At 10 AM I had my morning cup of coffee and a bowl of oatmeal, read the day’s news on CNN.com, and decided that I would write a post for collegecandy.com about the best websites for procrastinating.

Cut to eight hours later: I’ve clocked about four hours of Internet browsing time and haven’t gotten any of my post for College Candy done. This is because I am an expert on using the web to waste copious amounts of time.

Here’s how I do it.

My top 5 websites for wasting time:

1. Wikipedia

I spent the summer after my junior year at Emerson working as a receptionist at a post-production office in Los Angeles. We rarely had guests and the phone only rang a few times a day, so aside from picking up people’s lunches I didn’t have much to do. Instead of doing what I should have done (using the time to write a novel or a screenplay or whatever) I decided to learn all human knowledge on Wikipedia.org. I would spend hours clicking on “Random article” again and again. I am now a master at Trivial Pursuit.

2. Facebook

This one is pretty obvious but I feel it deserves to be at the top of my list since I waste so much time on it everyday. I obsessively check Facebook. I’m not exactly sure why. I get just a handful of notices every day about new friends or events, and I don’t actually spend that much time reading other people’s profiles, but it’s the News Feed that sucks me in. I’m not sure what I’m waiting to read, but I find myself checking it again and again, just in case some crazy shit in the life of a friend went down. Read More »

So I’ve got to vent. Being a writer and all, it’s always easier for me to vent in the form of a letter, so here you go:

Dear America,

Are you a pedophile? If you could just admit that you are one, then I would at least understand your sick obsession with underage Hollywood girls and their bodies. But since you’re going to pretend like the way you view bodies and sex is normal, I have no choice but to be angry.

Miley Cyrus is supposed to feel badly about the pictures she’s recently taken. One set of pictures features her in her underwear. Another set features her showing her…her…disgustingly inappropriate…BACK.

So what if the girl took some pictures of herself in her underwear? How is that really any different from her going to the beach and having pictures taken of her in her bathing suit? Oh…let me guess…it’s about the context of it all. A girl showing her tummy and thighs when she’s NOT post-ocean and in public is out of line.

And so what if she was wearing a sheet in a photo shoot? Did her back and right arm really offend you or give your children nightmares? Read More »

I don’t know, you guys. It’s not like I hate John Mayer. In fact, I actually really love him.

I mean, to be honest, Room for Squares was the soundtrack to my summer before college. And I may or may not have been lured into a dorm room and serenaded by a lame college freshman who knew Mayer’s entire catalog by heart.

John and I…it was shameless love.

Hell, I even went to see the guy live. Yes, I was 19 and thought going to see John Mayer drone on and on about undying love was a totally good time.

But over the years I’ve gone through some major changes and so has John. We’ve both grown. Except John’s done so awkwardly. So, so awkwardly.

I thought his John Mayer Trio disheveled look was akin to your little brother discovering jazz and completely adopting the look for a year while he “explored”. Awkward.

His stint with Jessica? Yeah sure, he did it because he could. Still awkward.

Don’t get me started on his comedy career (which I actually find funny, but I think Sarah Silverman is the funniest so….yeah, awkward.)

Need more proof? Fine. Check out this hideous gallery. Read More »

I am not a freak.

I am not ugly. I am not fat. I only have one chin, and I can certainly rock a pair of jeans.

Just not in pictures.

I. Take. Horrible. Photos. In fact, I think I am the most unphotogenic person to ever grace this good earth.

Candid pictures are the enemy, and everyone knows me as the girl who “untags herself” on Facebook. Even though everyone saw me partying it up on Friday night, like a top secret spy, I erase any and all remnants of my person once the pictures hit the internet.

Why? Well, I guess you could say I have a dash of low-self esteem. Growing up, I was a chubby kid until about 7th grade.

I still remember what it’s like to have huge cheeks that turn your eyes into little slits when you smile, and I often see myself as that chipmunked-out kid whenever a photo pops up showing me grinning like a moron.

Anything that makes me look the least bit chubby is immediately deemed horrible.

But I really think there’s more to my fear of pictures than living with the normal amount of 20-something image issues. I just flat out look bad in two dimensions. Over and over, time and time again, shot after shot, my face shines like a rich guy’s shoes and my face gains about 7 pounds.

Some of you are probably shaking your heads right now, certain that I just hate myself. But honestly, if the evidence wasn’t so cringe worthy, I’d put it up right now. Just to prove my point.

Some people aren’t photogenic. And I’m one of them. Read More »

I’m a whore for pictures. I bring my camera with me everywhere, and have blinded people on nights out by taking pictures every 42 seconds. Seen those stop motion films ever? That’s a perfect example of how my nights out are documented. Love, love pictures.

And I’m still totally in awe of digital cameras. Not all the fancy-shmancy settings you can do, it’s all about the little things for me. I’m still amazed that you’re able to see the picture right away—and realize that was a really bad angle of you. You can simply erase any unflattering image that’s on there and ensure no one has blackmail material on you later. You will not be scarring my facebook image with that, thank you very much. And it’s gone. Read More »

As predicted, since yesterday’s blog about Allison Stokke, it’s evident that her unwanted Internet popularity won’t be diminishing anytime soon.

We already know that she’s a gorgeous soon-to-be high school graduate with an amazing athletic talent. And we also know that she really wishes all of this attention – the Myspace pages, the newspaper articles, the blog comments – everything that is now surrounding her, would just go away.

What we didn’t know was that the men in Allison’s life are also being affected by her sudden stardom. And since it looks like her wish to go back to being just a normal teenager isn’t gonna come true (especially with bloggers like me on the loose) let’s discuss this matter.

Being that Allison Stokke’s father, Allan Stokke, just happens to be a pretty well-known criminal defense attorney, he’s having an especially hard time with this, because he obviously wants to track down and crush every single guy who says something sexual about his daughter. Even though he hasn’t brought anyone down in the face of justice, that isn’t stopping him from scouring the Internet blogs and message boards every day, in an attempt to filter out actual and potential stalkers.

He said, “I’m probably more sensitive to these things because of the cases I’ve seen over the years,” he said. “I’m concerned that something negative could develop from it.”

Allan will undoubtedly do everything in his power to make sure nothing from the blogging world enters into his family’s reality, and that these douchebags stay as far away from Allison as possible.

Speaking of douchebags, there seems to be one in particular who is actually allowed near Allison. Many pictures have surfaced of Allison and a guy who appears to be her lucky boyfriend. Well, lucky because he gets to date her, but unlucky since he is now the butt of many cyber-world jokes and, of course, these jealous blogger fans have decided that he is in fact a douchebag, and Allison must be rid of him immediately.

The Douchebag is certainly not a rare breed of male, as we have all come into contact with douchebags in some form or another. Whether he has unsuccessfully hit on you or your friend, or you’ve dated one, or you’ve watched one at a nightclub from afar because you dare not get too close to him and his “grinding” moves, a douchebag is typically a guy who makes it obvious right off the bat that he tries way too hard to be trendy, say the right things, hang out with the cool kids and yet, he normally ends up being “that guy” who you just make fun of to your friends anyway. Wearing sunglasses at night or globbing more product into his hair than a woman would ever dream of, a douchebag lacks an heir of natural confidence and comes off looking….goofy.

So, is Allison Stokke’s boyfriend a douchebag? Bastardly.com lets you decide for yourself, with six pages of Allison and her very lucky and unlucky mystery man.

For more pictures of hot chicks with douchebags, check out a very helpful website called (surprise, surprise) Hotchickswithdouchebags.com. Don’t let this happen to you.

Allison Stokke

If you need proof of just how much media, and, more specifically, Internet blogs, now have complete control over our culture in a way that seems to hypnotize us all, look no further than Allison Stokke.

Who the hell is Allison Stokke, you might ask?

Allison Stokke is an 18-year-old California high school student, winner of the 2004 California state pole vaulting competition and University of California scholarship earner. It also just so happens that Allison Stokke is what males would refer to as “totally smoking.”

It all started with the simple snap of this picture. Now, Allison Stokke is one of the most popular searches on the Internet and has been absolutely bombarded by Myspacers, sports bloggers, journalists and creepy men alike.

The only problem is, Allison and her family hate all of this newfound attention – especially the blog on With Leather that turned her into a sex symbol literally, overnight. Soon after, Stokke and an entire article written about her made the front page of the Washington Post – a place usually reserved for actual current events, like….um….yea, that little war that’s been going on.

Stokke speaks out about her unwanted fame in this clip.

While I feel bad for this girl, (it’s not like she’s Lohan, who keeps going out at night, asking for it) she never asked for this and seems genuine in simply wanting to be an athlete and nothing more) I don’t think she should keep putting herself in the public eye. (see more photos after the jump) Read More »