Surprise! I haven’t even graduated yet, and nothing has gone the way I thought it would or how I want it to, and with graduation next weekend – it’s time to come up with a game plan for the ominous future.

Originally, I thought I wanted to attend graduate school and work towards a higher degree in English literature. I spent the entire fall semester working on taking the GRE exam, filling out graduate applications (and spending major money on sending them out!), and writing the most intense essay of my undergraduate career to send along to my program choices. In the midst of all this, I spoke with my academic advisor who told me “Charlsie, don’t worry about it – I think you’ll get in wherever you want, you’ll have the option to choose where you want to go. You’ll do great.” Despite the stress and pressure I felt from all this, her reassurance told me to expect the best and relax about my future.

Oh boy, did I ever expect the best – but only got slammed by the worst: I exhausted the bulk of my spring semester receiving rejection letters and reading online news articles highlighting that universities across the nation received more graduate applications than in years before – making those already-hard-to-get seats for English M.A. and PhD programs even harder to get into (most programs only accept between 12-30 students per year anyway).  Recognizing that graduate school wasn’t an option (I started thinking that maybe graduate school wasn’t what I wanted to do the more I worked on my thesis, anyway, but that’s another story for another time), I knew I had to figure something out.

Trying not to be too disheartened (this is really hard to do), I moved on to publishing and publicity job positions in Atlanta, Georgia (my hometown). Nearly every place I contacted never responded back to my voicemails or e-mails. If I did hear back, they usually said they weren’t accepting interns or hiring this year due to the economy. The few places I did apply at rejected me. Ouch! After spending the last four years with endless internship acceptances, this came as a huge shock for me. I was never rejected by an intern program before!

I think Kelly Cutrone sums it up best in her book If You Have To Cry, Go Outside: And Other Things your Mother Never Told You: “Often the problems is not that parents didn’t encourage their kids to dream, but that parents were so encouraging that those dreams became their children’s expectations.” All my dreams have always been my expectations – and realizing my dreams aren’t as straightforward and accessible as I once thought truly feels like a slap in the face, especially after completing four years for an undergraduate degree, which almost seems useless right now.

Many people, when faced with extreme confusion, go home to sort things out. Unfortunately for me, though,  I don’t have a place I can call home. My family life is a little disjointed, something I’ve been used to since I was a pre-teen; it is just how things are for me, whether I like it or not. Although I haven’t lived with my dad since I was ten (and I haven’t even seen him since June 2008), I think moving out and living with him is my best option, and I’m lucky he is welcoming me with open arms.

So, I’m packing up my Toyota Corolla after graduation and I’m setting out for the Hills of California. I will be moving to Orange County with no job to look forward to. No internship to plan towards. No career prospects to expect. No friends to meet up with. Awaiting me is just a room in my dad’s Newport Beach apartment and some time without too much pressure, so I can figure out exactly what I need to do and how I need to do it – to get to where I want to go.

A lot of doors may have closed on me, but I do have goals – and some hope left.

This column is not only going to follow my move to California, it will follow me as I take a new direction towards my future: Law School. I am planning to spend the summer studying for the October LSAT, so I can apply to law school in the fall. This journey is going to be tough. In fact, it’s going to be really, really hard – and I know there are going to be bumps along the way, whether it is with my family, my personal life, or my ambitious plan to attend Law School for the 2011-2012 school year.

With that said, I’m not moving to California to become friends with our favorite girls from The Hills, and I’m not moving out West with the notion of being a celebrity. I am, however, moving out there – like many people do– to make my dreams come true, whatever they may be.

Won’t you join me along for the ride?

Grad school or no grad school - that is the question.

[It's pretty obvious that the average CollegeCandy reader has some very strong opinions. Opinions that she likes to share with everyone on the site. We love a strong woman (unless she happens to be charging at us with her fists raised), so we thought we'd give her a real forum to discuss her thoughts, feelings, and perspectives. Every Friday I'll be featuring a hot topic (like taking him home for the holidays!) and leaving it up to you, the readers, to duke it out. So, read it and get your debate on in the comments section below!]

The New Year is here, and for those of you graduating in May, it’s time to start thinking about the future (insert groan here). Probably the biggest question you face down as graduation approaches is, what next? You could go out and get a job, bum around your parents’ place for a while, or you could keep the education train rolling with grad school. Applications to Masters programs have gone way up in the last few years (and they’re starting soon) - should you be joining them?

On the “pro” side of the argument, there are a lot of reasons it could be worth it to go to grad. There’s a lot more freedom in graduate study than in undergrad, which means that you get to make your own rules a bit more and you can really immerse yourself in one area of interest instead of taking all those required classes you’re never going to use again. Also, the job market still pretty much sucks (depending on your field, of course) and studies have shown that people who start jobs now (at lower pay) will continue to be paid lower even 10 years down the road – WTF? So in that respect, grad school is a really good way to buy yourself a little time and maybe a better pay check in the future. And ultimately, the truth is that a Masters degree is going to become increasingly the standard for our generation and the ones following us. For our grandparents it was a high school diploma, for our parents, a college degree and for our generation, where soooo many go to college, standing out is going to mean a Masters at least. Consider it an investment in your future.

But there are some distinct “cons” here too. To start with, you finally managed to graduate, the day you’ve been working toward since you were five, and now you’ve got to go in for at least 2 more years?! And while many grad schools are less expensive than undergrad, it’s still not exactly cheap. If you already have student loans or debt piling up, grad school may not be such a helping hand, particularly since there aren’t nearly as many scholarships or grants for grad. And while you don’t have to take those crappy required classes, grad school doesn’t allow for a lot of blow off courses either, which means an awful lot of stress. Speaking of stress, let’s not forget that most grad programs require you to take the GREs - yep, it’s like the SATs all over again. Joy! Oh, and BTW, when I mentioned up there that applications to grad school were way up, some schools have seen jumps of over 30%, so just getting in could be an issue.

Do you see yourself in grad school? Or would you rather eat your backpack than add on more school years? Will you be applying? Have you? Or do you think the whole idea of a Masters degree is just silly? Duke it out!

Everyone knows that women mature faster than men. That said, as you wade your way through the college dating scene, you might find yourself growing tired of the undergrads on your floor, and that Sociology grad assistant might start looking mighty fine. Undergrads, grad students…on campus, the possibilities are endless! Here are some of the pros and cons of hooking up with guys gearing up for a Bachelors, and dudes who are striving for a Masters or PhD.

The Maturity Level

Grad students might be attractive if the undergrad who’s crushing on you still hasn’t quite grasped the concept of doing his own laundry. Grad students have been there, done that. At twenty-three and older, they’ve grown up a lot. They probably won’t be engaging in syrup-chugging contests when they have a research project on the horizon.

Still, what about yourself? If you’re trying to make the most of your own undergraduate career, your grad student beau might not be as excited as you are the first time your new fake ID works at the bar and you chug 50-cent Natty Ices for four hours straight.

Point: Grad Student.

The Course Load

Your undergrad guy is taking Racquetball to fulfill his gen eds. Your grad student has thirty hours of lab work scheduled this week and is going to have to bail on the reservations you made for your one-month anniversary dinner. The undergrad is more likely to blow off studying for midterms when a kegger rolls around, but the grad student will be much more weary of jeopardizing his scholarly reputation.

Point: Undergrad.

His Peers

Undergrad Boy hangs out with the kids on his floor. His connections range from his frat brothers to the other kids taking Racquetball for an easy credit to the random kids from Orientation he just happened to click with. The Grad student most likely got the socializing out of his system during his own college career, and hasn’t met many people outside of his own department since embarking on his post-grad journey. That said, if you are chasing an English grad student, expect his social gatherings to involve in-depth discussions of Milton and Blake, and expect the Molecular Biology PhD candidate to have… well… other friends who actually care about Molecular Biology.

Point: Undergrad.

The Taboos

You aren’t going to run into any taboos if you date an undergrad. That is, unless he’s “that guy” who gets so rip-roaring drunk on Friday night that he pees on you in his sleep (come on, everyone knows at least one girl who’s been whizzed on by her drunk mate). However, if your grad student partner is actually a grad assistant, you’ve got a whole new round of issues to deal with. If he’s your current grad assistant, you’re going to have to keep things under wraps, and if his job has nothing to do with you, you still run the risk of him TA’ing for your friend’s class, among other random scenarios.

Still, having a secret affair can be steamy, and if he’s willing to jeopardize his academic career to be with you, it might prove that his intentions are serious. If you are both adult about where each other is coming from, you have the basis of a meaningful relationship. Especially if it means you can wake up dry in the morning.

Point: Grad Student.

The Life Experience

A grad student might be able to give you advice as you ride the ups and downs of the undergraduate rollercoaster. If your grad student guy is in the same field as you, he might also make a good study buddy. On the other hand, the grad student might be too busy writing research papers to be your personal tutor, and an undergraduate boyfriend will ride the undergrad rollercoaster with you, and the two of you can figure out how to win at the game of Life together.

Point: Undergrad.

There are pros and cons to dating any guy, whether he’s older, younger, working on a BA, an MA, a PhD, or a liquor license. Ultimately, a list of pros and cons shouldn’t determine what kind of guy you are looking to pursue. If you have only dated undergrads, just beware that dating a grad student will be an entirely different experience. It might work out well for you, or it might send you running back to the BA-candidate pond, never to look back.

Anyone have any specific tales of trysts with undergrads or grad students?

I admit to not putting 100% into my academic efforts in college, but that was because I didn’t need to. I was writing papers with a buzz on and taking finals hungover, and still made Dean’s List. I knew that grad school would be different though, and I fully intended on being a legitimate scholar.

If you are considering grad school, you are probably doing very well in school. By senior year, you’re probably breaking the curves and tutoring your friends. You probably stand out in class for having thoughtful ideas and a firm grasp of the subject matter. Newsflash: Everyone in Grad School has gotten used to being a star scholar.

Often, PhD students and MA students will be mixed into classes together. I went from taking Shakespeare classes with business majors who didn’t know the definition of “iambic pentameter” to listening to a PhD debate over which folio edition was most likely the Bard’s original manuscript. WTF? My thoughts exactly.

Because college often mixes students of all different academic backgrounds, there’s a lot of information that slips through the cracks, even in a university setting. There were certain things that other MA students took for granted that I’d never been taught. A lot of research methods that PhD students had been using for years were completely alien to me. Even more embarrassing (for an English major, especially): I’d never written an abstract. Of course, writing an abstract was one of my first assignments in grad school.

I spent longer writing my first two-page abstract (a response to a critical article by one of the most renowned Shakespeare scholars in academia) than I did writing a ten-page research paper in college. Imagine my disdain when I received a “check minus” and a “Please Revise” comment on the damn thing. My professors in undergrad had always complimented my writing style, but my graduate professor tore apart my abstract. Comments like “wordy,” “colloquial,” and “strive for active verbs” littered the piece that I’d struggled with for hours.

As I continued through the semester, I continued to be disappointed with myself time and again. I ended up rewriting almost every abstract I wrote for my graduate Shakespeare class, and even my revisions usually didn’t get a higher mark than a “check.” Once a straight “A” student, I got a “C” on an easy response activity because I had two grammatical errors that involved a comma and a semi-colon. I had research paper proposals torn to shreds, and I was told to completely redo entire assignments for various reasons.

Of course, by the end of my grad school career, I was working with the same professor who had given me my first “check minus.” As my thesis advisor, she constantly reassured me that my writing style had become more polished, and the rest of my committee also complimented my word choice and tone. In the end, I stuck it out, and I improved, but it was never easy to handle harsh criticism and see my work take such a beating.

I’m not going to tell you that I finished grad school without a considerable amount of tears, rage, and near-nervous breakdowns. Still, I completed the degree and expanded my knowledge of English literature. Looking back, I think I may have been too sensitive to the negative feedback I received time and again, but that just goes to show that grad school isn’t for everyone. If you are planning on moving on, I suggest you grow a thick skin and check your ego at the door.

Case in point: In college, I majored in English, and I was one class shy of earning a film minor. My final semester of college, no film classes that would fulfill my final requirement were offered, and even though I had taken film classes that weren’t part of the minor’s plan of study, they wouldn’t give me the “Film Studies Minor” title unless I took a class that wasn’t freakin’ available. I still get riled up about that, as you can see.

Anyway, I was seeking a Masters degree in English, though I really enjoyed Film Studies as well. Now, when you apply for a grad school program, you might have to choose a field within the realm of your chosen subject. For example, many English programs divide their grad students into Rhet/Comp or Lit majors; my friend is currently getting a PhD in Psychology, but her specialization is Early Childhood Development. So while you may earn a degree in a broad major like Politics, Journalism, or Philosophy, you may have to narrow it down to a specific topic when you apply to grad schools.

That being said, I discovered that North Carolina State had three “tracks” for its English grad students to choose from: Composition and Rhetoric (boring), Literature (why not?), and Film (What?? Film?!? Score!). I hastily applied for the film track, and eagerly awaited acceptance to NC State. I surpassed all of the school’s entry requirements, such as GPA and GRE Scores, and I sent two awesome writing samples, which were essays I wrote that analyzed some classic films.

NC State was my first choice school at the time, hands down. So imagine my surprise when I got REJECTED. I was shocked. I was so surprised, in fact, that I mustered up the balls to write to an admissions rep and ask why they didn’t want me. Where had I gone wrong? Applying for a film track.

I mentioned that many English programs ask students to choose between Rhet/Comp, Literature, or some other derivative of English language. It’s basically a matter of checking a box, so I’d assumed the same was true of the film track. Because I hadn’t thoroughly researched the program at NC State, I hadn’t realized that the film track is incredibly competitive. While I would have been a prime candidate for the literature track, I was trying to compete with kids who had majored in film studies, students who had written, directed, and produced actual films while I was writing about camera angles in Hitchcock flicks.

Reapplying for the Lit track was out, so I blew my chance at studying at my number one grad school, simply because I didn’t know what I was doing when I tried to choose a program. Then, when I finally began my career as an English graduate student, I quickly realized that even the literature track wasn’t right for me. I had loved the variety of English classes available to me in undergrad, and surpassed my minimum credit requirements by signing up for elective classes like “Literature Goes to Hell,” “Fiction into Film,” “Contemporary Irish Literature,” and “African American Children’s Lit.”

My grad school program, however, followed a strict plan of study, and while I thoroughly enjoyed “Modern American Drama,” I absolutely hated reading a 1600-page epistolary novel in my 18th Century British Lit class. Furthermore, I had decided to get a Masters degree with zero intentions of going on to a PhD, and English is the kind of major that people usually study because they want to end up a professor or because they want to do research in the field. That being said, the required “Practicum in Teaching Composition” and “Art of the Bibliography” classes weren’t exactly fulfilling to my interests.

As I said last week, it’s vital that you spend the time to research the schools and programs you are applying for. Look at a sample plan of study. If you want to get a Masters degree in History, but have no intention of studying anything prior to 1965, you might be disappointed. It’s also in your best interest to actually understand how competitive a program is, so you don’t waste $50 applying to a program that you are grossly unqualified for.

Last week, I warned you that the grad school application process is quite a time consuming effort. Well guess what folks? You’re going to need to put ample time into choosing your prospective grad schools too! Sure, this might seem a bit obvious, but this columnist doesn’t always think things through.

For me, grad school was a roll of the dice, and six possible schools came up for me: Georgetown, Rutgers, Ohio State, North Carolina State, San Francisco State, and the school I eventually chose, hereafter refered to as X University.I chose these schools on a whim. Georgetown was my “reach,” and the closest I could get to Ivy League while maintaining a glimmer of hope for acceptance. Rutgers was relatively close to my hometown (by close I mean a 5 hour drive); Ohio State is a party school notorious for it’s tailgating parties (I swear, that’s why I applied- don’t judge); North Carolina State was an hour from my only other friend attending grad school; and San Francisco just seemed like a cool city to live in, as did the location of X University.

Rule number one in choosing grad school? Don’t be superficial when planning your future!

Take your time to research graduate programs across the country. If you want to focus on a particular location, check out as many schools in that region as you can. Take notes. Google the faculty. Check out some of the courses being offered, and find out what the plan of study entails. Many grad schools have student ambassadors that you can email to get a current students’ point of view on the program. Seriously, folks, exhaust the freaking websites. Scour them like you scour Perez Hilton.

In college, you have a lot of room to change your mind. Changed your major? No biggie. Transfer student? Piece of cake. On the five- or six-year plan? Join the club. Masters programs, on the other hand, are only two years long. Stretching out the plan of study can raise flags when you are applying for jobs or PhD programs, and not only is transferring schools relatively rare, you’re likely to lose the credits you’ve already earned. Having transferred schools and changed majors in undergrad, I can appreciate the trial-and-error aspect of college. In graduate school however, you’re in it for the long haul.

In the end, my final decision was between Georgetown and X University. Georgetown= awesome school. X University= tuition waiver. I reasoned that completing a M.A. in itself would be an accomplishment. Where I got the degree wasn’t that important right? Let’s just say I plan on framing my Georgetown acceptance letter and hanging it above my X University diploma. Oh, what could have been.

I realized I was at the wrong school during my first semester, when the homework for a required course consisted of blogging about our experience as graduate students each week. That’s what Myspace bulletins are for! Though my friends and I drank away our frustrations that fall, it wasn’t until the following semester that I realized I would give anything to transfer to Northeastern University, a school that hadn’t been picked up on my original radar, but that I thought was pretty much the perfect school for me. I was shit out of luck.

Make a list of you want to get out of your education. Trust me, you’re going to be working your butt off in grad school, so it might as well be worth it. Take your time looking at schools, my friends. A few extra hours of your time now is much more efficient than two years of your life at a school that isn’t right for you.

Life after college…it can be hard to fathom actually getting to the diploma, no matter how many years you’ve been in school. But what happens after graduation? Most of your peers will be joining the work force, but a decent percentage will move on to even higher education and pursue master’s degrees, PhDs, or professional certifications. While the job application process is hard, getting into and completing a post-graduate degree is even harder. Having experienced the trials and tribulations firsthand, I’m here to share some tips so you can decide whether moving on to even MORE school is the right choice for you.

Towards the end of my junior year of undergrad, I realized that I had to start thinking of a post-college plan. I was finishing a Bachelor’s in English, had no clue what career path I wanted to pursue, and was having way too much fun on Thirsty Thursdays to want to give up my laid-back student lifestyle. So, I decided to elongate my college experience by going to grad school. Boy, did I get a rude awakening.

Once you’ve finished your Bachelor’s degree, choosing a path for the future should be taken very seriously. If you are considering moving on to graduate or doctorate work, don’t make the same mistakes I made.

The first thing you need before you begin applying to graduate schools is TIME. I decided to get a masters on a whim a few weeks into the fall semester of my senior year. I found myself trying to balance fifteen credit hours, two part-time jobs, and an active social life with preparing for the application process. I didn’t anticipate simply applying to schools to be so much work, so in my mind, I had plenty of time to apply to and choose a school, while fighting a major case of senioritis (in the form of an unyielding craving for margaritas).

Before you even decide to start looking at schools, you need to ask yourself: Am I willing to set aside the time?

Plan to spend a considerable amount of time on each of the following: letters of reference; searching for schools; choosing a program; taking the required tests and collecting writing samples or other materials; and making the final decision.

1. Letters of Reference

In high school, you work much more closely with teachers than you do with the majority of your college professors. You might have aced your psychology lecture freshman year, but chances are, a TA who has since moved on to publishing articles was the one grading your exams, and your professor has no clue who you are. Or perhaps you did do well in smaller sized classes, but it was a graduate student who taught the class. That being said, it took me a while just to weed out three solid references out of 60 or so credit hours.

Oh, and even after I chose my three references, I had one professor decline my request. FYI: If you can’t handle being rejected for a reference, grad school probably isn’t for you anyway. I totally understood the teacher’s reason; I asked her for a reference because she was the only professor I’d taken more than one class with, but I had gotten a B in one class and an A in the other. She felt that the “B” in the first class didn’t demonstrate graduate level scholarship. Looking back, I’m sure she was swamped with reference request from kids who had gotten flying A’s in every course she taught. But that still meant I had to find one more reference.

Once you’ve solidified your refs, they will probably want to meet with you to discuss your reasons for wanting to go to grad school, your ultimate career goals, and your basic interests outside of their class. Be prepared to answer these questions! It’s not a bad idea to make up a folder or packet for your references that includes a list of each of your prospective schools and application deadlines, a copy of your resume (so the professor can acknowledge your accomplishments both in and out of the classroom), and samples of the work you did for their class. Since I was an English major, I gave each of my references a copy of the best paper I wrote in each of their respective classes, because after reading hundreds of essays per semester, chances are, they’d forgotten the thesis statement of my final paper.

As you can see, simply getting people to refer you to a graduate program is a lot of work, and requires a variety of efforts: writing professional, polished emails to ask for a reference, organizing packets for each reference, and meeting one on one with your professors (which will be at THEIR leisure, of course, not when it’s most convenient for you). The good news is, if you can’t even get past this step, at least you haven’t wasted too much time in the first place. If you can muddle through the references-debacle, you’re one step closer to becoming a grad student…but there will be many more obstacles along the way.

Come back next Tuesday for more grad school tips.

Having a hard time getting through those 50 pages of English Lit? Imagine if you had 1,000 pages to read. Every week. And it was in Latin.

Students at the tiny New Saint Andrews College in Idaho are saddled with assignments like that throughout their college career, and none of them are complaining.

Modern and ancient at the same time, Saint Andrews is relatively new, with a large percentage of enrollment from home-schoolers and a small, carefully selected student body. The actual age of the Idaho college has nothing to do with it’s classes, however, since N.S.A. aims to teach “classical Christian education”.

“Besides required coursework in Latin and Greek,” the New York Times reports, “students at N.S.A. study natural philosophy (mostly taxonomy and creationist science), the Western literary canon, Euclidean geometry and theology; they also practice public speaking at a weekly declamation.”

According to one alumnus, the students and professors at New Saint Andrews “want to be medieval Protestants.”

Uh, okay.

While N.S.A claims to have no political affiliations or motives (even proudly announcing that their campus is wet: i.e, drinking is okay), many of the liberals of Moscow, Idaho don’t appreciate the college’s presence; Creationist science and 18th century ideals sort of stick out in an open-minded college town (the much larger and publicly funded University of Idaho also resides in Moscow).

Because many of the professors at N.S.A are graduates of the school themselves who sometimes lack a PhD, and Darwin’s theories are hardly touched, critics of the college fear that students aren’t being pushed to think outside their box. If everyone believes the same thing, critics wonder, how is anyone ever going to develop an original thought pattern?

Addressing opponents of the school’s narrow worldview, one student explains, “Some call it a straitjacket — I prefer to think of it as a nicely fitted suit.”

Can that quote please go in the dictionary with the word “brainwashed”?

Personally, I’m often weary of any religious extremism; be it the kind that preaches violence, or the kind that simply disregards non-believers. A restrictive worldview can only hurt in the long run, especially when that worldview downplays the need for creative thinking.

Besides, how far can one really go in 2007 accepting Creationism and spending hours on Euclidean geometry?

…then again, we have a president who probably totally believes in the first thing and probably has no idea what the second thing even is. So, nevermind.