Stars who regret having plastic surgery

The secret to a Victoria’s Secret model’s body

Of course Prince Harry speed dates for the rich

Hollywood tackles the long distance relationship

Are these celebs secretly related??  No, seriously

Daniel Craig is quite the lady

Kendra sure thinks highly of herself

Are tattoos okay in the workplace these days?

Time to up your sex drive?

And ode to a Jonas

Like, it’s a big deal.

Which is probably why I was so damn disappointed with my magazine this month.  I’m not saying this issue wasn’t amazing, I’m just saying it’s like the series finale of Jersey Shore. It’s hard to live up to the expectations, you know?

Of course, Taylor Swift is a perfect cover girl (even though her little quote about “rarely being the girl with the boyfriend” was kind of annoying.  You are dating JYKE GYLLENHAAL, for crying out loud!)  I mean, yeah, her curly ques and inspirational quotes are a tad irritating, but the twelve-year-old girl inside me totally eats it up, so I’m guessing the rest of the Seventeen readers do too.

Every year, Seventeen chooses celebrity style stars for this encyclopedia of an issue and this year’s choices were kind of…eh.  I mean, what the HELL was Victoria Justice wearing?  Is that nightgown/cardigan/MATCHING BELT getup supposed to be some nod to pajama chic?  And Taylor Momsen? Really? When are people going to realize that this girl is BAD FOR HUMANITY?

But I kept flipping through the pages, attempting to put off studying just a wee bit longer. I got some fancy makeup tips for NYE. I got the urge to buy a sequined dress. I got sucked into an article about avoiding party predators (because a title that includes the words ‘party’ and ‘predators’ is just too good to pass up) and learned to avoid the Four Loko. In an article about Facebook’s role in a romantic relationship, I learned that just because a guy doesn’t change his relationship status the second you make it official DOESN’T always mean he’s cheating. A guy who puts you on limited profile, though? That guy is sha.dy.

And then I came across this little gem of an article. And by gem I mean “makes you cringe.”

Entitled “I Got Plastic Surgery To Stop The Bullying,” it was the story of Erica and her decision to go under the knife.  Apparently Erica got teased by an “older guy” at school so she decided that she needed a nose job. And her parents agreed? Although, based on the before and after shots, I have an inkling she didn’t stop at the nose. The ‘before’ picture features a pretty blonde girl with a cute little nose.  And the second picture is a different person all together.  Like, there’s no way that this brunette is the same person.  I’m talking, Heidi Montag or Pratt or whatever had a more subtle change than this.

And it gets worse, in a “I can’t believe this is actually happening” sorta way. If only she had me to guide her….

Here is her story:

Seventeen says: “…But comments about my nose kept coming from that older guy and a group of his friends.  This one day in the cafeteria, one of them yelled from across the room: “Hey big nose! Your Ugg boots look like s***!”
Zara says: Ugg boots look like s***, no matter how gorgeous your nose is.

Seventeen says: “Once I have a small nose, people will focus more on who I am as a person and not on my big nose.“
Zara says: Or you could just wait until college when all that popularity stuff doesn’t matter anymore and people judge you on your character. But you’re in high school, Erica! And people are mean in high school! Changing yourself for those jerks is wrong.  After your nose job, people won’t call you “big nose” anymore, but they will find some other reason to make fun of you. Why? Because they are insecure.

Seventeen says: “I was walking down the hall and all of a sudden a guy sneered ‘how much did your new nose cost?’ The bullying started all over again.  I was crushed.  I became known as “the girl with the nose job.”
Zara says: See? Ugh, it breaks my heart.

Seventeen says: “Be honest with yourself.  Don’t do it for your mom, your boyfriend, or anyone else because procedures carry risks.”
Zara Says: Or how about, ‘don’t do it at all?’ There’s a fine line between “doing it for yourself” and “doing it because that boy I like keeps calling me ‘Big Nose,’” and I don’t think 15-year-old girls are mature enough to make the distinction. Nor are they capable of understanding that the guy who makes fun of your imperfections is the one that needs to change, not them. Gah! I see what Seventeen was trying to do here, but they totally missed the mark. These are impressionable young ladies! Can we get some female empowerment up in here?

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Got a Dude itch you just can’t scratch? Sick of getting the pity-eyes as you sift through the Self-Help section at your campus bookstore? Over wondering what those boys are thinking?  We got your back, girlfriend. Send your question (Why is my ex sending such mixed signals?) over to askthedude@collegecandy.com. The Dude won’t sugarcoat it, beat around the bush, or any other weird cliche that means lie to you. Like a nice, juicy hot dog, he’ll be 100% real beef, 100% of the time.  So bring it on, ladies.]

Hey Dude,
I have issues with self-esteem. Even though I know I’m fairly attractive (5’9, blonde, tan skin, brown eyes, telling you this so you get a perspective on the issue) dress pretty well, and don’t have a problem getting guys attracted to me, I have no boobs. Yes, I’m flat, and it’s not like I’m super skinny so my body just looks way out of proportion. I have contemplated plastic surgery just so that I can feel completely comfortable showing off my body. I want implants because I worry about guys judging me on the type of body I have wayyyy too much. Now that I’m going to get surgery though, I’m scared that guys will just judge me more for going through with this than just staying with my size.

What is your take on a girl with fake boobs? I am doing it for ME, not for anyone else, but I don’t want to regret my decision when a boy is like “you were so insecure that you actually got implants? Wow, you are not the girl I thought you were.”

Looking forward to your reply,
-Oregon Girl

Dear Oregon Girl,

Quoth the Turtle: “I believe in a woman’s right to choose.”

A lot of men like a woman who’s really…smart. Big boobs are an eye-catcher. Sorry ladies, fact is fact. Men are visual creatures. Bazoomas are visual parts of a woman that seem to demand attention particularly during these warm summer months (have I mentioned summer is my favorite season?).  I can’t defend my gender’s obsession over ta-tas because, truthfully, what’s there to defend? The human body is looked upon by men as a magnificent work of natural art.  We are in awe of your lines, curves, and take notice of every thrilling alteration to the universal form.

When you get big boobs you are inviting more attention to them by straight men. This is part of the appeal of getting them. Period. Yes, I believe you want to feel comfortable in your body (although I know from my friends with D’s that having large mammaries can cause back issues) but my theory is that you’re looking for a confidence boost and it’s clear where you think you can get it from…and odds are that you will.

Men are fascinated by the magical, mystical, gravity defying, sacred orbs of pleasure. Why? Who the hell knows. After a while all you need is a handful.  Perhaps in the primal processes of our reptilian brains men use boobs as a criteria for choosing the most desirable mate to procreate with. Or perhaps we grew up watching too much Baywatch as adolescents. Bottom line: big boobs garner sexual attention and that’s one of the things you’re looking to get. So, DON’T FEEL ASHAMED ABOUT IT!

I understand you don’t want to feel shallow but plastic surgery of any kind is done, on some level, out of vanity. Hey, there’s nothing wrong with vanity up to a point. I don’t want to smell like Matthew McConaughay after a half-marathon so I wear deodorant (seriously Matthew, get over yourself and wear some or just move to freaking France already!).  That’s an act of vanity. Women cover up their cheeks with blush or circles under their eyes with that cover-up stuff in order to look “more natural” and thus more beautiful. Those are acts of vanity, too. You know what, nothing wrong with any of them and there’s nothing wrong with getting implants if you feel like it’ll really add something to your life that you’re missing. Just understand that you are sexualizing yourself.

Men are going to be drawn at first glance to your boobs more than before and they will certainly be an asset to attracting new men. Will some people think you’re shallow? Yes. Mostly other women (by the way, is it me or are you girls more obsessed with each other’s boobs than us?). But that’s the price of bountiful bosoms. Even women with God given double D’s are scrutinized and belittled by some women (generally flat-chested narcissists).  So do it but be prepared to take your lumps from the females. As far as guys are concerned, this is a no brainer (just a pro-boner. Nice, high five? Anybody? Oh come on! That was legen-wait for it-dary) . Once the boys see your new puppies they’ll just want to pet them rather than thinking about the ethical variables of your decision to adopt them.  Aw, puppies…

Go for boobies,
The Dude

Every day we’re bombarded with a million different messages about what we are supposed to look like. And tell you what, our not-so-scientific-yet-totally-accurate visual research proves that 99% of girls out there don’t fit the mold. So instead of telling you how to wear your hair, or how much weight to lose, or which one of Heidi Montag’s many surgeries to get, we’re going to celebrate these so-called beauty flaws with a new weekly series.

This week is all about the A-list celebrities. Nope, not the ones who are all over the red carpet and on the cover of every tabloid. We’re talking about the celebrities who rock an A-cup bra and not only aren’t afraid to show it off, but look damn good doing it. They may not have the perfect shape based on men’s magazines, but they don’t let that get in their way.

Forget cleavage. Today we’re all about the proud women who celebrate being a carpenter’s dream.

[Click on the image to see more pics!]

Montag listed nose, cheekbone and chin jobs, eyebrow lift, breast enlargement, fat injections — and told Seacrest, “I had my back scooped.” When the host asked for clarification, Montag admitted, “I actually didn’t know. I might be the first one to try it. It carves out your back a little bit.”

And, uh, she’s got the entire thing on film. Read the rest of Heidi’s interview right here.

The increasingly in-demand surgery is (gasp) a boob reduction… for men.

Man-boobs, or moobs, have definitely become more common thanks to the McDonald’s Dollar Menu and the deliciousness that is queso dip, and have recently been seen on celebs like Jack Nicholson, John Travolta and more.  They’re certainly not attractive, but is it really necessary to go under the knife and have them chopped off?  What about doing some bench presses, bros?

Okay, I guess I’m just having trouble coming to terms with men getting boob jobs (they have implants, too!). While I’ve already started saving for the booby lift I’ll inevitably need one day (can you imagine what these now C-cups will look like after popping out a few kids!?), I always envied guys for not having to worry about their chest protrusions. We’re supposed to be the vain, self-conscious sex, and I can’t figure out if it’s comforting or just plain weird that guys have the same insecurities.

Much like mullets, fanny packs, and jorts, I guess moobs are an eyesore trend I’d be happy to see less of. Lord knows I’d much rather feast my eyes on some drool-worthy pecs (David Beckham, anyone?) than some saggy sacks of fat. And if a little moob reduction is what it takes, then I say bring it on!

But maybe we can make everyone happy and save some of the leftovers for some of our flat-chested lady friends? Just a thought…

[It's pretty obvious that the average CollegeCandy reader has some very strong opinions. Opinions that she likes to share with everyone on the site. We love a strong woman (unless she happens to be charging at us with her fists raised), so we thought we'd give her a real forum to discuss her thoughts, feelings, and perspectives. Every Friday I'll be featuring a hot topic (like socks with sandals!) and leaving it up to you, the readers, to duke it out. So, read it and get your debate on in the comments section below!]

In case you’ve been living in a hole for the past week (or, you know, busy paying attention to important world events), Heidi Montag got plastic surgery… like seriously! While we and pretty much everyone else has been clear on what we think about her new “look,” it got me thinking. One of the big things people have pointed out about Heidi’s work (aside from the sheer number of surgeries) is her age – specifically that she seems incredibly young to be having work done.

Now we’re not talking about medically necessary surgeries or reconstruction here, I’m talking the pure “make me pretty because I want it” type of thing, and I admit, I can see the appeal. While I have always been a proponent of the “love yourself the way you are” mentality, there are definitely days where I have wished I could wake up with a smaller nose or bigger boobs or a magically flat tummy – and I know I’m not alone. I was always taught that self-esteem is important, and most of us wouldn’t think twice about, say, coloring our hair or getting a gym membership to boost our self-image.

Isn’t plastic surgery just an (admittedly extreme) extension of that? 

And the truth is procedures like these cost a pretty penny so if you’re going to invest in them, why not do it early and get you’re money’s worth? Should you have to wait years and years to do something you know you want just because you seem too young for it? If you have the will and the means, is it fair for other people to tell you that you shouldn’t do something that will make you happier?

The flip side, of course, is that the risk of buyer’s remorse goes up the younger you are. I mean, I know a lot of people who got tattoos just a few years ago and already regret it, so dropping that kind of cash on something you may want to get reversed down the road isn’t a real appealing thought. Also, we women have spent a long time just trying to be accepted for the bodies we have, so going the other way to make yourself seem more “perfect” seems counterintuitive to that idea. (Especially when Heidi goes on TV and says her message is that “beauty comes from within.”)After all, (as my mother loves to tell me) it’s the little flaws that make us the most beautiful – where would Lauren Hutton have been without that gap in her teeth or Beyonce without her bootyliciousness (I can’t believe I just put those two in the same sentence). It might take a long time to finally make peace with the way you look, but wouldn’t it be better to be special than generic?

OK, now you tell me – what do you think about getting some work done? Would you do it if you could? Would you hold it against someone if she did? And should age be a factor in the way we look at it?

Duke it out, ladies!

By now everyone and their mother (including my mother, who called and asked me who “this bimbo is”) has seen the photos of Heidi Montag’s latest foray into Barbie-ville published in People magazine. But no matter how many times I look at this – and I literally stared at it for 10 minutes until my eyes started to water last night – it still blows my mind.

WTF?!

Why would anyone want boobs like that?
Is she trying to look as artificial as possible?
In her quest for “perfection,” did she ever consider fixing things on the inside?
How much did this cry for attention cost her?

Seriously, if it weren’t for those long, bony fingers of hers, I’m not sure I’d even recognize her anymore. Too bad even 10 plastic surgery procedures won’t help Heidi’s music “career.”

Did Beyonce perform for terrorists?!

Britney’s back on the market.

And so is Pamela Anderson. Oooo competition!

Plastic surgery: there’s an app for that.

Ew! Morgan Freeman is creepy!

You can never have too much shirtless Ryan Reynolds.