After undergoing a week long sex-education unit in my seventh grade health class, my creepy health teacher passed out two promise cards for us girls to sign, which stated that we promised to remain abstinent until marriage. While we were told to sign one for ourselves to keep in our purse, we were also expected to leave our John Hancock on one of the cards to turn in as an assignment – no questions asked. As my classmates complacently signed their names on the dotted lines, I remember thinking how ridiculous this task seemed – why was my stance on virginity anyone’s business? If only my feminist hero, Jessica Valenti was around then!

Feminist blogger (Feministing) and author of Full Frontal Feminism and He’s A Stud, She’s A Slut and 49 Other Double Standards Every Women Should Know, Jessica Valenti’s latest book The Purity Myth tackles the issue of “how America’s obsession with virginity is hurting young women.”

And it truly is.

Let’s get real. Regardless if you believe in saving sex for marriage or not, it is very alarming in a disparaging way to see girls only being granted value or worth for staying sexually pure instead of for their character. Why should sexuality (in the sense of remaining abstinent) be highly coveted over a teen girl’s qualities or accomplishments that make her unique? In a society that continues to worship abstinence (with virginity programs across the nation and federally funded purity balls), Valenti points out that while virginity is acceptable, having sex is also okay because at the end of the day, a young woman’s choice should not decide her existence as being morally up to standard or not.

From the get-go in The Purity Myth, Valenti confronts the definition of “virginity” and how for such an abstract idea, the concept controls and impacts girl culture today immeasurably: “The Purity Myth is for women who are suffering every day because of the lie that virginity exists, and that is has some bearing on who we are and how good we are.” Read More »

Remember the good ‘ole days when you could buy a porno and not feel so guilty because at least it had some plot line?  Well, that time is over.  Now you’re just a pervert.  The world’s strongest industry isn’t exempt from the economic downturn, after all.  The adult film industry is forgoing longer, plot-centric movies for simple, concept-based collections of scenes (think: MILFs, glasses, brunettes, etc.).

Apparently, I’m not the only one upset about this (and BOY, am I upset!…not really).  Some porn stars are mourning the loss of dialogue and any resemblance to a real acting job.  Now they’re delegated to scene after scene of hardcore sex.  But, who’s surprised?  It’s porn! People aren’t watching it for the suspense – they’re watching it for the sex. Even more, the internet is taking over all traditional visual media – Hulu, anyone?  If anything is over 10 minutes long, then most people move on to something shorter and more entertaining (read: more penetration, less time). Therefore, if porn movies are shot in segments, they can be easily broken down and disseminated throughout the internet more quickly.

But…but…what about the glory days?  Read More »

I believe that it’s a well known fact that almost all guys above 12 look at porn. It usually starts with the magazines stashed under their beds for secrecy, then progresses to scrambled porn channels and online porn sites. And, though you don’t want to believe it, it doesn’t matter whether they are single or in a relationship. Try “borrowing” your boyfriend’s computer and you’ll know what I’m talking about.

According to the guardian.co.uk website,”In the US, with the pornography industry bringing in up to $15 billion annually, people spend more on porn every year than they do on movie tickets and all the performing arts combined. Each year, in Los Angeles alone, more than 10,000 hardcore pornographic films are made, against an annual Hollywood average of just 400 movies.” Read More »

I am absolutely obsessed with the Food Network. My friend Rachael even goes so far as to refer to their cooking shows as “my porn.” Ironic, considering that some say that the Food Network uses angles and editing similar to that of pornography to make it more appealing. I don’t know if it’s the food, the angles, or the fact that my parents refuse to buy the full cable package, but I just can’t get enough of the Food Network. Here are some of my favorite shows/top reasons to check out the most addicting of television networks. What’s your excuse?

Paula Deen’s Home Cooking: You see, I’m a nutrition major. This (in theory) means that I should be a pretty healthy eater. The thing I love about Paula Deen’s cooking is that she makes the unhealthiest food possible. I have yet to see one of her southern dishes prepared without butter, mayonnaise, shortening, or some combination of the three. Watching her make disgustingly delicious food makes me feel like I’m indulging without actually consuming and subsequently gaining ten pounds of lard.

Sandra Lee’s Semi-Homemade: Sandra Lee basically embodies who I want to be when I’m in my 30s. Why? Because she’s hot, knows how to enjoy a good cocktail (or five), and can whip up an amazing meal without actually doing any of the dirty work herself. Plus, she makes the cutest little “tablescapes” out of practically nothing. Basically, watching her show gives you hope that you can be old and still have a life (and good looks to boot). Read More »

Larry Flynt and Joe Francis are all over the current economic crisis. And they are definitely two dudes we should be listening to.

Flynt, the fat guy who founded Hustler, and Francis, the genius creep behind Girls Gone Wild are outraged at the fact that the economy has bent the porn industry over and given it to them hard. Too graphic? Sorry.

Let me, rephrase. Apparently, XXX DVD sales have dropped a whopping 22%! That’s enough to make anyone’s panties jaw drop…

Flynt says that with the economy at a low, sex is the farthest thing from people’s minds (I wonder where he’s gettin his info from, cuz we’re pretty sure it’s not the farthest thing from our mind) and “It’s time for Congress to rejuvenate the sexual appetite of America.”

Yes, Congress. Share some of that sexual appetite we know you are all hiding, you sexy lawmakers, you.

The two men are asking for a $5 billion bailout and Mr. Francis himself is marching up to Washington to propose the bailout himself. Um, really? Seriously?

This gives whole new meaning to a stimulus package.

[For many of us, sex and college go together like Uggs and snow - you can’t have one without the other. So, we brought in one of Berkeley’s finest sex columnists, Elizabeth, to start a dialogue about the topic (and act) that is very near and dear to our hearts. Every Thursday she will get your day goin’ with a little somethin’ somethin’ that’s on her mind.]

Nina Hartley is an extremely successful adult film star with 650 different video appearances under her belt. Starting off as an exotic dancer in the ‘80s, she is now a published author and an award winning actress for both sexual and non-sexual roles. I met Nina when we both served on a panel about modern sexuality for the Commonwealth Club in San Francisco. I asked her to give me some of her wise wisdom about sex, relationships, and everything in between.

Me: Do you think sexual freedom (through porn, sex outside of relationships, etc.) is good for the advancement women, or detrimental to the advancement of their self esteem?

Nina: Sexual freedom and autonomy are vital components of women’s greater equality in society. We are adults, not children in need of protection. Whether or not a woman’s exercise of this freedom is good or bad for her depends upon her making choices that are consistent with her values and beliefs. When we do things that go against our understanding of ourselves and the world, bad things usually happen as a result. My choices wouldn’t be good ones for very many women, nor would their choices be good for me.

M: We all know the key to being sexy is confidence. Do you have any special advice for being, or even just appearing, confident? Perhaps something you picked up through the industry? Read More »

This was a week for decisions. Major decisions. And boy, did we make them. We elected Barack Obama as the 44^th (and first African-American) President of the United States. And though we didn’t directly choose Michelle Obama (or any of the First Ladies), we did decide who’s hot and who’s not.  We chose between working out at the gym and at home, between babes and nerds, between trendy skirts and patterned leggings. On the relationship side of things, we decided to make the jump from friends to lovers, and subsequently from lovers back to friends. We learned that guys get off on porn (really?), and girls become more fertile by watching Sex and the City. We decided that you shouldn’t spend too much money on dating, and on the proper prep work for losing your v-card.

And now that it’s Friday, take a break from all the deliberations and enjoy the weekend!

David Duchovny has it. Halle Berry keeps getting involved with guys who have it. And you can supposedly add Michael Douglas, Lindsey Lohan, Britney Spears and a slew of other celebs to the list(s). But really, what is sex addiction, and do you or I have it?

Sex addiction is not about having a lot of sex or really, really enjoying it. Sex addiction is when someone’s sexual preoccupation causes their life to become unmanageable, demonstrated through a range of behaviors including pornography, voyeurism, masturbation and promiscuity. Over time, the behavior can become more intense as the addict’s need intensifies as they attempt to use sex to escape their problems.

In a case like Duchovny, whose addiction was to internet porn, simply having more sex with your partner will not satifsy the addiction. So much of the thrill and enjoyment lies in obtaining the sex and afterward, the addict often feels ashamed or embarrassed after the episode only to go on to repeat the behavior again and again because they cannot control their impulses.

Like drugs or alcohol, sex addiction dominates your life and is just as potentially destructive, as addicts may turn to prostitutes, go into tremendous debt, lose their jobs, put their health at risk and destroy relationships. It’s not a joke nor is it an excuse for infidelity.

If you’re curious and want to learn more or if you want to know where you stand, you can visit the sex addicts anonymous website or take the 45 questions assessment at sexhelp.com.

Looks like President Bush has been playing some Olympics drinking games of his own.

The Chinese are mean!

Russia takes a break. Georgia disagrees.

I didn’t think it was possible, but Jake Gyllenhaal is lookin’...ew.

In memory of Isaac Hayes…a song. About the menstrual cycle.

Britney’s back, bitches.

Cheerleading - that sh*t is dangerous!

Where has all the porn for straight women gone?

Gossip Girl has been gone too long; how about a little fix?

It’s time to give tequila another shot (pun intended).

Bored at work? This may be the best game of all time.

See the picture to the left? Is this porn to you? Can you see yourself getting all hot and bothered at the sight of this guy?

Apparently, when some women think pornography, they think “hot guy with his shirt off taking out the trash.”

Photographer Susan Anderson and The Cambridge Women’s Pornography Cooperative (which sounds cool but doesn’t have a lot of media attached to it, at least according to Google and Wikipedia) asked women, young, old, rich, and poor, “What really, really gets you hot?” and then proceeded to write a book about it.

According to the authors of Porn For Women, the sorts of things that get us breathing heavy are “beautiful PG photos of hunky men cooking, listening, [and] asking for directions, accompanied by steamy captions: “I love a clean house!” or “As long as I have two legs to walk on, you’ll never take out the trash.””

Uh.

I mean, my grandma would approve.

When I think of porn for women, I think of naked guys doing a lot more than listening, and there sure isn’t a need for any captions.

While it’s pretty obvious this book is a joke, you have to wonder why the photographer and authors thought it necessary to keep it “PG”. Why not have guys vacuuming and dusting in the buff? Read More »