Last Tuesday, passengers aboard a Spirit Airlines jet flying from New York to Florida had a bit more to deal with than those impossible-to-open peanut bags.

Seems one of their fellow travelers had decided it was totally okay for him to shove a monkey into his hat and bring it aboard.

The strange, strange man, who had originally departed from Lima, Peru, somehow managed to hide the tiny creature “inside his ponytail” and underneath his cap while he boarded the plane, his cover blown only after the animal climbed out of it’s hiding place halfway through the trip.

This story obviously begs a few questions:

First, just how big was the man’s ponytail, and why did no one notice there was a monkey in it?

Second, how come I’m forced to practically strip before I board a plane, but this dude managed to smuggle a living creature onboard underneath a hat?

Thirdly, what kind of monkey is small enough to stow away inside human hair?

Sadly, there are no answers, just a nagging desire to see this hat-monkey, and the unavoidable cuteness it most likely possesses.

Cameron Diaz

Over the weekend, she went to Machu Picchu in Peru’s Andes to make a TV appearance celebrating the culture in Peru. She was looking cute and travel-ready, in teal jogging pants, a violet scarf and a creme hat – very paparazzi-ready. But she failed to take into account that her bag would cause major controversy overseas, creating a fashion blunder gone really, really bad.

She carried one of those super trendy, canvas messenger bags with Chinese symbols on it. You know, cause it’s cool to have Chinese symbols on things and not know what they mean, cause you’re drunk or think it’s attractive and edgy or something.

Apparently, the symbols on her bag meant “Serve the People” – Chinese Communist leader Mao Zedong’s famous political slogan.

No big deal, right?

Well, it turns out that (guess history class did nothing for me either) “in Peru the slogan evokes memories of the Maoist Shining Path insurgency that fought the government in the 1980s and early 1990s in a bloody conflict that left nearly 70,000 people dead.”

In an email to the Associated Press, she wrote, “I sincerely apologize to anyone I may have inadvertently offended.  The bag was a purchase I made as a tourist in China and I did not realize the potentially hurtful nature of the slogan printed on it.”

Good one, Cameron. You go to Peru to honor the country and end up offending everyone who lives there. I know you thought your bag was “ethnic” and therefore fitting for the occasion, but, come on; you could have looked into it a little bit because it’s an accessory that has writing from another, completely different culture, maybe asked around, just to make sure? Maybe you could have actually looked into what those symbols meant before buying it and toting around like an dumbass?

For some one who thinks she’s so in touch with global issues, she sure screwed this one up.

Damn celebrities.