I am pissed at Alec Baldwin. Despite calling his daughter “a rude, thoughtless, little pig” in the now infamously inexcuseable and abusive phone message released by TMZ last week, he forced me to watch the View this morning.

I f@$&ing hate the View and more specifically Rosie O’Donnell, but I am a big fan of Alec as Jack Donaghy on 30 Rock and was certain he would use this opportunity to take some responsibilty for his ridiculous tirade and show the world he is deserving of atleast a tiny bit of compassion. How wrong was I?

Acting as the meat in the middle of a Rosie-WaWa sandwich, Alec spent 20 minutes placing the blame on everyone possible but himself. He cited the guy that released the tape as being a miserable human being who exploited Alec’s dark moment only because he himself had a closet full of deep dark secrets. He then went on to bash all the members of the tabloid media as being evil people with broken souls. And if any one person deserves the blunt of the blame, it is not himself, but rather his unfit, emotionally troubled ex-wife.

Was Alec Baldwin’s apology sincere?

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You’ve heard it, right? Alec Baldwin’s criz-azy message to his 11-year-old daughter? You know, the message where he swears at her and calls her a pig?

According to this website, the illustrious phone message may have been leaked to the press by Baldwin’s ex, Kim Basinger. Apparently, the two movie stars—who seem to be fighting for more years than they were married—hate each other so badly that they’ve decided to use their young daughter as weapon. According to reports, Baldwin claims that Basinger is trying to turn his daughter against him, while Basinger claims that Baldwin has “anger issues” and was an abusive father. Awesome. So cool that these two adults are turning their only child into collateral during their messy divorce. I’m sure she’s going to grow up to be perfectly normal with no developmental or emotional problems. Totally.

Kim Basinger and Alec Baldwin, you two are doing an amazing job as parents! You’re completely normal and mature, and I salute your unselfish behavior during this tumultuous time in your life! Hopefully, more and more couples in the process of separation will look to you two for advice because man, you’ve got it all figured out!