If you just started seeing someone new, chances are your relationship is going to go through some stages. These stages happen in almost every relationship (I don’t have a PhD in relationships or anything, I’m just going by my own experiences). So here are some stages that you and your new bf or gf will probably go through. And if you don’t, your relationship will probably end in a terrible break-up that has you eating a gallon of ice cream every day for a week (just kidding…you’ll only eat a gallon the first break-up night).

1. Butterflies and rainbows

So you two just started dating, and obviously everything is perfect. You want to spend every minute with each other and you can’t keep your hands off each other. You’ve forgotten who your friends are because you haven’t seen them in a week; you’re too busy being complimented on how perfect you are.

2. You meet the friends

If you already know each others friends, you’ll probably skip this. But if not, he gets to meet your friends and you get to meet his. He’ll definitely love drinking cocktails with you and your girls at your favorite Asian-fusion restaurant followed by a Grey’s Anatomy marathon. And I’m sure you’ll have a blast hanging with his bros playing XBox while drinking Red Bull and eating 4-day-old pizza. YUM!

3. Your first fight

Uh-oh. You guys went out last night and  another guy hit on you, and now your BF is upset. Or he forgot to mention that his “friend” who he went to lunch with was really his ex. It’s okay though, you won’t break up. Everybody has to fight eventually (just don’t fight like Sammi and Ronnie).

4. Sex

This stage doesn’t have to be number four. It can be number one or number five or anywhere in between, but having sex with someone new is a big thing. You’re letting them see all of you, and sex means this person most likely means something to you (unless you’re Paris Hilton or Kim Kardashian, then sex means you get a reality show).

5. I love you

This is the leap into the next stage, once you say “I love you,” your relationship is no longer new. As Carrie Bradshaw once said, “Everything before I love you just doesn’t count.”

Ah, pizza. The college delight that never fails to satisfy my cheese cravings and put a smile on my face. But what happens when people try to put a smile ON a pizza using only real ingredients? Pizza art is created! Ever since we found out about sushi art, we just can’t get enough edible fun. While it’s easy to make and gawk over this amazingly delicious art form, the hardest part is definitely giving in and eating it. Check out some of our favorites:

initiating the gallery...

If you could create your perfect pizza, what would you put on it? What pictures would you like to see transferred into saucy and cheesy form?

A presentation by the American Psychological Association on college drinking recently released some statistics that may make you spit our your beer: 1. College students intend to drink to get drunk, and 2. College students use alcohol as an excuse for hooking up. Yeah. When I said you were going to spit out your beer, I meant because you’d be laughing with me.

If you ask any frat boy at a party he’d probably have told you these shocking findings, while saving money on the research. He might also then go and give one of his bros a big hug, saying “I love you man,” behaviour if questioned on, he would likely blame on the alcohol. Because, as Jamie Foxx has figured out, it’s pretty easy to blame it on the alcohol. Which college students inevitably do. So, in case the American Psychological Association wants to save some money next time, here’s eight more things college students blame on the alcohol.

initiating the gallery...

You know, those days? When all you want to do is curl up in a ball in your sweats, sleep, watch some terrible Netflix movies and ask yourself why life can’t be like a Julia Roberts movie. (In fact, I’m having one of those days right now.) But those days are never quite complete without that pint of Ben and Jerrys, that pizza with pineapple, or tortilla chips and salsa.

Comfort food. It’s a necessity for late night binging, breakup wallowing, and rainy days with Real Housewives marathons. Everyone has a favorite, but these? These top ten classics are some comfort foods every gal indulges in at some point or another.

10. Pizza. With extra cheese. And all the toppings. Or none of the toppings.  My personal favorite is a single, original, round slice. But hey, to each her own.

9. Mashed Potatoes. Just as delicious when you have a toothache and can’t eat solid foods as they are paired with a juicy steak or with nothing at all.

8. Cheeseburger. An American classic. (Even if it wasn’t actually first created in America.) Burgers are great because they can be as quick and simple as a Big Mac or as fancy and fab as something with jack cheese and onion rings, but either way they’re delicious.

7. Grilled Cheese. Nothing quite like a 3 a.m. grilled cheese when you’re starving and there’s absolutely nothing in your fridge but well…bread and cheese. Hmm…do I have both of those right now? It’s almost three and I’m getting kind of hungry…

6. Chili. Perfect for cold winter nights. Football games. Toppings for your hot dogs. We don’t judge here, ladies.

5. Burritos. I was debating on whether to go with the quesadilla instead because I’m a quesadilla gal myself, but burritos are really more of a comfort food. Stuffed to the brim with rice and beans and meat and cheese, overflowing with juices in a wrap that never quite stays wrapped, making it the messiest of messy comfort foods. Yep. You’ve got to go with the burrito.

4. French Fries. I don’t really think that this particular food need’s an explanation. I mean it’s french fries. And french fries are classic comfort food.

3. Chicken Fingers. When I was younger the only thing I would ever order any time I went anywhere was chicken fingers. Because it was always on the children’s menu. It was simple. It tasted good. I knew what I liked. And I still do.

2. French Toast. Sure it’s a breakfast food, but it’s one of those breakfast foods that can be eaten at just about any time of the day. And the fact that I recently had a vanilla and orange infused french toast that I can’t stop thinking about at brunch a few weeks ago may or may not have influenced my decision to make this number two on the list…

1. Mac & Cheese. Number one purely because of the diversity of this cozy comfort food. Baked with breadcrumb. Heated up in a microwave. Served in a sizzling platter with three different types of cheese…mmm….

Alright now I’m hungry. Your turn. What are your favorite comfort foods? Your guiltiest of guilty pleasures? 

College students are creatures of habit. We hang out with the same people. Got to the same bars. Buy the same types of clothes. Take the same classes. And you can’t blame us really. We know what we like. We know what works. So why change a good thing, right? Right. But not only does that apply to clothes and classes, it also applies to the kitchen. Because if there is one thing that has been made a college cliche, it’s college food. We’re known for our Red bull and Ramen noodles. But hey we’re creatures of habit, and we like what we like…

Although it may not feel like it (what up gloves in March), but summer is coming. And with summer comes tank tops, short shorts and bikinis. You know you want to start getting in shape for all those beach photos, but you also know you’re not ready to cut out all your favorite snacks. After all, what is life without ice cream or cheese? What is a night out without beer followed by the drunk munchies.

Here are some suggestions on how to make your favorite and most unhealthy foods a little bit healthier. Although it’s not exactly the same, these options are still tasty AND they don’t include that guilty feeling in the pit of your stomach when you wake up the next morning spooning an empty pizza box. Trust me, you’ll thank yourself in June, when you’re feeling totally fabulous in that new string bikini.

You don’t need to give up your favorite junky foods while you’re trying to slim down — just keep these tweaks in mind and you’ll be cutting down on a lot of unwanted calories!

So in case you think you’re the only one with confused parents (why don’t you just pick up the phone and call her! Why do you always have to text everyone!?), this list will help you to see that you’re not the only constantly having to justify to your parents that slapping a bag of boxed wine is a fine way to spend a Saturday night.

1. We drink like champions

Let me just start by saying, parents will NEVER UNDERSTAND why college kids drink so much. I think we can all say that it’s a fun thing to do, a great way to meet people, and an easy way to break the ice with the cute guy across the room. Yet parents will always wonder if a kegstand is actually safe and why taping cheap beer to your hands is fun. Just accept the fact that no matter how many times you try to explain the rules of Beer Pong, parents will think that package of ping pong balls in your room is because you and your friends reaaally got into ping pong this past summer.

2. Hungry? Let’s Order Pizza!

If you didn’t make it to the dining hall before it closed or ran out of pasta to make at your apartment, pizza is usually the first thing to come to mind. Parents don’t understand that it completely normal to order pizza seven nights a week without even peeking inside the fridge. Healthy eating doesn’t really exist in college. Sure we go to the gym and sure we sometimes make sure to order chicken AND BROCCOLI from the Chinese place, but we rarely pull out the food pyramid and consult it.

3. Dating? What’s that?

Our parents grew up in an era when men held the door open for women and automatically picked up the check at a restaurant. In this day and age, they are shocked to find out that you met a hot guy at a party a few weekends ago, but have only texted back and forth a few times. The extent of a date is a swipe into the dining hall — and if you are really getting crazy maybe a movie back at the dorm while your roommate is blasting music/studying/bbming. Personally, I’m good with the random make out sessions on the weekends; the dating can wait until after college when guys are more interested in dating than how many beers they can chug in 2 minutes.

4. Hey dad? So I kind of need some money…

As we all know, everything costs money and sometimes parents don’t understand what we’re doing with that $500 they put in the bank account at the beginning of the semester. Let’s face it, college is expensive and if you ARE ordering that pizza all the time you probably will need a constant influx of money from your parents. Yet, in case your parents are stubborn, I usually just tell them I’ll pay them back in full when I become rich and famous. Gets them every time!

5. School > Home

When college kids go home for breaks or vacations, parents are usually the ones that are more excited than the students. Coming home means having an actual curfew. And worse than the curfew, it means actually sleeping alone, like no inviting your former high school flame to spend the night. They’ll never understand why you’re so excited to go back to school, nor will they ever get why we sit on the couch for our entire break watching horrible TV,  with our laptops on our lap, videochatting with all our college friends.

What about you? What are you constantly trying to explain to the parental units?

[Everyone’s got a morning after story (though most don't involve a large group of potential sorority sisters) and we wanna hear yours! Send it over to us and we’ll post it – anonymously, of course – right here!]

I love it when universities appreciate the modern college student: we wake up early, we work all day, we study hard, and we sleep late. Oh, and we like to party. Maybe not exactly like they do on Jersey Shore, but we party nonetheless.

So once a year, these universities plan a day – just one whole day a year – where they encourage even the most studious to stumble into class a little tipsy and the most punctual to skip their classes altogether. They do so by providing good food, fun games, inflatable obstacle courses and performances by headlining artists like Sean Kingston, Sara Bareilles, B.o.B, and Drake. It’s all for free and always begins on a Friday around noon. Which means the proper hydration process begins in the morning, if not the previous Thursday night.

This particular year, I woke up late. I had to make up for lost time, so it was a good thing my friends and I soaked pineapple slices in rum and vodka for the past 24 hours. (My mother always taught me to plan ahead….) We went to my boyfriend’s place just off-campus to pre-party before the big party. At least that was the plan. Unfortunately, those pineapples were a bit stronger than anyone thought and the next thing we all knew it was hours later, we were still sitting in my boyfriend’s living room, and we’d missed every single show.

But that was okay (at least to my drunk ass); we had a California Pizza Kitchen barbecue pizza in the freezer, and after an entire day of quenching my thirst, I was hungry.

I unwrapped that frozen deliciousness, popped it into the oven, and sat down on the couch as I waited for it to bake.

And then we all fell asleep.

Fast forward to the next morning when my boyfriend and I woke up in a fit of coughing to a room FULL of smoke. (Wow, way to not change your batteries in those smoke detectors, boyfriend). I started screaming and running wildly around the living room. Unable to see anything, I tripped over the coffee table and fell to the ground.

My boyfriend, on the other hand, kept his wits about him and proceeded to the kitchen. There he discovered the remnants of a burnt pizza inside the once-white oven that was now charred black. THANK GOD the oven blew the fuse of his entire apartment instead of setting it on fire altogether. Though you wouldn’t know it; that place smelled burnt and crispy for another month.

Next time, we’ll be ordering pizza.

[You think that's bad? Check out our other cringe-worthy Morning After stories.]

It’s the start of a new school year and to honor that, we at CollegeCandy are bringing back a fan-favorite series, “We’ve All Been There.”  (We tried to get another national holiday/long weekend for you guys but it’s way harder than we thought so this will have to do.) Every week, Lauren – University of Michigan will comment on the common experiences all college women share – like the first day of classes or trying to figure out if that boy is crushin’ too. Read, relate, cringe and enjoy.

The boy you love just broke your heart, so your girlfriends decide that drinking is in order. Because nothing numbs the pain quite like a few shots of SoCo. Together with your roommates, you pick out a super hot outfit (consisting of some combination of low cut top/push up bra), take a few pre-gaming shots and head out the door to either “show him what he’s missing,” or “forget about that jerk.”

The night is perfect: you dance, you drink (a lot), and you even find a cute boy to flirt with in the corner.

Then, obvi, the relentless craving for breadsticks and marinara takes over and you and the girls head home for the Late Night Special from your favorite pizza place.

You make your way to your room to change before the food arrives and are suddenly reminded of just how depressed you are. Why doesn’t he love me? you ask yourself. What is wrong with me? Maybe if I just send him an email and tell him how I feel he will change his mind and want to be with me.

You sit down at your desk.

You turn on John Hiatt’s, “Have a Little Faith in Me,” or the “love songs” channel on Pandora.

You open your email, hoping deep down inside that he has already sent you one, that he realizes he made a big mistake, that he too is sitting at home crying to the soothing sounds of The Fray. That he still loves you.

He hasn’t.
Your heart sinks.

As the mascara stained tears streak your face and form a puddle on your desk, you start writing your own:

hi. i got drinks and i lovre you. i dont know why you hate meeeee. i lobve yoiu. i want to eat breadsticlks but im too sad czu i love you.

At this point the pizza has arrived and your roommates storm into your room, pizza box in hand, to find you weeping silently over your laptop as you type away. Snot is dripping from your nose and you wipe it with your bare arm just before it hits your upper lip. You don’t care. You just keep typing and crying and really connecting with the sad lyrics blaring out of your laptop speakers.

If you are lucky, your roommates get to you before you hit the send button. If you are not quite as lucky (or a really fast typer), it is only a matter of time until the email is opened and any shred of post break-up dignity is lost. But until then, there is pizza. And breadsticks. And unyielding drunken hope that he’s thinking the same things you just wrote, he was just too distraught to put them in an email yet.

A hope which inevitably dies the minute you wake up in the morning and realize what you’ve done.

Yeah, you’re not alone; we’ve all been there before. Many times.
Just be grateful at least you didn’t wake up with a full slice of pizza smashed between your keys and your screen.

Take a break, dude. You deserve it!

Part of the reason I write a Weekly Ten is because I’m paying homage to my man David Letterman (seriously, my dad hasn’t ever missed an episode), and partly it’s because I like lists. Particularly lists where I can prattle on about whatever issue I feel is super relevant. Ya know, like how I’m just not that into you or being super fabulously sober.

This week I’ve decided to list the 10 jobs that totally deserve to sleep in past noon on this very special Labor Day. Why is it even called Labor Day? Shouldn’t it be Not-Labor Day? But I digress. Some people deserve a break for all they do/deal with on a daily basis. I don’t have the power to give it to them, but maybe they’ll note my appreciation and hook me up in the future.

So here are the people both on and off campus that totally deserve the holiday and our respect on this last official day of summer.

10. The Pizza Guys
Now, I don’t know if you are on first name basis with your 2 AM pizza man, but I certainly am. Heyyyy, Dimitri! Let me tell you, the guys who work the counter at the hot spot pizza place deserve this day more than anyone. I can’t even fathom the amount of drunk kids that Cappy’s (Northeastern’s pizza joint… only apropos when wasted) deals with. Hopefully they’ll take this day off, enjoy no one vomiting on their counter and maybe indulge in some food that isn’t deep fried.

9. College Janitors
Throwing sawdust and cleaning up vomit? Peeling pizza off dorm hallways? Scrubbing out showers covered in nasty, cheap beer? Please take a beach vaykay. We heart you and all you do for us.

8. Heidi and Spencer
Just take a vacation from the media, for the love of God.

7. The ladies who make the sandwiches in the cafeteria.
Recently, my good friend went to order a sandwich off the menu, but she had a few demands. Here’s how it went down.
Friend: Okay, I see that you have the Hemenway Special Sandwich. Yes, I want that. But can you make it a wrap?
Sandwich Woman Glares
Friend: Thanks… whoa! What are you doing with that mayo? No mayo. No actually, light mayo.
More Glaring
Friend: Can you substitute the ham for low fat turkey?
Sandwich Woman: I MAKE THE SANDWICH!

You totally deserve a Labor-less Day, lady.

6. Any and all taxi drivers
Mostly because my roommate insists that every cabdriver he drunkenly encounters is Ben Bailey and demands that the cabbie: “ASK US A QUESTION! WE’RE IN A CASH CAB!!! WHAT’S YOUR QUESTION? COME OOOOONNNNN BRO!!” I won’t be leaving my bed today, so hopefully they’ll get to enjoy this day off as well.

5. The Health Clinic Nurses
“I totally don’t know how I got these ping pong balls stuck in there…”

4. The Bouncer.
Take this holiday to shave your neckbeard and not listen to Taio Cruz or make calls on “who’s real and who’s not” on their IDs.

3. Campus Security
Take the day to make the types of decisions that you bust students for. Maybe take a trip to the hospital for alcohol poisoning, walk a mile in our shoes. Or, you know, one broken high heel. Hypothetically.

2. The People Who Give Out Parking Tickets.
REALLY?? I was only 60 seconds late to get back to my car. Come on! Screw Labor Day, take a Labor Year.

1. The Dean
Helicopter parents, pompous professors with tenure, students who want A’s (even when they only showed up for a good four days of class) and alumni wondering why oh why the basketball team just can’t quite win the NCAA tournament. Ringleader, take a break from the campus circus and kick back with “The Economist” and a nice glass of wine. Enjoy a Monday without Mommy calling and asking why little Quentin can’t have his very own dorm room with a school-provided humidifier. You most definitely deserve it.

[Yup, this post was originally run in 2009, but these people still deserve a day off. And so do I.]