It's the moment of truth, little lady.

We’re well into another new school year and to honor that, we at CollegeCandy are bringing back the fan-favorite series, “We’ve All Been There.”  (We tried to get another national holiday/long weekend for you guys but it’s way harder than we thought so this will have to do.) Every week, Lauren from the University of Michigan will comment on the common experiences all college women share – like class registration, the dreaded muffin top or, everyone’s favorite activity, procrastinating. Read, relate, cringe and enjoy.

Your boxes are unpacked, your bed is made, and your parents have left the building. You are officially a college student.

Woohoo! No more living under their rules. You are a free adult livin’ the dorm life. It takes a few days of getting used to, but you’re finally feeling settled. You’ve even sorta mastered the cafeteria slop. This whole college thing isn’t so hard after all.

That is, until you need to do a little #2 in the public bathroom down the hall. The one every other girl on the hall also frequents to shower, wash up, dry her hair, and do her business. Girls you don’t know. Girls you want to befriend. Feeling the stage fright, you’ve been unable to go for days and, between the cafeteria salad bar (roughage!) and the frat party jungle juice, it’s been rather difficult. Read More »

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Austin Purifoy taught us a very valuable lesson this week when he pooped in the backseat of a car he thought belonged to his girlfriend – apparently you can go “too far” when it comes to getting back at your ex.  Though Mr. Purifoy won’t be arrested for his stunt, we thought this one went a little beyond what’s considered reasonable revenge.  The line is fine and often hard to define, but here’s our best attempt at outlining what is and what isn’t acceptable bitch behavior:

Okay: Putting something gross in your ex’s car.  Like an onion.  Or a dead hermit crab.
Not okay: Having that “gross thing” be poop.  Yours or anyone else’s.

Read More »

Tuffy Luv is your friendly neighborhood advice columnist. You can find her swinging from buildings…or at TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com. Either way.

Dear Tuffy Luv,

My college program keeps me and my friends in school full time in the summer. I was totally excited to be back at school after our winter internships and see all my friends. Everything was going totally swell. The weather was great and we had one midterm left to go so we started planning a beach trip/camping trip. I didn’t have the same lunch break as my friends so I left some of the detail planning up to them. Anyway, it was a couple a days before we were planning on going camping and I’m hanging out with my best friend. She is literally my only girl friend at college (male dominated programs are tricky that way) and a really important to me. I saw a list of camping supplies on her dresser and asked what was up with the planning and how much money I owed for supplies. And then her exact words are “You’re not going.” I got bumped from the trip because there wasn’t enough room in the car.

I wouldn’t have normally been that upset or mad but one of the people going was her friend that didn’t live in our dorm and never hung out with the group of us that did. She only hung out with my friend who kicked me off the trip. The guys going were a really great bunch but one of them was also the guy that my friend was hooking up with and then later she found out he was seeing some other girl in the winter when he moved away for his internship.

Is it just me or did I totally just get replaced? We haven’t been speaking but I told her I was really pissed off about getting ditched and that we hadn’t tried to get another car or something. She really doesn’t think it was a big deal at all and thinks I’m being dumb for being pissed. I really don’t think I have anything to apologize for but clearly she thinks so since she hasn’t made any effort to talk to me after I told her I was mad. I really don’t want to “cave” and apologize for getting mad but she’s not making any effort to talk to me!

What do I do???

-Ditched. Read More »

As soon as I got to college, I started dating a guy who was a junior. Martin* wasn’t my typical type (basically, he was a lot less attractive, motivated, and thoughtful than what I’m used to) but I decided to give him a shot anyway. I was the typical nervous freshman and I think I subconsciously felt like he had knowledge that could make my transition into college a little easier.

Plus, who doesn’t want to date an older man?

We dated for almost a year, but things started falling apart when we went home for the summer. We fought all the time over the tiniest things, and the fact that my parents and friends absolutely hated him didn’t help. But I couldn’t stay away! When we got back to school, we would meet secretly; I couldn’t let anyone know that we were still seeing each other (and seeing a lot of each other, if you know what I mean) because they would have all been really pissed off. And I just didn’t care to deal with that. Read More »

When I was a sophomore I lived in a quad in my sorority house. That meant 4 girls, 45 pairs of jeans and over 100 pairs of shoes stuffed into a very tiny space. With bunk beds. The close quarters were an issue when any sort of studying had to get done (“Can’t you wait until after 90210 is over to start that paper?!”) or heavy drinking was going down (“Dude, there is not enough room in here for you to do the worm…”) but we made it work most of the time.

And then we had a date party.

For those of you who don’t know, a sorority date party consists of asking guys to join you at a bar where everyone gets very, very drunk. Kind of like any other night of the week but with dresses and a photographer.

Anyways, needless to say, my roommates and I got quite intoxicated. Upon returning to the sorority house, everyone proceeded to leave their men outside and completely pass out fully clothed. I was pretty much dead to the world when I suddenly woke up out of my sleep; something smelled really bad. It took me awhile to figure out where I was, why I was still wearing heels, and why there was a slice of pizza in my hand, but when I finally came to I realized that my roommate (whose bottom bunk was a mere 4 inches away from mine) was also sniffing the air with a not-so-happy look on her face. Read More »

It was a couple days after Christmas and my sister and I were at my parents’ cherished retirement pad in Florida. I was hungover and menstruating, so basically my mouth and vagina tasted like cat piss and pennies. We decided mimosas were in order… until I had a sip, remembered single handedly slamming a bottle of bubbly the night before and replaced the champagne with vodka. My mother came home two hours later, and was not happy that A. I had broken into her emergency alcohol supply (this actually exists) and B. that we had decided to get drunk before noon rather than returning/exchanging Christmas presents for her like we said we would three days in a row now.

The two man party kept going until 7 p.m., eight hours later, and somehow we convinced our dad to drive us to a local bar to watch a highly anticipated NFL game. In exchange, we would let him have our McFlurries that were in the freezer. (Also, true.)

The first thing I did when I walked into the bar was buy a waitress’ entire tray of Jell-O shots. The following things also happened at the bar that night: My sister, 21, made out with a 60 year old bartender for a free bag of Jay’s potato chips, I face planted in front of a young family having dinner and the mother says to her daughter “do not talk to that woman”, and as my father pulls in to pick us up I have my pants around my ankles (definitely on the rag), pissing in the parking lot terrace and using the hands of two old geezers to balance myself. (Apparently I had called my dad to tell him he couldn’t eat my McFlurry afterall and spoke like “someone had stapled my tongue to my chin” therefore, he felt compelled to come get us. A**hole.). Meanwhile, my sister is sitting Indian style in a handicap parking spot across from a child who couldn’t be older than twelve, ripping menthol cigarettes and telling him about the Christmas presents she got. Read More »

I’d like to meet the people in this neighborhood who require this friendly reminder.

Every week, CC and John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, saddest things he hears on his college campus. Join the Overheard revolution!Leave your own overheard convos in the comments or send ‘em over!

(Guys, walking through a grove on-campus.)

Guy: Nice day… birds, blue skies, not a cloud in sight. Yup. This rock looks pretty good to take a crap on.

(Older student, talking to high schooler on campus tour.)

Student: There’s actually a statistic, I think, something like 30 percent of the liquid of water parks is urine.

High schooler: Yeah, that sounds pretty reasonable. That’s about right.

Student: What the f***? No it’s not! That would be disgusting!

(Guy, preparing Mexican food.)

Guy: I love cilantro. It makes everything taste like it’s just been rinsed in a mountain waterfall. Read More »

Every week, CC and John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, saddest things he hears on his college campus. Join the Overheard revolution!Leave your own overheard convos in the comments or send ‘em over!

(Two students, hunched over books in Starbucks.)

Girl 1: Pith. That means ‘courage,’ right? Like ‘full of pith and vinegar’?

Girl 2: I think that’s ‘piss and vinegar.’

Girl 1: I guess I’ve only heard it said by gay pirates.

(Old people sitting down in a restaurant.)

Old Lady: Oh, in my industry, we only have one joke. Customers ask, ‘Which vacuum is the best?’ And I say, ‘Oh, they all suck.’ Ha!  Ha ha ha!

Other old people: Ha ha ha! Read More »