[I swear this is not a PMS list -- though after compiling it I realized that's exactly what it looks like.]
This is my tribute, my thank you, my ode to certain foods for being so delicious (albeit not very nutritious) that I consume them in mass quantities and therefore am forced to spend far more time at the gym than I’d like. In no particular order the foods that I’d do anything for are:
1) French fries: Regular, sweet potato, waffle, frozen, deep fried to crispy, baked – I don’t care how they were cooked or in what form I get them, but I need them and I need them with like half of a bottle of ketchup. They’re vegetables though, right? No matter how much I eat, I always always always have room for fries, whether I order them or you do. I especially have room if you ordered them and I got a side salad.
2) Nutella: It’s really versatile if you consider all of the pairing options. Fruit like strawberries and bananas are begging for Nutella and it’is fantastic on bread or waffles or crackers. I am such a mixer that I also add it to ice cream and cake and you can use it in pies to line the graham cracker crusts with chocolately goodness (well, I do). Despite the mixing options, my favorite way to consume it: off of a spoon, straight from the jar. Read More »
It’s the start of a new week and already I feel haggard and exhausted. My moods are swinging like a particularly feisty pendulum and my breasts ache. It can only mean one thing: my good friend PMS is on the horizon.
The beginnings of some minor stomach cramps, an increased feeling of self-consciousness and a patience threshold shorter than my small toe surface like clockwork once a month, warning me of impending pain and the cycle of womanhood.
Thankfully I am not alone, basking in the dull glory of 90% of menstruating women who currently experience some form of Pre-Menstrual Syndrome. There are at least a hundred symptoms, though women experience a mix of just a few. The most common include irritability, loss of confidence, poor concentration, crying for no particular reason and the infamous mood swings, as feared by boyfriends and spouses the world over.
I myself am prone to similar experiences as mentioned above, along with an unpleasant notion of feeling like a beached whale and wishing my bedroom were the sea and my bed the sand, so I could waddle on my belly to bask in comfort and perhaps make a few guessed interpretations of what I would consider to be whale groans. Read More »
That or her 20 days on the Master Cleanse must have been done strategically between visits from the red eyed monster, because how she could have fasted on water, lemon juice, maple syrup and cayenne pepper during the days of bloat and cravings makes – well, it just seems impossible.
Welcome to my Diet Diary. Or ‘Dietribes’, if you will. Each month, I will test out a diet and you can read all about the self-torture in inflict upon my body with all of the deprivation.
In truth, I generally try to be a very healthy eater and I’m concerned about the foods that go into my body, so the diets I will outline won’t be one of those slim fast or cookie diet jobs.
I am not doing the aforementioned crazy fast, but I bring it up because detoxing seems to be on everyone’s mind and various levels of detoxing are outlined in The New Detox Diet, by Elson M. Haas M.D (on the cover of the book, he’s also called The Detox Doc).Read More »
How fantabulous is that special time of the month when Auntie Flo comes to town? You know, the time where we cry over nothing, breakout like we are in 9th grade, look like we just got breast implants, and want to remove our uterus ourselves with the sharpest untensil we can find because it hurts so badly.
Oh, and we proceed to eat every fatty, salty, chocolaty, everything that is in our path no matter how hard we were working out the week before.
So, when searching for this week’s recipes- I thought, “IDEA! Why not give our faithful CC readers some easy recipes that will satisfy your PMS cravings and not pack on the pounds?“
So sit back with some Midol, a heating pad, a good ‘ol sappy movie and a big, huge fork and indulge — sans guilt!
(with ketchup, and a little salt they will taste like the real deal- try sweet potatoes if your feeling crazy!)
What you need:
6 lg. russet or other baking potatoes, scrubbed
Vegetable spray
Directions:
Preheat oven to 475 degrees. Cut potatoes into 1/2 inch strips or leave thicker if you prefer more of a potato wedge. Lightly spray baking pan with vegetable spray. Lay potatoes in a single layer on baking sheet.
Spray strips with vegetable spray before placing pan in oven. Bake 15-20 minutes, turn them and continue baking until crisp and browned, approximately 15-20 minutes more. Read More »
Not a lot of people like to talk about it. Girls are pissed off at having to deal with it, and guys are either skeeved out or completely in the dark about it.
A few years (like oh, 40 or so) ago, the cartoonists at Disney realized what a bad rap menstruation was getting. They decided it was their duty to help kids out everywhere. And so they made an animated short. All about periods. Read More »
Remember last year when he rushed the stage at the MTV Europe VMA’s, flipping out about the fact that his video cost “1 million dollars!” and that he had “Pam Anderson” and “jumped across canyons and shit!”?
Most people were like, “Whoa, Kanye. You’re talented and stuff…but calm down.”
And he did, for a little while.
Then of course, came the VMA’s on American soil, and West was shut out again, winning no awards for his “genius”. Instead of having a tantrum in front of however many millions of people, Kanye upgraded his whining to backstage…and the radio.
“That’s two years in a row, man … give a black man a chance!” He exclaimed while waiting for a elevator, stomping around and hitting things. “I’m trying hard man, I have the … No. 1 record, man!”
After flipping out the night of show (much like I used to flip out when I was 4 and my mom wouldn’t let me have a second cookie…give a toddler a chance, man!) Kanye went to New York radio station Z100 last Monday and said he felt “betrayed” by the network.
He went on to say it wasn’t because he didn’t win, it was because of the programming; namely, allowing an unprepared Britney Spears to open the festivities and relegating him to a luxury suite at the Casino where the VMA’s were broadcast to perform instead of the main stage. Read More »
The crazy mood swings, the back pain, the excruciating cramps, and the lazy lazy lazy.
Everybody loves chocolate.
The bittersweet, the dark, the nutty, the shameless calories.
Jamieson Laboratories in Canada have just introduced PMS Support Chocolate Bars, fifteen different soy crisp treats infused with natural botanicals that help alleviate physical and emotional symptoms of the dreaded Aunt Flow.
The smart sweets are made up of sodium caseinate, artichoke leaf and chasteberry, white willow bark (said to be “herbal aspirin”) and a bunch of other ingredients we’ll never recognize. All these natural ingredients work together to relieve pains, bloating, and your baaaad attitude.
Hallelujah!
Seems like the perfect solution considering everyone craves chocolate on their period anyway. Lucky for us we can stop popping pills and throw out that damn warm compress, because these delectable delights cash in at only 70 calories a serving. Read More »
And so it is, that time of the month. Being a woman is great, but when PMS meanders into our lives we need to know what to do to subside the pain, bloating and fatigue. Here are some food options to consider. And, by the way… according to my yoga instructor, it isn’t a good time to stand on your head.
Yeah, um, got it.
Dark Chocolate: Enjoy some chocolate and indulge. Organic dark chocolate keep sugar levels in check, which is crucial during the more moody moments.
Sweet Potatoes: These pretty orange numbers are also great for managing blood sugar levels and are more complex than the regular white potatoes in terms of carbohydrates.
Fennel: Never tried it, but I’ve been told if you eat fennel a week before your period begins it works as a great diuretic.
B-vitamins: B-vitamins (potatoes, bananas, and beer[!] are good sources) are great for stress levels and energy. Read More »
[I swear this is not a PMS list -- though after compiling it I realized that's exactly what it looks like.]
Kanye West likes to complain.
Everybody hates PMS.
And so it is, that time of the month. Being a woman is great, but when PMS meanders into our lives we need to know what to do to subside the pain, bloating and fatigue. Here are some food options to consider. And, by the way… according to my yoga instructor, it isn’t a good time to stand on your head.
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