Anybody else out there already having to read volumes upon volumes for their classes? WTF? It’s only the second week back, professors! Can’t a girl catch a little post-break break?

Le sigh.

Good thing there’s music to save the day. I figured I’d help everyone out there get back into the swing of things and offer up an album that’s great to do homework to when you want some background noise but the How I Met Your Mother marathons are too distracting. It also just so happens to be one of the Oscar nominees for best original score: The Social Network Soundrack.

About the Artist:
Trent Reznor of Nine Inch Nails fame teamed up with Atticus Ross to score the film The Social Network. Reznor originally turned down the gig, but eventually came around. Smart move, buddy. Reznor is from Pennsylvania and dropped out of college after a year to pursue his musical career. Ross is an English composer who moved to the United States in 2000 and has also worked on Book of Eli.

Top 3 Tracks:

In Motion

In the Hall of the Mountain King

Magnetic

Why You Should Listen To It:
If you thought the movie was good, just wait until you hear the soundtrack; it’s impossible not to love it. Especially when you’re tackling that mountain of reading you’ve got to do for class. It’s good music that passes the time and blocks out the people whispering around you in the library, without being too distracting. It’s new, refreshing, dark, mysterious, and energetic all at the same time.

The entire album is awesome, but whenever you hit the studying wall and need to get pumped up, put it over to In the Hall of the Mountain King. It’s like 5 Hour Energy in MP3 form.

Want more awesome iPod suggestions? You got it!

"WHY AREN'T THEY UP YET?!"

Your stomach has been churning since you walked out of your last exam. You know the grades are curved, but you also know that leaving the last essay blank is not going to bode well on your overall score. You talked to your friends in the class and compared answers. You’ve flipped through your notes again and again. You’ve attempted to calculate your score in your head.

And now you just have to wait.

You pack your bags to head home. Then you check your grades online. Nothing.
You take a cab to the airport. Then you check your grades from your phone. Still nothing.
You check them again as soon as you land.
And again after you kiss your mom hello and drop your laundry in the laundry room.

Still nothing.

You know that there is no way the professor is going to get the tests graded in the next few days so you attempt to forget about it. You don’t want to think about grades anymore, anyway. You’re on break, the test is over and there’s nothing you can do about it now, dammit.

And then you sit down to dinner with your parents and before you can say “Pass the ketchup,” your dad turns to you and asks, “How did finals go?”

“I don’t want to talk about it right now, OK? My stupid professor isn’t going to post the grades for 2 weeks anyway and I did my best and there’s no changing it and that last question was so absurd. No one got it. I swear he never went over that thing once. And now I probably got a C in the class and my entire GPA is ruined. Why do you always have to nag??”

Your family goes silent.
Then someone changes the topic and you move on.

After dinner you check your grades again. Then again before bed. You wake up in the morning thinking about the test. You check your grades again. Still blank.

You try to keep busy – wrapping presents, watching TV, meeting up with home friends – but you still can’t stop thinking about it. You log in again and again. And are disappointed and stressed again and again.

Finally,  during your routine wake-up-and-check-your-grades-while-you’re-still-in-bed, you see it. That little space under to “final grade” has a number in it. A number way higher than you were expecting. You pump your fists. You do a little dance. You email everyone you know in the class to see how they did (but make sure to tone down the enthusiasm in case they bombed…). You run downstairs to find your parents.

Then, for the first time in weeks, you relax. Winter break and weeks free of studying, papers and exams can now officially begin…

Not only have you not started your holiday shopping, but you haven’t started that 20-page paper that’s due in 12 hours. Welcome to finals week! It’s the most stressful time of the year, where you get to play catch up on all the reading assignments you skipped for the past 4 months while you simultaneously study for 5 exams that happen within two days.

While some colleges like to add to your stress (thank you Bridgewater State for losing power while I was on page 16 of my un-saved 27-page paper), other colleges have started looking for creative ways to help students de-stress. Tufts University, for example, has begun bringing in cute, furry, slobbery pups for students to pet and play with as a way to mellow out during their mid-finals week meltdown. Cuddling up with a poodle sounds all well and grand, but I’m just not sure that’s enough to combat the stress ulcer forming in my belly.

So what can colleges do to really curb our ulcer-inducing stress? Here are 12 de-stressers I can get behind. Ommmm.

Midnight Yoga Sesh
A university sponsored yoga class in the corner of the ‘brary? Count me in. It’s soothing while giving you a much needed workout (lord knows you haven’t had time for Spinning since reading week started). Plus, not only will you feel less stressed, but you’ll also get an energy boost to help power you through that never ending study session.

Bring in sleeping babies
Dogs shed. Sleeping babies just sooth.

Pot Brownies in the Caf
Easing finals anxiety has to count as “medicinal,” right?

Professor Dunk Tank
How amazing would it be to get the chance to dunk your professor who gave you a C- on your research proposal (you know who you are)? Nothing, and I mean nothing, feels better than watching that boring lecturer fall into a freezing tub of water.

Dance Party in the Library
Yes Please! Even if it was one song every 90 minutes, just getting up and shaking out your frustrations to “Whip My Hair” would be beneficial.

Midnight/Late Breakfast
I, for one, could go for breakfast anytime. So if it would mean giving my brain a rest to inhale some chocolate chip pancakes, I’d be all over it like syrup on my sweatpants.

Pass out Condoms
Nothing releases stress like some good, old sexy time.  You know everyone uses those study rooms for that anyway. Help a sister out so I can keep it safe while keeping myself sane.

Hourly YouTube Breaks
Laughter is hard to come by during a marathon cram session and I know after reading 200 pages of text, it’s exaclty what I need. How about setting up a screen and showing some dope YouTube clips for the whole ‘brary to enjoy? After a few LOLs, we’ll all be more relaxed and ready to focus. Plus, how funny would it be to see the librarian’s face when Scarlet takes a tumble?

Pass out bubble wrap
Apparently it’s soothing. It’s also really fun to scare the people around you.

Seat enforcement
Sometimes we need a break, right? A nice walk in outside. A quick 5 Hour Energy run. Only attempting to leave the library or study lounge causes more stress when we know some other jerk is going to swoop in and take our spot (the perfect one on the third floor next to an outlet that overlooks the second floor computers where the hottie from your math class is sitting). Perhaps library personnel can enforce the “same seats!” rule and give us one less thing to worry about when we’re trying to stop worrying about everything else.

Cancel Finals
I know that if there wasn’t a big test or a 10-page paper to worry about I would definitely be less stressed.

If all else fails, and for some reason your school doesn’t want to take our suggestions into consideration, just remember it is only one week. Once you get through that, it’s WINTER BREAK, baby!

Courtney Cox and David Arquette split. I cry.

A few signs your prof doesn’t like you.

Brett Favre: let another sports/sex scandal begin!

Could this man be our next president?!

Willy Wonka gum about to become a reality?? ZOMG!

What’s the best couple costume you’ve ever seen?

Uh, that’s enough, Aaron Carter. Ew.

Check out Lady Gaga’s acting debut.

"Dear Prof: I'm totes writing you in my undies."

Texting and chatting online has surely affected the way we communicate. If a friend doesn’t respond to a text within 10 minutes of me sending it, I immediately assume he/she has gone Amish. What did people do when there were no cellphones or AOL chat? Communicating must have been exhausting. You mean you had to wait at home to receive a phone call from your boyfriend in hopes your father wouldn’t answer?

Beyond waiting for the phone call, texting and chatting online has surely affected what we say. The term OMG wasn’t created from sending letters through the Pony Express; it was most likely created in the depths of an AOL chat room BSBLuvr who found it exceedingly difficult to express her love for ‘Shape of My Heart’ over and over again. Since then, abbreviating words (AKA ‘chatspeak’) has made communication easier for all of us. But apparently some people can’t seem to understand when this language is approp (in a drunk text to a friend) and it’s inapprop (in an email to a professor).

Yeah, it may seem totes obvi to you, but it seems that many students are taking their AIM lingo to class and their professors aren’t LOLing. In fact, they’re getting pretty pissed. And who wouldn’t when students are starting their emails off with, “Yo, teach”? (For realz.)

OMG. WTF? Didn’t college learn you better than that?

It’s time for a chatspeak intervention, people. Below is a handy little guide to help you determine what is appropriate and inappropriate when it comes to professional correspondence. Professors, thank us later….with an A.

Inappropriate: Yo, teach
Appropriate: Dear Professor __________

Inappropriate: My comp. crashed and I lost my whole pape. FML.
Appropriate: Due to technological issues, I lost the entire rough draft of my essay. Would it be possible to get an extension?

Inappropriate: OMG my alarm didn’t go off this morning Can you fwd me the notes?
Appropriate: I was unable to make it to lecture this morning; is there any way I can get the class notes so I can catch up on what I missed?

Inappropriate: I will BRB from vaca nxt wk.
Appropriate: Although I understand the importance of attending lecture, I will be out of town next week with my family. I don’t want this obstacle to hinder me in this class and I was hoping you might be able to share the lecture slides with me in advance so I can stay on top of everything while I am away.

Inappropriate: Sup homie. Wut was the homework for 2day?
Appropriate: Good Evening. I was distracted at the end of class today and somehow missed the reading assignment for Wednesday. Can you please remind me what it is so I make sure not to fall behind?

Innappropriate: Where’s your office @?
Appropriate: I’d like to set up a time to speak with you during office hours. Please let me know where and when works best for you.

Ho.ly Sh*t

Today, I was walking across campus on the way to my last class before Spring Break (CABO, HERE I COME!) and I had a HOLY SH*T moment. You know, one of those defining moments when reality slaps you hard across the face prompting you to stop dead in your tracks and scream HOLY SH*T.

Well, today reality slapped me with the inevitable fact that I am graduating from college in three months. Three short, tiny, baby-like months.

After having a minor panic attack, I started to think about what this really means to me and probably to all seniors out there. As cliché as it sounds, this really is the beginning of the end. Unless you’re sticking around for an extra semester (aka: for one more football season), college is practically over.

This is the end (or slow decline, I should say) of all things that aren’t socially acceptable outside in the real world: keg stands, aggressive day drinking, an affinity for theme parties, fast metabolisms, sleeping till noon, and – occasionally the college staple – the walk of shame (or the stride of pride, depending on how you look at it).

Partying aside, it is also the end of a wide community of people similar in age, interests, and passions. It is the end of an amazing network composed of great professors, advisors, peers, and faculty that have helped define your college experience. That have helped you grow, learn, and mature as a person over the past four years. Of course, you can still benefit from your future alma-mater by being alumni, but it’s just not the same feeling when you’re no longer an undergraduate. Just ask any alumni.

Most of us seniors have only two or three months left to partake in the unique American college experience. Despite whether you’ve had the time of your life in college or you can’t wait to get out, graduating is a big deal. A scary, exciting, nerve-racking kind of big deal. And it’s finally sinking in.

There is so much I feel like I need to do before I graduate – and even more that I want to do – and I really don’t have much time left. I haven’t even fooled around in the library stacks yet, which has been on my to-do list since freshmen year. (Ha. To-Do list. Get it?) So I took some inspiration from those hottie boys from The Buried Life and I made my very own Senior Year Bucket List. Below is a list of things I will do before I don that cap and gown. I’m going to make the most of these next 3 months and I hope to inspire other Seniors to do the same.

Get close to at least one professor. Having a mentor will open doors for you both intellectually, personally, and perhaps career wise. Professors are a great resource for recommendation letters too!

Day drink on campus with your best friends any chance you get. That’s right, it’s 1:00 in the afternoon in spring. What else do you have to do? You’re a senior and it’s most likely sunny outside. Go play.

Fool around in the library. Don’t act like this isn’t one of your fantasies. Shacking it in the stacks is as vital to my college experience as maintaining that 3.5.

Attend as many sporting events as you can. You’ll never get the chance to watch your fellow classmates and friends play sports at the college level again. Take advantage of student ticket prices while you still can.

Take a photo a day. Document your last days in college. Take pictures of everything that is your life: your room, your friends, your house, even your walk to class. Sure, you’ve made tons of memories that you’ll remember without pictures, but when you’re old, out in the real world and can no longer remember that college life, you can look back at these photos and remember how hot you were in your twenties.

Road trip somewhere, anywhere. Nothing like a good road trip for a weekend or just for a day to invigorate you and create a feeling of instant unity between friends. Turn down the windows, turn up the music and just drive.

Audition for one thing you’ve always wanted to do. Whether that is a dance group, an a capella group, a play, a musical, a teacher’s assistant position. Whatever it is – just go for it. Do something that scares you!

Buy some of your school’s apparel. Or grab all the free shirts that you can at events around campus. The love that you have your college now will only increase after you leave. Rep your school!

Do as much as you can. Always go out. Don’t stay in. This doesn’t meant you have to get crazy drunk to have fun; just go out and make the most of your college experience. See as many people as possible and soak it all in. It’s gonna be gone and over before you know it.

What’s on your list?!

As probably anyone will tell you, one of the biggest dangers to a relationship is infidelity (and maybe weekly Real Housewives marathons). We all know (or have dated) the total skeez-bag frat boy who only cared about scoring with chicks and the only person he was faithful to was the guy who sold him his Keystone Light. Obviously, that guy had red flags all over him, but what about the less obvious offenses?

I think one of the biggest problems in a relationship is that many people don’t really have the same idea of what constitutes “cheating.” So what the boy might see as just a harmless night out with his guys, the girl might freak out that her boyfriend would go to a strip club and look at another girl naked!

So what is cheating?
Is it flirting with someone else?
Hanging out alone with someone else?
Dancing with someone else?
Kissing someone else?

Cheating is different for every person and every couple, and it’s something that every couple needs to figure out for themselves. It’s all based on your personal beliefs and those of your partner and it’s something that must be discussed so everyone is on the same page.

For me and Matt, well, I’m perfectly fine with him having a glance at a beautiful woman. I’m secure enough to know that it’s just a look and nothing else, and I’m also mature enough to acknowledge the fact that there are women out there who are sexy and beautiful and, well, who wouldn’t look? Matt knows that I believe cheating is when someone in a relationship acts on feelings for someone who is not their significant other. And he agrees. So we both know that thinking “my government prof is hot” is totally fine but “my government prof is a really great kisser” is not.

And that little understanding goes a long way in terms of trust and communication in our relationship.

I know not all guys are comfortable talking about cheating, but if you two can sit down and set up boundaries, neither of you will have to worry about what will and won’t get you in trouble.

So what to you is too far for you?

The Treadmill.
Running on a treadmill is good for you, my ass. Running in place for 45 minutes is basically running yourself into the ground. 6 feet into the ground, to be exact.

Professors who lecture for the entire class without. stopping. once.
These scary germs of people only have one tone of voice, and it’s a horrible monotone that appears to only exist for the purpose of putting those who hear it into a boring coma.  These teachers just drone on and on about the importance of supply and demand or whatever, not even stopping for breath, and not realizing that half of their audience is either on Facebook or dead asleep. Or, apparently, dead.

Family functions where no one is your age.
There are only so many old people stories about your parents/grandparents/aunts/uncle/weird cousins you can take before you keel over and die.

PBS
We know that watching PBS is supposedly a very good idea, being that it is a channel for “smart people” and watching it makes you seem slightly more sophisticated.  People definitely look at you differently if you start a conversation with “Last night I saw the oddest thing on PBS” than if you start out with “Last night on Jersey Shore…”  But the sad thing about things that are supposedly that good for you?  THEY ARE EPICALLY BORING.  I can’t even imagine how many people have been killed by this one channel alone.

Talking about the weather
When people start talking about the weather, it’s official that all other subjects of conversation have run out.  “Looks like rain today” is literally one of the most boring things that anyone can add to a conversation, and that person should be arrested.

With the start of a new quarter comes the excitement of new classes and a new schedule. And new TAs. While my friends are frantically researching classes that both fill their requirements and leave Friday open, I’m zoning out at my desk dreaming (and praying) about a tall, handsome, smart, romantic, witty discussion leader.

One that I’ve never, ever had the pleasure of having.
I have, however, encountered a creepy TA that just would not go away, which seems to be more the norm than the exception. Here is my story:

I was a cute and innocent little freshman when this all went down. The grad student, let’s call him Jeff, was TA-ing for one of my history classes winter quarter. I’m a history major and have a natural love of history and hearing my own voice, so I was basically the ONLY person that ever said anything in section. But I always felt creeped out when Jeff looked at me. Especially those few times I wasn’t saying anything at all. I could see in his face that he wasn’t looking at me as the brilliant history mind that I (thought I) was; it was obvious he was thinking things a little – ew – naughtier. Being young and naive, I brushed it off and pulled an A in the class. Probably much easier than I should have.

The very next quarter – lucky me! – he was my section leader again. Awesome. The quarter went by pretty much the same as the one before it. And again, I pulled a very easy A.

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! EWWWWWWW!!”

That’s me screaming in shock and horror as I opened a Facebook email from Jeff the next fall. Yes, 3 months later. He had friend requested me and I couldn’t really say no – I mean, what if I needed a letter of recommendation in the future!? The email was short. A little hello, a little “how’s school?” and a lot of “let’s get a cup of coffee and catch up soon.” I played it off well; “I’m too busy, blah blah blah, random niceties…” I clicked send and hoped that was the end of it; I was very clearly giving this guy the brush off.

But then I would see him at the rec center (la la la, Britney on the iPod, la la la, OH SH*T, hide hide hide!!), biking on campus (riding, riding, ahhh!, swerve, look busy, don’t attract attention to yourself!), while walking into class (dive belly-down into row of seats), and pretty much everywhere in between. I did a pretty good job of dodging him – he never approached or reached out again.

Or so I thought.

Earlier this quarter Jeff emailed me again. Rather than respond nicely, I finally just blocked that creeper. Of course, the next day, as I’m trying to get in and out of the history office super fast to avoid any potential run-in, I leap into the elevator and who follows me in? JEFF!

I was stuck. I smiled at him because I thought he knew exactly who I was and it was inevitable that I was going to have to make small talk with him. But no. He said hello to me, entered the elevator, and began chatting with another woman (presumably another TA). Did he know exactly who I was? Did my new haircut and 7lb weight gain throw him off? Whatever it was, I held my breath that whole elevator ride and then RAN out of it when it got to my floor.

That was the last time I saw Jeff. For now, at least. Who knows when that creeper will show up outside my window with a boom box over his head? Luckily the whole thing is over, but the entire situation just sort of creeped me out. There’s not much for me to do in a situation like this. I guess I could complain to the department head, but Jeff didn’t technically do anything wrong. The guy was just creepy. At the same time, though, the whole TA/student relationship is a weird one. We’re not that far apart in age, meaning that it would be totally acceptable for someone like Jeff to pursue someone like me in any other situation. And equally acceptable for me to give him a very stern “Leave me alone, dude!” when I wasn’t interested. But the fact that Jeff controlled my GPA (and my future) left me without much control and got this whole thing started in the first place.

So much for my hot TA fantasy.
Maybe next semester?

So, has anyone else been put in this oh-so-awkward position?
Any happy endings to TA stories?

"Are they up yet??"

Your stomach has been churning since you walked out of your last exam. You know the grades are curved, but you also know that leaving the last essay blank is not going to bode well on your overall score. You talked to your friends in the class and compared answers. You’ve flipped through your notes again and again. You’ve attempted to calculate your score in your head.

And now you just have to wait.

You pack your bags to head home. Then you check your grades online. Nothing.
You take a cab to the airport. Then you check your grades from your phone. Still nothing.
You check them again as soon as you land.
And again after you kiss your mom hello and drop your laundry in the laundry room.

Still nothing.

You know that there is no way the professor is going to get the tests graded in the next few days so you attempt to forget about it. You don’t want to think about grades anymore, anyway. You’re on break, the test is over and there’s nothing you can do about it now, dammit.

And then you sit down to dinner with your parents and before you can say “Pass the ketchup,” your dad turns to you and asks, “How did finals go?”

“I don’t want to talk about it right now, OK? My stupid professor isn’t going to post the grades for 2 weeks anyway and I did my best and there’s no changing it and that last question was so absurd. No one got it. I swear he never went over that thing once. And now I probably got a C in the class and my entire GPA is ruined. Why do you always have to nag??”

Your family goes silent.
Then someone changes the topic and you move on.

After dinner you check your grades again. Then again before bed. You wake up in the morning thinking about the test. You check your grades again. Still blank.

You try to keep busy – wrapping presents, watching TV, meeting up with home friends – but you still can’t stop thinking about it. You log in again and again. And are disappointed and stressed again and again.

Finally,  during your routine wake-up-and-check-your-grades-while-you’re-still-in-bed, you see it. That little space under to “final grade” has a number in it. A number way higher than you were expecting. You pump your fists. You do a little dance. You email everyone you know in the class to see how they did (but make sure to tone down the enthusiasm unless they bombed…). You run downstairs to find your parents.

Then, for the first time in weeks, you relax. Winter break and weeks free of studying, papers and exams can now officially begin…