Anyway, these lists (lately) have been pretty mild and have settled down since my hipster-hating era. Let’s chalk that one up to me getting laid more frequently these days. Hurray! (Although, hipsters, I still am NOT impressed.)

This is not one of those lists. This week I have been pretty ticked off about, I don’t know, everything? I’d like to blame my new birth control but who knows? It could just be the weather or the fact that I fell on my face in front of about thirty people the other night when I attempted to drunkenly pounce someone and now my knee really, really hurts and I’m cranky about it and the only way I can make myself feel better is to dress up celebrities on Stardoll.com (Yes, I am aware that I’m 21 and, no, I do not care).

It does not matter. Here are the top ten things that annoy me, without fail.

10. Empty boxes left in the pantry or snack drawer at work
What the eff? When I want a granola bar and I see a box in the cupboard, I expect there to be a granola bar INSIDE the box. How hard is it to throw away an empty box after eating the last delicious S’Mores Luna bar? Seriously.

9. Ironing
Okay, can anyone else relate to this? I just feel like I’m pushing wrinkles to different spots. Extra annoying if I’m not even ironing my own clothes because for some reason I’m the designated laundry bitch in my relationship. I feel like Paris Hilton trying to be domestic – no skills.

8. Crowds
I live in the best place for that, New York City! The capital of crowds. I love when my grocery store is the size of most public bathrooms and everyone is playing bumper cars with their shopping carts. Also, a special thank you to the lady who stood in front of the dairy section for a good 10 minutes trying to decide between butter or margarine and caused a traffic jam in the entire refrigeration section because her demon child decided to take control of her cart. Thank you for making my Fairway shopping experience even more unpleasant than usual.

7. Pants
If I had it my way, I would wear a dress every day. But I can’t because of this stupid…

6. Freezing Cold Weather
It’s this time of year that I really start to envy old people. They all get to fly down to Florida and they get that cute name of “snowbirds” while I’m stuck wearing two hundred layers and six scarves and freezing my ass off. However, even this week, Florida has gotten stuck with this crappy cold weather too. (Haha! Take that, old people!) I don’t know who to point a finger at here: Global Warming or myself for ever deciding to live above the Mason Dixon line.

5. When People Don’t Respond to Texts
Okay, I understand you’re busy. But if I just need to know if I left something at your apartment, is it that hard to answer YES/NO?! Seriously. Just answer! I know you’re only occupied by eating Doritos and playing Madden.

4. No Manners
I admit, I am not always the most censored human being (shocker, right?) but I’ve been inundated with people with zero tact lately. Also an unfortunate function of New York City, it seems like everyone is born with a case of “I have a problem with everyone” itis. Seriously, would it kill you to smile? I would head back to the Midwest to see some kinder personalities, but then, of course, I have to deal with a whole crapload of #6.

3. People Who Are Good at Everything
And look really pretty at all times. And they’re really nice and involved in every activity and they saved the dolphins and they’ve been to every country in the world and they have the perfect life and the perfect job and the perfect family and they don’t even brag about it, they’re just amazing and why CAN’T I BE THEM?

2. When Gmail/Facebook Crashes
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

1. Ugg Boots
and Northfaces, slow walkers, undercooked meat, overcooked meat, orange pad thai, cold coffee, runny noses, rain, snow, humidity, the flu, swine flu, Jon Gosselin, Kate Gosselin, Michael Lohan, Survivor, spilling, falling, hangovers, nausea from the pill, pantyhose, public transportation, cabs, getting almost killed by delivery guys on bikes, reruns, the phrase “Just sayin’!”, Sweetheart Sammi from Jersey Shore, traveling, Green Bay losing, and no more holiday cups at Starbucks.

This list could go on but now I’m really angry and need to eat a spoonful of peanut butter to calm myself down.

So, in an attempt to avoid an ulcer or an unfortunate road rage incident, I vent to you, dear reader. Please feel free to join in and comment about anything–really, anything–that pissed. you. off. this week. Let it all hang out. I feel you.]

Cell phone companies: Lately, all these upbeat and happy-go-lucky cell phone company commercials (in addition to the fact that my phone has, miraculously, not been stolen for a few years) led me to lower my guard towards the vicious corporate cell conglomerates. Until yesterday.

I practically skipped out of the store getting sticky fingerprints alllll ovah my new Vu. I had barely blinked when I signed away on the $264 transaction and sold my cell-soul for another two years (I like to pretend I’m really rich when I buy expensive things that are necessary purchases…it makes parting with my very small funds a lil bit easier). Then my boyfriend called; he had dutifully been doing some comparison shopping, as he’s well aware of my tendency to impulse buy. He had found the same phone, same deal for $135… before the rebate. Naturally, I went to return my phone and buy take the cheaper deal, only to find that, no, the company could not reverse the contract they JUST processed. And, no, I could not return my phone because apparently they examine it for microscopic scratches and cite a $75 “re-stocking” fee. So it was either keep my phone, or pay to return it. After my contract expires, I’m switching to carrier pigeon.

Free-riders.  And, no, I don’t mean fun-loving motorcyclists. I’m talking about the imaginary 5th member of your presentation group, the one who never raised his hand in class to identify himself, the one who definitely didn’t come to the library to work on it, and the one who stood silently behind everyone on presentation day. Or perhaps the girl who e-mails the entire roster when she misses class (every Monday and Wednesday) asking what we covered. Maybe even the guy who sleeps next to you for the entirety of Stats and then coolly asks to borrow the notes you just painstakingly transferred into English from whatever dialect of it your teacher was speaking. Just so you know, Freeloaders, I bust my scholastic ass for the sake of my GPA—not yours.

Gym Resolutioners.  Yes, they are still there, clogging the turnstiles to get into the Student Gym. There are still hordes of girls (who are not even wearing proper exercise equipment/attire, might I add) extending the line for elliptical machines waaaay longer than necessary. There are still enough newcomers to exercise classes snapping up spaces on the sign-up sheets for kickboxing that I have to get to the gym FORTY-FIVE MINUTES before the class starts to wait in line, just so I hopefully get a spot. And they are definitely still taking my yoga classes, because whenever we do Downward Dog I hear giggling in the back of the studio. I’m all for everyone getting healthy in 2009, but come on, resolutioners, at least take working out seriously. And stop arriving in masses at 6 pm every night…I know you guys have some sort of communication signal that tells you all to stop whatever you’re doing at once and go crowd the Stairmasters!

Whew, I’m so worked up I might not even need to do Cardio today after that rant. What pissed YOU off this week?

[I like to think of myself as a pretty easy going gal, and try not to sweat the small stuff. But sometimes (ok, maybe slightly more often) the general cluelessness, carelessness and overall stupididty of some things and or/people really gets to me. I find that venting is the most efficient way to rid myself of the stress that idiots, wrong meal orders, lack of cell phone ettiquette and cheese flavored products (that don’t even contain any freaking cheese!) induce. So, in an attempt to avoid an ulcer or an unfortuante road rage incident, I vent to you, dear reader. Please feel free to join in and comment about anything–really, anything–that pissed. you. off. this week. Let it all hang out. I feel you.]

Saying “Hi” to Facebook friends. A slight differentiation from last week’s “awkward run-in.” It’s inevitable that you’re gonna see some of your Facebook buds out and about (I mean, why would you have accepted some weirdo’s friend request without some slight or vague form of acquaintance?) But therein lies the problem—the acquaintance can vary anywhere from “girl who was in your freshman stats class that you never talked to but still felt the need to add you” to “friend of a friend’s friend’s boyfriend who bought you a bottle of cabernet and therefore led to the obligatory friend acceptance.” What is the proper form of greeting for such a relationship? Will a high five suffice? A “bro” nod? A hug, hell, what about an air kiss?! I doubt Emily Post gave any specific etiquette on this 21^st century relationship, and I’m stuck awkwardly saying “Hey girl!” on the way out of the bathroom, severely questioning whether or not I actually know the person I just acknowledged….

Getting Hit in the Face with Stuff. First of all, get your mind out of the gutter—not that kind of “stuff.” Second of all, it happens to me more than you’d think. Thanks to a childhood cheerleading career, I suffered an unfortunate ratio of getting hit in the face with the football to, um, not getting hit in the face with a football. You can therefore imagine my aversion to things flying at my face (insert joke from Clueless here). What’s even worse is when said flying objects are totally unwarranted and unexpected. Like last night when I was engaged in a rousing game of flip cup and was pelted in the face with an empty Solo. The only condolence I got was a snickering apology and an insistence that “I was trying to hit the guy next to you.” At least he got kicked off of our team.

And Speaking of Drinking Games… I think that we’ve all accepted Beer Pong as an official sport (still waiting for ESPN to feature it on Sports Center, though…), but come on people, throwing a bacteria-infested ping pong ball into a cup of lukewarm Natty is not a situation of life or death. So yes, I do think that your hyphenated, asterisk-ed and f**king really long list of “House Rules” is a little over the top. I reserve the right to use my cleavage as a weapon of mass distraction and to blow the sh*t out of any ball that thinks it’s getting in my rack (yes, I know this is like an x-rated Pissed List by now) and refuse to forfeit penalty cups because you are the Stalin of drinking games. The worst part of it is, you and BOTH know you were blatantly cheating while we played quarters half an hour ago!

Blockbuster’s Late Fees. Do you guys understand how freaking excited I was when they started that whole “No late fees!” campaign?!! I’m late for everything, especially movies I watched two weeks ago. So imagine my elation when I found out that my $5 rental would no longer cost me $17 when I finally dragged my lazy butt to the little “return movies” slot. So I enjoyed this privilege for quite a while, and felt a really strange sense of victory when my account’s debt was erased when I handed the girl behind the counter my 3 week old DVD. And then I changed Blockbusters. I still get a little tear jerked when I reminisce about the time I brought in a two week past-due copy of Knocked Up only to understand the true meaning of “Participating Locations Only.” Well screw you, Blockbuster; I’m switching to Netflix. It’s cheaper anyways.

Now that you’ve added “return DVD” to your to do list, what can you add to this week’s Pissed List?

Out in Hollywood, there is a talented cross-dressing writer named Tyler Perry. Unfortunately, he is still pissed off. He has written and produced countless plays, musicals, films and TV shows – all targeting the African-American community. Tyler has created over $500M in revenues from his productions, and we can only assume he has banked a lot from that.

He bought a $5M mansion just outside of Atlanta. Yet, he is still pissed off. Tyler’s current movie “Why Did I Get Married?” ranked 2nd in Box Office revenues taking in $12.1M – yep, still pissed off. Why you ask? Because Perry’s series on TBS, “House of Payne,” is tanking.

I think 30 people are watching it, and that includes the cast, crew and family. So TBS did what any network would do – they said “Mr. Perry, your show sucks. Get it together of beat it!” Sadly, that was the wrong thing to say to the wrong person.

As if scripted from a bad network drama, the upcoming publicity battle is going to be epic.

Here is my problem, CollegeCandy has learned from an inside source that Tyler Perry is planning on throwing out the race card in protest of his show getting potentially canned. What the public doesn’t know, is that Perry had to throw in some of his own money to get the show going. Only after his own financial commitment, did the network agree to fund production.

Maybe one of the reasons why they didn’t want to fund it in the first place is because they thought it was shite…just a guess. But to claim Tyler Perry’s show is being cut because of his race, I think downplays the real prejudice in the industry.

There is an abundance of genuine instances of racism and prejudice without Tyler claiming that the network is taking advantage of another millionaire.

I tried watching this show and being hispanic, I thought I would be able to get it. Yep…I was wrong. The show is comprised of a good portion of ethnic stereotypes, mixed with traditional run-of-the-mill sitcom plot lines. Think Cosby Show, meets Family Matters meets Friends. In short, it is a pseudo-ethnic concoxion of shows that have already come and gone.

Hey Tyler…you are a millionaire several times over. Stop your whining and deal with the fact that every now and then you are going to come up with a shitty idea. 9 out of 10 of your ideas make you millions – the other one blows. Suck it up and welcome to mediocrity.