Think you might make a good hedge-mama? There are a few things you might want to know before you start picking out tiny little outfits (or leashes, or whatever.)

The basics: Hedgehogs are rumored to be great pets, they require no walks, live happily without a companion, and don’t need constant attention. While their prickly exteriors do not look very cuddly, their spikes feel more like a toothbrush than thousands of needles. Their life expectancy is anywhere from 3 to 8 years. The little critters prefer a warmer climate, that means if your place falls below 75-80 degrees your hedgie will get cold, (easily fixed by puting a heating pad under half the cage.)

Speaking of cage, since they are climbers as well as cuties the recommended habitat is a large clear Rubbermaid tub, with some air holes of course -not too big, they can crawl through anything as big as their head. Also, they are nocturnal, which is an ideal pet for students and professionals who spend their days out of the house. As for food, they are a relatively simple thing to feed, meal worms (gross) and/or cat food.

Now the real question: what kind of price can you put on these darling little hedgies? About $150, plus living expenses – food, room and board, and vet visits as needed.

Ready to be the first hedgehog parent on your block? Here are some more resources to help you find one and become the perfect proud momma:

www.hedgehogcentral.com

www.animalnetwork.com

www.hedgies.com

No fear; Olua is here with five of her favorite small-space-safe pets. I have owned or currently own all of these critters, so you’re getting stuff straight from the source here. I’ll lay out the setup, cost, and some of the infinite wisdom I’ve gained dealing with these little critters.

1. Betta (Siamese Fighting Fish): These are probably the most low-maintaince, toughest pets you could ever own, and come in about every gorgeous color of the rainbow. They’re easy to care for; all you need is a tank a MINIMUM of one gallon (contrary to popular belief, bettas don’t like living in small containers and enjoy having space to spread out their fins) and some fish food. I recommend Hikari’s Betta Bio-Gold.

You don’t need a filter, because bettas aren’t crazy about moving water, but you will need to change the water about once a week. Never ever use water straight from the faucet, since it has chlorine and that will give you a very dead fish. Collect water in a gallon bottle and keep open and it to the side, refilling it every time you change the water. A week is enough time for the chlorine to safely evaporate.

Females can be kept together, but males will fight like Britney cornered by paparazzi. Take good care of your fishy and he could be with you from four to five years. Tank and food included, these guys will run you a very affordable $20 – maybe a little more if you want to give them some decorations. BettaTalk is a great site run by an awesome girl who will tell you everything you ever wanted to know about bettas.

2. African Clawed Frog: Still on the aquatic side, these guys are so disgusting and ugly that they’re adorable. Xenopus laevis is their scientific name. They’re frogs that live underwater all the time, but you’re going to want a ten gallon tank for these guys.

Since they’re used so often for lab studies, they’re easy to find and pretty easy to care for. You’ll only be able to fit one female in a ten gallon tank, because they get BIG; I’m talking you probably couldn’t hold a whole female Xenopus in both of your hands. The males CAN live in the same tank together, though, and they ribbit! It sounds kind of like the nose dial-up makes, actually.

You’ll want to change about 70% of their water every week or every other week. They aren’t very pet-able, but they’re a lot of fun to watch. They also don’t really like filtration; in fact, it kind of freaks them out. They can last you about ten to fifteen years. To get a Xenopus, her tank, some food, and a place for her to hide will run you some $40. Here is a great place to get Xenopus and Xenopus products, and this guide will give you Freaky Frog 101.

3. Leopard Gecko: If you’re feeling a little more exotic, how about some out-of-water scales? Leopard Geckos are probably the BEST beginner’s reptile. They’re docile, easy to handle and rarely if ever bite. They run a little more on the expensive side, as you need a minimum of a ten gallon tank, a few decorations for them to climb over and hide under, as well as a heat lamp.

Once again, females can be kept together, but males can not. There’s also the fact that you need to feed them crickets…so if buggies aren’t your deal, just scroll down! These guys can live around ten to fifteen years, so make sure you REALLY want one before you get one. With all their equipment, geckos and their setup will run you around $100. After that, though, cost and care are pretty minimum. Here is an awesome little caresheet for leopard geckos that will tell you just about everything you need to know.

4. Rat: You know it’s the Chinese New Year, don’t you? You know that it’s the year of the Rat, don’t you? Well, why don’t you get one?

Now, don’t hate; rats are probably one of the least understood critters out there. Hands down, rats are my favorite small animal pet. They are FUN and are a lot like small dogs in their demeanor. You’ll want to get a young one, around two to four months of age, that way it will grow up with you. ALWAYS get two or more rats! They’re colony animals and get super depressed if they don’t have chill buddies. If you get two or more males in one cage, make sure they’re litter mates, or they’ll hate each other and you will go through hell trying to reconcile it (I speak from experience).

Females can be in a cage together without much trouble. While males are more cuddly and lazy, females love to play and run around. You can teach these guys tricks, litter train them, get them to come to their name, and all sorts of things. They’re omnivores, so they need a diet just about as varied as yours (minus the fries). A commercial diet supplemented with fruits, veggies, and the occasional chicken bone should suffice. Unfortunately, these guys only live between three to five years. They’re active, so they need big cages (try Dr. Foster and Smith ; expensive as all heck, but worth it). All together, these guys will run you around $120, but I swear to you that they are worth every penny. RattyRat has an amazing guide that will spare no details.

5. Ferret: Seriously, you can’t look at that face and tell me these things are not freaking adorable. If you want to get a feel for what having a ferret is like, imagine a clumsy two-month old kitten, stretch it out, and make it a bit stinkier. That is your average ferret.

I’ve had a single female without any problem, but a lot of people will tell you to get two; it really depends on how much time you want to spend with your little rascal. They need a LOT; a big cage, food (high quality dry cat food works just fine), and quite a bit of time. These guys are right on the border of having a small fairly carefree animal and having a cat or a dog. Ferrets aren’t for everyone, though; check out FerretCentral for any questions you might have about these guys. They will put you in the hole some $200, but they’re an enormous amount of fun.

Whew; that list was longer than I thought it’d be! Here’s hoping, though, that any of my ladies who are in sore need of an animal companion are helped out by this little tidbit. Do your research, make sure you can afford to have something in your life that’s completely dependent on you (aside from your boy/girlfriend). Once you’re 100% certain and no less, go out and get yourself a pet. They are infinitely better roommates than the human you had last semester. You know it’s true.

Antidepressants are supposed to make us happier—but are they actually doing the opposite? According to researcher Helen Fisher, Prozac, Zoloft, Paxil and other antidepressants may alter brain chemistry in a way that zaps desire to find a mate and dulls the euphoria felt when people fall in love—a process that Fisher calls “temporary insanity.”

I’m sure anyone who’s been in love would not hesitate to agree with that description. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if many people on antidepressants began them after the breakup. I can’t help but wonder…since the prescription of anti-depressants has more than doubled in the past 30 years, perhaps we should be asking what came first—the chicken or the egg?

Ironically, it seems that not only can depression mean bad news for love, but that falling in love can mean bad news for your health as well. According to Professor Martin Cowie of Imperial College, “Our pupils dilate, our palms become sweaty and the heart rate increases. We have large amounts of adrenaline running through our system and that does cause problems for the body.”

In personal news, I have a date tomorrow night. Perhaps I should quit while I’m ahead and stay home with my cats. Having a pet is good for your health, after all!

And you know what would go great with this newfound individuality? A pet. Right?

Something fluffy and cuddly that will always be there when you get home and love you unconditionally, something to keep you company on those long nights when no one calls and all you’ve got is the Food Network to keep you from plummeting into a chasm of mind-numbing boredom.

Something small, cute, simple.

Not to sound like your mom, but it ain’t as simple as you think.

I learned a very expensive lesson this week; having a pet isn’t easy. Especially when they get sick.

For some reason, a week ago, my cat started throwing up all over the place. It was gross, and scary, and after a day or so of cleaning up cat puke, my roommate and I decided to take her to the emergency room.

Something was wrong with her, the doctors agreed, but what that thing exactly was no one could figure out. Four days and $1000 later, they released her, saying she probably just ate something bad.

After staring at the bill and mentally erasing that cute skirt I was planning to buy and preparing myself to ingest peanut butter sandwiches for weeks, I limped home, cringing as the doctor called after me. “If she doesn’t eat in two days, you’re going to have to bring her here and we’re going to have to do surgery!”

When we adopted our cat, we didn’t waste one minute thinking about how expensive it would be if she got sick. We didn’t think about the annual shots and check-ups that cost anywhere between $60-$100. We didn’t think about vacations and where she’d go during them. And we certainly didn’t count on the fact that she’d get into everything…routinely eating objects that were plastic, rubber, and disgusting.

Neither my roommate or I regret adopting our Kitta, but had I thought about all this stuff beforehand, and done the calculations, I’m not sure if we would have jumped into it so quickly. We love her, we’re glad she’s here, but we’re also hundreds of dollars poorer.

If you’ve got the money, the space, and the time to devote to an animal, then by all means, adopt away. But just remember, these living creatures don’t come for free…and if they eat your hair elastic, it’s gonna cost a lot of green stuff to get it out.

There were about 20 people there, including a precious chihuahua I’ll call Tony. Tony, although several years old, retained his puppyesque glow at a whopping four pounds. Since I didn’t know very many people at the party, Tony and I became fast friends, playing tug – of – war in a corner and waiting for my ride to want to leave.

Until… Tony’s owner stumbled over, scooped him up, put her mouth on his, and blew. Smoke. Into the little chihuahua. She gave Tony back to me, but he was a goner. He slumped over on the floor, catatonic — I guess he was transfixed by the awesome jams. “Yeah, Tony!” Everyone laughed.

This was all a little much for me. Maybe it was the stress of my upcoming finals and the Blink 182 playing in the background, but I wanted to cry, or call the ASPCA, but I didn’t have their number so crying was a more reasonable option. I’ve heard tall tales of frat boys feeding their golden retrievers beer, but getting a tiny, defenseless chihuahua high? Not cool!

I left before Tony could perk back up. I really didn’t want to hang around to see what dogs ate when they got the munchies. In Tony’s case, I hope he found something good and gave his owner the dog food.