I would have never dated me three or four years ago. Sure, I was lovely in most ways and I was a catch in most ways, but there was one little thing about dating that I just didn’t get: being friends after the breakup.

When my heart was broken before, I knew exactly how to manipulate the story to victimize myself and follow up with passionate vengeance. I never even gave a guy a fair chance to break up with me without it being ugly. And looking back on that, it makes me thoroughly sad.

These days, I understand relationships as more than ultimatums or pending doom and broken heartedness. Now I get it.

If I was that close to a guy before, close enough to let him be the only boy I would even kiss, he must have had something to contribute to the world and my life more than sex, right? Right. So why would I cut all of those positive things out of my life just because we made a decision to end the intimacy?

Upon realizing just how much I was giving up when I cut off all ties with my exes, I began changing my ways. I am now friends with all of my exes; yes, every last one. I have rebuilt the bridges I burned and, in fact, just hopped on a plane last month to go visit my most recent ex. As a FRIEND. And we had a great time!

When you are of the mentality that you can’t be friends with a dude after you break up, you are already hindering your relationship. You are already screwing up its natural course of growth and making aspects of the relationship ugly that don’t need to be. Damning your post-breakup relationship to Hell is not only immature, but it’s sad; if you liked a guy enough to date him, you should like him enough to be there for him when you’re done dating one another. Read More »

Beyond the excessively bloody scenes of last nights episode, there were some serious personal realizations amongst our favorite hospital staff — most of which were centered around some kind of loss. Whether it be the loss of a patient or significant other, everyone seemed to be seeing things a little more clearly.

I guess we all saw the Izzie/George thing coming. (I mean I totally predicted that would be over within a few episodes.) I did, however, expect Izzie to do the breaking-off, not little Georgie. Although I’m deeply relieved that they finally called it quits (because of how painfully apparent it was that they weren’t going to work out), they did both lose their best friend, which is kind of sad.

Then we have McDreamy and Mere Mere. This has been one long ass rollercoaster of committment issues, confusion, and emotional unavailability (to name a few) and you’d think I’d be happy that Derek is finally realizing how Merideth really can’t give him everything he wants. But I’m not, I’m more like, “Noooo, Derek! She’s finally coming to her senses and seeing what an amazing catch (yes, I said catch) you are. Don’t give up now!”

Then again, Merideth realizing that she doesn’t want her Doctor seeing other ladies might be a short-lived wish, since we know how indecisive she is. I dunno, I couldn’t help but feel like my father is cheating on my mother when I saw Derek locking lips with that Rose chick. I mean come on! I’m not ready for this saga to be over. Read More »

I hate Heidi. Everything about her from her fake face/boobs to her super shiny and bouncy blonde hair. Oh, and her giant teeth.

Yet even I, president of the I Hate Heidi and Fake Face/Boobs and Super Shiny and Bouncy Blonde Hair and Big Teeth club feel drawn to her this week. There is something about the sheer douchiness of Spencer that makes Heidi look, well, good.

Last night’s episode of The Hills made Heidi look like an actual responsible and semi-intelligent adult. For the first time in our long and tumultuous history, Heidi actually seemed to be taking her job seriously.

No more “I wanna get paid for doing nothing.” The Future Mrs. Pratt is actually putting her personal life on hold for the sake of her serious new position. And I can’t help but respect that. I also can’t help but notice that she is working longer hours than me. And that makes me feel like less of a person.

What happened to old Heidi? You know, skip out on work to get lunch Heidi. Or drop out of fashion school after one day Heidi. I know one person who misses her: Whiny, Bitchy Spencer. (Sidenote: I kinda miss her too. She is so much more fun when you can really hate her.) Read More »

Since I seem to have shared everything else with the readers of College Candy lately I thought it was only appropriate to update you on one more aspect of my personal life. Remember that boy I blue balled? Well, after two months of dating things have come to an end.

I don’t know if you know this, but I am a pretty funny girl. Don’t believe me? Maybe you should re-read some of my greatest articles (here’s one). I told you so.

Anyways, this boy never laughed at my jokes. But maybe that’s because he was never listening to a word I was saying and was simply waiting for the opportunity to tell his own stories. Which, I must add, were never funny. Despite that huge drawback, though, he was good to me; he bought me flowers and brought me coffee in the morning when he knew I was sleepy. He was a nice guy and it was just so hard to end things with such a nice guy.

Until he started being a not-so-nice guy. Read More »