I need a focus adjustment. Let’s just say I’ve been a little on the negative side lately. At first, I tried blaming it on the crappy weather (like I usually do) and then I realized I could be dealing with a personal problem.

For example, whenever I’m about to do virtually anything, I immediately envision the worst possible outcome. From sending a text to a guy for the first time (i.e. he is going to think I’m clingy or too weird) to expressing my opinion at work (i.e. everyone is going to think I’m crazy, my boss is going to fire me and where will I live after that?)…it’s becoming a problem. (Okay, not a lot of my thoughts are this dramatic, I’m just trying to make a point. I need a focus adjustment.)

The good news is, I think the fix is pretty simple.

I need to focus on what I DO want to happen instead of focusing on what I DON’T want to happen. When I send a guy a text, I need to confidently believe that he is excited to hear from me. I need to have a crisp understanding that he probably thinks what I have to say is cute and endearing. When I want to express my opinions/ideas at work, I need to focus on the positive new opportunities I’m bringing to the table. I need to zero in on all of the great things that could come out of saying what I feel.

Positive thinking is the match that strikes every great success story. If I wake up with the thought something wonderful is going to happen that day (and I pay close enough attention) something magical will happen. Even if it’s something small.

For example, I experimented with my new philosophy just this morning. Instead of waking up and deciding I was going to be crabby because it was that time of the month, I woke up with a fresh face and a glowy attitude for no reason. It was the smallest effort EVER. I literally did not do anything different with my morning. BUT, the beauty of this whole entire (starting to sound lame) story was that I didn’t pinpoint anything negative that happened to me. Minor things (cars pulling out in front of me, people cutting in front of my path in Target, etc.) didn’t ruin my day. And I would go about my own 24 hours pretty happily.

It’s really very magical and focus-altering. Turning the teeniest negative thought into a positive one could change your (or someone else’s, depending how violent you are) day. And when your inside center is sharp, things will be so much clearer.

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The school year is almost over, and although summer vacation is right around the corner, the end of the school year also comes with a lot of stress: studying for finals, writing term papers, and (for seniors) graduation.  Thinking about it too much is enough to make anyone depressed.

But dwelling on all the negativity can make you forget about all the really great things that the last few weeks of the semester bring, like year-end parties, no more classes, and beautiful weather.  That kind of thinking is what the new site Life is Beautiful is all about: spreading positivity through the good things in life. Read More »

Lately, it seems like the whole freakin’ world has been on a self-help kick. In recent years, the $11 billion dollar industry has flourished. It’s provided us with “miracle” books like The Secret and an array of self-proclaimed internet self-help gurus (or trust fund babies with pink hair and Daddy’s cash?) like Gala Darling.

Everybody’s trying out this “positive psychology” thing. Basically, positive psychology is the attempt to change self-defeating, negative thoughts, like, “I hate myself because my thighs touch and hers don’t” into more positive ones like, “My thighs might touch, but my calves sure do look hot in heels…and I bet she’s anorexic anyway.” Or whatever.

Well, somebody thinks we’re doin ‘ it all wrong.

According to Canadian researchers, “just thinking positive” can actually have the opposite effect. It can make people realize just how miserable they truly are.

The study started by highlighting old research that if people get feedback they believe is overly positive, they just feel like more sh*t than they did originally. Like when my boyf grabs at my tummy fat and a minute later tries to tell me that I have “such a nice stomach.” You better believe that as soon as that boy is out the door, I’m gorging my face with Peanut Butter Passion ice cream in shame.

The article in TIME, which reported this research, states that, “If you tell your dim friend he has the potential of an Einstein, you’re just underlying his faults.” And no matter how dumb that person is, he knows it, you jerk. Read More »