Facebook can turn even the most confident girl into a crazy stalker. Whether it’s clicking rapidly through photo albums and tagged pictures or checking out every. single. girl. who posts on your random hook-up’s wall, we’ve all been there. And that’s OK. It’s not like we’re sitting in a windowless van outside someone’s house for hours, watching their every move. No, we’re just reading what they wanted us to read. No privacy settings, no problem!

But while creepin’ on The Book is totes acceptable, there are some things that just aren’t. So if you’re so-bored-you-want-to-die at your summer job, or even if you’re just obsessed with finding out which of your long lost high school peers has gotten knocked up – if you want to keep your creeping under wraps, remember these few things when you go on a stalking expedition.

Do learn to close all of your tabs when you leave your laptop (or worse, the computer lab)! Actually… stick to Facebook stalking in private. If the evidence isn’t there, it never happened, right?

Do not creep from your cell phone! It’s much easier to accidentally click on something you didn’t mean to (i.e. “liking” your ex-boyfriend’s picture of him and his new lady friend) when using a touch screen. Trust me.

Do realize you need to draw the line somewhere. Checking to see that your ex downgraded with his new girl? Fine. But her friends, her ex-boyfriends, and her sorority sisters? Definitely a don’t.

Stick to sober stalking. Don’t log in after a few Vlad cocktails or when you return home from happy hour. Embarrassing spelling and grammar mistakes aside, no good comments could possibly happen after 2 AM.

Knowing that someone was a busboy for three years… Don’t go around mentioning that – or anything that can only be gleaned from a late night stalk sesh – in casual conversation. Holy awkward, Batman. Accidentally slip? DENY. DENY. DENY. And when all else fails, just blame it on your Newsfeed. That “creepfeed” shows everything these days.

Never, ever, EVER post comments and “like” a post of a person you’re stalking. Especially if that was a status update from 2007. I know what you’re thinking: “Who does that?!” But people do…and it’s creepy. The key here is to continue creeping without being noticed. Get it?

And if you notice that you got a little too carried away, DO step back from your Macbook and take a few deep breaths. Or start growing some sh*t on Farmville. Wait, on second thought, that is a definite don’t.

My truly disgusting love/hate relationship with Facebook is turning more into hate than love after the social networking site changed its privacy settings yet again when thousands of users complained about how their privacy was non-existent. Not surprisingly, these settings require users to make changes manually, meaning those who don’t could have their bizness all over the web without them knowing.

If you don’t want scandalous pictures of yourself surfing on the net via Facebook or just want to maintain your mysterious whiff of privacy for that sexy man friend to friend request you, I’ve broken down the basics of the new privacy settings (that have yet to be implemented) for the better of social networking humanity. Take a gander and pay it forward to all your FB friends by passing this handy guide along, yo. Your friends will thank you.

The What:

1) Less buttons! Easier control over privacy!
Instead of the million detailed privacy descriptions that were impossible to navigate and far too time consuming to actually implement, Facebook narrowed it all down to just five main important categories. That means only 5 clicks to keep those kegstand photos out of your future boss’s hands.

2) Interests/Friends no longer publicly displayed
Remember when the pseudo-new privacy settings were enacted, everyone (including creepy stalkers) could see your “favorite quotes,” “about me,” “likes and interests,” and even who you were friends with? That bio information is still there, but now you can control whether you share that delicate information with just your “Friends,” “Friends of Friends,” or “Everyone.”

3) No more sharing random information via Third-Party applications
This one is probably one of my favorite changes. I was freaked out when I signed into my Pandora account and it suggested me to listen to several artists that I never once mentioned on the site. Turns out, it just got all my information from my Facebook. Geez, if Pandora can get to know me that up close and personal without my knowledge, who else is out there creepin’ on me? No one anymore. Now you can choose whether you want to share that information with sites like Pandora and CNN.com. The right to choose, gotta love it.

The How:
Now that you know what the changes are (because Mr. Zuckerberg likes to be so sneaky with this sort of stuff), here’s exactly how you’re going to protect your privacy.

1. Once you’re logged into Facebook, click on the Account tab and choose Privacy Settings.

2. Before you change anything, familiarize yourself with the new changes. There are three different categories for sharing: Everyone, Friends of Friends and Friends Only.

3. Facebook has created the settings so that mostly everything will be shared under “Everyone” automatically. (This brings them more cash money from their advertisors.) It is up to you to go in an MANUALLY make the change. In order to prevent over sharing via web, make sure most of your settings are changed to “Friends only.” Obviously, it’s up to you what you share and who you share it with, but I highly recommend making pics, vids, and personal contact info as private as possible. With Facebook, you really never know how far that information can spread and once it’s out there, you’ll never get it back.

Remember: the new settings haven’t gone into affect yet, so look out for the change. In the meantime, share this guide on Facebook so everyone knows what’s up.

Snooze-fest.

Do you remember the good ol’ days freshman year? Sitting nervously in front of your laptop on a Sunday morning, awaiting the moment your friends would post the infamous pictures from the weekend? Then, it happens. At around noon, after a long breakfast spent reminiscing in the cafeteria Facebook explodes with album after album of weekend adventures. You spend hours laughing at your screen with your roommates: Who is that rando taking shots with us? You did a keg stand this weekend? Oh, so that’s where we got the blow-up doll!

Back in the day, Sunday mornings (or the entire day…) were dedicated to reflecting on the moments captured from the night before via Facebook. I know I used to love those days, when you found out you weren’t the only one running around campus having a good time….er….looking like a hot mess.

But fast forward three years when everyone and their your mother is watching what you decide to post on Facebook. You can’t just post everything you want anymore with reckless abandon; you’ve got your future to think about, and the judgment of your entire extended family (who are all now your FB friends), and the fact that Facebook is changing their privacy settings so often, you have no idea who can see your latest drunken exploits. So you start thinking before you post, de-tagging unflattering (from a professional perspective) photos, and deleting anything remotely inappropriate (“Let’s get crunk tonight!”)  from your Wall.

And everyone else is doing the same. A recent study at the University of California Berkeley found that young adults are becoming way more private than they were five years ago. A once tell-all generation is becoming more and more weary about what they’re posting, unsure of how publishing their personal lives in a public space will affect them and their futures. Which explains all of those recently hidden tagged pictures, absent funny drunken wall-posts, and lack o’ profile pictures of dudes wearing mesh green thongs…

Basically, all the good stuff. The reason I have a Facebook profile in the first place.
The stuff that I look forward to when I turn on my computer every Sunday morning.

While I understand it is way smarter to be a little hush-hush about your extracurricular drinking activities in public to land that perfect job and protect yourself from severe embarrassment, I’m a little disappointed.  Everyone’s new-found (super incognito) Facebook life is just not so great for the rest of us, bored in class with nothing to preoccupy us! I want the entertainment value! I want looking at new photo albums to be fun again! I want to point and laugh and snort!

Yes, we’re all going to grow up someday, but tell me – can’t grown ups still go to theme parties and post pictures for everyone to enjoy?

It was just another daily Facebook-check when a message from Mark Zuckerberg appeared on the top of my newsfeed. Blah, blah, blah. Shut up, shut up, shut up. We know there are millions of users on Facebook – my mother is on it for God’s sake – no need to write us a message about it, Mark! (Yeah, we’re on first name basis.)

Bored, I closed the letter and contined on to my daily Facebook routine (you know you have one, too):
Check notifications
Check boyfriend’s page
Check cute guy in class’s page
Check for new photo albums of friends…

And then I typed in my ex-boyfriend’s name. We’re not friends on Facebook anymore (so dramatic), but I just have to check if he’s changed his picture!  Don’t judge – you know you do it.

And that’s when I saw it. All of it. I had access to his whole entire Facebook page! And when I clicked his new girlfriend’s name – just to see if her Facebook picture had changed or to see if we had any more friends in common than we had the day before – I had complete access to her profile, too! I was able to learn all about her, see all 111 of her photo albums (Note: I’ve limited myself to only view the ones since their relationship started. No need to see her receiving her high school diploma…) and glean the fact that she is a fan of Chelsea Handler. (Ugh. Why does this girl have to be cool?)

It was like I died and went to Facebook heaven. I just wanted to reach into my computer and lay a big, wet one on Mark Zuckerberg’s face.

How did this suddenly happen? And isn’t this the exact opposite of what “Privacy Settings” are supposed to do?

Well, it turns out Mark’s letter was explaining some changes, which most users don’t know about. Namely, that they actually need to do something to maintain the privacy settings they originally set up. And since they aren’t making those changes, I (and others like me who could basically graduate with a BA in Face-stalking) are now able to access all the juicy profiles we were once locked out of.

But don’t get so excited just yet. While this is great for hunting down that skank who stole your man, it also means that your profile is open for the perusing. Even more, these new changes now share your status updates and links with everyone on the Web. And your information is also being shared with other sites, such as DIGG.

That means that you gotta hop on over to FB right now and change those privacy settings. And while you’re at it, you should probably be a little more aware of what you say on the ol’ FB because you never know who’s reading it now. An emotional quote about your latest break up may make you feel better, but it’s going to annoy your friends not going to impress your future boss.

You may like these new settings (I know I do…). You may hate them. Regardless how you feel, Mark did try and warn us. Too bad most of us weren’t willing to give up valuable stalking time to hear him out.

[It doesn’t matter what school you go to, what state it is in, how big it is, whether it is public or private, all girls or coed…there are experiences that all college students share.

No matter how crazy you think your personal situation is, it is not just you. So, let’s bring it all out in the open. Right here. Because you are not alone - we’ve all been there before.]

Your friend from class invites you to a party. Looking for a change of social scenery (there are only so many days in a row that you can play Kings with the same 6 people), you go. It’s a whole new social circle and you are excited to see what else your campus has to offer.

While waiting in line for the keg, you start chatting it up with a rather handsome man (in a pair of hot jeans…yes, you looked). Turns out, he’s also funny, charming, and has this cute little dimple in his left cheek when he smiles. You spend a good chunk of the night talking, but then the keg runs out and your friend drags you out of the house in search of greener (or boozier) pastures.

So now you have left the party….without his number.

The night progresses in a blur of flip cup, party hopping, and a hazy memory of peeing in a sink. When you wake up, you feel like crap – and also have an empty Tupperware that once housed you roommate’s mom’s homemade cookies next to your bed. You lay in bed attempting to put the pieces of the night together when – BAM – the Keg Cutie comes flooding into your mind.

You have to figure out who he is. You slowly crawl out of bed, realize you are naked and put on some sweats, then settle in in front of your laptop. First stop: trusty ole’ FB, of course.

You look up your class friend and then scroll through all 787 of her friends until you find Keg Cutie’s tiny thumbnail pic. Lucky for you, he hasn’t hopped on the “total FB privacy” bandwagon yet and you have full access to his profile. You tell yourself you are just trying to get a last name so you can send a cute and witty email, but before you know it you are memorizing his favorite movies, class schedule and causes.

“I wonder if he’s as cute as I remember,” you think. “I’ll just look at a few pics.”

Thirty minutes and 453 pictures later, you are looking at the profile and albums of that hussy who was in at least 70 of his pics with him.   You convince yourself she is an ex (“the albums she was in were added in 2007, so they can’t still be together!”) and feel a little better.

You realize that you and Keg Cutie have a few other friends in common and work your way through FB to figure out the connections. Not that you want to show up wherever he may be…. No, you are just curious.

When you’ve exhausted all Facebook resources, you stop caring about how stalkerish you’ve become and look the boy up on your University’s database (to see where he’s living, perhaps?) and Google (to check out his past).

By 3pm, you know more about Keg Cutie than you know about your own family members. Like the fact that he lives in the dorm next to you. You decide maybe it’s time to start dining in a different cafeteria… and putting on makeup to do so. Maybe you’ll check out their study lounges too. And you’re sure you have a few friends in there you can start hanging out with again…

I mean, that’s not weird, is it?

Well, yes, it is. But we’ve all been there and it’s not our fault; Facebook makes it too easy!

[Life isn’t black and white. As much as we wish we simply loved or hated things, there is often that whole annoying gray area in the middle. Like, we hate how Walmart treats its employees…but we love the low prices! Or, we love how that boy makes us laugh….but we hate that he has no motivation in life. Damn you, gray area; you make decision-making that much more complicated!

There are so many difficult choices in life (do we love or hate high heels??), so we thought we’d sort through ‘em right here. Every week we will discuss another issue we are torn up about. Let us know your thoughts in the comments section!]

Ohh FB. I really do hate how much I love you.

Love: Clearly, Facebook serves its purpose as a social networking site. It’s great for ‘friending’ (and poking!) that cute guy you see around campus but don’t actually know, checking up on your friends from high school and leaving them funny video posts on their walls, and helping you to remember your lab partner’s birthday. Facebook makes it extremely easy to communicate with people without actually talking to anyone or putting in any real effort.

I also love Facebook’s “Events” section. Where else can find out about and get directions to parties AND know the guest list beforehand so you can determine whether or not you want to go? It’s pretty amazing. Best of all, however, has to be the new Facebook phonebook. With one click, you can see the numbers of all of your friends (who have added them!) and, if you have Facebook Mobile, even add them to your address book or call them from your cell. It’s genius. And it makes the whole awkward “can I have your number?” conversation obsolete!

Loathe: No matter how hard I try, a five minute “study break” on Facebook always turns out to be more of a two hour stalk-fest. It’s horrible. I start looking at pictures, reading notes, and laughing at status updates and, before I know it, 45 minutes have elapsed and none of my biology lab report has been written.

As we all know, Facebook makes you a creeper. Do you really NEED to be looking at pictures of your boyfriend’s ex girlfriend and getting jealous? Or what about that skank in your calculus class? Apparently yes, because I can’t seem to stop. And it’s not healthy. I mean, how creepy is it that you know a the interests, activities, and favorite quotations of some hot guy that you’ve never talked to? …Awkward.

On top of that, good old FBook can get pretty annoying with their constant notifications for EVERYTHING. Application invite? Want to join my group? Be a part of my cause?! Probably not, but I know that I’m going to be emailed about it. A bajillion times.

The worst thing (yes, even worse than all those stupid applications) though, is that everyone has a Facebook profile now. No longer reserved specifically for college students, now your boss, dentist, middle school choir teacher, and, scariest of all, even your parents can view your profile and the pictures you took at last weekend’s parties. Time to up those privacy settings!

In the end, though, no matter how creepy or unproductive my excessive Facebook use makes me, I know that I’ll never be able to pull myself away from it. I’m that addicted. And let’s be honest, despite it’s major issues, Facebook rocks. And I’m a junkie.

I don’t mean updating your status every 3 hours instead of every 30 minutes (addict), or finally getting even with your sister by posting up those New Year’s Eve pics of her passed out in her own puke (ew); I mean using Facebook for different purposes. So here we go.

Facebook resolution 1: De-Clutter your friend List.

Remember when you first joined facebook and you added everyone and anyone who added you just so that you could gloat to your friend that you had five more friends than her? Well, when the games stopped, what happened to all those random people that you added? Do you still talk to them? Have you ever talked to them? While having 200 friends verses 25 is cooler, if you don’t talk to half those people, it’s time to delete them. Do you really want that rando who friended you to know what you are doing at all times? Who knows what he’s doin’ with those pics you put up last week?!

Facebook resolution 2: Learn to use the privacy settings!

Because you really don’t want to have to deal with your conservative aunt who suddenly calls you asking “Since when where you an alcoholic and hookah smoker?” (Um, since 9th grade?) Even if your aunt/mom/dad doesn’t have a Facebook account, chances are they know someone’s daughter’s- friend’s- niece’s- cousin’s (you get the point) who has a huge mouth and grudge against you. So customize your photo albums so that only the people who you get drunk with (and a few others) see those specific pics.

Facebook resolution 3: Network.

You know, Facebook is useful for more than just stalking your boyfriends ex. It is the perfect place to reach out to the people you would never get in contact with otherwise. You may not think that the editor of that magazine you want to work for someday has a Facebook page, or that, even if they do, that they bother to check it, but some do. Add them as friends, and maybe write on their wall about how you would love to have an opportunity to work at their company. Don’t expect them to reply the same day; these are busy people. And they may not reply at all, but you never know. They may just end up sending you a message with instructions on how to apply. In the end, you have nothing to lose, so network, network, network!

Facebook resolution 4: Join a Cause or write a petition!

With the state of the world that we live in there are so many causes to get involved in. And FB is a great place to make them public. Between the Newsfeed and Status Updates, you could give your cause a ton of exposure and get more people involved.

Facebook resolution 5: Get over the new facebook already!

Yes, the new Facebook was a change and some of us resented it and complained, threatened Mark Zuckerberg, and joined those “If You hate the new FB, join this group” groups. Bottom line is: it’s not going back to the old Facebook. So let’s deal with it once and for all and move on! At least until they change it again.

Yesterday we published this story about some high-profile individuals who lost their jobs because of some unruly Facebook activity. If you’re thinking to yourself, “uh-oh, I love partying and taking pictures to post on Facebook, but I kind of want to have a job one day,” relax. You can have your cake and eat it, too.  Just make sure you’re utilizing all the appropriate privacy settings.  There are several steps to take to ensure your safety online, so just follow these tips!

1. Make all of your photos “Friends Only”

Tempting as it may be to leave photos up, it’s much safer to make them “Friends Only.” That way you know for certain who has access to your pictures. To do this, go here and under the option “Photos tagged of you,” click the drop-down menu and select “Only Friends.”

You should also do the same for Videos of You and all of your own photo albums (just click “Edit Photo Albums Privacy Settings” next to the”Photos Tagged of You” option). Even if you don’t tag your own photos, they’re still visible to anyone who has access to your profile.  By making your photos “Friends Only,” you don’t run the risk of having potential employers stumbling upon that glorious shot of you flipping the bird while sucking down a 40. Which brings me to the next point…

2. Make your profile private (or at least disable some applications).

Everyone’s a Facebook stalker, no matter if they’re a potential employer or a potential boyfriend. So while it may seem appealing to allow Mr. Hot Stuff to view your profile and read from your wall posts that you had such a great time at the bars last weekend, you can’t trust that a future boss will have the same enthused reaction. And most Facebook users  have their profiles set so that other people in their networks can see them. So if you belong to a regional network (especially in big cities like New York, LA, DC, and Boston), remember that anyone can join and belong to them, too.  So to control what information people see when they search you, go here and under the options “Profile” and “Wall Posts” click the drop-down menu and select “Only Friends.” You should consider doing the same for your Basic Info, Personal Info, and Status Updates as well (particularly if you list under “Interests” all of your favorite rums…). Even if you have a tame profile for the most part, you never know when a friend might post a questionable comment or YouTube video on your wall. Better to be safe than sorry.

 3. Choose your default wisely!

All of these new privacy settings would mean nothing if the Big Kahuna, your default Facebook photo, isn’t family-friendly. Save the sexy memories of Halloween (yes you looked cute as a hot nurse)  for your newly-protected other photos, and choose a default that is flattering but not reputation-damaging. If the default-in-question features ANYONE (even if it’s not you) drinking, inappropriately dressed, making obscene gestures and/or alluding to racist/sexist materia, ditch it! Furthermore, make sure to go into your Profile Picture album and delete any questionable defaults from the past. If your settings enable anyone on Facebook to view your default when they search for you, it’s possible they can view any of your past default photos (since Facebook automatically saves them into that album).

 4. Remove personal information that can potentially enable identity theft.

Being wary of potential employers isn’t the only reason to keep your profile clean. Identity theft is a real and scary part of the world these days–and most of the information used by theives can be found on a typical Facebook profile! Never publish the year you were born (the month and day is okay, but not foolproof), your address, and your phone number all at once. This information makes it much easier for scammers to open credit cards in your name, or at least track you down and possibly go through your trash (ALWAYS cut up or shred discarded mail).

 5. Don’t make your Facebook searchable on Google!Nowadays, it’s possible for your Facebook to be viewed even by people who do not have Facebook. Don’t believe me? Type your name as it appears on Facebook into Google and see if your profile shows up. If it does (and even if it doesn’t) follow this link to disable Facebook from making your profile searchable on the internet (unclick the “Create a public search listing” box). Not only can potential employers find you this way, but so can mom and dad, nana and papa, and…yeah, the whole free world.

Additionally, if you visit the Facebook Help Page, you can learn everything you ever wanted to know about anything on Facebook. I’ve been a Facebook user for years now and this site taught me quite a few things…particularly on the functions of Pokes.