We are definitely fans of Do-It-Yourself projects (we have a new one every Tuesday!). Whether it’s making your own yummy buttercream, or creating a new hairstyle, DIY activities are the best. But one thing’s for sure: you won’t be seeing us try any DIY cosmetic surgeries around here. We never even thought that was an option until we heard about a 54-year-old woman who thought she’d do her own silicone injections. Needless to say, that $10 vial of liquid silicone she bought online left less than stellar results.

And she thought those wrinkles were bad….

I’m pretty confident I don’t need to warn CC readers of the dangers of DIY cosmetic surgery (I’d like to think you are smarter than the average desperate 54-year-old), but just to be safe, let’s break down a few things that should never be DIY.

Piercings
Although this act may be seemingly harmless, it is far from it. Some piercings come dangerously close to major arteries and nerves, so a centimeter off and you’re screwed. Professional piercers know a lot more than you think about the body (like, I don’t know, the few places you should NEVER poke a hole), so the few extra bucks you have to spend to have them puncture you is definitely worth it.

Tattoos
Tattoo artists have proper equipment, experience and education. So, unless you are a legally certified tattoo artist, do not even attempt to play around with ink and needles at home. That goes for you, too, Rihanna!  There are severe risks involved with getting tattoos done professionally, so imagine the potential consequences of a DIY tattoo. And I’m not just talking about spelling something wrong or ending up with a brown blob on your arm. We’re talking blood and needles here, people; a DIY tattoo could lead to infections, disease, and a permanent thing on your body that just did not come out the way you expected.

Alcohol:
Getting drunk without spending any money sounds really cool, but it is a no-no. So it may not be as dangerous as giving yourself a tat, but it’s still not smart. You’re most likely not going to do it correctly, you’re not going to get drunk, and you’re probably just going to get sick. (Take it from me…) That’s why we have liquor stores. If you want to get creative with alcohol, make jello shots or margaritas.

Waxing
Some people may disagree with me on this one, but I am a firm believer in leaving this mess to the professionals. However amazing those Sally Hanson boxes look with those perfectly hair free models on them, I will not be fooled. Waxing at home = one big messy, gross disaster. It’s impossible not to get the wax everywhere (which is especially dangerous when your nether regions are involved). Plus, the results aren’t going to be nearly as good as those from a regular salon and definitely not worth the risk of dripping that hot, hot wax all over your sensitive skin. I’m telling you, bubbly skin ain’t pretty.

I don’t mind conflict of opinion, but notice a lot of people go beyond the reprimand of “If God intended you to have holes in your body, you’d have been born with them” and insist on inflicting their biased views upon the recipient in a selfish and unabashed demeanour.

Unfortunately that recipient often turns out to be me. I don’t particularly mind someone asking me about one of my body jewellery efforts, and with no shortage of studs to choose from (lip, tongue, navel, ears and nipple) I can understand the curiosity of the non-pierced wishing to delve into the mind of someone who thinks a few holes here and there are actually quite pretty.

However, when complete strangers start spouting mind-numbing ignorance such as “Was your tongue sore when you got it pierced?” or “Does that silver thing not hurt you?”, I feel like giving said ignorant individual a rather large shake whilst shouting “DUUUUUUUH!” and possibly crossing my eyes and drooling a little, just for effect.

To be honest, I find it hard to explain exactly why I find body jewellery so appealing. Maybe it’s a cross of aesthetic looks and individuality. And then, of course, there’s the sexual enjoyment – not to everyone’s taste, but having a mouth piercing here and there can sensitise things for the (lucky) recipient. Above all, doing so is completely safe as long as precautions are taken. I’ve never had any bad experiences of studs, bars or rings being ‘ripped out’ due to frenzied attacks on the opposite sex, nor have I developed any weird diseases, odd side effects, or hairy palms (oh wait, I’m getting that last one confused with something else…).

The difficulty with explaining the sexual part to someone – adults especially – is the assumption that because I have it, I’m going to flaunt it. Not necessarily. You’ll find I’m not one for constantly ramming my tongue down throats, and that I don’t discuss such things with many people, if any at all. Despite the statements I make with my body art, I’m completely harmless. Honest.

What do you think about body piercing? Do you have any? What do your parents think? Let us know!