Basically, I ran out of things to eat.

Yeah, yeah, it shouldn’t be that hard. But somehow nothing seems quite satisfying enough, quite interesting enough when I have to think so hard about my food.

I am not the kind of girl who diets. In fact, I’ve never been on a diet in my entire life (excluding this “Passover diet” that I go on every year for a week). And I’ll tell you, I don’t like it. If I had to be so careful about what I ate all the time, I would definitely be a much bigger bitch.

Which is really making me a better person. Because now when someone is rude to me on the train, I can think, “oh, they must be on a diet,” and let it go. Thanks, Passover!

In any event, the last couple of days were annoying. I missed out on free Beard Papa cream puffs, on free cookies, on going out to (not free, but still) pizza with friends, etc. etc.

I ate Pinkberry frozen yogurt for lunch one day when I was in a rush and couldn’t think of anything else that was fast.

I was not always nice to my boyfriend. Read More »

At least once a week, I find myself with less than a half-hour window to make and eat dinner. I guess I could just grab a sandwich or some Chinese takeout or something, but I have this annoying insistence that most of what I eat taste delicious and have recognizable ingredients. Yeah, I know, I’m a tough customer.

Since there’s no way I’d have time on those days to do more than punch a few buttons on the microwave or set the dial on the oven, I rely on three staple dinners that I can freeze and pop out of the freezer whenever I want. I usually make giant batches of each and then separate them into single portions that I can easily grab from the icicles. Read More »

You’ve got your life.

Your social circle.

Your intellectual endeavors.

Your means of generating income.

So you’re busy.

And believe me, I’m a perfect example of a girl with naturally great skin who screws it all up on the grounds of being “busy”.

I pass out with my make up on, don’t stop to wash my hands after eating the most disgusting slice of pizza ever OR after manhandling the railings in the New York City subways all day long.

However, I have finally learned how to combat these horrible habits that seem to come along for the busy ride of life. It’s not exactly impossible, you just have to make certain things more accessible for you in order to attend to your basic beauty needs as frequently as you can.

So here are some tips: Read More »

Don’t you just L-O-V-E the Super Bowl? It’s that time of the year when all of the dudes in our lives melt themselves down into screaming little boys.

They stuff their faces with whatever you put in front of them, drink their manjuice from a keg, and lose their temper at the television set.

As grotesque as this may sound to some of you, I actually enjoy this night. Then again, I’ve always been pretty good at kicking it with the guys.

There is a certain art to hanging with the guys, specially on Super Bowl Sunday, without being THAT chick. You know…THAT chick:

1. Who’s there solely to baby sit her boyfriend.

2. Who’s there solely because she has no life outside of her boyfriend.

3. Who’s there to invite all of the girls so that they could all have “Girl Time” while the boys have “Boy Time”.

4. Who admits she’s only there for the food and beer.

5. Who doesn’t know which teams are playing.

You don’t wanna be any of those girls. Instead, use this event as a chance to prove your ability to truly hang. The cool points you’ll score might just last you all year.

So how do you do it? Read More »

If you’re like most young adults, drinking is a definite element involved in your social life. And while there are a lot of fun aspects to drinking, there are a lot of bad things that come with it as well. You know: hangovers, mistakes, liver damage, and…(drum roll)…munchies from HELL.

For some reason, no matter how healthy I eat through out the day, everything is out the window once I’m drunk. I congratulate myself for being soooo healthy most of the time and yet I tell myself (and my friends with me) this whenever I’m wasted:

“I’m HUNGRY! I want PIZZA! Or…wings! Oh wait…a BACON CHEESEBURGER!”

This is certainly an innocent enough habit to pick up if you don’t drink regularly. However, as my college years went on, my nights of partying have become more frequent. And while I haven’t gained any weight, I’m lucky I didn’t!

Battling the urge to binge while drunk takes more self discipline than you likely can tap into while under the influence. BUT, it can be done.

Here’s how: Read More »

• Men tend to enjoy breasts. And according to the (female) author…we shouldn’t blame them (or show them). (Yahoo!)

• What if Apple never existed? What would hipsters identify themselves by (technologically speaking, of course)? (Yahoo!)

• Blast From the Past: On her 2006 tour, Amy Winehouse needed beer, wine, vodka, pizza…and sober roadies (to carry her to bed). (Smoking Gun)

• All I can picture is a team of high school football players high fiving the kid involved in this. Also, this. (Idahostatesman.com)

• Wait, so this weed was found underwater and it’s still worth over a million dollars? Lucky fisherman. (citizen.co.za)

I’m not the biggest fan of eating in front of a guy on the first date. Call me retro, call me self-conscious, but consuming food in front of someone I’m trying to impress is never a good plan. My table manners aren’t the best (proof of this fact: my parents have nicknamed me Helen Keller), and I wouldn’t want a guy to think I’m one of those girls who eat only salads and rice, when really I’m avoiding the chicken because of my strange fear of choking in front of people.

In case you’re not a lunatic like me and don’t care about eating in front of your date, his choice in pizza toppings has the potential to reveal deep, dark personality traits.

Alan Hirsch, M.D., lead researcher and director of the Smell & Taste Treatment and Research Foundation in Chicago, recently completed a survey of 1,000 people between the ages of 18-59 that observers the connection between pizza preferences and behavior.

(Before you start judging your significant other based on this new information, be advised that the study was commissioned by Dominos Pizza. Statistics don’t lie, but they sure can be altered.) Read More »

Pizza and porn go together like peas and carrots. I mean, who doesn’t like to scarf down slices while enjoying some fine pornography? I know I do.

So it only makes sense that pizza establishments are recently catching on.

Porno Pizza, located in Winnipeg, includes a surprise – pornographic pictures – underneath their pies for customers who must show their 18-and-up ID’s to the delivery guy.

Founder Corey Wildeman said, “We cater to certain crowds” – yea, “certain crowds” meaning, hungry, horny Canadians.

Those Canadians sure are frisky, but us Americans can top that. Cordatos in Manhattan is a place that, for 10+ bucks will buy you a pizza and a lap dance!! From dancers who have been busted for prostitution!! That’s some bang for your buck.

Sure, pizza and porn reveals the male shovenist at its best, but it’s a gimmic and it works. It’s every man’s dream, really, so why not exploit that and make everyone happy? The only negative is that once this combination catches on and there’s a pizza-porn empire, guys everywhere will have a real excuse to take us ladies out less and less, and crave delivery more and more.

And we think Americans have a weight problem now…..

This past Saturday I woke up to a plate of food shoved in my face. After I wiped the sleep out of my eyes, I realized that my boyfriend had made me breakfast in bed. Although my first reaction was “Awwww,” with the warm fuzzy feelings and whatnot, upon closer inspection of the plate I wanted to vom. One very cheesy grilled cheese, mashed potatoes slathered in butter, and bacon.

I’m not a large girl by any means, I don’t know if this breakfast was an attempt to fatten me up, or just made because the guy knew that I liked grilled cheese, bacon, and occassionally mashed potatoes. When I say that I like grilled cheese, I mean that sporadically I will eat one for lunch. I scarf a couple of slices of bacon every month or so. Mashed potatoes are strictly for the holidays. I’m very much a veggie-wraps, grilled chicken, and salad kind of gal. To be faced with a plate like this and a very eager face waiting for my approval, well it was a little much for 10AM on a Saturday.

I ended up eating the entire plate, all the while feeling myself slowly expanding. Not only that, he wanted to order pizza for dinner. If I protest, I run the risk of looking like a typical diet obsessed female, to give in is only sentencing me to more ellipitical time in the coming week. Read More »