girls. Please don’t let your daughters leave the house wearing this stuff. Unless you are Joe Simpson, then you may use your daughter for your financial gain as much as you please.

Lauren Conrad’s line consists of what I like to refer to as “the bag dress,” and cheaply made scarves and shawls. These things aren’t exactly bargains, although maybe in Lauren Conrad’s world they are. You can also buy 45 dollar leggings. I wonder how long LC had to study in design school to create black leggings. Ugh, my contempt grows. Read More »

So, remember Vulva?

The questionable demand to smell…questionable is apparently, alive and well. In addition to smelling like a random va-jay, we can all spritz on something quite the opposite.

Thanks to Tom Ford, now we can emit the scent of a man’s crotch! Mmm…

Imagine waking up, taking a shower, feeling refreshed and ready for the day–but not before spraying on a little eau de crotch! Man, designers can make anything trendy.

But that’s not the only foray into fragrance Ford has made. If wanting to sniff genetials all day isn’t enough for you, it seems as though Ford’s also released a scent reminiscent of, get this, cocaine.

If anything, buying a 50 mL bottle of his new “Black Orchid” for $165 is way cheaper than importing the real thing from Colombia. Perhaps it’s the perfect scent for the coke-head gone clean! Read More »

Mariah and Diddy are going head to head. Or should I say, smell to smell.

After Puffy’s (can we call him that anymore?) new fragrance Unforgivable hit the market (along with his unforgivably raunchy and illicit ad campaign) he issued a challenge to all his lady counterparts in the fragrance biz:

“I send out a challenge…I challenge all of my female counterparts that have fragrances…that my fragrance is better than theirs. I’m a man and I know how women should smell!”

Well, Hallelujah! A man that finally knows how I should smell.

Because, god forbid, I smell anything like I do at the present moment, which would be unshowered, with a slight scent of BBQ sauce from the hours I spent working last night. Oh! AND I’m pretty gassy because I drank too much when I got off work!

How’s that for lady smells, PUFF DADDY?? Read More »

You know when you walk into your dorm room and get a little skeeved out because it’s like, real obvious someone just had sex in there?

Well, apparently, there are people who want that slight but noticeable smell around them at all times.

Vulva Original (I’m not joking) is one of the newest sexual oddities to hit the market.

Its developers insist Vulva “is not a perfume”. Instead, they describe their product as “a beguiling vaginal scent which is purely a substance for your own smelling pleasure.”

Ew.

Developed in Germany, where a “research team” is working on complimenting the original scent with two new smells, “Exotic” and “Eighteen” (I mean, Jesus!).

Vulva Original doesn’t have much media surrounding it besides an explicit website with lots of vague references to sex. Read More »

• If sex toys are so taboo in Dubai couldn’t they have just brought the sausage? (Reuters)

• Note to Courtney Love: You use perfume so you don’t smell like booze and cigarettes. Thanks anyway! (azcentral.com)

• I know globes, NASA, science, and common f*cking sense can confuse a girl, but damn Sherri Shepherd is dumb. (You Tube)

• If you ask me, this guy should be flattered. (BBC News)

• Today was International Pirate Day! Get some last-minute inspiration from the wonderful guys at CoEd Magazine! (CoEd Magazine)

I have so many issues with this one, I don’t even know where to begin. So here goes nothing.

P-Diddy the Perfume? WTF??? Ok, technically it’s Sean John, but P-Diddy is Sean John- so still I say WTF? – Double WTF???

Is there really a girl out there that is going to buy this sh*t… let alone wear it? I can smell it now… hundreds of fat-backed, skank-ass, halter top-wearing honeys packing the 40 /40 club donning Diddy’s “fresh” new scent- I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.

I can only imagine it smells a bit like the enclosed storefront ATM by my apartment that a homeless man has conveniently made his own personal restroom… with a hint of “Meadows & Rain” Febreze.

Personal taste aside, MTV has refused to air the ads for P-Diddy’s unforgiveable fragrance “Unforgiveable Women” by Sean John. Although MTV has declined to comment, Puffy says the spots were “deemed too provocative and too sexual for television with cable network executives reportedly demanding the erotic content be edited.”

There is no question the ads are a bit on the racy side, but certainly no more sexually offensive than MTV’s Spring-Break and Real World gropefests. The reality of the situation is the ads are as pungent as the perfume itself… they just stink. Take a look for yourself.

See the ad after the jump. Read More »

Tom Ford, the wunderkind designer who saved Gucci from going bankrupt way back when, is credited as being one of the most influential fashion gods of the last decade. He’s done a lot of things, including becoming creative director of Yves Saint Laurent a few years ago, and being named best International Designer at the first VH1/Vogue Awards in New York in 2000.

He claims to sleep about 3 hours a night, is quoted as saying things like, “The YSL (Yves Saint Laurent) woman might tie her boyfriend up and drip hot wax on him before they have sex, for instance. The Gucci woman is just going to have sex”, and originally went to school to be an actor.

Oh yeah, he also sells perfume by photographing it in between a naked woman’s thighs. Read More »

Though I love perfume and wear it every day, I’ve never been a “signature scent” kinda girl. I’ve never been able to find a fragrance that’s unmistakably me, probably because perfume to me is a part of my outfit just like anything else, and I choose it just like I choose between stiletto heels and comfy flats, or red lipstick and nude gloss when I’m getting ready.

But I’ve managed to narrow down my collection to my top four. Here they are:

For dancing ‘til dawn: Nanette Lepore Shanghai Butterfly

With notes of sandalwood, Jasmine, and Siberian musk, Shanghai Butterfly is a really romantic, exotic scent—a perfect accessory to that little black dress. This is probably one of my favorites because it packs such a punch and is so unique—I get comments from men and women almost every time I wear it. Read More »