It’s the subject of half the love songs out there: soul mates and the idea of a happily ever after that awaits those lucky enough to find the so-called Knight in Shining Armor.  Take Taylor Swift’s “Love Story” for example, the poster child for a happy ending:

And I said,
“Romeo save me – I’ve been feeling so alone.
I keep waiting for you but you never come.
Is this in my head? I don’t know what to think-”

He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring and said,
“Marry me, Juliet – you’ll never have to be alone.
I love you and that’s all I really know.
I talked to your dad – go pick out a white dress;
It’s a love story – baby just say ‘Yes.’”

Beautiful, right?  Makes your eyes mist up a bit?  Of course it does, it’s the quintessential love story.  Girl meets guy.  There is drama. Guy leaves. Girl waits for guy.  Guy comes back.  Cue the happily ever after.  Except…wait a second.  He left her, right?  And she waited around for him without any indication he was coming back?  Um, we might need to reconsider this.

Let’s look at some more examples.  Movies like The Notebook, A Walk to Remember, When Harry Met Sally, hell, even He’s Just Not That Into You, and many more all have the same theme of love overcoming huge obstacles.  But are these movies ruining us?  Should we be waiting around for our soul mate to show up and magically make our life into some romantic movie?  Where is our happily ever after??

Well…it’s here right now, if you want it.

You can have your happy ending any time you want and then go out and have another one (and another one and so on).  “Happily ever after” doesn’t have to mean years of pining alone, waiting for your knight to have his adventures and come back for you.  Um, what about your adventures?

I’m not saying throw romance out the window, not even close.  However, romance isn’t only to be found patiently loving your prince from afar, Disney-style.  Sometimes your prince needs to be hunted down.  And guess what?  This sweet world of ours has a lot of princes.  I even met a prince last weekend at a club (he doesn’t speak English fluently, but that’s okay, I don’t discriminate among princes).  The world of our generation is even bigger than Cinderella’s – we have planes, trains, automobiles, and the internet.  Places like plentyoffish.com and nerve.com are pretty much smorgasbords for guys in hypothetical crowns.

Just be warned: in real life, princes are effed-up.  They come from highly selective and traditionally inbred families and are often brought up to develop narcissistic tendencies (um, yikes).  So prince is a relative term and often misunderstood.  Just saying, maybe you should be looking for a nice dude who you can have a good time with rather than some crazy-ass royal.

You have a choice, my friends.  You can sit at home and have your Disney romance (you better have TiVo because you’re gonna have a lot of down time) or you can go out and seize your love life by the balls (literally, if you like).  In my opinion, it’s about time to get a handful of genitalia.

One week until buffalo wing/pizza/guacamole heaven. One week until the biggest sporting event of the year. One week until the big halftime show. Are you ready for some football?

If you’re like many of the ladies out there, you don’t know many of the facts about the upcoming “big game” and you may not even care, but what better way to impress those sports lovin’ hotties at the Super Bowl party? And isn’t everything more fun when you know what’s going on and have someone to root for?

So without further ado, here is a basic Super Bowl XLIII 101.

The Teams

The game pits the top team in the NFC (National Football Conference), the Arizona Cardinals, against the top team in the AFC (American Football Conference), the Pittsburgh Steelers

The Arizona Cardinals:

-This is the first time in team history that the Cardinals are going to the Super Bowl. With 61 years under their belt, they have held the second longest championship drought in American sports.

-The Cardinals made it into the wild card round of the playoffs with a 9-7 record and shocked footballs fans everywhere when they won all 3 of their playoff games, despite being underdogs in each game. They are only the second 9-7 team in history to make it to the Super Bowl.

-The Cardinals are lead by quarterback Kurt Warner, the third oldest QB to play in the game (he’s 37). While leading the St. Louis Rams, Warner won the NFL MVP award twice , Super Bowl MVP once, and has one Super Bowl ring. (Pretty impressive guy, ladies!)

-The Cardinals have an explosive offense with Warner’s strong passing ability and wide receiver Larry Fitzgerald, who has an amazing ability to catch seemingly uncatchable balls while running all over his opponents.

-The Cardinals are 6 ½ point underdogs in the Super Bowl.

The Pittsburgh Steelers:

-The Steelers had a regular season record of 12-4.

-The Steelers has the #1 ranked defense in the National Football League. (Vince Lombardi, famous coach whom the Super Bowl trophy is named after, said “Offense wins games, defense wins championships.” We’ll see if that’s true.)

-The Steelers will be going for their sixth Super Bowl title. If they win, they’ll hold the NFL record for most SB wins. Their last SB win was in 2006, against the Seattle Seahawks.

-The Steelers coach, Mike Tomlin, took over the team in 2007. He is the third youngest head coach in any of the four major North American sports, the tenth African-American head coach in NFL history and the first in Pittsburgh, the third African-American and youngest head coach to make it to the Super Bowl.

The Game

-The 43rd Super Bowl will air at 6:20 p.m. EST on NBC.

-The game will take place at Raymond James Stadium in Tampa, Florida. It is the second SB in this particular stadium, the fourth in the city of Tampa.

-The tagline for this year’s Super Bowl is “Believe In Now” (fitting, considering the Cardinals’ surprising appearance).

-The Super Bowl is famous for its halftime show which draws the biggest names in music (recent performers include U2, The Rolling Stones, Prince and Britney Spears) and has even caused scandal and controversy at the FCC (Nipplegate 2004 anyone?). This year Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band will be performing; it is his first SB half-time show performance.

-Jennifer Hudson will be singing the National Anthem before the game; it will be her first public appearance since the tragic murder of her nephew, brother and mother.

-The Super Bowl is almost as famous for its ads as it is for the game itself and this year will be no different. It’s the first year that a 30 second time slot cost $3 million. As of September 2008, NBC had sold all but 10 of it’s coveted advertising spots. Due to the economic crisis, some traditional SB advertisers, like General Motors and FedEx, will not be airing any ads this year.

A Few Fun Facts

-An average of 130 million people watch the Super Bowl.

-About 8 million pounds of guacamole and 14,500 tons of chips will be eaten on SB Sunday.

-Antacid sales increase by 20 percent on the Monday after the Super Bowl.

-Super Bowl Sunday is the top at-home party event of the year.

-SB Sunday is the second largest food consumption day, behind only Thanksgiving.

-A poultry farm and major supplier of wings (for buffalo wings, of course) in Texas recently went bankrupt, causing speculation that there will be a shortage of buffalo wings this year.

-The Vince Lombardi trophy, presented to the winning team, is created by Tiffany & Co, takes approximately four months and 72 man hours to create and is valued at $25,000.

-The winning team gets the coveted Super Bowl ring and a $78,000 bonus per player; the losing team gets $40,000 per man.

Now you’re ready for the Super Bowl.

Just don’t forget those Tums.

All you have to do is click on the goods and - boom - you can buy the entire ensemble. Yes, we know; there is a spot for her in heaven.]

So it’s almost NYE and you still have nothing to wear. Between the snowy weather and the malls being currrazy with holiday sales and returns, the last thing you want to do is spend countless hours in line to try on dresses for a night that is already overrated and, more likely than not, won’t even be remembered.

The thought of countless dirty dressing rooms just sends shivers down my spine. Instead, go for a look that you know will work. Like this one from our pal Gwyneth. Not only did she make it on our list of favorite Jews this Hanukkah, but this chic looks HOT in this outfit.

So now, thanks to me and Gwynnie, you can look smokin’ on NYE and spend the weekend at home with your cup of joe reading this, instead of behind a mom and daughter fighting in the long line at Forever 21.

So sit back and relax, because here is this week’s Celebrity Chic on the Cheap: Tonight We’re Going to Party like it’s 1999…er…2009

Black Sequin Dress

There are tons of options out there, but here is a cute, basic, and cheap option from Forever 21. The scoop neck is super flattering (and sexy), and the shine makes it a perfect party dress.

Black Tuxedo Blazer

Looks better over a nice dress than a cardigan, and gives it that cute boyish touch. Also makes the cold winter air a little more bearable. Yes, just a little.

Cocktail ring

We’ve shown this ring before, but that is because it’s cute and versatile. And the black bling will look awesome with an all black ensemble.

Patent pumps

High enough to accentuate those legs of yours, and shiny enough to make for easy clean up after a little one tequila, two tequila, three tequila, FLOOR.

You can throw on some tights if you so desire, but Gwyneth’s leggy look is hot. And I highly recomend it.

Prince

Perfect gloss for the winter…every girl needs it!

Lookin’ for a new drink? Try one of these!

Be fashionable and eco-friendly!

Fishnet wallpaper? What?!

Travis Barker’s first interview since the crasy on the final TRL…so sad =(

Three days left to win a free phone!

I pray to look this good when I’m that old…

Lisa “Left Eye” Lopes tribute…oh how we miss her.

Amy Winehouse makes moves on a 16-year-old…creep.

What were you doing in 2001?I was a freshman with bangs, light wash denim and an aversion to beer (I preferred Smirnoff Ice). I had a desk top that was connected to the Ethernet by a long cord that went from under my desk, around the perimeter of my room, up the wall and into a jack under my roommate’s bed.

And I had no freaking clue what Google was.

A lot has changed since 2001 in my life (I got wireless and some dark wash jeans), and in the world. It is hard to realize how different everything is unless you have the ability to go back and look. And thanks to the boys at Google, you can. Those guys saved the entire Google index from ’01, which means you can travel back in time and Google like it’s 2001.

Isn’t that a Prince song?

Anyways, if you have a break between classes….or are completely bored during class, try Googling your name. Or the World Trade Center. Or Britney Spears.

It is sorta freaking me out.

Alright, I’m not gonna be the dude who writes about Jake G. on the website for women and hates on him. I think Gyllenhaal is a great actor. He throws down pretty hard regardless of part, whether it’s a marine or a gay cowboy or a teen who keeps seeing a rabbit.

I also won’t be the guy who says ‘yeah he looks good, but I mean, I’ve seen better.’ As a heterosexual man, I feel fine saying Jake looks godd*mn HUGE in these new pictures. Respect for putting on that weight and not being afraid to lose all that ‘sweet little boy look’ money.

But, I gotta say something.

This movie is called Prince of Persia.

OF.

PERSIA.

Attention, Hollywood. Ethnicity is not a tan. Even in the game, designed by a western production house, the Prince has a Eurasian vibe going. This isn’t Gyllenhaal’s fault of course, just the casting director’s. Though I can’t help but think that someone as successful as him, who isn’t necessarily desperate for greenbacks or notoriety, could’ve maybe at least considered that this might be a mistake.

Agent: Jake, new project. Prince of Persia. BOOYA.

Jake: That is cool. I like those games but…

Agent: But what? Video game money is baller!

Jake: Ya but I’m not Persian. I’m not of any middle eastern ancestry at all.

(Quick look in mirror)

Jake: Actually, looking at myself now, I think I may have the whitest, least ethnic face in all of Hollywood. That’s probably why I made such believable ‘everyteens’ and ‘everymarines.’ Isn’t there someone else who could do this?

Agent: But Jake, it’s about an Arab prince who controls time with a sword. You are this part.

Whatever. Video game movies with big stars are probably the next thing to dominate Hollywood after the year comic books just had at the box office, so it’s to be expected that we’d get a few mis-casts. But hey, maybe he’ll pull it off.

Apply some more bronzer, I guess.

Tatum O’Neal pulls both the “Don’t you know who I am?” AND “I’m just researching a role” card

The Jezebels Liveblog the rather underwhelming MTV Movie Awards

Away Message Breakup

Any internet hackers out there want to grant my biggest wish and take this site down?

National Masturbation Month may have ended, but when has that ever stopped you before?

Radiohead may be right, but Prince is crazy. Plus he’s Prince. …Just give up now, RH.

All M. Night Shyamalan wants is for Hollywood to F*ck off. I just want M. Night to make a movie that doesn’t suck.

Read Nabokov on your lunch hour. Impress everyone

Shaken, not stirred.

Cameron and Diddy? Whatever.

That bitch wore my famous Nini Ricci expensive dress! I hope she dies.

I’m calling Thing 2 for the win since he flew her ass out to France for this.

T2, Sinceer and Black are the last three standing either in France or in Fort Lauderdale, I still haven’t figured this out. Someone’s going home in the morning, which means that we’re probably in for a sloppy, whiny night. I guess Black and T2 are going to gang up to get Sinceer and her forehead out.

And I was totally wrong – there was no sloppy ‘please don’t eliminate me’ hook up. Flav sits with them as they eat breakfast and pretends to be saddened by the decision that he was to make. He has three tickets in his hands – one to Paris, one to Monaco and one to LA.

T2 and her ginormous gold hoops are going to Paris.

Black hopes that Flav sees her for who she is – if who you are is that pair of massive breasts, then you’re set.

Flav makes Sinceer and Black give him reasons why they should go to Monaco with him and I refuse to listen to this. Apparently Flav doesn’t want to hear it either since it’s a lot of screaming and no words.

He tells Sinceer that he has a great connection with her but that romantically he’s more connected to Black. Frigging finally – I’m glad that Sinceer and her forehead are going to LA.

Monaco is the first stop and I am shocked the VH1 sprung the change for this helicopter ride to Monaco, an Excalibur to get them to their hotel. It’s a fabulous city – far too fab for Flav. Who passes out during the ride.

Black and Flav are staying at the Royal Riviera and there is only time for them to have dinner together, where Flav gives Black a watch with a pink strap and a heart shaped face surrounded by diamonds. I hate it; I’m sure that T2 will love it as much as Black loves it. He then presents her with a list of questions, one of which is, “Can you make me laugh?”

Yeah, probably not. Black, I’ve got a nun joke that I’ll sell to you right now. Not that it matters if she can even speak, he thinks that she’s way, way hot.

He then asks her, “What would our lives be like together?” Oh, please, Flav. “I will treat your child like he’s my own.”

You are neva gonna meet her son. This is all followed by a night cap of yuck. FYI, Flav and VH1, rose petals on a bed are not romantical because they STICK to you.

Next day, T2 and Flav go to Paris together and Flav makes Americans look demure and classy by sticking his head out of the limo moon roof and screaming his name. At least I believe that they are in France with this episode. You can’t get more Parisian than the Louvre and Eifel Tower.

When they get to the hotel, the doorman confuses Flav with Prince. WTF, how could anyone in any country do that?

At dinner, I am utterly shocked that Flav gives T2 the same watch that he gave to Black.

Flav’s got the same list of questions for T2 but at least she can try to tell a really bad joke.

He asks her for a nightcap and the girl said NO. She’s the only one to do it out of all of the FOL seasons. Good for you, T2.

And is it time for ELIMINATIONS!  At long last.

Flav’s doing this last one up “big” because there won’t be a season fo’.

Who will he choose? Big heart or big boobs?

No shock to me – T2 is the winner.

In sum: this was the most boring season ever. And my boredom was due primarily to the fact that this was tired and forced. As I’ve said, no one was there for Flav; Flav was not even there for love.

I felt like in the first season there was some level of need on Flav’s part – like he actually looked sad during the season one reunion that it didn’t work out with Hoopz. Maybe he got wise to it all and tried to make the most (money out) of it.

But of course the REUNION is still to come and Flav proposes. Stay tuned for the very last episode.

Maybe, you’ve just got a giant heart and enjoy Valentine’s Day even though you’re single.

Maybe you’re one of those permanent happy people who confuse me.

In any case, this holiday does not fill you with dread. It does not fill you with sadness or the constant need to subdue your emotions with sugar.

It’s a nice day. A pretty day. A teddy bear holding a chocolate heart kind of day (…too much?).

It’s the day for this type of mix.

My Funny Valentine – Chet Baker

I Want it That Way – The Backstreet Boys

How Do I Know? – Whitney Houston

I Would Die 4 U – Prince

Roxanne – The Police

Everything I Do – Bryan Adams*

Gotta Have You – The Weepies

Diamonds on the Inside – Ben Harper

A Case of You – Joni Mitchell

Ready – Cat Stevens

Unchained Melody – Elvis

Afternoon Delight – Starland Vocal Band

Faithfully – Journey

Your Song – Elton John

All I Want is You – U2

The Luckiest – Ben Folds Five

Fields of Gold — Sting

(*FYI: this is my favorite song to scream to myself in a car on rainy night. I mean, I’m not embarassed. It’s pure cheesy magic.)

Got any other suggestions to set this Valentine’s Day on fire? Help us add to the mixtape!!

Once upon a time, long after the feminist revolution dawned and yet before we could spell the word–let alone understand it–we were little girls. We knew we were equals to boys and no one was going to tell us we weren’t going to play kickball at recess with the toughest of them.

But if little Johnny knocked me over and didn’t stop to smile and help me up, well, then I told all of my friends he was a jerk. And this idea of “I’m as good as you so treat me like a princess” found itself a little home in our confused minds and it took over…without an invitation.

As we awkwardly tiptoed into the land of dating, this entire concept, fraudulent as it seems, was still very real. I’ve always been independent, strong, confident, smart (maybe a little full of myself, too), and was taught to believe that no guy could outdo me in ANYthing. So why did my mom tell me to let Eric pay for dinner on my first date? Why did my friends think it was “sweet” that he opened doors for me? How can we truly be equals if chivalry is still a card in this game?

Accepting the traditional nods from men that corner us into the position of being a “lady” directly contradicts so many other expectations that we have for men outside of dating.

And to tell you the truth, I feel sorry for guys these days. Many of my male friends complain to me that they have no idea what a girl wants.

“On one hand, she feels cheap and sexualized when you buy her a drink and on the other, she is insulted if you don’t at least offer.“

Chivalry is dying and we are killing it with our back and forth ideas of what a MAN today should be.

If we are all we crack ourselves up to be–independent, strong, confident, smart, AND capable of getting the same jobs as our male counterparts, then why on earth would we cling to these now foreign concepts of chivalry? It made sense for men to pay the way for their lady friends when ladies didn’t work, but things have changed.

So what’s our excuse?

Is it, in fact, fair for us to keep these romanticized notions as a standard for the men we meet?

Well, yes, you know what? It is.

I want to be his equal and I want to be his princess. But the only way this works is… if he’s my prince.

Men today cannot win me over with their roses nor their fortune. If a man wants to treat me like his damsel in distress, he will not get very far. I do not want to need him. (Nor do I need to). I simply need to want him. However, if we can both give and if we can both take and if we can both share, then f*ck it, lets ride off into the sunset together.