Confidential to Almost Sexually Active Band Geek: WAIT. He doesn’t mind. If it’s meant to be, it’ll happen later–when things work out.
Dear Tuffy Luv,
I have been hooking up with a long time friend recently but we have never been anything official. He acts like he likes me, takes me out, says he thinks he is falling in love with me and says how he thinks we should be together. He has quite the playboy/bad boy reputation and for a long time and I couldn’t let myself be anything more than friends with benefits, so I have denied his requests that I be his girlfriend in fear of getting hurt.
I had a change of heart about 2 weeks ago and we had a conversation where we both decided to try and make a relationship work. Nothing really changed, we just gave it a label. However last week, only a few days after we became official, he slept with my best friend. Now things are beyond awkward between said friend and I and my “boyfriend” thinks I am making a big deal about nothing.
My head tells me to cut all ties and that he is exactly who I feared he was, but I still have feelings for him and can’t figure out why he would do this after saying and showing how much he likes me. I should also note that he told me he wasn’t hooking up with anyone else when we were unofficially together.
[Got a Dude itch you just can’t scratch? Sick of getting the pity-eyes as you sift through the Self-Help section at your campus bookstore? Over wondering what those boys are thinking? We got your back, girlfriend. Send your question over to askthedude@collegecandy.com. The Dude won’t sugarcoat it, beat around the bush, or any other weird cliche that means lie to you. Like a nice, juicy hot dog, he’ll be 100% real beef, 100% of the time. So bring it on, ladies.]
Dude,
Okay so I have this one guy friend that I’ve totally hooked up with before and it meant nothing. Honestly, sometimes a girl has needs that need to be fulfilled just like guys do. So for me our hook up was just something fun that was better than me just hooking up with some random person for a one night. Ever since that hook up homeboy has either texted me or called me EVERY time that he has been drunk. A lot of times if I don’t answer his texts he will call me multiple times throughout the night until I answer, wanting me to come over and I have respectfully have refused.
I have also told him countless times that I know that there are plenty of other girls that he should call besides me and he has never listened until tonight when he started texting me again drunk, and for the first time he admitted that he needed to stop and that he was sorry and for me to ignore anything else that he sends me. He also said that he would promise to never drunk text me again, which is great. I want this to end because it is so embarrassing, especially when I am out with friends or other guys and he constantly calls.
However that is not the reason why I felt the need to send this. I have noticed that he has recently being trying really hard around me. He has been texting me during the day, blowing up my phone, inviting me to come over and literally just hang out and chill with him and friends and watch movies and other little things. We are friends so usually this wouldn’t seem out of the ordinary but lately I have been feeling questionable about his invites. Something just seems off with him. He is known for being quite the player when it comes to girls and usually I am one of his few friends that will put him in his place about that. So I guess what I am asking as homeboy had a change of heart? Has my friend gone from being the player for life now to Mr. Right and am I in his crosshairs?
How the heck do you get out of the friend zone? It seems like everyone thinks it is only a problem for guys but girls go through the same problem as well. I have a guy friend for a few years now and I would love for it to be something more. He is a definition of a player and basically can get whoever he wants. He hooks up with so many girls – he even hooked up with my twin sister last week!
The thing is, we have a good friendship – he makes me laugh and I feel like I can tell him anything. We are very flirty, but then again, he flirts with everyone. We have been in situations where we could of hooked up, but he never made a move. He is not friends with many girls. Honestly, I think I am the closest girlfriend he
has. I just really would love to see if I can turn this into something more. Help!!
Got a guy question that’s tearing you up inside? Don’t trust your girl friends to give you honest advice (because they’re afraid if they tell you the truth you will freak out and throw things at them)? Just want to try and understand what a guy is thinking?
We’ve got the dude for you. Send your questions to AskTheDude@CollegeCandy.com and he’ll give it to you straight. Because you can’t throw things at him, no matter what he tells you. Our dude is answering questions every Wednesday, so ask away!
Hey Duuuude,
OK, so here is my situation. I met this guy my freshman year of college (I’m a sophomore now) and we flirted for a while and then we started texting. Then eventually, we started partying together. Well for about two months while we would flirt, text and party all the time (he would text me every day about 3 times a day a lot of times just to see what I was doing), he had a girlfriend. Before I found this out, I had straight up asked him if he had a girlfriend and he said no.
How I found out he had a girlfriend for sure, was one night us two and a group of friends went to a party. At the party (not knowing it was his girlfriend) I went up and talked to her, because I knew who she was aside from the fact that she was his girlfriend. She was short with me, and gave me a lot of attitude and I wanted to know why. So I asked him again what was going on between those two and he simply said “I f**ked her a few times.” Then I found out that she is madly in love with him and considers them to be exclusive. Well that was a while ago and bygones are bygones; I do not trust him in a boyfriend sense, yet I treasure his friendship. He tells me he wants to go out on actual dates that don’t involve other people and black out-drunkenness, and I have heard him say that he wants to be in a serious relationship with me, but I am afraid to trust him because I feel like he is someone that I could really fall for.
What should I do???
— Can’t Think of a Fun Name, So Just Call Me Confused Read More »
Okay, okay. You found your fling. But classes are about to begin again, and you’ve got to pack up, move out, and put your scholar-face on. What are you going to do about the amazing hottie you picked up over the break?
Well, that all depends. What do you want? What does he want? How much do you really think you click? And by “click,” I do NOT mean another work that ends in “-ck.” Because if you’re going to make it work, you’re going to have to jive beyond the boundaries of physical attraction.
Take into consideration the fact that you’re going to have a college workload, assignments, deadlines, and the usual university-sponsored (or bar-sponsored) social engagements. If he’s in school, he will too. Sure, it was easy to escape when you were both visiting your parents, but what about when you’ve got your uber-fun roommate and a dorm full of friends every night of the week? If you still think he’s worth it, read on.Read More »
Just like we are always wondering what guys are thinking (which usually consists of sex, sports, beer and sex), guys want to know what’s on our minds. What do we want? What do we like? What the hell do we mean when we curtly say “it’s fine” after they get all pissy when we hang out with our guy friends?
Contrary to popular belief, they care what we think. Not only because they want to please us, but because they want to woo us, lure us…and get us into their beds.So, we at CollegeCandy decided it was time to let guys know exactly what we like/hate/and dream about at night. So, vote, comment and pass this on to those boys in your life. And remember: unlike sex with most college men, this is all for you in the end.
When it comes to dating, do you find yourself drawn to the boys who play the games (and play ‘em well), making you chase them all over town? Or are you more into the straight up, honest, nice boys who call when they say they’re gonna call?
My friend met a great guy last weekend. They hung out at the bar and when it closed he walked her home. When they arrived at her place, they sat on her stoop and talked, flirted, laughed.
It wasn’t until the sun started coming up (and she realized she had to be at her internship in the AM), that they realized how long they had been out there. He took her number, gave her a kiss and went on his merry way. She was excited…until a week went by with no word from him.
She couldn’t understand what happened. I couldn’t help her, either. So, I turned to experts in the field of douchey boys: my guy friends. They have helped before – I was sure they could explain the situation this time, too.
He Said:
When a guy asks a girl for her number and never calls back, a few things might be happening. First, he might have been involved in a fatal beer bong accident, and be buried six-feet under by the time the obligatory three days have passed. But that’s unlikely.
Another, more likely, option is that after he sobered up, he realized that the girl was actually some type of human-beast hybrid and his buddies asked him WTF he was thinking, pretty much eliminating any chance of getting in touch. Or he just forgot he’d gotten the girl’s number altogether until it was too late. Drinking might be a good social lubricant, but it’s not the best ingredient for long-term planning. Read More »
Hey tuffy! I send this to Ryan, but i’m not sure on what’s his status whether he still gives advice or not, so just to be sure since this is driving me nuts i’ll send it to you!
Here’s my prob!
There’s this guy i initially met during training at work who instantly I knew was attracted to me by the little things he did (constantly looking, his friends trying to bring up his name in a conversation/leaving us when we’re together..blah blah blah). After a month or so, the feelings became mutual and our occasional waves when we saw each other turned into him walking me to my car after work, us exchanging numbers (which resulted into convos that lasted in the the early AM), sitting together at breaks, and texting non-stop as well as him telling me personal things about himself.
It’s to the point where everyone think’s we’re together. I kept wondering why he hadn’t asked me out yet, and then finally had to ask the question if he had a girlfriend. With my luck, the answer was ‘Yes’. I found it incredibly odd because he would never mention her, even after he gave me my answer it was almost like she was invisible. Instantly I said to myself I would only keep our conversations at a friendly level, thinking it would get easier since I switched shifts and would not see him as often. I even went as far to tell him that I would not be calling him because I found it disrespectful to call another woman’s boyfriend.Read More »
In my most recent article, I discussed the fact that my boyfriend does not read what I post here. As I am a delicate, ladylike and discreet young woman, I did not publish his name – or, for that matter, any details that could have identified him to the reading public.
I have good news for you. He read my article. We talked it over. And we’re ready to go public.
Here he is.
It’s been a whirlwind romance. When I first saw his Craigslist post, “Mr. Right Iz Here Waiting 4 U,” I knew I was in for something huge. Mr. Right! There! Waiting 4 me! I never dreamed it could be so easy. Yet, when I looked into his eyes – or, perhaps, more accurately, the portions of his eyes which could be viewed through the slits of his oh-so-cunning neon-green sunglasses – I could no longer restrain my passion. I simply had to respond.
Our dates, of course, are wonderful. We stroll through New York, patronizing the various vendors of airbrushed shirts. We go to ATMs and withdraw cash, making fans of $20 bills with which to rouse each other to erotic frenzy. Read More »
“And I was all, ‘you can’t just grab my boobs without asking first!’”
Stacey pushed through our door without knocking; barging in on what had been a peaceful study session between Rebecca and myself.
Dropping her purse by the door, kicking off her shoes in the middle of the room, and letting two shopping bags collapse all over her desk, Stacey continued to scream into her purple rhinestoned phone.
“It’s like, if you’re gonna reach for them, you gotta ask my permission, you know?” Digging around inside one of the shopping bags, Stacey took no notice of the serene environment she had just disrupted. “Seriously. Anyway, I gotta go. If I don’t fold these shirts right now they’ll totally wrinkle.”
Clicking her phone shut with one hand, Stacey raised a pile of newly purchased polos in another and spun around towards us. “What’re you kids doing in here? It smells weird. Something’s burning.”
Rebecca rolled her eyes and turned her back on Stacey. “We’re burning incense. And studying. You know…the thing people do that makes college worthwhile?”
“Oh.” Stacey looked over at us and made a face, somehow completely tuning out Rebecca’s insult. “It’s a Thursday night. Definitely not a studying night.”
Stepping around our history notes and upturned flashcards, Stacey walked over to her bed and began to carefully fold her new shirts, handling each one like snow that would melt at the slightest pressure. “Didn’t see you at the dance last week, Grace. Didn’t you say you were going?” Read More »
Question?! Answer. Ask TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com.
My friend met a great guy last weekend. They hung out at the bar and when it closed he walked her home. When they arrived at her place, they sat on her stoop and talked, flirted, laughed.
Dear Tuffy Luv,
In my most recent article, I discussed the fact that my boyfriend does not read what I post here. As I am a delicate, ladylike and discreet young woman, I did not publish his name – or, for that matter, any details that could have identified him to the reading public.
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