We are definitely fans of Do-It-Yourself projects (we have a new one every Tuesday!). Whether it’s making your own yummy buttercream, or creating a new hairstyle, DIY activities are the best. But one thing’s for sure: you won’t be seeing us try any DIY cosmetic surgeries around here. We never even thought that was an option until we heard about a 54-year-old woman who thought she’d do her own silicone injections. Needless to say, that $10 vial of liquid silicone she bought online left less than stellar results.

And she thought those wrinkles were bad….

I’m pretty confident I don’t need to warn CC readers of the dangers of DIY cosmetic surgery (I’d like to think you are smarter than the average desperate 54-year-old), but just to be safe, let’s break down a few things that should never be DIY.

Piercings
Although this act may be seemingly harmless, it is far from it. Some piercings come dangerously close to major arteries and nerves, so a centimeter off and you’re screwed. Professional piercers know a lot more than you think about the body (like, I don’t know, the few places you should NEVER poke a hole), so the few extra bucks you have to spend to have them puncture you is definitely worth it.

Tattoos
Tattoo artists have proper equipment, experience and education. So, unless you are a legally certified tattoo artist, do not even attempt to play around with ink and needles at home. That goes for you, too, Rihanna!  There are severe risks involved with getting tattoos done professionally, so imagine the potential consequences of a DIY tattoo. And I’m not just talking about spelling something wrong or ending up with a brown blob on your arm. We’re talking blood and needles here, people; a DIY tattoo could lead to infections, disease, and a permanent thing on your body that just did not come out the way you expected.

Alcohol:
Getting drunk without spending any money sounds really cool, but it is a no-no. So it may not be as dangerous as giving yourself a tat, but it’s still not smart. You’re most likely not going to do it correctly, you’re not going to get drunk, and you’re probably just going to get sick. (Take it from me…) That’s why we have liquor stores. If you want to get creative with alcohol, make jello shots or margaritas.

Waxing
Some people may disagree with me on this one, but I am a firm believer in leaving this mess to the professionals. However amazing those Sally Hanson boxes look with those perfectly hair free models on them, I will not be fooled. Waxing at home = one big messy, gross disaster. It’s impossible not to get the wax everywhere (which is especially dangerous when your nether regions are involved). Plus, the results aren’t going to be nearly as good as those from a regular salon and definitely not worth the risk of dripping that hot, hot wax all over your sensitive skin. I’m telling you, bubbly skin ain’t pretty.

There are so many things wrong with this.

First of all, why are nipple rings setting off the alarm? I understand that the TSA has to be thorough (and I’m glad they are, even if they always put my very semitic father in the terrorist box before boarding a plane…but that’s another issue), but my understanding of this is that they are sensitive to people having metal on or in their bodies than cannot be removed. Yes, a nipple ring is a superfluous example, but there are lots of people who had surgeries that caused their cyborgness. And they have to take planes too.

My next issue with this is that they actually made her remove it. In the airport. WITH PLIARS. So completely dangerous to this woman’s health. Removing piercings in an unsanitary place is just asking for trouble, and a nipple piercing where the skin might have grown around the piercing? It makes me squeamish just thinking about it.

And the humilation! Oh my God. Why did they need her to do such a humiliating thing in public? And according to the article, like the jerkoffs that they are, the male agents who made her do this in the first place were laughing at her. These are people who are supposed to be maintaining public safety. It sounds like they’re more interested in being sadistic assholes.

I hope she sues their asses off.

And I hope her new nipple piercings aren’t too painful.