I’m the president of the Anti-PDA club.

You wanna express your love with your man? Fine, but keep it in the bedroom. No one needs to see you shoving your tongue down his throat (or your hand down his pants) when they’re going about their daily business.

And you know what else we don’t want to see? You shoving your hand down your own pants to adjust those boy shorts that keep creeping up your crack. Seriously, people, there are some things that should be left in the privacy of your own room/car/bathroom. Let’s make a deal, shall we? You keep the following disgusting habits to yourself and I get to keep my lunch down.

Deal?
Deal.

Loogies
Ew, ew and more ew.   As if the sound hawking up some phlegm isn’t bad enough, having to actually witness that slop drip from someone’s mouth is just plain disgusting.

Nail clipping
Sadly way too common, people think it’s okay to just clip their nails (and toenails!) in the office, the train, the bus, in class, etc.  But no, no, no. That is not, in any way, okay. Seriously, no one needs to see your clippings shoot across the room and they definitely don’t want to have to sit down on the remains. And, PS, filing those talons isn’t OK either. The sound of a file against nails? Shudder.

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Who doesn’t love a good train wreck like Lindsay Lohan or Britney Spears? For us “ordinary folk” (those of us who wear Old Navy, drink PBR and dream of tetris being an Olympic sport) there’s nothing like a healthy dose of tabloid exploitation on those who live in (what at least appears to be) an alternate universe… where dogs wear juicy couture, cars come equipped with mini-bars, breasts double as flotation devices and pocket lint is laced with cocaine.

Is it true though? Or are the tabloids just running exaggerated fantasies to harpoon mass appeal? It’s hard to know because these grandiose lifestyles are perpetuated by the attention drawn to them (unless the celebrity is actually talented). Case in point — the Kardashian sex tape.

Bad publicity is good publicity, I suppose… especially for the venues that become associated with celebrity attendance (who doesn’t want to go to places where you might see a rockstar in a bar fight or catch Paris Hilton stripping down to… well… a slightly more naked version of her usual self?).

When talking about club publicity, nothing turns up the temp on a particular venue more than the drug habits of the celebrities. The scandalous behaviors of one Miss Britney Spears has made headlines for a variety of clubs in New York including an all time personal favorite, Marquee. Yes, she has been caught using drugs in the public bathrooms all around town and she’s not the only one. The question then becomes, of course, how many drugs are being done in these places? Certainly you run a high risk (pun intended) of being caught abusing drugs if you are a celebrity, but what about us ordinary folk? Are drugs swimming through the clubs as the tabloids would have us believe? Read More »

I’m a progressive girl. I’m all about equality.

But give me my own bathroom.

Co-ed bathrooms are one of college’s biggest mysteries. Who thought it would be a good idea? Who decided that it would be totally cool to completely devoid college kids of any type of privacy? Did none of the inventors of co-ed bathrooms ever have a crush?

And if they did, how could they fathom perhaps bumping into that crash while they still had pimple stuff on their face and crow’s nest on top of their head?

I just don’t understand it. The bathroom is sacred. Private. It’s not a place I want to discuss homework or chat about the newest TV show.

I don’t want to step out of the shower and come face to face with the captain of the lacrosse team. I don’t need that sort of horrible awkwardness in my life.

Also, in case no one’s noticed, guys and girls take very different approaches bathroom etiquette. Guys often think nothing of taking the entire sports section into the stall with them and staying in there for hours, while girls prefer to get in and get out without anyone really seeing. Read More »