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As a college student, I think it is most important that we all sit down once and a while and think about all the things we’ve learned in our years. Not necessarily academic things, because lord knows I don’t remember a thing from freshmen year, but the important things: life, love, the pursuit of happiness, etc. etc.

I do this quite regularly during classes (I think it’s called “zoning out” or “not paying attention”), and recently realized the most valuable lesson I’ve ever learned.

Now please pay very close attention and re-read if necessary, because what I’m about to share with you is very, very valuable and apparently very, very difficult for college students to grasp:

Sweatpants are not meant to be worn in public, ever.

Before you even utter the word “comfortable,” bite your tongue. They are unflattering, lazy, and meant to be worn at home. Anything that has the word “sweat” in it should not be worn in public, and that should have been self-explanatory.

I don’t mean to reprimand you, dear reader…you know I love you…but I can’t go on in a world like this. The next person I see with “Juicy,” “Victoria’s Secret,” “Pink” or any other word written over their derrière, gets pantsed.

To avoid public humiliation, browse through these photos of unforgivable fashion.

initiating the gallery...

This popped up on my Pandora page, and I couldn’t help but be distracted by it.  Playtex’s current ad campaign is based on the idea that “every woman’s body is different,” and at first glance it’s a pretty standard tampon ad. Lots of pink and girly girls – note the skirts and long hair. But if you look at this ad, you’ll see that two out of the three female figures depicted here are almost identical, just posed differently. The woman in the middle and the one on the right are both very slim. They are ideal according to the “thin is in” mentality glorified in the media, but in all likelihood quite a bit smaller than the average American woman. The woman on the left is the only who looks “different,” as her silhouette is significantly more curvy than the others featured in the ad. (I’ll be using “curvy” as a very relative term – obviously, the “curvy” woman here is really pretty average, but she’s rather curvy in comparison to the other women in the ad.)

This is a tampon ad, and obviously a woman’s physical appearance has nothing to do with what type of tampon is right for her. But because it presents a picture of female silhouettes, in which we can see only the superficial outlines of three bodies, the focus of this ad becomes female body size and shape.

Each female figure in the ad is paired with an adjective. The curvier woman is described as “empowered,” while the other two women are “chill” and “bubbly,” respectively. This ad is supposed to be about “different” body types, and yet the female figures we see are characterized using adjectives that describe their personalities. What does a woman’s body type have to do with her personality? The prominent placement of these adjectives directly above the women’s heads presents this strange connection between physical appearance and personality as obvious and simple.

What really got me thinking was the fact that the ad’s token curvy girl is described as “empowered.” This isn’t a negative adjective. In fact, I would be flattered if someone used it to describe me. But “empowered” is very different from “chill” and “bubbly.” “Chill” and “bubbly” are adjectives that sound fun and friendly. They make the thinner girls seem like they’d be fun to hang out with (if they weren’t cartoons). “Empowered,” on the other hand, is more a state of mind or state of being. While it might be a positive description, it says nothing about whether this woman is friendly, or if she would be fun to hang out with. “Chill” and “bubbly” are light, casual words. But “empowered” carries more weight. And this ad is all about fun, pink girliness. So what makes the curvy woman so different? Why didn’t she get a fun adjective? Is this curvy girl “empowered” because she is confident despite the fact that movies, magazines and the internet tell her she should be different?

Maybe Playtex’s intent here was to celebrate all body types, and say that curvier women should feel empowered, because they’re beautiful. But if that’s the case, then why doesn’t the ad actually feature a range of body types? What I see here are two skinny girls and one “alternative” body type. This ad says that curvy is ok, too, but skinny wins out two to one. If that’s not the case, then why create this skinny vs. curvy dynamic, with one clear outsider? It’s just too coincidental that the one different-looking girl was assigned the unusual adjective.

Finally, the point of the ad is to promote three sponsored Pandora stations that listeners can choose from. You are supposed to drag one image/word combination to the box to play the station. The image and word cannot be separated. So, potential listeners are not choosing a body type or an adjective, they’re choosing a body type and an adjective together.

What does that say to women who identify as curvy and bubbly? Or skinny women who would rather be empowered than chill?

Obviously Playtex could never design an ad that would really include all body types, because they’re right, every woman’s body is different. But this is a product designed for and marketed to women. The very least they could do is treat us as intelligent, individual consumers and stop equating outer appearance with inner attributes. That might make me interested in their product.

Britney Spears. Lindsay Lohan (now simply known as ‘Lindsay’). Michael Jackson. Tom Cruise. There have been some pretty major meltdowns before Charlie and there will be some pretty major meltdowns after him. But who will be meltdowning? Well, I’m glad you asked. Because that’s just what this week’s Weekly Ten is trying to predict.

Let’s have a look.

10. Rebecca Black. Honestly, I barely even know who this girl is. But her name is all over Twitter and apparently she’s the new Justin Bieber? Or the most hated Tween in the world? Whatever. It’s only a matter of time before this young soon-to-be-celeb melts down.

9. PINK. She’s on here only because of a recent tweet she posted after Cristina was arrested. “Out of Myself, Britney and Christina — didn’t everyone think I was gonna be the troublemaker? LOOK MA!!! NO CUFFS!” Funny, Pink. Very Funny.  I was amused. But don’t count your crazy chickens before they’ve hatched.

8. Justin Timberlake. Justin seems like a pretty stable guy. He’s funny, a decent actor, and a hell of a singer. But he’s also single for the first time in months. And having that many girls after him is bound to lead to a mental breakdown or two.

7. Taylor Swift. T.Swift plays the sweet and innocent card really, really well. But after her last album, we all know the deal. Those songs she writes in response to the boys that broke her heart? Her all out attack on Camilla Belle in “Better Than Revenge”? If something doesn’t go her way and she’s not set to release a new album anytime soon, you know it’s meltdown city.

6. Justin Bieber. He’s a young, successful, relatively cute teen heartthrob dating another young, successful, relatively cute teen heartthrob. This can only end one way.

5. Jennifer Aniston. This poor girl just can’t seem to keep a boyfriend. Brad Pitt. Vince Vaughn. John Mayer. There’s only so many bad movies and bad relationships a girl can take before she starts to break down. I know she cut her hair recently, but let’s hope she doesn’t pull a Britney anytime soon, you know?

4. Ronnie. It’s coming. And it’s fueled by protein powder and Jager. Watch out, Seaside!

3.  Usher. Apparently there’s a sex tape going around of Usher and his ex-wife. And apparently the release of such a sex tape may or may not lead to some very unflattering realizations about Usher. If that doesn’t lead to a meltdown, what will?

2. Brad Womack. Here’s the thing. I’ve never been a fan of this guy to begin with. And not because he crushed poor Deanna’s heart; mostly because he has no personality whatsoever and is a really big bore. But even I had hope that maybe, just maybe, he had found love. That is until sweet little Emily tore his heart out. Then I felt bad for him. And now, well, now I’m wondering when exactly Brad is going to snap. Or, as his family puts it, when we’ll all “wake the bear.”

1. Miley Cyrus. Miley’s meltdown is a long time coming. We’ve been waiting for it ever since her Disney days of Hannah Montana. We’ve had scandalous photo shoots, scantily clad outfits, mouthing off to the media, and now parental alienation. Miley is one bad romantic relationship away from a meltdown. And I think we’re all just waiting for it to happen.

I don’t know why I still act surprised when something crazy happens with celebrities.  It’s not really shocking anymore, but some things do give me a “if this shizz didn’t happen all the time, I might be surprised” kind of vibe.  This week Lindsay Lohan seems to be doing well in rehab, Kanye lost it once again, celebs are pregnant, and Taylor Swift is still with Jake Gyllenhaal (and still can’t sing).

Giant Slurpee

1. Kanye West lost it this week after an interview with Matt Lauer on The Today Show about his comments on George W. Bush.  Matt did a long interview with the former president, where he revealed that Kanye calling him a racist “was one of the most disgusting moments of [his] presidency.”  So when Matt talked to Kanye about the situation, he freaked out.  Then he took to his Twitter for a meltdown saying that Matt tried to force his answers (in all caps mind you) and many other outrageous tweets.  Someone needs to get Kanye a sedative.

2.  Is Pink! pregnant? Rumors say yes!  The rock/pop star and husband, Carey Hart, are possibly expecting their first child!  Although the couple has made no official statement, sources are claiming this rumor is true.  Good Day L.A. host Jillian Reynolds tweeted to Pink! that she’s so happy for the couple, and Carey spilled the beans on the baby!  Hopefully we’ll find out the truth soon enough because these two would have one seriously talented child.

3. Taylor Momsen blames her parents for her attitude and craziness.  In a recent interview, Taylor said her parents put her in a Ford modeling agency when she was two, so that’s to blame for her um, interesting, behavior.  Really?  You seemed just fine when you were playing Cindy Lou Who and Little J.  But honestly, where are her parents?

4. Rachel Weisz and Daniel Craig? No, sorry!  Shortly after Rachel split from longtime boyfriend Darren Aronofsky, rumors flew that she was getting down with 007.  Well, she’s not.  A source says that they’ve been friends for a very long time since their days in theater together.  Plus, Daniel Craig is engaged to producer Satsuki Mitchell.

5. Is John Mayer’s new lady Giada de Laurentiis? Not even close according to both sides!  This story came out of nowhere from Star magazine where a supposed eyewitness saw the two together in New York.  Well, Giada is married and happily so according to her, and John Mayer’s camp denied the claim as well.  Hey tabloids, please do some research thanks!

Mini Sample

1. Newlywed and mom Kendra Wilkinson’s recent Playboy cover isn’t so recent after all!  Turns out the shoot in the magazine is actually from a few years ago before the bombshell left the mansion (sneaky!).

2. 50 Cent was spotted this week visiting rumored girlfriend Chelsea Handler on her set.  Things have been so sketchy between these two, what’s happening?!

3. Michelle Williams, star of Blue Valentine with Ryan Gosling, stands by the film as it is even though it received an NC-17 rating.  Harvey Weinstein is appealing the decision to get an R, but Michelle doesn’t want it to be edited!  I want to see how it got an NC-17 in the first place, that’s scandalous!

4. Lindsay Lohan has been seen spending time with her father Michael Lohan while in rehab, and things are looking good.  The actress has been granted permission from her doctors to do a photo shoot next week.  We’re pulling for you lady!

5.  In honor of ABC Family’s Harry Potter marathon: here’s Daniel Radcliffe looking hot on his new film, The Woman In Black.

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Oh kids, do I have something special for you this month! Spectacular things are going on in the world of music right now. I scroll through my iTunes store and favorite music blogs and just get hit again and again with great new song after great new song. I can barely keep up!

In case you’ve been too busy cramming for midterms, searching for that perfect Halloween costume, or just getting mentally, physically, and emotionally prepared to head back home for Thanksgiving – here’s a quick recap of pretty much all the exciting news in music you’ve been missing out on. Rest up, peeps; November is gonna be a big month!

-Fabulous artists like Bruno Mars, Lil Wayne, and Chiddy Bang all released albums within the last couple months. Bruno Mars’ new single “Grenade” is especially one to check out.

-Rihanna’s fifth studio album, LOUD, is scheduled to be released November 16 and if the rest of the tracks are as hot as her latest single, “Only Girl (In the World),” this albums is going to be killer.

-Pink released the first single, “Raise Your Glass,” off her greatest hits collection entitled Greatest Hits… So Far!!!, which is also scheduled to hit stores November 16. (Do I smell a battle of the divas?! Oh wait, that’s just my new shampoo…)

-Ke$ha premiered her first single, “We R Who We R,” off her upcoming album Cannibal, which hits stores November 22. If you like Ke$ha (or brushing your teeth with a bottle of Jack) at all, you’ll love this one.

-Some other big names in music coming out with albums to watch for this month include: Kid Cudi (on the 9^th), Kanye West (on the 22^nd), Nicki Minaj (on the 23^rd), and the Black Eyed Peas (on the 30^th).

Pheww!—almost lost my breath there for a second. Can you handle all of this excitement? The best part about all this is, this music was practically made for drinking. That’s why this month’s pre-party playlist features just some of these artists’ feel-good, totally danceable, totally new tracks and more.

So grab a drink, raise your glass, and then click here for this month’s playlist to–in Pink’s words–“get the party started!”

Somehow you ended up with four 9am classes this semester. WTF? You can barely get up for your kickboxing class at noon on Fridays, and someone expects you to make it to class (ready to learn!?) by 8:50am the rest of the week?

Oh hell no.

You hope your professor doesn’t expect you to look presentable. Hell, he should just be happy you left yourself enough time to brush your teeth. Your morning routine is always the same: you roll out of bed at 8:30, grab the first pair of sweats you can find on the floor, throw your hair into a ponytail and run out of the house. You pop into the campus coffee shop en route to lecture and grab a coffee (“Giant, please!”) and something to munch on (“Give me the butteriest bagel you’ve got back there”).

What? It’s early and you need comfort.

You slide into your seat just as the Power Point appears on the wall in front of you. If it weren’t for the food, you’d probably fall right back to sleep – you’re just so comfortable. When class is over, you go to your next class, or to the library, or home for a nap. Whichever you choose, you sport the sweats for the rest of the day: through the classes, the breaks, the meals…

You spend so much time in your sweatpants during the week, in fact, that when the weekend comes and it is time to wear something that doesn’t say “Pink” across the ass you have trouble getting into them. No, not motivating yourself to get dressed; actually getting into them. After the first few weeks of classes your clothes feel a bit snug but you can still make em work (“I must have shrunk these a bit in the dryer….”). As the semester wears on, however, putting on your going-out-jeans has become a sweaty workout.

When the pants stop moving at your thighs, you begin to pull harder. You grab the belt loops and yank, squeezing your thighs, butt and belly into the denim sausage casing. Then you jump around a bit. Then you lay on the bed and see if that helps. If you finally do get those suckers closed, you start lunging around your room, doing squats, and sitting down to see if the denim gives a little bit.

It does not, but you’ve already tried on every other pair in your closet and these fit the best. You decide they will have to do. You throw on a loose shirt on top (to camoflauge the muffin top), throw back a few more drinks and head out.

Your legs and feet begin to fall asleep at some point in the night due to decreased circulation. You have trouble bending your knees to get up the stairs to exit the bar. Your jeans nearly tear as you sit in the cab. When you finally get home and peel those things off  – and notice the deep red line across your belly – you know you’ve got to do something.

It is then that you vow never to wear sweats to class again; those elastic waistbands are far more forgiving of the donuts, the bagels and the sugary Fraps you fill yourself with on a daily basis. (Note: when sober you also realize that cutting those things out of your diet may be a good idea, too.)

We know how you feel. We’ve all had the sweat pant weight gain before. Just get up for that kickboxing class and you’ll be OK.

So if you watched the VMAs last night, you saw Taylor Swift’s yawn-inducing performance.  When she took the stage and that reel of last year’s run-in with Kanye began to run, I was probably thinking the same thing as you.  Wait, you were actually surprised to find out she wrote a song about someone who did her wrong?  Right, because she’s never tried that one before.  (Ahem: Tears on My Guitar, You’re Not Sorry, Picture to Burn, Should’ve Said No…shall I go on?)

I’ll be honest, while blond country-pop crossover phenomenon was up there strumming away, I waited on the edge of my seat for Kanye to pop out (also barefoot) and join her for a few notes. And after I realized that wasn’t going to happen, I spent the rest of that dreadful performance thinking of the other great artists out there who should have been in the spotlight instead.

Pink
Talk about one talented lady who was totally overshadowed at this year’s VMAs.  Not only is she tough stuff, Pink has been belting out tunes and hanging from tightropes and doing all crazy stunts lately.  I would have loved to see her tear it up on MTV with something a little more exciting than strumming a guitar on a chair.  You know she would have delivered.

Katy Perry
Granted she did get a couple nominations, but sadly Ms. Perry didn’t walk away with any moon men.  Putting aside the fact that I’ve been completely obsessed with Teenage Dream lately, I think she would have put on a great end-of-summer performance.  Maybe a cameo from Russell Brand as back-up dancer or a duet with Snoop to California Gurls… Would have been pretty amazing.

Miley Cyrus
Oh wait, JK.

The Black Eyed Peas
Seriously, what happened to them?  Did I miss the break-up memo?  Since Will.I.Am has been celebrating a hit with Usher this summer, it seems like the rest of the group has been sitting back.  The VMAs would have been a great opportunity to have the whole gang come back with a stellar performance.  They could have introduced a new song, gotten crazy with the pyro, or Fergie could have worn a hideous ensemble while doing backflips.  I mean, I could be making fun of her camel toe right now instead of hating on Taylor Swift.  Totes better.

The Black Keys
Oh, how I lust for these guys’ music.  It’s indie done right.  They won for Breakthrough Video and I certainly think a stage performance would have gone so well.  While Taylor put me to sleep while she waxed poetic on Kanye West’s morals, The Black Keys could have kicked a little ass and rocked out.  And if you haven’t seen the video in full, watch it and tell me that little kid who “smells like ranch dressing” isn’t the cutest ever.

For some reason, whenever summertime hits I flock to Victoria’s Secret like a freshman to a kegger. It is inevitable that I get there and push past everyone to get to the keg underwear bin. Then tear those $2.99 panties out of that other girl’s hands.

Don’t judge.

Seriously though, Victoria’s Secret is so amazing for summer, especially the PINK line. All of the bright colors, soft breathable fabric, and summer-licious patterns. There’s just something about the store. I’m going to go ahead and blame the countless dollars I spend there on all of the fumes from Love Spell they spritz in the beauty section…

Excuses, excuses, excuses.

Regardless, the summer-outfit-go-to paradise always has the funnest (yes, funnest) clothes out there; fun, flirty and youthful. So I took it upon myself to really buckle down during Finals Week and seek out the most bomb diggity deals on the cyber racks of Victoria’s Secret. Whatever that secret is.

I’m always a number one fan of PINK’s sweatpants and these are confirming my dedicated loyalty to the comfy pants. Since you don’t have razor vision, these are made with intricate waffle material. Yum. And the chrome ‘Love’ at the hip is just enough to dress them up and express my own love for the pair.

This is too hot to trot. And too hot to pass by.  And for being only $15.50, a completely sinful purchase. Not to mention, this baby comes in a variety of amazing colors (blue, yellow, pink, navy) and probably a free summer beach pass. What sane lifeguard wouldn’t want you coming back to the beach, again…and again…and again after he sees you strutting your stuff in this sexy number?

You can always count on Vickie’s Secret to make every outfit drool worthy. This top in particular is so subtly sexy and saucy I want it in every color.

Oh, my dear jeggings. Let me in on Victoria’s Brittany’s secret: If you haven’t reached a jeggings phase yet, it is about time you do. They are AMAZING, comfortable and work with every outfit.

I’m so infatuated with this shirt. It’s funky, the colors are yummy and sensual and I.Want.It. This shirt is a perfect indication that it’s time to get your tan on. How good would this look with a sun-kissed glow?!

Now I’m having a love affair with this shirt.  The intricate simple detail is sexy and innocent. For summertime this beauty is definitely perfect for a sultry day.  Airy, fresh, and fierce. Pair it with a comfy pair of dark jeans and hit the town, sister. Cheers to you.

Since I’m a casual-hound, I’m loving this laid back top for only $12.99. Whether you are sitting outside reading a book or have to quickly run to the grocery store for limes and gin – this topper is perfect for a quick outfit.

I’ve been a sucker for funky patterns lately and this satisfies my craving. You could wear this top out for happy hour and pair it with a crisp cute pair of white shorts. Or you could rock it at night with some black skinnies and a hot pair of heels.