I remember those naive high school days when puking during a rager meant that a) you couldn’t control your liquor and b) the party was over, for you. That’s why I was shocked one night during my freshman year of college, when my friend came back from the bathroom and proudly announced, “Oh, man, I just puked my brains out!”

I immediately switched to babysitter-mode. “Are you okay? Do we need to leave?” I asked, fully concerned.

“Nope!” My friend replied. “Got more room for beer now!”

At the time, this was an unprecedented occurrence to me. I’d never considered the theory of “puke and rally.”

A few years later, I’ve totally become acquainted with this practice. One summer, after a coworker tried unsuccessfully to light three consecutive shots of Sambuca on fire in mouth, I knew that that much booze so quickly was not going to be good. After the third shot went down, I booked it for the bathroom and barfed. A friend was worriedly knocking on the bathroom door, concerned as I had once been for my own friend. I opened the door, and she asked if I was okay. My response?

“Let’s rage!”

It wasn’t until the next day that I’d admitted to vomiting. The funny thing is that, at the time, this seemed logical. But as I’m writing this, I am already imagining the scathing comments this article will receive from disgusted CC readers.

The truth is, there are thousands of college girls across the country who have taken to this procedure. Not only is it easy to think you’re sobering up by sticking your finger down your throat midway through the night (newsflash, you really aren’t), but, in today’s media-crazed, looks-obsessed society, there’s a lot of pressure for women to keep the freshman (or sophomore, or junior, or senior) fifteen off. And a lot of the time, getting rid of the empty alcohol calories seems like the way to go.

It’s a lot easier to induce vomiting when you’re already close to naturally letting go, or when you’re buzzed enough not to feel your index finger scraping your tonsils. And then there’s the midnight munchies. You know, when that chicken parm calzone, side of curly fries, and half order of mozzarella sticks sobers you up enough to know that you’re going to want to throw up in the morning just thinking about all those calories. So, ladies, what do many of us do? We throw up.

Vomiting due to drinking doesn’t have the stigma that true bulimia has. Bulimia is a disease. Binge drinking in college is merely a social problem. Besides, there’s always the “that hit me way too hard” excuse. If you’ve thrown up from drinking, chances are, people will assume it was a freak incident, but if your friends suspect you of having an eating disorder, they will call for intervention. So making yourself throw up with the “well I was drunk” excuse doesn’t seem so bad.

The truth? Purging is purging. You can’t make excuses to your esophagus when it is being eaten away by the stomach acid you just conjured up. And if you’re drinking to excess every night and consistently blowing chunks before hitting the hay, you better write an apology letter to your liver as well.

So, ladies, let’s make a pact – let’s not over-do the binging, and let’s not rely on purging as a quick solution to our bad decisions. Besides, what happens when you run into a hot guy at the end of the night, and your breath smells (and tastes) like stale beer, vomit, and the lingering aromas of cheese fries?

In case you’ve ever wondered what to do if two dudes in a giant fake rhino come after you, this video should help.

Being in a relationship is great, but getting there totally sucks. You meet someone, start to like that someone and then go crazy trying to figure out if they like you, why they aren’t calling, if you should text them, if you should have kissed them, if telling them you love The Hills was too much information…

It sucks, which is why I think one-night stands are the way to go. Seriously, if you are safe (read: wrap that sh*t up) the one-night engagement is a total win/win. And here are 5 reasons why:

1. No expectations: When I meet a guy while ordering a round of Soco and Limes at the bar, I never think to myself, “Wow! He could be the one!” We both know that our relationship will last approximately 6 hours (if that long) and then we will both go our separate ways. No wondering when he’s gonna call, or if he also wants 2 kids and a Puggle. You do your thing and move on. The end.

2. You can try all those crazy positions: Since you’re never really gonna see the dude again anyway, why not try the Arm Chair? (Look it up.) If it goes poorly (and he ends up with a black eye) it doesn’t matter – you won’t be fraternizing with him again. And if it goes well you have mastered a new position for the next dude who buys you a cocktail.

3. It’s a good story: Good sex, bad sex or no sex (too much alcohol doesn’t always lend itself well to doin’ it) there will most definitely be a great story attached to it. And who doesn’t love a great hookup tale?

4. No late night food: Let’s face it; when you go home from the bar with the roomies someone always ends up making drunk dip/ordering a pizza. When you go home with a boy, however, food is the last thing on your mind. Unless it involves licking it off the other person. Plus, sex burns calories.

5. Learn what you like: Practice makes perfect and sex is no exception. The more you have, the more you learn, and one-night stands are the perfect study sessions.

Lots of times, when you’re in a new class in college, you can feel overwhelmed, embarrassed, and hesitant to speak up and give your two cents.

Unfortunately, slinking into the last row doesn’t always work; lots of classes base a part of your grade on participation, so speaking up is necessary. But, everyone gets those butterflies – the fear of being wrong or of giving the wrong impression is scarring and, for lots of people, a risk not worth taking.

I had a Psychology class my freshman year of over 550 people. Seriously, seriously scary. I never said a word. Sat there with my nose in the books and kept quiet until one day when the professor polled the entire class. Simple enough, right? Well, when I shot my hand up, face down of course, I noticed the room got extremely quiet. I looked up and realized that, out of 550 people, I was the only person who had raised a hand. So the professor asked me to stand up and explain why. It was then or never, so I got up, legs a little wobbly, and grew the courage to speak up.

What happened was pretty cool; no one laughed at me, no one made fun of me…everyone listened, smiled and, when I was done, went on with their business.

So, for all of you scared to talk in class, remember these points:

Everyone is in the same boat as you: Whether a freshman or a senior, the class you’re in is new for (almost) everyone.

There’s no wrong answer: While, technically, something you say could be academically incorrect, it’s never wrong to voice what you believe is the truth and/or your opinion

Teachers will admire you: Your professor will take note of your courage and keep it in mind when grade times come up!

You’ll contribute: By contributing to a conversation, you’ve embedded the conversation topic within your mind. So, when it comes time to study about that poem you were studying in English class, you’ll remember talking about it with your classmates!

Practice: If you are still a little worried about getting up in front of everyone, practice. When you’re in your room late at night, practice what you’d say about a specific topic so you’ll be prepared when the time is right to say something!

And, if it ever gets realllly tough, just picture everyone (including that cute boy you’ve been eyeing) naked!

Be Confident!

(Photo courtesy of spacegrant.nau.edu)