Am I alone in feeling like New Year’s Resolutions are always the same?  You want to lose weight, you decide to keep on top of your class readings…maybe you’re going to take up a new hobby or find a boyfriend.  Yaaaaaawn!  I think this year you, and the rest of humanity, should take on some serious resolutions.  Like Oprah-sized resolutions.  Ones that will positively impact society throughout the year, and hopefully for years to come.

Need a little help thinking of something that’s more charitable than you trying to fit back into your pre-college skinny jeans?  Well, you’re in luck because I’ve come up with this little list of suggestions…

Boycott Ke$ha
A relatively simple move that can only have positive ramifications for future generations and any alien life forms who travel to our world light years from now.  How would you like your child (or some little green dude) picking up a CD made by someone with a dollar sign in her name and listen to a track like “Party at a Rich Dude’s House”?  They would actually think that you and everyone you knew actually listened to and liked a girl with hair extensions and crack eyes.  Now, we can’t be having that.

Give Freshmen a Shot
At getting in your panties, at getting to the keg, at getting a chance to speak in class.  Whatever it may be, try not to forget the younger people.  You were once in their position, too.  New on campus, unsure of the social hierarchy of frat parties, always on-time with your assignments, often ignored by everyone of legal drinking age.  Make someone’s dreams come true this spring.  And remember, stealing some little dude’s virginity is a good deed.

Petition to Get a Pinkberry on Every Corner
Seriously, have you ever eaten this swirly goodness?  Have you had the privilege of selecting your own toppings and devouring a giant cup of low-fat possibly-yogurt with zero guilt?  Do you have your frequent customer punch card!?  Girlfriend, you’re missing out.

Convince MTV to Stop Giving Pregnant 16 Year-Olds Television Shows
So you’re a hobag who f*cked someone’s cousin in the bathroom at Lisa Masterson’s Sweet Sixteen party.  I guess condoms weren’t part of the goody bag, because nine months later you’ve got a kid and a baby daddy.  Should you stress?  In a normal world, yes.  But in the crazy reality-TV society we live in, you get a massive payday and D-List celebrity stardom.  Ummm…can we just do something to fix this, please?

Attempt to Become Less Dependent on Facebook
Get that look off your face, I said “attempt”.  You don’t need to quit your status updates and newsfeed refreshes cold turkey, but maybe we could possibly, all together, try to spend a teeny-tiny little bit less time on Facebook.  It would be baby steps.  But think about how much better life could be if you actually get out and enjoy your friends IRL (that’s “in real life”).

Wear Jeans at Least Once a Week
Yeah, we know it’s all about hangover comfort when it comes to class couture. But it won’t kill you to once in a while throw on a pair of jeans during the week. It will instantly make you feel more mature and more ready to start the day. Oh and you’ll also be able to avoid the spring break squeeze because you’ll feel it right away when that zipper starts acting up when it comes to zipping it up.

I myself am stressed to the max with work and am not at all appreciative of the bags under my eyes right now (I look a little something like this). I swear I saw my first wrinkle today. And then I cried.

All I want is a little R&R so I can be fully recharged and ready for Spring Break. After all, you need to look and feel your best before you go off and party for an entire week (duh). I’d love to just take a day and chill out at the spa. Relaxing music, soothing body treatments, a little “me” time is all I really need to feel better and look a whole lot more rejuvenated.

Too bad I’m in college and have to spend all my money on tuition instead of a fancy $80 facial or $60 body exfoliate. But that’s OK, because with a few key ingredients and a couple of hours, I can bring the spa and relaxation to me. And you can too, sister.

Here are a few DIY recipes and tips to create the perfect spa day that will have you feeling less stressed and more relaxed, guaranteed!  It worked wonders for me and now I no longer look like the Wicked Witch and look (or feel like I look) more like this.

What You’ll Do
1. Turn off your cell phone. Yes, do it. I dare you. The freedom and relaxation that comes from not hearing your phone buzz every few minutes is amazing.

2. Turn on some smooth jams. I prefer Miss Norah Jones (she’s the bomb.com). But if you really want that spa ambiance, turn on Spa Radio station on Pandora Radio so you really feel like you’re at a pampered place.

3. Detox your bod by drinking tons of ice-cold water throughout the day. Add some cucumber slices for a crisp taste and spa feel.

4. Scrub up with the Lemon-Brown Sugar Body Scrub (recipe below).

5. Freshen your face with the Citrus Facial (recipe below).

6. Sit back, kick your feet up, and relax with a bowl of organic fro-yo with fresh fruit.

7. Leave the “spa” feeling refreshed, rejuvenated and ready for whatever the week has to offer.

Lemon-Brown Sugar Body Scrub
Body scrubs exfoliate the skin, which can help remove toxins from your body (like the ones from all those games of beer pong and late-night TBell runs)! Scrubs also remove dead skin, leaving your skin with a renewed, healthy, and natural glow.

What You’ll Need
1/4 cup coarse brown sugar
1 cup grapeseed oil
1/4 cup grated lemon peel

What You’ll Do
1. Mix together all ingredients. The brown sugar will help to exfoliate the skin, the grapeseed oil will moisturize the skin, and the lemon peel will create a tingly feeling that stimulates your senses.
2. Gently rub on your body.
Tip: Scrubs can be very messy and goopy, so use this in the shower or bath for easier application.
3. Rinse with water.
4. If you want to make a bigger batch, multiply all ingredients by 4 and store in a cute jar. Mason jars work best for a retro, vintage feel, and will add that extra unique touch to your homemade scrub. You can find Mason Jars at Walmart and other home stores.

Citrus Facial
This facial, like the body scrub, will remove dead/dry skin and revitalize your face. And citrus is a natural ingredient that helps further detoxify your skin (plus it smells delicious!).

What You’ll Need:
1 teaspoon lemon juice (or other citrus juice!)
2 teaspoons honey
6 ounces plain yogurt
1/4 cup oatmeal

What You’ll Do:
1. Blend ingredients.
2. Apply to face and allow to dry
3. Rinse with water and bask in your freshened face!

Recipes from OrganicAuthority.com.

A collection of thoughts from my seven weeks on the “job”:

Last week, our managing editor (who essentially runs the production process – making sure layouts are updated and distributed, giving editors deadlines, leading weekly content meetings, etc.) emailed the entire staff and informed us that our “summer Fridays” would have to be put on hold. I had been dreaming of these summer Fridays – when the day would end at 2 pm and leave my entire afternoon open for trips to the beach, strolls around NYC, really early happy hours – since the day work began. Now they were being taken away from me due to the fact that the production of our upcoming issue was moving too slowly.

I have to admit that I almost shed a tear at my desk. The rest of my friends in the publishing and journalism world get summer Fridays! Half of my friends are unemployed! Why will everyone have free Friday afternoons while I’m stuck inside developing carpal tunnel syndrome from too much typing??

What makes up (a little bit) for this disappointing turn of events is the fact that I’m being sent to a press event for a NYC-based frozen yogurt company in a few weeks. (It’s actually the same day as the College Candy party (!), and since I’m 21 (finally) you know I will be there enjoying my share of cool, summery beverages…) Anyway, back to the yogurt. I am very excited, as my summer diet consists mainly of frozen yogurts (Pinkberry, Tasti D-light, Yogurtland, the list goes on…), and I’m hoping that I’ll get to do a lot of sampling throughout the morning. I’m also pumped because I’ve been doing a lot of writing lately, and I know how cool it’s going to be to pick up an issue of the magazine in a few months and see my name in print!

On a totally different note, I’ve found the perfect way to keep myself occupied when things get slow at the office: Nail Art. Now I know this sounds inappropriate, but if you saw my office you would observe the maze-like orientation of the desks and see that I am tucked away into a pretty isolated corner that allows me to utilize my downtime in whatever way I please.

Since nail polish reeks, I don’t think that I’ll ever pop open a bottle in the office or start cutting my cuticles. But, since I normally have painted nails anyway, post-polish nail art is the best! These cute little pens can be used on TOP of nail polish (don’t apply to bare nails) to draw any design that your heart desires. Recently my fellow intern adorned her digits with leopard-style polka dots, and I drew little squiggles on mine (I’m not really an artist, but hey, it’s still fun…and it passes the time.)

I love the work that I’m doing, but as everyone knows, internships aren’t the most glamorous. How are yours comin’ along?

There’s nothing like a good old-fashioned American holiday to make you realize how alone you are in this world. Everything’s been going pretty well (according to my new post-college standards of pretty well) and I thought that for the most part I was building up quite the little social network of friends who would make me not feel quite so isolated. We would Gchat at work, grab Pinkberry here and there, perhaps even attend the occasional happy hour.

But apparently that social network of friends was a pure figment of my imagination.

July 4th came out of nowhere and everyone (people I’ve never spoken to) kept asking me what I was planning on doing. On the outside I remained calm and collected and responded with dignity; I’ll figure it out. But on the inside I was panicking like it was Halloween eve and my only available costume was sexy bunny. I would casually bring it up to my “friends” and they all would respond with excitement about boat trips with friends, annual family BBQ’s, and lake houses in states I thought were made-up. Then they would ask me what I was doing and I would mumble something about fireworks and hot dogs and anti-terrorism laws.

I started to tell myself that it would be fun to spend the day alone. I don’t even own an American flag and hot dogs give me stomach problems. This holiday really isn’t for me, anyways. But then like an 11:59 new years eve kiss potential coming out of nowhere, a former camper called me and said she wanted to do something. Sure she’s 18 and sure I had to hand pick her up from the train because her mom said so, but now at least I could say I was doing something.

Unfortunately, once I made those plans no one even asked me my plans anymore. So I went to dinner with the former camper and we talked prom and summer and being so over high school friends (except I really am because hers still call her to do things). The whole night made me feel youthful again and wise with advice for her pre-college ears. And also hostile because tourists were heading for the fireworks 8 hours early and barreling their fold-up lawn chairs into everyone on the subway.

But I can’t complain, because at least I found someone who wanted to spend the holiday with me.

I guess I better start booking my Labor Day weekend ASAP. Step 1: make real friends in NYC.

But the second time, after eating an entire medium cup filled with the “original” flavor (don’t call it vanilla, they get oddly pissed) and a few scoops of fruit, I thought, it kinda tastes like cold yogurt. Cold yogurt…but better!

Since then, I’ve been a regular customer at this low fat, low calorie chain. So regular, in fact, that I actually felt sad when the New York Times recently confirmed my suspicious that things which seem too good to be true — are.

Seems that even though Pinkberry totes itself as all natural, it really, really isn’t.

“The list [of ingrediants] includes at least five additives defined by the United Nations Food and Agriculture Organization as emulsifiers (propylene glycol esters, lactoglycerides, sodium acid pyrophosphate, mono- and diglycerides); four acidifiers (magnesium oxide, calcium fumarate, citric acid, sodium citrate); tocopherol, a natural preservative; and two ingredients — starch and maltodextrin — that were characterized as fillers by Dr. Gary A. Reineccius, a professor in the department of food science and nutrition at the University of Minnesota and an expert in food additives.”

Damn you, Pinkberry! Damn you for letting me think I was eating a natural, low calorie snack when what I was really doing was stuffing myself with low calorie chemicals that will most likely cause my liver to shrivel and heart to explode in like 8 years.

Why didn’t you just stay in LA?!

Um, obviously I couldn’t wait to take that phone call. I watch and obsess about the show enough to pretend those girls are my homies – especially the fantastic and now more frequent member, Lo. If I got her on the phone I could get all the gossip and maybe convince her to invite me out to L.A. for some Pinkberry and bonding time.

Unfortunately, I didn’t woo Lo into becoming my BFF, but I did get some insight into life in front of the camera, her life with Lauren and the reality (or not so much so) of The Hills.

How do you feel about the way you are portrayed on the show? Is that the real Lo?

“I’m pretty confident on how I’m portrayed on the show. Sometimes they go a little too far with the comments I make but I am a good friend to Lauren and I think that they show that well and I bring some comedy to the show. I am an honest person and like that in real life. I’m honest but I’m fun.”

Do you like being all over TV and magazines?

“It’s a back and forth battle. It’s a job so I know we’re doing a good job if we’re getting media, but it’s also a weird invasion of my private life. I grew up as a normal person and then to all of a sudden be thrown into this kind of world in LA is a struggle sometimes. But I have to step back and realize its okay and just a job.”

Aren’t you afraid to leave the house without full makeup, hair and a cute outfit?

“The paparazzi like to park in front of our house, so I feel like I always have to have my sunglasses or some sort of outfit on. It’s hard to go out to the grocery story in my Juicy sweats and a sweatshirt.”

Why did you decide to join the show for this season?

“Lauren and I decided to move in with in each other so it was a natural progression to start filming more. I’ve been working for MTV on and off since I was seventeen, since the first season of Laguna Beach. It was a very natural step.”

And how is it going living with Lauren? You still living in that posh apartment?

“It’s me, Lauren, and Audrina in a 1920′s Spanish style house. The issue is that we don’t have furniture yet, [but] it’s on its way. So we hang out a lot in the kitchen because we have bar stools.”

What do you think about the way Lauren is portrayed on the show? Do I know the same Lauren as you?

“I think that the Lauren you see on the show is the real Lauren, to a degree. You are always conscious of the cameras and it’s our job to give it our all. Lauren is an amazing friend and I think that that comes across really well. I think that people give her a hard time about being overly into her relationships, but most people are like that when dealing with the people that they care about.”

Any surprises we should expect on this season? Any Speidi gossip we should know about? Or, possibly, some drama of your own?

“There’s always Heidi and Spencer drama. You are going to see Spencer’s sister on the show a little bit. It’s an interesting relationship between Stephanie, Heidi and Spencer and between Stephanie, Lauren and our group of friends. You will see a little bit of drama between Stephanie and I.”

I wanted more time to chat with Lo, but unfortunately I had to catch a flight, which cut the interview short. I did, however, get the chance to ask her about the “reality” factor of the show. And it is what she didn’t say – and the fact that she didn’t answer at all – that says the most.

Pinkberry

While it has little-to-no calories, fat or anything else girls don’t want to ingest, the only ingredients Pinkberry admits to using is “pure” and “simple.” Apparently, “pure” and “simple” are now nouns.

For the past couple months, the company has been dealing with controversies and lawsuits as to what the hell this crap is made out of. Some “Crackberry Addicts” (seriously, that’s what they’re called) don’t care – they are fully satisfied with the mysterious ingredients, just as long as it helps them stay skinny. Some Crackberry Addicts are freaked out, and want to know what they’re inhaling 5 times a week.

Pinkberry is crazy popular and imitators have popped up around the country, like Snowberry, Roseberry, Berri Good, and Kiwiberri. And this controversy is so popular that Mr. Perez himself has been covering the ongoing dessert debacle, and this morning, reported the Fox News story of one New York Pinkberry location that was flooded with rats over the weekend; this does not help the company’s rep one bit.

I’ve never tried it, and I certainly don’t plan on doing so until they come clean about what they use to make it. Until then, it’s TCBY for me.

Paris better request some Pinkberry delivery before it’s too late.

Do they deliver to jails?