After watching Heidi Montag totally embarrass herself in front of billions of people at the Miss Universe pageant, I was overwhelmed by my feelings of anger. Hatred? Obvi. Annoyance? Check. Fits of giggles? You know it. But my anger surprised me. Why was I so damn mad?

And then I realized: here was a girl that has zero (zilch, nada, NOTHING) talent getting the opportunity of a lifetime while there are so many real singers out there that the world is truly missing out on.

Singers like Jesse Palter, one of the best new artists I’ve heard in a long-ass time. Jesse, who is well known and celebrated for her abilities as a Jazz singer, has a rare voice and a distinct sound that you can’t help but fall in love with. Her latest music (which I just downloaded from iTunes and is already on my most played list….) makes you feel good. Feel happy. Feel like dancing around in your undies (even with the drapes open!). And on top of all that, this girl is a major sweetheart. I’m not sure what I love more – the girl or the music – but either way you should get to know Ms. Jesse Palter:

The 5 Questions We Ask Everyone:

1. What is the most trouble you’ve ever gotten into?
Trouble? Who, me? I’ve never gotten into any trouble! Except for the time I dyed my hair blonde and left my eyebrows dark brown… Does that count? That was TROUBLING!

2. What are the five things you can’t live without?
1. My ipod/record player!
2. The internet – Hello. My name is Jesse and I’m an addict.
3. My Crackberry…errrr, Blackberry
4. Piano. I’d go crazy if I had all these compositional ideas in my head and no tool to help get them out.
5. Chocolate. I’ve tried. And failed. Miserably. Read More »

Dear (See Below) Bands,

I love your music. Love, love, love. But can you maybe try to be a little less annoying? It makes it so hard to defend you when I tell my friends about my favorite artists. Actually, it makes it hard to admit to anyone that you happen to be one of them.  And I want to make them like you, really, I do. But like that friend who has a minor character flaw that now pisses you off enough that you really can’t see the good in her anymore,  I’m finding it difficult to enjoy your music knowing how annoying you are.

Here are some heart-to-heart tips from your loving (secret) admirer to be a little less annoying and a little more rock and roll.

Fall Out Boy

You always have a spot in my 6-CD player in my car. Sugar, you’ll never go down on the playlist for me if you continue to make some of the sweetest pop punk music out there. But please, Pete Wentz, I’m begging you – cut your hair, lay off the eyeliner and put on a damn shirt when you are on a magazine cover. You need to settle down – you play bass. And, um, you have a kid?

Also, Patrick, can you please enunciate your song lyrics so I can actually sing along and not just randomly open my mouth while humming the tune to look like I know what I’m singing? And what’s up with the weird syntax and bizzare punctuation in the song titles? Thnks Fr Th Confusn. I mean, e.e. Cummings was a legit poet, while you’re just… an antithesis of all semblance of reason. And grammar. My English teacher highly disapproves. Read More »

Katy Perry hasn’t always been the girl-and-vintage-loving vixen we’ve come to know.  At one time, this over-exposed (admit it, she’s everywhere) poptart went around calling herself Katy Hudson and singing Ani DiFranco-ish songs about God and religion.

When the God Rocker thing didn’t work out, Katy decided to go in a completely different direction.  Her pseudo-lesbian song, combined with lots of boob shots, has put Katy Perry on the cover of Blender magazine as well as on the pages of gossip blogs everywhere.

So what are we to learn from this transformation?  Boobs trump God?  Image is everything?  A catchy beat can make you a star?

One thing we do know is that no matter how much Perry wears them, high waisted booty shorts are never finding a place in our wardrobe.

Sometimes, the best things in life come unexpectedly. Like that time you ran into a store “just to browse” and you found a rockin pair of jeans for super cheap. Or when you got randomly paired up with your roommate and now you can’t imagine how you lived the last 20 years without her- you swear you must have been separated at birth.

This got us thinking – that perhaps, the best MEN in life also come unexpectedly… not only is timing everything, but apparently so is location. So we’ve put together the 5 most unlikely places to meet a man. Try them out or try out an unlikely place of you very own…

The 5 Most Unlikely Places to Meet a Man Read More »

Meet Emily David, aka Queen Emily. She’s a 40-year-old single mom, a snappy dresser, and the only talented person on Tuesday night’s episode of America’s Got Talent.

I haven’t heard such a great rendition of Chain of Fools since Turkey Sub from School of Rock. It was proud, soulful, sassy, and confident. It was the voice of a woman who’d worked hard, walked through hell and lived to tell about it.

In her interview, Emily said, “So many times I think it will never happen for me…but then I go and look in the mirror and say ‘Why not me?’”

Why not you Emily? Why shouldn’t you take this show (and this country) by the shoulders and shake us out of a crappy music slump?

We’ve put up with pop starlets too long. Even those with good voices haven’t had the life experience to make their songs really sing. We’ve confused drunk driving, pantie dropping and stage parents with celebrity and even worse…with talent. And what do we have to show for it? Why should we wait for Disney to tell us who the next pop idol/future pariah is when hard-working, truly gifted people people like Emily are right in front of us? Read More »

I have a confession to make. I don’t get Madonna.

Not only do I not get her, I’m not a fan. I’ve never been a fan.

I’ve grown up with the Material Girl, and every couple of years or so when she goes and makes a drastic change in her personality, looks, and music, I think now! Now surely I’ll like her! She’s different!

But alas, that’s never the case. No matter who she is at the time – wacky-haired, sleeping-with-everyone Madonna, Henna-tattooed, meditative Madonna, super-yoga master Madonna – I just can’t bring myself to be like everyone else in America and adore her.

First of all, her songs have never resonated with me. Which is strange, because I love pop and dance music. Okay, so Like a Prayer is totally fun, but it’s not the type of song I can listen to over and over. And ever since the 90’s hit, I haven’t really liked anything of hers. Her voice isn’t something to write home about, her lyrics are never particularly interesting (except for Papa Don’t Preach. I’ll acquiesce. Those lyrics are pretty subversive), and the actual songs themselves always sound like replicas of something I’ve heard before.

Plus – and again, maybe this is just me – Madonna seems mean. Read More »