As if 16 & Pregnant and my 7^th grade health class didn’t give me enough reasons to never produce offspring, turns out there’s a bunch of other aspects of pregnancy that scare the hell out of me. Maybe I’m biased since I’ve never had much of an interest in having kids, but just consider this a fair warning from one female to another: if you don’t want to deal with the following, not to mention the actual raising of a human child, USE PROTECTION. Moving on.

1) Morning Sickness

One of the first things many think of when they hear the word “pregnancy” is morning sickness. “Oh, that’s nothing,” you may say. “I spent a whole night vomiting after Bobby’s house party, I can deal with a morning or two.” Oh, really? Morning sickness, which occurs in over half of all pregnant women and is often due to increased estrogen levels, doesn’t always stick to the morning. In fact, the nausea may last throughout the day and, in severe cases, excessive vomiting can lead to dehydration, weight loss, heartburn, flatulence and a host of other lovely side effects. This “extreme” morning sickness is called hyperemesis gravidarum and can land one in the hospital. Not so easy to deal with anymore, huh?

2) Diastasis recti

Diastasis recti is a separation between the left and right sides of the abdominal muscle during pregnancy. After you push that little rascal out, however, the walls stay separated, and what looks like a ridge runs down the middle of your belly (for the love of all that is holy, do not Google this image). In severe cases, if a woman becomes pregnant again, the outline of the uterus or fetus may appear to stick out of the stomach. I imagine it’s quite similar to that scene in Alien, but having no experience, I can’t be sure.

3) Incontinence

Incontinence (otherwise known as involuntarily peeing yourself) and pregnancy go hand-in-hand. The adorable bun growing in your oven unfortunately applies increasing pressure to your bladder. One inopportune sneeze and someone’s gonna have some cleaning up to do. However, hope is not lost! Turns out Kegel exercises (basically crunches for your lady bits) can help control leakage. So should you ever have trouble with the plumbing down there, there is a solution. Just sayin’.

4) Weird Skin Changes 

I’m not talking about that “pregnancy glow” in which pregnant women apparently take on characteristics of a Twilight vampire. The skin changes I’m referring to aren’t so attractive (not that glowing is necessarily attractive, but I digress). One common condition is chloasma. This occurs in 50-75% of pregnant women and is caused by increased melanin in the skin, which basically means you develop brown and/or yellowy patches, usually on your face. There is also an increased likelihood of spider veins and skin tags, as well as the development of acne because of the extra hormones now coursing through your body. As if this wasn’t enough to make you appear like you roam the bowels of an opera house (Phantom of the Opera anyone?), around one percent of pregnant women also develop PUPPS: that is, pruritic urticarial papules and plaques of pregnancy. Basically, these are itchy, red patches on the thighs, butt, abdomen and other extremities. Again, the faint of heart should not Google this.

5) Cheeseburger Crotch

Oh yeah. I went there. While I’m not sure if this is the correct medical terminology, “cheeseburger crotch” refers to a swelling of the vulva, which makes it appear as if you have stuffed a Big Mac into your panties. Cheeseburger crotch also comes with other wonderful side effects, such as itching, discharge and odor. Fabulous. Oddly enough, this term is safe to Google, but don’t say I didn’t warn you if you decide to explore.

In conclusion, ladies, pregnancy isn’t what they make it out to be in the movies. A bit of vomiting, some crying, maybe a little weight gain and then you get an adorable baby in the end. You can’t fool me, Hollywood! And now you readers won’t be fooled either. Be careful what you wish for.

Isabel is a sophomore at the University of Delaware. When not out unintentionally offending people, she enjoys the use of bad puns and a nice solo cup of whatever’s cheapest. Follow her inane tweets @IzzyAndTheJets.

When I started writing this column back in February the across the United States, many states were reevaluating their legislation around reproductive health. We’re nearing the end of the year and yet issues surrounding reproductive health are continuing to pop up. Access to abortion, distribution of Plan B, and issues around birth control are still coming up across they country.

In New Jersey, students at Ramapo College are petitioning around the access to Plan B on their campus. They believe there should be less restrictions on how it is accessed to ensure students are able to gain access to the pill within the recommended 72 hours. Our friends at Jezebel then took a look at how easy it is to access Plan B on different college campuses.

Access to Plan B is not limited to these New Jersey students. The Centre for Reproductive Rights is challenging a decision made by Health and Human Services secretary Kathleen Sebelius that forces people under 17 to gain a prescription to get Plan B over the counter.  The Food and Drug Administration had recommended the drug be made available over the counter to those even under 17. The FDA has provided evidence that girls as young as 12 could properly use Plan B.

While you might argue against the use of Plan B, for many women it is a way to prevent a pregnancy when they were being careful. It is an emergency contraceptive, not an abortion pill, meaning it doesn’t terminate a preexisting pregnancy, but prevents either fertilization; a fertilized egg from attaching to the uterus; or stops the egg from releasing.

Yes there are concerns that Plan B would encourage people to have unprotected sex. But a Journal of the American Medical Association study showed that women who had access to Plan B over-the-counter were no more likely to have unprotected sex.

Having an outsider perspective on the issue has me wondering one thing. If so many Americans are against government intervention in so many ways, why are they so keen to have someone else make a decision about women’s bodies?

Leah is in the last semester of her Bachelor of Journalism at Ryerson University in Toronto, Canada. She spent her summer interning at a radio station in Ghana and researching the state of maternal health on her days off. You can follow her on Twitter @ElleandBee. 

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There are a lot of decisions to be made in a long-term relationship — whose friends to hang out with more often, if and when to cohabit, whose place to crash at more often, and what you’d both like the future to look like. Once sex enters the relationship – whether if it’s on the first date or on the first night of marriage, there comes a whole new set of decisions to make.

For most couples, I think it’s fair to say that the go-to contraceptive plan usually involves condoms and some form of birth control (we were always told that two methods are better than one). Once that decision has been made and acted upon, the following months of getting-to-know-each other getting it on are usually passion-filled and use enough latex to make David Suzuki’s earth-loving head explode.

But regardless of what we’ve been taught, and regardless of how much we know we should be using condoms every single time no matter what, there does typically come a time in which the “should we go bareback” conversation will inevitably arise. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a huge proponent of safe sex, and I would never suggest going condomless outside of an LTR or without a backup form of birth control, but let’s be real here – it feels better and it’s just so much more convenient.

Yeah, I went there.

That said, there are some major issues to think about before you can even consider ditching the ‘domers.

Condoms are the only thing that protect against STIs. If you’re seriously considering removing condoms from your sex life (or at the very least, not making them an every-single-time necessity), you and your partner should consider being screened for any detectable infections. Yeah, that’s right, the detectable ones. Not all STIs can be screened for. Herpes, for example, can only be detected during an outbreak, and many other infections show no symptoms. Going condomless is a risk, and before doing so you need to seriously consider the repercussions.

Birth control, birth control, birth control. Unless you are hoping to start a family, going without a condom and not using another form of BC shouldn’t be an option. Acquire a form of birth control you feel comfortable with and can reliably take when you’re supposed to. Remember, taking that pill at the same time every day can be the difference between a pregnancy and a fetus-free uterus. Women’s Health has a great page that details the success/failure rates of different forms of birth control, which is a great place to start if you’re looking for a contraceptive that’s right for you.

Plan ahead. Even if you take your pill every day, or pull out right on time, or hell, even if you’re still using condoms, sometimes accidents happen. And by accidents I mean pregnancy. I think having sex with anyone needs to be prefaced with the conversation of what would be done if such an accident were to happen – and when you completely remove the semen-vagina barrier, that conversation becomes even more crucial. Are you and your partner on the same page as to what would happen in the case of an unplanned pregnancy? Do you know where to go to procure an abortion, or who to talk to about adoption? What would your life look like if you had a child now? All important things to figure out.

Like any other risky behavior, there’s a way to go about condom-free sex in a responsible way. It’s a personal choice, since the consequences are going to have to be dealt with by you and your partner. But what do you think — is going condomless worth it?

In a way, it kind of makes sense. There aren’t many people that we trust more than our friends, and when you spend a lot of time with a person of the opposite sex, it’s easy to let the hormones kick in and go with the sexy flow. It’s easy to have sex with a friend – someone who may have even picked up on your likes and dislikes from your previous trysts.

With a friend, sex kind of feels natural — something that was “a long time coming.”  And this is the part where I make the blatant statement that everyone with a FWB doesn’t want to admit – believe it or not, having sex with someone on a regular basis, even when you don’t put a “label” on it, is still a relationship.

Maybe not the kind of relationship in which you call each other late and night just to say “I love you,” or the kind where you bring them home to your parents  — but it’s something. You’re still single when you have a FWB, of course, but if sex is happening on a regular basis, your partner deserves the exact same courtesies that a boyfriend or girlfriend would.

I have a rule, and not to push my beliefs onto others, but it’s something that I feel pretty strongly that all people should follow: if you’re having sex with someone, they deserve to know if you start f**king someone else.

Sex, no matter if it’s protected or not, carries risk. While condoms are the only thing that protect against STIs, they are still not effective 100% of the time. Infections happen, and (potentially even worse) pregnancy can happen.

Since FWBs are typically of the non-monogamous variety (or else it’s just a normal relationship… sorry) there’s no “rule” claiming you both can’t have other partners. So if you’re going to sleep around, let your FWB know – out of sexual safety and just common courtesy.  If your FWB has a problem with you being with other people – it’s not as NSA as you were planning.

Bottom line – be honest. The hurt feelings from honesty wear off much faster than the hurt feelings from months of lying. As great as sex can be, and as much as sex tends to change the dynamics of a friendship, remember that it’s friends, not enemies, with benefits.

Bethenny Frankel from The Real Housewives of New York City has recently received a lot of flack for losing 29 of her 35 pounds baby weight in just less than three weeks. She gave birth to her premature daughter, who was born at just about 4 pounds, on May 8th, and has since reverted back to her original pre-baby 122 pounds body. To be honest, when I first read this about Bethenny (I had no idea who she was) I was shocked to find out that she lost more than 3/4 of her weight in less than 3 weeks. I understand that she was already pretty small (a size 4) before she got pregnant and she had been healthily monitoring her weight while she was pregnant….but her baby, Bren, was only four pounds when she was born! What does that say about her ‘actual’ eating habits when Bethenny was carrying this baby?

The problem with ‘celebrities’ (the term used very loosely) shedding the majority of their baby weight rapidly right after they give birth is that they give an extremely unrealistic perception of baby weight loss to the general public and to the women who emulate to look like these women. Given their status and fame, ‘celebrities’ are guaranteed the opportunity and time to work with a personal trainer, have chefs cook their foods, consult with a nutritionist and happily maintain the facade that they really didn’t do anything but “eat healthy” and “exercise” to lose weight after their pregnancies. While that is partly true, we often forget that these ways of weight loss are not meant to be completed in a span of three weeks but rather a longer and more tedious time frame where it’s not merely losing the baby weight but also trying to maintain the healthy fluids that are meant to be beneficial for the babies.

I do understand that the pressures of the industry do provoke even D-List celebrities like Bethenny to look fit, but it’s one thing to be fit and in shape just for yourself, but another thing to possibly endanger the life of your baby for the sake of looking skinny. Bethenny herself has clearly stated from the past that she’s struggled with healthy weight loss and nutrition since she was a kid and even has written bestseller books chronicling how to maintain a svelte figure. I do admire Bethenny’s endurance in keeping up with her weight (she says she lost almost 25 pounds of her baby weight just via C-Section), but when ‘celebrities’ send out these type of messages, they must stress the importance of healthy weight loss and eating right.

We often forget that while we look up to celebrities for their physical attributes, most of the times, they have many more resources than us in looking good. Yes, do stay slim and in shape, but maintain it in a healthy manner.

This week, under the category of “news that made me say WTF!” was this little story about students at Georgetown University taping their mouths and chaining themselves to a statue in front of the school in protest of the fact the Georgetown doesn’t provide or help to provide contraceptive options like condoms to it’s students. The school, a private Catholic university stands by the religious policies of the Catholic church under which it was founded and refuses to provide any contraception that prevents the creation of life. Let the debate begin!

OK, let’s go ahead and get this out before the NYC-liberal-arts-student part of me literally explodes – SERIOUSLY! Are you freakin’ kidding me?! Georgetown, a major university, which does not require it’s students to follow Catholic doctrine, is still, in this day and age, refusing to hand out condoms!? Are you gonna provide daycare, Georgetown?

Ah, I feel better now.

But honestly, there are a lot of good reasons why Georgetown should step up and help with the sexual health of it’s students. To begin with, Georgetown is located in Washington D.C. where officials have declared a citywide HIV/AIDS epidemic. That means that, completely outside of the pregnancy prevention argument, Georgetown is refusing to help it’s students protect themselves from devastating, life-changing illness. And yes, students at GU could just go around the corner to the drugstore and buy their own condoms, but as many many schools have found out, it’s a lot harder to get students to do that (when you’re this close to getting it on in your dorm, that CVS might as well be China).

And this isn’t just a Georgetown issue, students at religious universities all over the country encounter these same things -  last year, a student at Stonehill College collected free condoms from family-planning clinics and distributed them at school. Stonehill’s administration found out and went around confiscating them from would-be sexy-timers.

And yet, though it goes against all of my personal sexual beliefs, I do have to defend Georgetown’s choices too. It is a private, religious school. They don’t make any qualms about their beliefs or that the school itself upholds those ideas – if people choose to go there anyway, then they have to accept that the school won’t violate it’s principles for them. The university, all private religious schools, and the students there who do follow those doctrines have a right to their beliefs and to force them to do otherwise would be wrong.  To fund and staff a school organization aimed at providing contraception would cost money, and by that virtue, take money away from it’s staff and students. While some of those students would benefit from that organization, there are also those who would not want to use them and isn’t it unfair then that their tuition money would be spent on something they can’t use – essentially wasting it for them? If students choose to have sex, shouldn’t they at least be adult enough to remember to make a drugstore run before the big date?

OK, so it’s thoughts and opinions time! Should religious universities like Georgetown buck up and get with the times? Should they at least be obligated to give their students options? Or should the students just accept that there are certain things that go along with the schools they’ve picked and make their own arrangements?

Let’s hear it!

Question for Tuffski?! Email her at TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com and perhaps get an answerino.

Dear Tuffy Luv,
My best friend got engaged on Valentine’s Day. I want to be excited for her big moment, but I can’t help but feel like she’s making a gigantic mistake. She’s only known him since November (he was a mutual friend of the guy she was sleeping with at the time) and has a long history of rushing into relationships with really sketchy guys. Every relationship she gets into, she seems to fall head-over-heels for the guy and turns a blind eye to all of his problems until after he breaks up with her, at which point she realizes what a jerk he was for cheating/abusing her/lying/etc.

Her fiance has never abused or cheated on her, but a couple of months ago they had a pregnancy scare and he threatened to kill himself. I don’t think either of them are mature enough to get married, and if they do, I think it will end in divorce. They plan to get married in Summer 2013 after she gets her bachelor’s degree, so there’s time for her to realize it won’t work on her own, but I don’t think she will. Should I raise the issue with her? I love her and just want her to be happy, but she’s so ecstatic about the engagement and the guy that I’m afraid speaking up could end our friendship.

–Friendo

Dear Friendo,

Wow, that IS fast.

Okay, well, all is not lost here, Friendo. Tuffy agrees with you–this sounds like a phenomenally bad idea. However, 2013 is a long way off. All signs point to maybe, possibly okay.

Here’s what you do. Take her out for dinner (you pay). Have a nice time, girls’ night kind of deal, whatever, and then say you need to talk about something serious. Tell her that you’re really, really happy for her and really excited about her wedding, but you love her and you just want to voice your concerns now before things get any farther along.

Don’t mention her horrible ex-boyfriends. Don’t tell her you think she’s too immature. Don’t mention the fiance threatening to kill himself.

Just tell her that you think it’s fast. Say that you want to make sure she really gets to know him in a meaningful way before she decides to spend the rest of her life with him. Tell her that you believe they love each other (even if you don’t), but that it really is just impossible to know someone well enough to make an informed decision about marriage after just a few months. Ask her not to break up with him or end the engagement, but just to try to get to know him much, much better before 2013 and to be open-minded and see him for who he is and not for who she wants him to be.

Of course, inevitably, she will think you’re jealous. But that’s a small price to pay if it gets her thinking about this decision.

Say all of this once and then never again. After you’ve said your piece, let her make her own decisions.

Good luck to your friend–may she not marry an asshoop.

Hearts & Skulls,
Tuffy Luv

Got a health question? Don’t trust those “Doctors” at the University Health Center? Are you scared of Web M.D. because it always tells you you’re gonna die? Ask a real doctor, like our friend Dr. Lissa Rankin. She’s here every Thursday to answer whatever you throw at her – even the aftermath of HPV– so ask away. Leave your question in the comments or send it over to us. Don’t be shy; she’s waiting for ya!

Q: Will taking Plan B multiple times affect the ability to get pregnant later down the road? My boyfriend and I are talking about having a baby sometime in the future but I have taken Plan B more than once in the past… Have my chances of becoming pregnant been reduced?

A: Don’t worry, sweetie. You’ll be just fine. Thank God for Plan B.  While multiple pregnancy terminations may have some fertility implications (mostly because of scar tissue on the cervix or in the uterus), Plan B does not abort a pregnancy in the same way something like mifepristone (RU-486) does.

Plan B consists simply of high doses of progesterone, a hormone your body naturally makes every time you ovulate.  Progesterone floats around your body regularly, and when you get pregnant, progesterone levels go WAY up. So it’s not like you’re taking some chemotherapy drug that might hurt your system.

So how does Plan B work? It works primarily by interfering with the body’s release of an egg from the ovary (ovulation). It can also prevent Mr. Sperm from finding Ms. Egg (fertilization). In the rare instance that Mr. Sperm does find Ms. Egg, Plan B can prevent the fertilized egg from attaching to the uterine wall (implantation). If the fertilized egg has already implanted in the uterus- resulting in a viable pregnancy- Plan B doesn’t work.

So take a deep breath. There’s no reason to believe you shouldn’t get pregnant. If you do have trouble conceiving, it’s likely unrelated to your midnight mistakes and morning after escapades.

Good luck baby-making!

XOXO,
Dr. Lissa

- Dr. Lissa Rankin’s book, What’s Up Down There? Questions You’d Only Ask Your Gynecologist If She Was Your Best Friend, will be published by St. Martin’s Press in Fall 2010. She invites you to join her Pink online community (www.owningpink.com/forum) or read more of her writing at Owning Pink (www.owningpink.com).

Throughout the years, MTV has thrown some bizarre ideas for reality shows our way.  Some catch the attention of the nation while others fall through the cracks.  While watching MTV (daily) I find myself screaming at the TV, “WHAT is the point of this show??”  Entertainment value, usually.  That is if you can call watching guys pick a date based on the underwear a girl has in her drawer, entertainment. (Thanks, Room Raiders).  However, what about the shows that may have actually been created for a real reason?

Let’s rewind.  Teen Mom.  Yes, like most people, I am obsessed.  I am still trying to figure out what Catelynn has that I don’t (besides braces, a trailer, and a 1995 JCPenny homecoming dress) that makes Tyler choose HER over me.  SO unfair.  But back to my point: as I watched the finale of Teen Mom last week and gear up for tonight’s reunion episode with Dr. Drew, I’m really starting to wonder what MTV was trying to do with this show.

Was it for entertainment value? Sure, listening to Gary recite a definition of the word “empathy” during the finale was extremely entertaining, but teen pregnancy is a huge issue; is MTV trying to take a stance? Are they trying to educate teens about the horrors of teen pregnancy? Maybe trying to prevent it? You would think by airing this show, MTV could position themselves as advocates to prevent teen pregnancy and use the show as an education tool, while also providing entertainment. 

And if that was the intent, I have a couple issues with how it was seen through.

Personally, I did not find the show realistic.  Throughout the season, Farrah was the only teen mom who did not have the baby’s father in the picture.  I’m not implying that the other moms are leading ideal lives with their outstanding boyfriends, but Catelynn, Amber, and Maci all got pregnant by their boyfriend at the time.  These were guys that they were having consensual sex with regularly.  Although Gary and Ryan may go down in history as two of the worst boyfriends ever, throughout the season they are shown trying to make their relationships “work” in the best interest of their new child.

Farrah, on the other hand, although not with the father of her child, lives at home with her mother and father.   It is evident that Farrah has grown up pretty fortunately and has an extremely comfortable living situation.  The “hardships” Farrah faces include not being able to party with her friends all the time, and not being able to find a boyfriend who is ready to date a girl with a kid.  Yes these things might be difficult for her, but in the scheme of teen pregnancy they are quite trivial.  Her parents are always there to help out, and support her both emotionally and financially. The same is true for the rest of the teen moms on the show.

If MTV was trying to educate about teen pregnancy and the perils of dealing with it, why not show girls who are even less fortunate?  What about the ones out there who are really on their own?  There are plenty of girls who come from uneducated, broken families, who get pregnant and have no escape, and no chance at a better life.  Some live their whole lives on welfare and in many cases do not know who the father is.  My feeling is that MTV chose these specific moms because the typical viewer could relate to them better than a girl whose life has really been ruined by teen pregnancy.  If this is the case, then why didn’t MTV even show how truly hard raising a child as a teenager is?  There is not one clip throughout the whole season of one of the moms staying up the whole night with a crying baby, or cleaning up vomit.  I don’t want to go as far as to say that MTV “glamorized” being a teen mom, but I don’t think the show will leave any viewers thinking “Oh my god, this CANNOT happen to me, I better take precaution.”

And speaking of precaution, MTV never hit on the topic of prevention.  I don’t remember any of the girls being interviewed as to why birth control was not used during sex. Was it a one time slip-up with no condom?  Too afraid to ask their parents? No resources? These questions never surfaced throughout the season.  And furthermore, I find it extremely unrealistic to not mention abortion on the topic of teen pregnancy.  The a-word was non-existent throughout the series, but in reality, it is an option.  Most people have strong opinions on the subject, being either completely against it or for it.  But just because it would have stirred up controversy, does that mean MTV should have ignored it completely? If they wanted to use their power to educate teens and lay all the options on the table, why wasn’t it even mentioned?

So besides making me fall in love with Tyler, what was MTV’s purpose in producing this show? Do you think they portrayed teen pregnancy realistically?  Share your thoughts, peeps!