Lesson 20: Take a personal time-out.

So, you’re single, huh? Maybe it’s time to reevaluate whether or not you’ve really taken advantage or it. I know what you’re thinking, “What could I possibly have to take advantage of besides the sale on single serving frozen vegetables?” And while I fully support fulfilling your five servings a day, I think it’s time to branch out. Alone.

This past Saturday morning, it was a particularly gorgeous sunny day in my city and I knew I wanted to spend it outside. I called the guy I’ve been seeing recently and asked him if he wanted to tag along but his hangover had the best of him (over the toilet) so I wished him luck and decided to hit a local greenbelt solo. With my iPod, a Nalgene water bottle and time on my hands I wandered down the trails and couldn’t help but feel like I never wanted it to end.

As incredibly cheese-tastic as it sounds, Mumford and Sons serenaded me as my inner child took pure joy in the simple act of climbing on rocks and laying the grass alone. I got a chance to get back to myself which is really important because when you’re single that really is all you have – yourself.

It blows my mind that single girls are conditioned to spend so much time with others, with their girlfriends or out on dates, because that time and energy could just as easily be spent on themselves. Being single is all about finding a balance, but most of the time we forget to implant ourselves in that balance. Instead we tell ourselves we can use the 15 minutes between classes to get our lives together and then we wonder why our lives crumble and burn around us.

Taking time for your self is not the same as taking time by yourself. Somewhere along the way single women picked up a stigma that going out alone as though it’s an embarrassment. Don’t bind yourself to the confines of your couch and Chelsea Lately. As much as going out in public alone may make you reach for your Secret clinical strength deodorant, it can be a really empowering thing as a single chick.

If you’re just starting out, I suggest hitting a local trail with earphones or a dog if you have one. Not only is it totally normal to hit a trail alone, it’s incredibly refreshing to get off campus and get your mind off all of the little annoying things that bog you down during the week, like your roommate’s delusional hipster boyfriend.

Take advantage of Groupon deals at casual restaurants and sit at the bar for a quick bite or linger at a table and catch up on the latest issue of Cosmopolitan. Whatever you choose to do be sure to tuck your cell phone in your purse. This is your chance to totally disconnect from everyone in your life to really just focus on yourself for a while and the time you spend clinging onto your Blackberry is no different from the time you spend with your girls.

So go on and get out there, don’t be nervous or embarrassed, it’s just as much your world as it is a couples’ world!

Got it? Now get the first 19 rules of the Single Girl Society right here.

See ya later, Single Status!

It’s weird how it happens. One day you’re screaming “THIS IS MY SONG!” every time “Single Ladies” comes on at the bar, and the next…well, you’re doing the same thing, but it’s not actually true. After just over two years of being the most single person on the planet, I actually took the dive. It happened really unexpectedly with a cute acquaintance I have known for years. We started talking a little more, and things took off out of nowhere.

I used to want to jack people in the face when they said, “When you stop looking for a boyfriend, you’ll get one.” And even though that is exactly what happened, that’s still really annoying advice. I think I hate it largely because it takes the situation out of your hands; as if you have to be in some sort of cosmic state of perfect personal balance just to get a damn date. I think a better way to phrase the advice is this:

Beating yourself up over not having a boyfriend or becoming depressed that “there’s no one out there” isn’t going to make your perfect mate appear out of thin are. There are times when 5 guys ask you out in a week, and there are times when your only male interaction for months is with your Environmental Science professor (hopefully not the wrong kind of interaction…). You can control your love life, but only to a certain extent. You don’t completely control who you meet, when you meet them, or (even as much as we try) how they feel about you.

I think what these crappy advice givers mean to say is if you can be happy without a boyfriend, you won’t turn your love life into the biggest stress-sesh since applying to grad school. Hello, school is pressure, work is pressure, your parents are pressure…dating shouldn’t be. It’s not going into your GPA, so live a little. There are perks to being single, and there are perks to being coupled, so exploit what you have. Learning to enjoy your status no matter what it may be is the biggest breakthrough for women since the water bra; both help you work with what you’ve got.

While I do really dig my guy, I’m going to admit it: I already miss being single. My single friends glare at me when I say this, but I mean it. Look, just one week after finally taking the plunge into exclusivity, I met a super hot grad student from NYU while I was out (I’m pretty sure the relationship Gods were testing me). I couldn’t give him my number. It was more traumatizing for me than when my first goldfish died. So the next time you’re blubbering about flying solo, just remember; you get to mack on anyone and everyone, and you don’t have to shave your legs everyday. Love the perks while you can!

[Since Dannia went and got herself a man, we're lookin' for a new Single Lady. If you know someone who's living up the single life, have her send an email to editor@collegecandy.com. We want to share her experiences with the world.]