The thing is, I’ve recently realized that completely disregarding my boyfriend’s trust and going through his phone like a crazy woman isn’t helping me feel any better about anything. I used to think it would soothe my panicked nerves, that it would allow me to trust him. But due to my most recent experience with snooping, I’ve discovered that it’s actually probably one of the most terrible ideas I’ve ever had. (Tuffy Luv agrees!)

The first time I did it, it was on my long-term high school boyfriend. I knew he had a lot of girl friends, and I also knew that he was good-looking with a naturally flirty personality. All three combined made my insecure, 15-year-old self scared to death. After a few months, I had to know who he was constantly texting or calling, and I went through his phone. It started with just his most recent calls, but then it turned into reading all of his inbox and all of his sent messages – even the innocent ones he sent to his mom just in case they had some kind of clue to something more sinister. Eventually, I figured out his passwords, and I was regularly checking his email, his Myspace, his AIM, and even his Facebook – basically, I was addicted.

At first, I kept it quiet – but he eventually caught on. The last few years of our relationship consisted of me grabbing his phone from him every time he got a message, and him deleting every single thing sent to him. It was not a healthy situation. When we broke up, I promised myself that I would never disrespect someone’s privacy like that again, unless the situation really and truly called for it.

I kept that promise until last month.

I’ve been dating this amazing guy for almost seven months. He’s been nothing but wonderful to me, and has never given me any reason to not trust him. Plus, I’m more mature than I was when I was in high school. I’m more willing to trust guys and not disrespect them by going through their things. Or so I thought. A few weeks ago, we were lying in bed when he got a text message. Usually he tells me who his messages are from (he’ll just make a little quip about it, not that I ask). In fact, he is rarely on his phone when we’re together. But this time, he didn’t. I couldn’t stop being curious. I thought about it all night long, and in the middle of the night, when I woke up and he was sleeping, I did something I still feel guilty about – I looked through his phone.

I felt like an addict, going through his texts, my heart pounding, praying he wouldn’t wake up. Even though I knew what I was doing was wrong, I kept going. And you know what? I didn’t find anything. Nothing. The text I had been so worried about was just a girl his friend is dating wishing him a happy birthday. I felt indescribably stupid, and I also felt horrible for what I had done. But I’ve done it twice since then, and I honestly have no idea why. It doesn’t make me feel any better – it makes me feel awful. I feel terrible for not trusting him and going behind his back like that. And it also makes me feel a little crazy, like I can’t stop. Once I started, I had to keep doing it. It’s like a vicious cycle.

Not to mention the fact that I have no idea what I would even do if I found something from another girl. Confronting him would most likely mean admitting that I had snooped through his phone, and admitting that only makes ME look bad, no matter what he’s done. Plus, it can be so easy to misunderstand something. A text from a girl could be completely innocent, and I could just be reading too much into it. The information could end up making me feel crazy jealous for no real reason.

The thing that disturbed me the most? My friends’ reactions. I had at first planned on not telling ANYONE what I had done because of how embarrassed I was. But one night, during a bonding sesh, I ended up admitting it to a friend. Feeling completely ashamed, I waited for her disapproval – instead, she said ever-so-nonchalantly, “So what? I do that with every guy I hook up with.” A few days later, I told another friend. She just shrugged and said, “I’ve been doing that since texts were invented.”

Girls, if you’ve never done this, take it from me – don’t start. And if you do it all the time and think nothing of it? STOP. IMMEDIATELY. Nothing good can ever come out of it. Going through my ex’s texts helped to destroy our relationship. After this most recent incident, I really am never doing it again to my new guy. No one deserves being disrespected in that way, and it makes me feel disgusted with myself. There is way too much potential for arguments and trust being broken. It’s just not worth it. From now on, if I’m really uncomfortable… I’ll just be honest and straight up ask him about it.

Have you ever snooped? Is it ever OK to do it?

It’s Wednesday and despite the fact that I can’t move any of my extremities without crying (why oh why did I decide to swim laps last night?!), things are looking up. It’s sunny outside, I have a buy-one-get-one coupon for Subway, and The Hills is back on TV.

It’s a happy, happy day.

And now, the icing on this delicious cupcake of a day, it’s time for some Would You Rather…

Would You Rather have uncontrollable, loud gas at your first dinner with your boyfriend’s parents OR find out that your parents snooped and read every text message in your phone?

Things to Consider: the sound of a fart, the smell of a fart, those late night text messages from your booty call.

Vote and tell us why below!

"WHY DID HE PUT A PERIOD AT THE END?!??!"

When our mothers were single ladies, courtship had a very different feel. If they met the man of their dreams, it meant they were chained to the house phone for the next week – waiting for Mr. Right to call. Today, cell phones have granted us the gift of mobility. While women may not be able to shake that desperate feeling, they can at least carry it with them to the mall or out with friends. The real benefit of cell phones, however, is text messaging.

In my experience, text messaging has been a blessing and a curse for relationships. Sure, you can edit and tweak everything you say before you say it. You can read messages and chose how and when to respond.  You can even save conversations to replay and re-analyze over and over again (a practice I am wayyyy to familiar with). On the down side, the informality of text messaging has blurred the “rules” of who makes the first move.

I have always been a very strong believer in the idea that the guy should text the girl first. As embarrassing as this is, I had to fight the urge to become a fan of “I’m The Girl. You’re The Boy. You Text Me First Or We Don’t Talk Today” on Facebook (which, by the way, has over one million fans). However, I don’t know if my phone’s contact list would agree with me. Scrolling down, it’s easy to spot the “John – bar,”  “Mike – hockey team,” and “Ryan – tall kid.” These are the names of boys who I’ve met, exchanged numbers with, and never spoke to again. Instead of seeing the light of the inbox, these boys are permanently sentenced to “never-contact-land” and “look-the-other-way-when-I-pass-you-ville.”

Recently, there has been much debate over the rights to the send button among my friends and myself. While some stand by my rule, others aren’t afraid to be aggressive and use the sent box to its full potential. We accused each other of being either too prude or too forward, until my one friend proposed her method.

Her strategy? “If I like them, I’ll text them first – like, right after I meet them so they know I’m interested. When I first met Joe (her current boyfriend), I got his number and texted him saying ‘you’re pretty lame for leaving that party… I wish you would have stayed.’”

At first, I dismissed it right away. It takes an internal debate and approval from all of my roommates just for me to IM a boy I like; this was clearly way too forward. But then I realized two things: 1. I am crazy. 2. This actually might work.

First of all, if you meet this guy on a night out, you’re probably at least tipsy; aka anything you do/say/text is excusable. Secondly, you just met him – it’s not like it’s the next day and you’re still thinking about him. Third, it lets him know you are interested. (Often, I forget it’s called “hard-to-get” and think it’s called “impossible-to-get.” The truth is, no mentally stable guy will pursue something that’s 100% unattainable.) Fourth, it lets him think that if he had stayed, he would have gotten a little somethin’somethin’ from you. If you’re me, that’s definitely not the case – but it should at least make him realize that he missed the opportunity… which means he’ll be interested in seeing you again.

Could I have been wrong all along? Is this the ideal solution? It certainly has credibility – she’s the one with the Facebook-official relationship. Looking at the way I play the “love game,” I can’t help but feel like my ways and beliefs contradict. I consider myself an advocate of woman’s rights and gender equality, yet I always find myself waiting around for the man to decide the path of the relationship. Perhaps I have misjudged. It’s 2010, technology has been revolutionized and so has flirting.

I have yet to try out my new perspective, but I’m eagerly awaiting the next digits I receive. Who knows… maybe “Andrew – Hottie from the club” might turn into an “Andy – boyfrienddd<3″.

For more tips on practicing safe text, check out the book “Flirtexting“!

"I will take the stairs" is more realistic than "I will workout 6 days a week."

With every new year comes a handful of far-fetched resolutions and often unrealistic goals we set for ourselves. We vow to be better in the new year: to be thinner, study more, drink less, exercise more, etc, etc. And then we throw them all away during our post-NYE hangover the next morning. What? It’s hard to eat healthy when the only thing that will make you feel better is a stack of chocolate chip pancakes and 5 strips of bacon.

If you’re tired of setting resolutions that never pan out, maybe it’s time to make a new resolution: to make more realistic resolutions.

Now, I’m not saying you should change your resolution from “I want to get better grades” to “I will sleep with my professor to get better grades,” just because it may seem easier. What I am saying is there are simple ways to improve your life without grand resolutions that you know you’ll never keep. Life is in the details and sometimes the smallest changes can have the biggest impact.

If you wanna see some real changes in 2010, start small.

Change Your Routine:
We are creatures of habit; it’s in our DNA. Although having a structured schedule is a great way to establish a healthy lifestyle, it also can lead to a mundane life. And one where everything remains the same. Try a new exercise (hula hooping is all the rage right now). Swap your lattes for a simple coffee (which will cut out some serious calories). Take the stairs to your dorm room instead of the elevator. Find a new study space. Just do something that will give your brain and body some new stimulation. The change will be small, but the results will be noticeable.

Declutter:
Clean your room or desk space. College dorms are small enough without all that extra junk lying around. Throw out all those red cups, donate any old and unwanted clothes to Goodwill, and reorganize your room. Studies show that our mental state often reflects our living space, so if you declutter your room you’ll feel less stressed and chaotic and more relaxed and rejuvenated for the new year.

Be LESS Available:
That’s right, I said it. Put the Blackberry away, Tweet less, Facebook less, and leave Gmail alone for 5 seconds. Focus on the people you’re with when you’re actually with them, instead of taking calls and texting all the time. Not only will your friends appreciate your attention, but your relationships will get a whole lot stronger.

Wake Up 30 Minutes Earlier:
Most people have no real time for themselves between getting ready in the morning, eating breakfast, and rushing off to class. Try waking up a half hour early and relax a little: read the newspaper, have a cup of coffee, watch Saved By the Bell reruns (everyone could use a little more Zack Morris in their lives), and start your day off slower than you usually do. If you start the morning off without a rush, you’ll feel happier and less stressed during the long work/school day. Less stress = more productivity.

See? It’s that easy!

What are your New Years Resolutions? Do you make any small changes that have BIG results?

In this digital age, we are never apart from the ones we love, at least not for too long.  With smart phones, texting, Twitter, Facebook, MySpace, Skype, and SMS updates, we are just a press of a button away.  We are closer to other people than we have ever been before.  Even long distance relationships don’t seem that long-distance anymore.

But between new couples and old, is all this technology really bringing people together, or is it driving us apart?

While new technology is an awesome time-waster (among all the other fabulous things it does), the fact that it makes everyone so accessible is a little scary, not to mention the lack of mystery, chase, and boundaries between us all. We’re texting/IMing/Gchatting guys before we go out with them. And before that, we already know their favorite books, movies, quotes, hometown and birthday. We know what they’re doing, when they’re doing it… without ever asking them.

Sure, it’s OK because it’s all out there for the taking, but take a step back for a moment. Would that be OK if it required you to camp outside their dorm in a windowless van and follow them to around campus?

Yeah, it’s creepy.

I know it’s tempting to cyber stalk your crush/BF (oh boy, do I know), but maybe it’s time to take a step back from the technology. Yes, step away from the computer. Try interacting in real life; you know, like they did in the old times (1999). Ask the boy questions, experience things together (and not on AIM) and discover everything about him as you go.

And let him do the same for you. Don’t forget to take time for yourself, sans the Bberry.  Otherwise you are just a 21st century version of that annoying couple that spends every last second together and becomes one inseparable entity. He doesn’t need to know what you’re doing at every second. What he does need is a chance to miss you. Let him miss you. And let yourself miss him.

It may be hard to believe, but relationships did exist and flourish before the Newsfeed. The question is, can the same be said for after it?

Recently there have been incidents throughout the country involving transit workers texting while on the job and then, from lack of attention, having accidents.  The most current example of this happened in Boston, where a trolley operator had been texting his girlfriend and subsequently rear-ended another trolley at a red light.  This event has triggered one of the strictest bans seen on mobile phones since my mom wouldn’t let me have mine at the dinner table.  If it goes through, transit operators in Massachusetts will no longer be able to even have a cell phone on them at work.

This policy of zero-tolerance on texting and calling for transit workers is a great idea.  Who wants to be responsible and call a cab home from the bar if your cab driver is just going to text the entire time and probably cause an accident anyway?  Nobody!  That’s why I think there are a fair few other occupations where this ban would also be helpful:

1)  Food Vendors: This one is a no-brainer – I don’t want your phone anywhere near my food.  Where has it been??  Have you cleaned it lately?  C’mon, we’ve all seen Nick and Nora’s Infinite Playlist…that phone could have been anywhere (yuck).

2)  Civil Engineers: These guys make important decisions all day long and have to do really complicated math stuff that will affect the durability of the buildings we live in and the bridges we drive on. I would rather not leave it in the hands of some dude more interested in texting his friends about some geeky LAN party that weekend.

3)  Babysitters: Kids are tricky – you gotta watch them every second or they’ll turn around and make your life hell… or fall down the stairs.  Texting would kind of distract you from this purpose and lead to an, oh I don’t know, child abduction or Honey, I Blew Up The Kid! situation.  We don’t need no giant toddlers up in here, thanks.

4)  Professors: I can barely concentrate in class anyway, so I can understand if my teacher is tempted by the vibrations coming from her cell phone (I hope that’s where they are coming from, anyway).  But let’s face it – we need someone to be in control of Psych 201 and it might as well be the person who is getting paid to do it.  Phones away, please.

5) Walkers: Ok, so it’s not a profession, but have you ever gotten caught behind someone trying to text while walking? It’s almost as bad as driving behind my grandma. All that stopping and starting, moving so slowly, and taking up the entire sidewalk. Step aside, foo!

6)  Lifeguards: Yeah, we appreciate the fact that some lifeguards are super hot and probably have a roaring social life that they need to manipulate via text.  However, when I’m frolicking in the rolling waves with some new sexy guy friends, I’d like to have the security of someone watching over me who wasn’t buzzed on delicious summer drinks or texting plans to get buzzed on delicious summer drinks.

7)  Paramedics: We kinda need these guys to fix us up after we were stupid enough to text while driving.  If they’re texting, too?  Well, let’s try not to think about that and hope that the guy handling the respiratory machine isn’t also trying to text his mom what he wants for dinner.

8)  Strippers: You’re supposed to be shaking it, period.  Unless you’re into thumbs, texting is just so not sexy.  Now get back on that pole!

9)  Airline Pilots: Well, all transit workers, really.  Hell, I need four prescriptions to get on a plane even when I think the pilot is completely responsible and concentrating.  Just thinking about my pilot texting while flying might put me up to five bottles of pills.  Crazy speeds and heavy machinery?  ‘Nuff said.

It’s easy to throw down your MasterCard and forget about how much your text books cost for the semester; it’s just as simple to open a tab at Happy Hour and let the Bud Light flow.  We all eventually realize, however, that college flies by in the blink of an eye, and before you know it, you’ll be on your own.

With the economy in peril, now is an especially good time to start keeping an eye on your credit score so you don’t find yourself denied when you try to open new bank accounts, get a new apartment, condo, or house, or reward yourself for landing your dream job by buying your first brand new car.  Maintaining a good credit score doesn’t have to be harder than next Tuesday’s cumulative Calc exam, though– here are five simple steps to stay on top of your financial game.

1.  Get a credit card.

This might seem like a no-brainer, but I know a lot of people who are adamantly opposed to credit cards.  How they live without them, I don’t know. Personally, I am always prepared to whip one out in case of an emergency (like when my gas tank is below empty and I try my luck at the commuter lot at school).  Hey, if you can get by without a credit card, you win my admiration, but you can’t build credit if you never have any to begin with.  Get a credit card, and charge a couple small things each month- paying your bill in its entirety will show how well you handle your money.

2.  Put your name on the bills.

It’s a luxury to have parents who help you out in college.  However, if the ‘rents pay your cell phone bill, sign for your campus housing, or let you drive their car around for four years of higher education, you won’t have very strong credit references when it’s time to get out on your own.  Many apartment complexes want to see that you’ve been a good, rent-paying tenant in the past, for example.  If you only have your parents’ credit to go by, they might have to co-sign for you as gauranteurs, which still doesn’t necessarily prove how responsible you are when it comes to managing bills and paying off debts.  Even if you start small, like keeping a cell phone plan in your name, you’ll be off to a good start.

3.  Pay what you can..and pay on time.

Not paying your CC bill will result in a hefty fine, as will paying your rent or other bills by the due date.  If you find yourself struggling at the end of the month, prioritize your debts.  Pay the car payment in its entirety, and send American Express the $20 minimum payment.  Don’t squeak by with small payments every month, though – as far as credit cards go, your score is measured in a ratio of debt vs. available funds.  Paying the min will result in a finance charge, which could make your balance stagnant (providing you aren’t spending more each month).  So if your credit card limit is $5,000, and your balance has been a steady $4,500 for the past few months, your score will take a hit.

4.  Keep old accounts open.

Remember the time you signed up for a card because you wanted a free T-shirt, and then realized you didn’t need a third credit card? Keeping that account open will actually look good on your credit report.  If you don’t have to pay a fee to keep it, it won’t hurt anyway.  However, if you continually max out your cards, transfer your funds to a new card, and close the first account, your spending will look sporadic and unorganized.  Really, you can avoid this altogether by finding one or two really good credit card deals that you can use for years, but if you’ve paid off your debts on one card and really want the Delta Skymiles Platinum so you can earn enough rewards to fly to Hawaii this summer, there’s no reason to reach for the scissors just yet.

5. Keep an eye on your credit score.

This way, there won’t be any surprises.  If you see your score start to slip, you’ll be aware and can re-anaylze your spending and try to get those numbers back into good standing.  You’ll also be able to monitor your activity and prevent fraud, identity theft, or unwarranted charges.  Check out FreeCreditReport.com or speak to a financial expert to figure out where you stand right now.

Getting into these simple habits won’t just help you establish a good credit report while you’re still young, but you’ll start to develop healthier spending habits to keep your credit shining as you begin your real adult life of mortgages, car payments, and starting a family. Really, these things should come naturally, but are overlooked by millions of people, young and old, across the country.

And hey, it’s quicker than checking a Facebook minifeed, so what are you waiting for? Fill out your first credit card application, check your payment due dates, and try to get an idea of where you stand in the realm of debt and credit.

Meet the finalists of the Intel Science Talent Search, AKA the kids ruining the curve in your classes next year.

Two of the sexiest men in the world in one room. Why wasn’t I there??

This would be perfect for a spring break road trip!

Wait, that can’t be… is that… is Lady Gaga naked?

Easy steps to Amanda Seyfried’s red-carpet hair.

Need an excuse to get off the phone? Try these.

Who’s Kanye’s bald new GF?

Does this mean Kathy Griffin’s off the D-List?

Britney’s dad is not happy.

Justin Timberlake and Ciara team up to make “Love Sex Magic”

Time for roommate confessions… and you thought you had it bad.

So, in an attempt to avoid an ulcer or an unfortunate road rage incident, I vent to you, dear reader. Please feel free to join in and comment about anything–really, anything–that pissed. you. off. this week. Let it all hang out. I feel you.]

Budget cuts: It seems as though the recession has finally infiltrated the college bubble. We’ve been hearing about this horrible turn the economy has taken, but the closest we’ve come to experiencing it are reduced bar admissions. (And come to think of it, there hasn’t even been a decline in those prices…) All kidding aside, though, the economic crisis gripping the nation has, of course, affected our schools. And countless e-mails entitled “Budget Crisis Committee Meeting,” or “Plans to Cut Spending by 10% before July” skimmed over my threshold of awareness for quite some time. My professors, picking up on the general apathetic attitude, took it upon themselves to explain just what all of this meant. Apparently it means taking classes that require an intimate setting to be effective in lecture halls. It requires removing all of the phones from the English Department (yep, e-mail only!). It entails salary cuts for professors, some of whom have such prestigious reputations that they’ll gladly take their New York Times’ Best Selling butts elsewhere. Which also means that my degree won’t be as respectable as it would be if I’d had those professors or their letters of recommendation. And yet I have noticed no shortage of construction, new bronze statues or spanking new parking garages scattered around campus. Maybe if the budget were a little more prioritized we wouldn’t be facing these issues…

Line Cutters: It pissed me off in the 2^nd grade lunchroom on Chicken Nugget Day and guess what, folks? It still does! Seriously people, we learned how to mind our P’s and queue’s in kindergarten, so why am I still frustrated DAILY by some guy who called his bros and asked them to save him a spot in the 45 minute line to pick up basketball tix? And I have some advice for that girl last night who thought her urinary needs were greater than everyone else’s in line for the only bathroom at the bar–  HOLD IT! Just like everyone else in line. And no one ever said there was a rule against having your friends bring you more vodka tonics while you’re waiting…

Over-Zealous Party Hosts: It starts with the Facebook invite. It’s totally tricked out with hyper-precise directions, a really intricate theme and very specific directions as to just what B one should Y.O.B. But you know it’s not going to stop there. The party-thrower is most definitely going to text you “Hey guys! Don’t forget about my AWESOME kegger/rave/pregame/ shindig this Friday!!!!!”— every day of the week leading up to the party. Should you actually make it to said party after Happy Hour, you can rest assured that a red Solo will be practically shoved into your hand when you walk in (which isn’t such a bad thing now that I think about it…), followed by an in-depth questionnaire about the amount of fun you are having at their party. Eventually something will go wrong (as it only can when a large number of drunk people are gathered) and the host will go into full meltdown mode, kick everyone out during a huge tantrum and swear to never throw a party again. I mean, I’m all for enthusiastic recreation, but a party is supposed to relieve stress, not cause it!

Wow, it’s official: even parties piss me off. How about you? What pissed you off this week?

So, let’s bring it all out in the open. Right here. Because you are not alone - we’ve all been there before.]

The Phone in the Toilet:

You put on your cutest (and tightest) jeans for the partayyy. When you arrive at the house, you drop your jacket in your friend’s room, take a few shots and head out to the living room to mingle. Your best friend is coming late/the boy you want always texts you late-night, so you keep your phone on vibrate in your back pocket so you can feel it when it rings.

You take more shots. And more. And drink a lot of beer. You laugh, you party, you begin to feel really drunk.

And, OMG, you have to pee so badly.

You head upstairs to use the bathroom; it’s gotta be cleaner than the one on the main floor, not to mention the line is probably shorter. Ugh – it’s not. You pull your phone out of your pocket in hopes that your boy-toy has sent you a “where you at?” text message, then shove the phone back into your pocket when the door opens and two people (looking particularly happy) walk out.

You run into the bathroom, lock the door, and stumble as you attempt to pull your jeans down. Just before you get them below your knees you hear a plunk and, HolySh*tNoEffingWayOhMyGodOhMyGod, your phone is in the toilet.

You spin around and see your brand new Blackberry sinking to the bottom of the bowl. On the one hand you are happy – the bowl was empty. On the other, however, your brand new freaking Blackberry is in the toilet. And you won’t be able to get any texts from the boy!

You start to freak out. Then you realize you are standing there with your pants around your ankles, your phone in the toilet and your bladder full of beer. What do you do first? Pull up your pants? Grab the phone?

“Focus,” you tell yourself. You pull up your pants and reach into the toilet to grab your phone. Unsure what to do, you grab a giant wad of toilet paper and begin blotting the phone. You try to turn it on; it makes a really weird noise.

You continue to freak out.

At this point the line for the bathroom has gotten longer and the line dwellers angrily knock on the door. You grab some more TP, try to compose yourself and decide to find someone who can help (which is difficult since you can’t call anyone).

It isn’t until after you leave the bathroom and the next person runs in that you realize you still really have to pee.

If you are lucky, your phone is not completely screwed. If you are completely screwed, just imagine trying to explain it to your parents when you ask them for a new one.