Hablar con la mano, bro.

Have you ever been at the receiving end of some romantic advances you just weren’t that into?  Did you try to throw out subtle clues that “short and middle-aged with two kids and alimony payments” wasn’t your type?  Did this dude just not quite get it?

Well, a new study has found that men deemed as having “aggressive” pickup tactics just don’t always receive the not-interested memo as quickly as their more in-tune counterparts.  Fear not, gals, for I’m thinking you need to up the ante and throw out the most obvious “NO!” you can conjure.

Short of shouting in his face, here are a few tricks that shouldn’t fail you (and shouldn’t fail to give your onlooking friends a laugh).

Stop Him Mid-Sentence and Break Out the Faux Sign Language
Unless he volunteers with deaf children on the weekends, he’ll have no idea what’s going on and not want to find out.  Think this is an incredibly insensitive and inappropriate move?  Well think about how incredibly insensitive and inappropriate it’ll be when broseph decided to slip his hand down the back of your jeans.  You’ll be glad you whipped out the big (finger) guns.

Refuse the Drink He Just Bought You
Sometimes you’ve got to play the bitch in order to escape.  So you told him “No, thanks” when he offered to refresh your gin and tonic.  But he ordered it anyway.  Then you said “No, thanks” when he slid the new drink your way.  But he still placed it in front of you.  Don’t drink it and look in the opposite direction.  911 eye signals to your best buds should bring in the reinforcements, leaving you with a new circle to talk to. Read More »

Well, that gives us a bit of hope.

Those rescued miners are about the make the big bucks.

‘BREAKING DAWN’ CASTING ANNOUNCEMENTS!!

When your guy’s fantasies are really disturbing…

That’s a deal breaker!

The 10 worst pick-up lines ever. Really.

Girl: “I have a boyfriend.”
Guy: “I have a goldfish.”
Girl: “….. What?”
Guy: “I thought we were talking about things that don’t matter.”

There’s nothing that says I’m a creeper more than a terrible pick-up line comparing your eyes to the Pacific ocean (or the Gulf of Mexico, eeks). Maybe the only way to fix this creeper catastrophe is to take the bull by the horns…. and hope it doesn’t blow up in your face. Read More »

Every week I make a list. Not a grocery list or a to-do list…or that list, because I don’t really do groceries (there is a reason why they deliver pizza), to-do lists are totally not my scene (if such a scene even exists) and, unfortunately, I haven’t added to that list in quite awhile. My lists are more vital to your everyday lives, like the best party themes and ten things that are really annoying.

And this week, this list focuses on my favorite subject: boys.

Whenever you’re out at a party, bar or club, you always seem to spot that hottie. “The rules” tell us that we’re not supposed to go after that cutie in the button down and that they should come crawling to us with a bouquet of flowers and a box of chocolates. Hello? It’s 2010. The flowers are jagerbombs and the box of chocolates are a flock of bro-dudes that are c-blocking you from your boy of choice. Here’s 10 ways to snag that cutie and get more than some digits. Read More »

Paris Hilton is giving up her partying ways. Again.

Oklahoma not really into a woman’s right to choose.

Jennifer Hudson shows off her new son.

Do you fart in front of your guy?

Michael Vick gets a reality show!?

10 rules of the pick-up.

Every magazine we’ve ever read since childhood has spouted off Top 10 lists of where to meet men (yeah, I’m pretty sure Highlights even touched on that subject).  At this point in my life, the potential places to meet men have been pounded into my head.  Yet, I still have some issues actually getting a dude.

What am I doing wrong?

These magazines that direct us toward sports bars and dog parks are leaving out a major detail – what to do when you’re actually near a high concentration of testosterone.  It’s not enough to just saunter into the Apple store and expect any and all men to fall at your feet, begging for your phone number (and besides, that only happens when I go to ComicCon).  You have to be able to work it and divert your target’s attention away from whatever tempted him away from his XBox in the first place.  I mean, it can get pretty difficult to strike up a conversation with a guy during a spin class (it can also be pretty hard to breath during a spin class).

So, to help you out, we’ve decided to take the best of the man-heavy locations and give you suggestions as to how to utilize them effectively. Read More »

"Here's the thing about us women..."

There are so many things I’ve wanted to say to guys over the years.

Things that would no doubt make my life (and the life of the girl who came along after me) so much easier…and pleasure-filled. Or things that I never got the chance to say because the boy decided to break up with me via email instead of growing some balls and saying it to my face and I didn’t want to look like the crazy bitch who can’t handle a break up and then sends back an angry email talking about how bad he was in bed and how he’s clearly over-compensating in his life for his lack of package.

Sorry. Little bit angry right now.

The point is, if I’ve learned anything from all my he said/she said-ing, it’s that communication is key when it comes to the relationship between men and women. They can’t read our minds and we can’t read theirs.  So I started thinking about all the things I’ve wanted to say to boys over the years – everything they need to know when it comes to us ladies – and I asked my guy to do the same.

Hopefully this will clear things up for all of us and we can all live happily ever after.
Now where’s my Nobel Prize? Read More »

I’m sure every sexy CC reader has gotten the awkward “Can I have yo numba?” from a not so appealing guy. While some of you are fine with flat out saying “No,” I’m looking to all the other ladies who  decide to give up their numbers (or more…) “just to be polite.” Now as Miss Manners, I am a huge advocate of good etiquette, but is humoring a guy you’re not really interested in really being polite?

Miss Manners says: Nope. It’s better and more respectable if you’re upfront with the guy rather than lead him on out of pity/kindness.  And, let’s be honest, you don’t want to have to screen your calls for the next 6 months out of fear that he’s not moving on….

Try one of these tactics to deliver the news instead:

Lie. Ahhh… The cornerstone of all etiquette: the white lie. Apologize and tell him that you have a boyfriend or tell him you dropped your brand new Blackberry down the toilet (true story). Yes, of course lying is bad and oft looked down on, but sometimes a white lie is more forgiving than the truth – as long as you don’t get too crazy with your story (“I have a penis”) and nobody gets harmed in the process.
Be wary of: Betting caught in your lie. Trust me, it’s pretty humiliating and you could end up with the “bitch” label. And news of a bitch spreads fast.

Politely excuse yourself… and run to the nearest restroom/exit. Say, “I’m sorry but I have to go,” with an air of finality so he gets the hint.
Be wary of: Him NOT getting the hint and waiting outside the bathroom door for you. Creepy? Yes. Possible? Definitely. Read More »

I picked my last boyfriend up at the grocery store. Bing, bang, boom—some eggs, some bread, and a new dude. Sure, there was some out-of-store courting involved, but who would have thought you could actually meet nice guys at the grocery store? Or that guys even went to the grocery store?

Not me. But it turns out that great dudes are all over the place—you just have to know where to look and how to strike. Read on.

1. Smile.
This might sound dumb, but everybody’s attracted to a good smile. You can’t pick up a guy if you look sour, so flash those pearly whites. You never know when somebody cute is going to look your way.

2. Be who you wish you were.
If you’re shy but you really want to be outgoing and flirty, what’s stopping you? It’s hard to overcome labels you’ve placed on yourself, but you’re the only person who has the power to change things. So rather than slinking back into a corner, cross the room and talk to that hot dude. And hold your head up like you mean it. Read More »

Creeper [kreep-ur] -noun. 1. A person or thing that creeps. 2. A domestic fowl having malformed, short legs, due to a genetic defect. 3. An individual who stares, lurks or makes awkward and unwanted advances to undeserving women.

Today, College Candy readers, we will be learning about Creepers (definition 3…who may also fall into description #2) and what one can do to deflect their advances. We have all been at a bar or some type of similar venue and had a creeper (of varying severity) approach and had no idea how to handle the situation. Well, here’s your answer. Read More »