Is it true though? Or are the tabloids just running exaggerated fantasies to harpoon mass appeal? It’s hard to know because these grandiose lifestyles are perpetuated by the attention drawn to them (unless the celebrity is actually talented). Case in point — the Kardashian sex tape.

Bad publicity is good publicity, I suppose… especially for the venues that become associated with celebrity attendance (who doesn’t want to go to places where you might see a rockstar in a bar fight or catch Paris Hilton stripping down to… well… a slightly more naked version of her usual self?).

When talking about club publicity, nothing turns up the temp on a particular venue more than the drug habits of the celebrities. The scandalous behaviors of one Miss Britney Spears has made headlines for a variety of clubs in New York including an all time personal favorite, Marquee. Yes, she has been caught using drugs in the public bathrooms all around town and she’s not the only one. The question then becomes, of course, how many drugs are being done in these places? Certainly you run a high risk (pun intended) of being caught abusing drugs if you are a celebrity, but what about us ordinary folk? Are drugs swimming through the clubs as the tabloids would have us believe?

The answer is YES. I would never consider myself a drug abuser, but I know first hand that almost every club I have been to has it’s own underground microcosmic drug scene. Club Stereo was closed last year after several cocaine busts, though this came as no shock as Stereo was known for being “pot friendly” and leaving the club was like opening the Scoobie Doo van (smoke pouring out). Tenjune turns the other cheek when it comes to smoking the reefer in the VIP section and won’t ask why there are so many girls leaving the bathroom with runny noses. The real shocker comes from Le Souk where I witnessed some special k being snorted in the wide open.

I have also witnessed people getting arrested. Again, Club Stereo, you win in this department with flying colors. On two — no three occasions I witnessed drug raids there, but in the end, drug use was far far more frequent than the arrests that were made. This can probably be said true for almost any club and can be said especially true for celebrities. Amongst my celebrity encounters few involved sobriety (or much respect for, I dunno… THE LAW). Indeed, the Studio 54 mentality lives on in places like Bungalow 8 (where you might just order “a rum and coke.. hold the rum”).

These scenes are often under the radar of the public because of tight security. It’s nearly impossible to get in unless you know someone, ARE a celebrity or (at the very least) have your very own assistant. Places rarely have to answer to the law because undercover cops simply do not fit the demographic of these super-dooper (more like super-doper) high-end venues.

This doesn’t mean that the celebrity lives we read about aren’t embellished to perfection, but it certainly adds validity to the stories. The truth of the matter is, we aren’t living lives so separate from those we read about and if anything can be learned from the tabloids, it’s two things: 1) where the drugs are 2) where people get caught doing them.

The inner 7th grader in me is SUPER excited today.Why may you ask? Well its the day before Halloween. And whether I’m fourteen or forty-four the day before Halloween is filled with a sense of excitement.

Decorations are up, candy is in position, pumpkins are carved and costumes are ready. Everything is in its place and the young-at-heart-part of me has ants in my pants and is tired of waiting!

But that isn’t the only reason that today feels a bit more like 1999 than 2007. In 1999, you turned on TRL or the Today Show and who did you see?

Britney Spears or the Backstreet Boys singing to screaming pre-pubescent girls pronouncing their love with tears of adoration.

Flash forward to October 30th 2007: Turn on the Today Show and who do you see?

Post-pubescent girls still screaming their hearts out for the BSB.

Pull out your butterfly clips and Kipling back-pack purses girls:

Britney’s latest release Blackout and BSB’s Unbreakable (both aptly titled) are hitting stores today!

Let your inner teeny-bopper out. You know you remember the “Backstreet’s Back” dance (because you did it at every party/bar-mitzvah/alone in your room) Bust out a little. You know you want to. I won’t judge (i’m doing it too!) You know you miss the days of sugary pop that you can so easily belt out in your car or shower.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. We had a good thing going with pop and I’m Pumped with a capital P that it’s kinda-sorta back.

If this was 1999, their albums would be flying off the shelves selling millions in its first week. While that may or may not be the case this time around, aren’t you curious to hear what your teen idols are bringing this time around? (you know, besides shaving their heads and becoming tabloid fodder?)

I am! We can all use a little more feel good music.

For more info on the Backstreet Boys album and appearances click here

For more info on Britney click here (or turn to any tabloid)

What do you think about the return of our pop-stars post the pop-music phenomenon? Will you buy their albums? Do you think they’ll top the charts? Let us know after you listen!

I hope this letter finds you well. Or at least wearing a pair of underwear. I am writing to you today on behalf of all of us 20-something women who spent our high school and college years dancing/working out to your music and thinking of your ridiculous abs as we lay on the gym floor willing ourselves to do one last crunch.

We are worried about you, Britney.

It was only a few years ago that you sat atop the world in a one piece leather jumpsuit. Then along came Kevin. You fell in love, you got married and decided to bow out of the spotlight for a bit. That’s fine. I could have used a few new songs on my workout playlist, but everyone is entitled to a little “me” time. But, somehow, “Britney” time turned into “Trailer Park” time and we saw what can now be considered the furthest fall for a celeb since Michael Jackson started touching little boys.

What happened behind the closed doors at camp Spears? How did you go from the hottest thing on the planet to this?

Britney, while you totally screwed the pooch at the VMA’s (a bra and panty set? Really?!) and, while we’re at it, at raising children, it really isn’t that hard for you to make a comeback. Maybe not as a mega pop star, but at least as someone not totally crazy/white trash and who has a shred of dignity. And who can keep her eyelashes in the correct place while doing a giant interview on NBC.

Here are a few tips:

1. Accept Your Body….for what it is. Not what it once was. We all want to look like this, but some of us look like you…I mean, this. Cover up, honey. It is much sexier.

2. Lay Off The Booze: Partying with Paris is fun, but it is not for moms. You don’t see Gwen Stefani out getting wasted and hugging toilet bowls, do you? No. You also don’t see people talking shit about her all over the media. See the connection? No? Maybe we should talk about this one on one.

3. Wear Underwear: Not sure when this went out of fashion, but I swear I have seen your va jay jay more often (and up close) than I my own lately. Everyone knows you have one; you don’t need to show it off.

4. Step Away from the Calf Boots: I don’t know where this obsession came from, but boots that cut you off at the fattest part of your legs is not flattering. Especially when paired with a see through top that barely covers your ass.

5. Stop Performing: Just take some time to be a mom. I am not saying you can’t ever perform again, I am merely saying that until you remember what parts of the song you are supposed to lip sync to, you should probably just take a little break. Take some time to be a mom. Get back in shape. Figure out what your children’s names are. Anything! Just, please, stay away from the bedazzled bra and panty combo.

It really isn’t that hard, Brit. And the possibilities are endless. You could have another top record, you could earn the respect of millions, and – hopefully – you can make people stop talking about how great K-Fed is in all of this. (Seriously, how low have you sunk when a man that makes zero dollars and created Po Po Zao is seen as the better parent?) Just work with us, woman! Bring us back to the Britney glory days. And make this bitch stop crying.

Sincerely,

Lauren