Over the past eight years American Idol has been bringing the country’s undiscovered talent (and um…this) into our living rooms via our 50 inch flat screens (I wish).  There’s nothing like watching Randy, Simon and Paula whittle down thousands of hopefuls into 12 finalists who will spend weeks singin’ their little hearts out for us, while we feverishly grab our phones at the end of the show to cast our vote for the hottest guy best performer.

This season, our beloved Idol is facing some changes. Sweet little Paula Abdul is being replaced by comedian Ellen Degeneres, and (gasp) SIMON IS LEAVING!?!?!?!? Oh wait. He’s not going anywhere yet. Phew. I’m not sure if I could handle so much change.

Anyways, now that I’ve regained my sanity (thanks to a delicious spoonful of PB), I’m holding out hope that the ninth season will be just as good as past ones, but there are definitely some things I’ll be missing about the old Idol.

Gonna Miss: Paula’s arm-waving-seated-dancing. And her questionable sobriety.
Excited For: Ellen’s signature dance moves. That woman can work it!

Gonna Miss: Paula’s sympathy.  After laughing my ass off at the absolute WORST singers (and dancers), deep down I felt a pang of sadness for them.  But she could find something positive to say to almost any Idol hopeful. Usually about their wardrobe choices.
Excited For: Posh Spice. Maybe she’ll bring her hubby along to the auditions?!

Gonna Miss: Sex scandals with the contestants.  Who can forget the rumors that Paula and cornrowed crooner Corey Clark indulged in a little backstage nookie?
Excited For: Well, there’s always hope for a new sex scandal, right?

Gonna Miss: The obvious sexual tension between Simon and Paula.
Excited For: Sexual tension between Randy and Simon? Randy and Kara? Kara and Ellen??

Gonna Miss: Paula’s accessories. I often wondered how Crazy Abdul could lift her arms, let alone do that weird open-palm clap thing she was so fond of.
Excited For: Randy’s jewelry. And Kara’s near-nipple-exposing tops. And Simon’s near-nipple exposing tops.

Gonna Miss: Trainwrecks of past seasons. I admit, I live for the first few weeks of Idol before they turn away all the crazies. “Scat Girl” gets me every time.  Not to mention that when I’m sitting on the couch, dateless and eating pints of Haagen Dazs, I like watching people who (I think) are even more pathetic.
Excited For: The new Idol! (and runner-up, because they always seem to get record deals, don’t they?) Will it be a guy or girl? Will they blossom into a superstar (hellooo, Carrie Underwood!), or a one-hit wonder (what ever happened to Ruben Studdard?)? Will they go on to perform at an award show and stuff some guy’s face into their crotch? Sigh. We’ll have to wait and see.

With all the changes coming this season, at least we can count on some things that won’t be going anywhere: Randy calling everyone “dawg” every five seconds, Simon getting booed, and, of course, Ryan Seacrest and his signature sendoff, “Seacrest, out!”

Don’t forget to set your DVRs! American Idol starts tonight at 8pm!

Looks like Balloon-boy’s family wants to be famous.

Madonna’s making enemies.

Did Nicole Richie tie the knot??

Let’s talk about credit card debt.

Spotted: Posh Spice on Gossip Girl!

This must be the son of Superman.

And we care, why?

Who wore what to the Teen Choice Awards?

You don’t eff with Jeremy Piven.

Flirt like a pro.

That’s a little TMI for Facebook, dontcha think?

Michael Jackson’s coming to the big screen.

Posh might be too nice for American Idol.

Victoria Beckham may be Idol’s newest judge.

Steven Tyler’s moves aren’t what they used to be.

Are guys OK with just cuddling?

Penelope Cruz is gonna have one beautiful baby.

The 13 sexiest movie scenes ever.

Drink to a better complexion?

Sure, it may be full of exclusive tips that you are dying to learn and try out on your man, but can you really muster the moxie to pay for it along with a bottle of water and box of pens?

“What if the cashier thinks I have an oral-fixation that I need to feed in between classes by learning how to properly fellate a fellow?” The embarrassment would be akin to buying the economy-size box of tampons at the grocery store while still in your PMS PJs.

But, now I wonder: what other hidden treasures can I find in the bookstore that I’m too scared to plunk down the cash for in public?

Unhooked: How Young Women Pursue Sex, Delay Love, and Lose at Both
What it’s about: So, do you think that by hooking up you’re being sexually empowered and going after what you want for a change? Not so, says Laura Sessions Stepp. She “follows three groups of young women over the course of an academic year to discover what hooking up is all about. She attends class with them, parties with them, and listens to them talk about their sexual encounters – coming away with some enlightening and disturbing insights into sexuality.”

What it tells the cashier: I am sorta slutty and I want to know the repercussions.

Confessions of an Heiress: A Tongue in Chic Peek Behind the Pose and That Extra Half an Inch: Hair, Heels and Everything in Between
What They’re About: This is a two-fer because either of these books would make me feel like a chihuahua carrying, air-headed attention whore… with really cute shoes. However, Paris Hilton’s Confessions of an Heiress: A Tongue in Chic Peek Behind the Pose lures me in with it’s sparkly cover, clever title pun and full-page, colored pictures. Unfortunately, much like the author herself, this book is really pretty on the outside, but lacks any substance on the inside. A similar book, That Extra Half an Inch: Hair, Heels and Everything in Between, is Mrs. David Beckham’s attempt at literature. It has tips on how to wear your LBD, find awesome bargains and gives you space to make notes about your favorite fashion tricks. It’s a pretty hefty book for the price and I’d wager the spine is thicker than Vickie’s waist.

What it tells the cashier: I’m a moron with a really great closet.

Die Happy: 499 Thing’s Every Guy’s Gotta Do While He Still Can
What it’s about: A what-to-do guide written for men, by men, that gives great insight into what these crazy creatures really want in life. While my Bucket List contains dreams of visting Paris, getting a Masters degree and celebrating New Years in Times Square, this book reveals that guys’ dreams top out at swimming with sharks, taking a job as a cab driver and playing drunk golf. A funny read and peek inside the male mind, this book makes me feel a little like a dirty voyeur…and I kinda like it.

What it tells the cashier: I’m a dirty voyeur… and also slighty weird for wanting to delve this deeply into the male mind.

Filthy Shakespeare: Shakespeare’s Most Outrageous Sexual Puns
What it’s about: Desperate to develop an interest in Shakespeare so you aren’t bored to death during that section in Lit?  This is a book for the easily distracted student whose dirty mind reads too deep into a silly coincidence. Who knew that Shakespeare wanted the word “all” to be pronounced like “hole” and the word “wit” was meant to represent the vajay. Naughty, Willy!

What it tells the cashier: I think the word Willy is funny. Tee hee.

I Lick My Cheese
What it’s about: If you live with filthy, annoying roommates, then this book is right up your alley! It may just be a picture book, but its compilation of photos of notes left by roomies that will have you laughing in the aisles. Sure, it’s not a book of merit where you’re going to learn anything useful or look like a studious co-ed, but who doesn’t love reading notes about poop in an unflushed toilet?

What it tells the cashier: My mom gave me money to buy books and I’m buying a picture book. About poop.

So maybe these books will make you blush when you decide to have the cashier ring them up, but they may also provide hours of entertainment. If your brain is tired of slogging through chapters on the Great Depression, maybe its time for a little hilarity.

And you can always order them online, or just try to do what I do: grab one of these books, pull your hoodie down over your eyes, throw cash at the counter and run away screaming.

Hey, don’t judge me!

I don’t want to know…

Victoria’s Secret’s Pink launches new bath line.

Isla Fisher’s got some style

This whole monkey story is so sad. And he was so cute.

Spring Break is coming up! Where are you going?

What is Obama’s housing plan?

Spring is just around the corner…time for Spring makeup! YES!

Posh can do no wrong…ever.

Lilo and Chace Crawford? Absolutely not.

Selena Gomez is adorable…and soo over N. Jonas.

What Brad Pitt’s Oscar speech really said.

Apparently, Marky-poo’s decision to sign with the Yanks was heavily influenced by his wife, Leigh, which we here at CC find totally amazing. It’s one thing to gently guide your man into buying not-so-ugly jeans, or spending his time with you instead of the guys, but there is something to be said about a woman who can dictate her uber-successful husband’s career.

Guess we know who wears the pants in that one.

So this got us thinking: what other couples (besides our parents who both know that mama is boss) out there are dominated by the lady?

It seems this is far more common than we all thought – women are dominating relationships all over Hollywood. Here are a few of our favorites:

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt. Ok, so, yeah, he’s Brad Pitt – God of Gorgeous, but let’s be real. It’s pretty clear that Ms. Jolie has a firm grip on his balls (lucky bitch).

Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer. Brad’s ex may have been the one left in the dust in that relationship, but we all know who’s running ship now. In her interview for Vogue’s December issue, Aniston was quoted saying, “Trust me, you’ll never see that happen again from that man,” about Johnny’s comments to the Paps regarding their earlier break-up. You tell him, home girl.

Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher. Maybe it’s the fact that she’s old enough to be his mother, but it’s undeniable that Demi wears the pants in this one. We imagine she even tucks him in at night. Awww.

Victoria and David Beckham. Probably the most beautiful couple ever, but I have a sneaking suspicion that what Posh says, goes. (Lord knows he would never pick out a sweater like that.) Unlike me, I’m sure Posh has become immune to David’s smoldering good looks. Personally, I’d give that man whatever he wants. But that’s just me.

Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal. They are an adorable couple, aren’t they? But my guess is that Reese isn’t about to put with any more male shenanigans (Ryan, you idiot), so she’s keepin Jakey in check. Atta-girl.

Madonna and Guy Richie. RIP. This may be a case of woman on top gone wrong (not like that, dirty; that kind can never go wrong, teehee). Sure, it’s over, but there is no doubt Madonna ran sh*t in that household. Rumor has it she would schedule him in for sex. That’s no way to live. I mean, you gotta give it to the woman for letting no man run her life, but damn, girl.

These couples just prove that behind every good (looking) man there is an even better woman.

Of course, no celebs are immune to the occasional “what the hell were they thinking?” moment, but for the most part, these celebs look foxy and fabulous and inspire us all to do the same.]

She is known for her teeny frame, perfect pout, oversized sunglasses and some of the hottest arm-candy on the planet: David Beckham. Victoria Beckham, AKA Posh Spice, is definitely a style icon of our era. Her style causes a stir everywhere she goes and women around the world try to mimic her look, from her towering heels to her ultra-short hems. Even her ever-changing hairstyle makes front page news, leading women to rush to their hairstylists to get the latest “Posh.”

Her style varies often and Posh does everything from putting her own touch on classic styles to wearing innovative pieces that other people wouldn’t dare to try off the runway. She breaks fashion rules (like matchy-matchy accessories), sets new trends, and even has her own denim line (DVB: Denim by Victoria Beckham). Whether strutting her stuff in mini skirts and Christian Louboutins or jeans, military jackets, and boots, Victoria looks nothing short of fierce and she’s certainly an inspiration to all fashionistas out there.

…and perfect make-up for you!

Be ahead of the game: hair trends for Spring ’09!

Ok, iPhone lovas…here are some tips to keep your battery going

Would you rock these to Thanksgiving with the folks?

Posh Spice will always be hot…always.

Angie vs. Jen: will it ever end?!

Hugh Jackman is the Sexiest Man on Earth…seriously.

Baby cockfights… so wrong.

Merry freakin Christmas!!! Vince Vaugh on the cover Esquire and he is lookin mighty fine!

Paris buys a brothel…surprise surprise

Becks and Posh are leaving us…but they’re coming back! PROMISE!

Move over, Palin! Obama’s taking over Saturday night!

Zac + Johnny= hotttt pirates!

Janet’s not making ends meet?

Audrina in a dunk tank. ’nuff said.

Some candy for the men…Angelina’s boobies!

What is with the Hogan parents dating people that look like their children?!

Aunt Becky’s boobies are timeless…

Mistrial shmistrial – Brit Brit’s lookin gooood