There is nothing more comforting than a woman’s lap. A woman in a mini skirt, obvi. I know I can’t sleep without a lady crotch in my face. So, for the guys and girls who can’t get a real woman, some nice man created these pillows.

Who the hell thinks of this ish?

Apparently these pillows, made by Durex, are supposed to turn boys into men by helping them last a little longer.

We’re all for that, because our resolution this year is to actually orgasm from sex, but really? Isn’t there a better option? Like, I don’t know, finding a guy who can last longer than 3 minutes without mental images of his mom running through his head?

There’s just got to be a better way. Imagine waking up next to that in the morning. I’d rather give myself the orgasm.