You know those artists that just seem to disappear all of the sudden? One minute they’re in your life (and in your head) and the next, you don’t really know where they are and you spend your days wondering if they took some office job somewhere.

This week’s new releases are all just like that. Once upon a time, I listened to these artists, but it’s been a while. And I was all “Oh my God, you’re still around?” when I heard they had new albums. I can’t even recall the last time I thought about Tori Amos, I happy pushed Eminem from my mind long ago, and it had been a couple years since I really enjoyed Kate Voegele. And this week, they’re all back!

Tori Amos- Abnormally Attracted to Sin

I had forgotten about Tori Amos for a bit. Never really a huge fan, I always thought she had a pretty voice, but I never paid much attention to her. And I’m actually really enjoying Abnormally Attracted to Sin. It’s typical Tori – not the kind of music that’s going to get you all revved up, but it’s great to have playing while you’re working or just need to unwind. “Curtain Call” is one of my favorites from the album and I’m really feeling the oh-so-true lyrics, “By the time you’re 25/They will say ‘you’ve gone and blown it’/By the time you’re 35 I must confide/You will have blown them all/Right on cue just act surprised/When they invite you to take/Your curtain call.”

I’m also loving “Strong Black Vine” and its strings accompaniment, along with Tori’s especially powerful voice here. “Fire to the Plain” is one of the most energetic tracks on the album (though that’s not really saying much) and another good one. The album as a whole sounds a bit like a theater production, but I think that’s what most have come to expect from Tori and we love the fact that she actually makes it sound enjoyable.

Eminem- Relapse

So, he’s back and drug-free (I guess), but I already want him to go away again. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not an Eminem hater and I actual enjoy a lot of stuff from his past, like “Stan.” And I was excited for him to come back with Relapse, especially since I was enjoying “Crack a Bottle” with Dr. Dre and 50 Cent. But this album is a mess. Maybe I’m just getting too old for him, but I found myself continuously thinking, “Oh my God, how are the children going to be influenced??” while listening. Drugs! Abusing women! Homophobia! What are we teaching our kids? And the thing is, I know Eminem is trying to be funny and I can even laugh at lots of it. But I do worry about those with less developed minds. Do people actually use Eminem as a role model?

I do think a lot of the songs are actually good; many of them are danceable and have amazing beats. I want oh so badly to like them, but I just really don’t. I almost feel sorry for him and the fact that he’s becoming one big self-parody. In “Medicine Ball” he continuously says, “I guess it’s time for you to hate me again.” Yup, I guess so. Looks like Eminem knows full well it’s better to be hated than not thought about at all.

Kate Voegele- A Fine Mess

A couple years ago I fell in love with Kate Voegele’s “Only Fooling Myself” and then pretty much forgot about her, except when that song would randomly come up in my iTunes.  So when I heard she was coming out with a new album, A Fine Mess, I was pretty thrilled. My conclusion? I’m really enjoying Kate’s new album, but it’s certainly not groundbreaking and I don’t really see it catapulting her into fame. It’s the kind of album it takes a few listens to to really get into, and even then you’re not all crazy excited about it. I think she has the voice, but that the songs she’s singing just aren’t showcasing it enough. And the song titles are all totally blah and predictable. I’m mostly a fan of “99 Times” and can see it becoming a pop single, but I’m not exactly sure this is who Kate wants to be. “Manhattan From the Sky” does the best job of letting Kate show off her voice and “Who You Are Without Me” almost reminds me of Martinia McBride. I think Kate is still working on finding herself and I really hope she does.

But I’m young. And the fact that I’m eating cereal right out of the box because I can’t afford milk is just one of those side effects of trying to find yourself…right?

At least that’s what I thought. Until I went back to school this weekend (for the first of many weddings) and realized that everyone had gone and grown up while I was searching for pennies to pay for my coffee in New York.

It isn’t that I’m stuck back in my college days. In fact, I did quite the opposite after graduating. I moved further away (literally and figuratively) than anyone from home. But when I went back I realized that while I was still trying to find myself they had already done just that. With steady jobs, big rocks on their fingers, wedding planning and bed times.

My already confused and heartbroken self had just encountered one thing I had never planned on: my friends, all 23 and 24, were acting old.

Now I’m not saying that they were stiffs, we all drank and danced and had a really good time at the wedding. Sh*t, they even played Chubby Bunny by the bonfire (yes, there was a bonfire). But at the end of the night, when we got back to our hotel room, everyone was tired and wanted to go to bed…. at midnight.

And I was stuck on the floor with half a beer and some pistachios wondering what had happened to the girls that used to stay up half the night goofing off and talking and laughing until we cried or peed our pants or both.

Maybe it was the fact that I felt such a chasm between us. Me, up in New York a predictable mess and trying to find out what I want for myself. And them, down South, having everything figured out.

But it isn’t so much the geography that separates us but the ideals of what we want. I suppose I don’t want to have everything figured out right now because years later I want to know that I struggled and I searched and I understood where I was going before I got there.

I am happy for them that they have it all together and I am happy for me that I am just now starting to fall apart.

I know that this life, this unpredictable, messy, emotional life I am trying to sort out is the one I am supposed to be living. So maybe I am not grown up yet. But I’m looking forward to the years it takes me to become the grown up I am meant to be.