Question?! Answer: Ask Tuffy Luv.

Dear Tuffy Luv,

This is really embarrassing, so I’m just going to say it – I love porn. My boyfriend likes porn, too, but he doesn’t know that I like it. I want to tell him, because I think it would be really hot to look at it together. But I’m embarassed. I also don’t want him to think I’m a slut or anything. We’ve been together all throughout college, so it’s not like he would think that but still… How can I tell him in a way that is sexy and not slutty?

Porn Lover

Dear Porn Lover,

That is totally not slutty. How is it slutty to want to enjoy something you find sexually satisfying with the very man you find sexually satisfying?! No. Slutty, it is not. Honey, here’s my advice:

During The Sexy Times, whisper a really sexy scenario into your boyfriend’s ear. When he’s all worked up over it, tell him you got it from your favorite porn and suggest watching it together. And then, you know, actually watch it together. I’m pretty sure he’ll be super excited. And I mean flooping SUPER excited. You like something he already likes, it’s related to sex, and you’re his girlfriend!

Girl, this isn’t a problem. This is every guy’s dream!

Hearts & Skulls,

Tuffy Luv

[lead image via Margarita Borodina / Shutterstock]

Porn tends to provoke intense reactions when one brings it up in conversation. Generally, people fall into two categories – those who are super enthusiastic and those who utterly despise everything about it. I completely understand both sides of the coin. I totally get the appeal of watching people fornicate – it’s a bit scandalous, has the potential to be informative/inspiring and, if you find the participants attractive, it’s a way to live out a fantasy. Sure, why not? Alternatively, porn can be abhorrent for a variety of reasons – whether it offends your moral sensibilities, your feminist sensibilities or your “no-woman-should-have-that-much-silicone-in-her-body” sensibilities, there are a lot of justifications for hating porn.

I, on the other hand, am ridiculously neutral. I’ve watched a bit of porn in my day – celebrity sex tapes, professional pornos and amateur attempts. I’ve watched straight, gay, lesbian, threesome, BDSM, interracial and more. I’ve watched it solo and with the boyfriend. But nothing ever clicks. I always feel so detached from the action that’s on screen. It doesn’t evoke much of anything from me, mentally or physically. I thought it would be something that I grew to like, but after 6 or 7 years of sporadic viewing, that has proven to not be the case. Read More »

Hi there, Dude!

First of all, your answer to the girl who found porn on her boyfriend’s computer was absolutely outstanding. I found out about my boyfriend’s porn a year into our beautiful relationship. I too was crushed, for I also felt as if I were “not good enough”. My boyfriend tried to explain to me that it had nothing to do with me, and of course… feeling a bit insecure, I overreacted. It took me a while, and a bunch of “Googling” to find out that guys are just complete wankers– and I am now glad to accept that fact.
I just have one underlying question and I don’t know who to ask. Here goes:

Read More »

If you’re thinking about entering the porn industry, you probably won’t be able to read children’s books to elementary school kids afterwards. Maybe it’s because you’ll stimulate too many of their senses with all your clothes on, or because you’ll somehow send subliminal messages and slip in sexual innuendos while reciting Dr. Seuss rhymes. Sorry, but after a career like that, you’re simply…unfit for this kind of thing. Read More »

I don’t know this because I saw his Internet history or his collection of Girls Gone Wild: College Edition DVDs. I know this because new research shows that all men do. Let me repeat that: All men watch porn. And that includes yours.

Researchers at University of Montreal set out to compare frequent viewers of pornography with those who have never seen porn and were UNABLE TO FIND A SINGLE MAN WHO HADN’T WATCHED PORN.

Now, if you’ll come to terms with that news, consider these five facts taken directly from the study:

1) Most men started watching porn around 10 years of age.

2) 90% of pornographic viewing consumption is online and 10% is purchased from stores.

3) Although single men watch more porn than men in relationships, their spoken-for counterparts still yield to this activity weekly. Read More »

Men are from Mars and women are from Venus. I’m sure you’ve heard this phrase and a million others about how different men and women are. There are so many differences that we rely on our favorite dudes to help us analyze boy situations and constantly debate the difference between the sexes in terms of love, sex and relationships. But the differences don’t just stop there. According to new research, men and women also differ in how they indulge their sexual curiosity.

Ogi Ogas and Sam Gaddam have been analyzing billions of web searches and found that women are more likely to seek out character-driven stories rather than explicitly visual scenes of sexual activity. Unlike men who need nothing more than a short porn clip (or a hot girl modeling a bra in a Victoria’s Secret catalog) to get aroused, women require more of a story – and an emotional connection – to be stimulated. Proof: women account for 90 percent of sales for the romance novel industry but only two percent of porn site subscriptions.

But why? Read More »

Here’s why porn is ruining men

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Of course you think you know everything about sex.  You’re a liberated, intelligent college woman, right?  And you’ve done your research; you know what’s what.  Well, guess what?  There’s always room for a little extra know-how, and we’ve compiled the ultimate resource on everything you need to know about sex.  Take notes, you just might learn a new fact or two.

1. How not to become a Baby Mama
The birth control method you might be using that…(wait for it)…doesn’t work 27% of the time.

2. Not all men are created equal
Is there such a thing as too big?  Too small?  Maybe a little…stubby?  With this visual guide you can tell if your man’s more a shower or a grower…or maybe a “soda can”.

3. It should last how long?
Apparently wishing for a guy who can go all night long isn’t what we need.  15 minutes max is what the pros recommend, and in reality, most couples spend less than seven minutes on intercourse.

Read More »

Okay, so we all know that the “pros” have a thing or two to say about bettering our sex lives.  Cosmo’s always telling us to put his needs ahead of ours (or so it seems, right?) and now scientists are offering up their two cents and it’s too reminiscent of Chem Lab for my liking.  Also, I have ADD and zone out any time my favorite things become educational.

So instead of getting all brainy on a topic that should be anything but, I offer you a regular girl’s guide to bettering your sexual endeavors.  You will not be tested on this material (at least not in a Scantron sort of way), just print it out and hang it above your bed.

1. Speak Up

Don’t wait for him to ask you what feels good.  If he’s a mildly oblivious (aww, but well-meaning) college dude, chances are he’ll think he’s doing just fine so long as you both leave satisfied.  Problem is, “just fine” isn’t always what you’re looking for.  Help him shoot for the stars by being vocal about what feels fabulous and what leaves you a little bored.

2. Dress Up

Who says costumes are just for Halloween and frat mixers?  I know you’ve got a few choice outfits in that closet waiting for the next CEOs and Office Hoes party.  Break ‘em out and watch his eyes (among other things) get big with excitement.

Read More »

We were talking about porn a couple weeks ago, and for some reason that article got me labeled as being a bit of a porn hater. To set the record straight – I dig porn, I watch porn, I think porn’s a good time. And more often than not, I think porn is hilarious.

Yeah, that’s right, I said it. I know that porno movies are supposed to be sexy and get their viewers all horny, but I find if I’m not already in the mood at least a little, they just make me laugh. Seriously, have you ever actually listened to the dialogue they put in those movies?

While I realize some people are genuinely concerned that porn will skew younger generations’ views of sex, I’m not here to talk about that this week. I’m here to talk about the ridiculous myths that are portrayed in porn (not to be confused with the ridiculous myths that are portrayed in movies). The ones so completely off base that not even the most naïve pubescent boy would believe them. Well, maybe they would, but I hope they’re the only ones…

Porn: All delivery men/plumbers/electricians are ridiculously good looking, and you will end up having sex with them when they come to “deliver your package,” “unclog your pipes” or give you some “high voltage” lovin’.” Okay, so I don’t actually know a sexy term that can be made out of an electrician’s work, so I used a bit of an AC/DC reference instead. But you get the point.
Real life: Um, have you seen the guys that typically do those things in real life? I’m not hating on these people, but usually they’re hairy, old, and fat, with their cracks showing. Or at least the ones that always “service” my apartment. If they do happen to be good looking, they’re probably married. And I mean, if you sleep with your plumber, who are you going to call when the toilet gets clogged? Embarrassing… Read More »