Week after week (after week after week…), CollegeCandy and our pal John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, and saddest things he hears on his college campus. And we know he’s not the only one who hears this stuff. Join the Overheard revolution! Listen in on some weirdos’ conversations and share them in the comments or send ‘em over to us to put in next week’s post.

(Two guys, at a bar.)

Guy: I have a really good pickup line.

Guy 2: Yeah?

Guy: It’s kind of specific, though. It only works if on a black female thermophysicist.

(Guy, after watching the “Avatar” trailer.)

Guy: It looks like… ‘Gears of War’ meets ‘Fern Gully.’

(Computer science Professor, in a morning class.)

Prof: But watch! When you treat it as a mergesort, it becomes an “log n” algorithm instead of a “n log n” algorithm! F**k yeah! Read More »

It’s October now, which means that there’s basically only one thing to talk about for the next 29 days: Halloween. (I had a conversation with a friend yesterday in which he revealed to me that he plans to dress up as a sexy Ghostbuster on the big night. That’s right—he.)

But All Hallow’s Eve isn’t just about costumes and candy—there’s been a lot of seriously scary stuff happening this week. And yes, technically it was the last week of September and only the first few days of October… but just go with my metaphor. Among the frightening things we’ve written about in the past seven days:

- Spencer and Heidi are buying a house together, probably so that they’ll have a place to raise a litter of devil-spawn with flesh-colored beards and fake boobs.

- Speaking of fake boobs, girls from “Rock of Love Bus” make $1,500 just for showing up at parties.

- The length of the school year might get extended. I’m shuddering just thinking about it.

- In my three-plus years of college, I’ve probably had every single one of these awful professors.

- The scary smart kids at Caltech and MIT, who might accidentally kill us all with a wacky prank gone wrong…

- … unless they all get Type Geek Diabetes first.

- Tufts outlawing having sex while your roommate’s in your room, which isn’t scary in itself but will lead to some seriously horrifying conversations between Tufts students and their parents.

- Guys who do nothing but eat chicken nuggets while watching football, playing poker, and quoting “Old School.”

- Going through the nail-biting experience of wondering if he, like, likes you likes you.

- Everything about this post, which makes me want to vomit in terror.

- And most frightening of all: you only have three more days to win a laptop from CC!

As college students, we are constantly inundated with new knowledge. It can be useful, thought-provoking, or crammed into our head on a Starbucks-fueled binge several hours before an exam. However, very rarely do we question the validity of all this new knowledge (unless you take philosophy classes, then you’ll question away).

That’s where College Candy comes in. We’re not going to debate whether or not the Theory of Relativity actually exists (a disappointment, I know, but I’m a communications major and stopped taking science classes after Baby Bio fresh year). However, we are here to thoroughly investigate the most widespread college knowledge (no, not rhyming)—the myth.

We’ve all been there. It’s 9:04 am on a chilly Wednesday. We’re regretting our decision to pass on Starbucks (and especially regretting the decision to have a “practice” beer pong tournament with the roomies last night). We’re drumming our fingers on our desks, thinking of our still warm beds, wondering if our professor is going to show (and praying that she doesn’t).

Ok, now it’s 9:05, only 15 more minutes (10 if we’re waiting for a T.A.). If Dr. So-and-So still hasn’t shown, we are free and clear to peace out and crawl right back into bed. It’s the golden rule of classes- if your prof is x-amount of minutes late, class is automatically canceled, and the students who waited so—ahem—patiently, will suffer no penalty. Read More »

Every week, CC and John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, and saddest things he hears on his college campus. And we know he’s not the only one who hears this stuff. Join the Overheard revolution! Leave your own overheard convos in the comments or send ‘em over!

(Girl, raising hand in class.)

Girl: Wait, so … some languages don’t have vowels? That’s IMPOSSIBLE! How are you supposed to pronounce them? Do you have to guess? I can’t believe that! That’s so stupid! *scribbles furiously in notebook*

(Professor, teaching a class.)

Prof: Heaven is hard to describe. I’ve seen plenty of evocative depictions of Hell, but I’ve never seen a truly compelling vision of Heaven.

Student, interrupting: May I suggest one?

Prof: No. I want to talk about something else.

(Two guys, getting into their car.)

Guy: You ever notice that every time we go to make candles, one of us cheats on his girlfriend? Read More »

"I miss Welcome Week." Sigh.

Lately it seems like Facebook is on a mission (aided by the company that sells prozac) to make me feel suicidal every time I sign on. For weeks all the status updates and albums were “lovin’ summer” and “will it ever stop raining this summer?” I could easily relate to those as I was also experiencing summer and the torrential rain showers of ‘09.

However, now I sign on and I have to see this:

Jessie can’t wait for classes to start up!
Shar regrets that first night back jungle juice!
Alissa accidentally packed her keys into the trunk but it won’t stop her from getting to school!

And all these statues and declarations of school spirit are forcing me to realize that I’m officially not going back to school…although my diploma has yet to come, so that’s actually still questionable. For the first time in my entire life (I started school mere months after birth) I’m not buying fresh new school supplies and I’m not sitting in classes trying to read the professor’s mind and decide if she is really going to give pop reading quizzes. I don’t even know what to do with my hands if they’re not flipping through syllabi. Read More »

[Every week, CC and John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, saddest things he hears on his college campus. Join the Overheard revolution!Leave your own overheard convos in the comments or send ‘em over!]

(A crazy guy on campus trying to sell joke books.)

Crazy guy: Does college make you want to sh*t your pants?

Scared freshman: Um … no?

(A professor, reminiscing in-class.)

Professor: I just, you know, kinda grab nearby papers sometimes. I have many squirrel-like tendencies. That’s what my mom said.

(Girl, angry, on the phone.)

Girl: … because you’ve got the personality of a tennis ball! A tennis ball with acne! Read More »

Now that I’m halfway done with my college career (a pretty cushy place to be, considering I have two more years before the real world), I anticipate all the bright eyed and bushy tailed freshmen about to invade the dorms and use fake-id’s at all my favorite bars. Putting myself in their shoes, I wish that someone had been there to give me advice for my college career (all I got was my Mom telling me not to hook up with any fraternity boys until Spring semester). So I dove in head first and learned a few lessons of my own.

I learned the value of my dry erase board to my social life, I learned that “attendance optional” classes are not always a good thing. I learned that I should always have an assortment of costumes readily available, and that sharing drinks with my friends meant sharing drinks with whoever they made out with (and whoever they made out with…) All of these were very important lessons, and I’d like to share some of the pearls of wisdom I gained my freshman year. Read More »

[Every week, CC and John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, saddest things he hears on his college campus. Join the Overheard revolution!Leave your own overheard convos in the comments or send ‘em over!]

“Everyone can relate to getting peed on.”

“Yeah, I get peed on all the time.”

“That’s because you pay people to do it.”

“You can’t build a skyscraper on cheese.”

“Are you going to see your puppy this weekend?”

“Yeah.”

“What’s his name?”

“Toby.”

“No it’s not.”

“I’m just swinging this bat. Standing here, swinging this bat. If someone else walks in the way, it’s not my fault. It’s not the bat’s fault. It’s the physics.” Read More »

So now I’m a second-semester freshman and I am finally getting the hang of what college is all about. And there are two myths that I was told over and over again were not true when I first got here, but I only now agree. I wish I had believed my older friends when they promised me these parts of college were just a stereotype. Instead I shied away from people my first semester, assuming college just couldn’t be so perfect.

First, upperclassmen are not nearly as scary as they seem. Despite the equal age gap between a freshman and senior in high school versus college, the latter feels much smaller. Last semester, I kept far away from anyone who didn’t fit the “oh-my-gosh-I-am-new-so-let’s-hang-out” stereotype. It was comforting to be with people in my same position. I loved my classes with only freshmen. Strength in numbers. Read More »

Students spend so much time visiting colleges across the nation trying to find the place that best fits them. Even after the decision is made, the deposit is paid, and the room is festooned with posters after moving in at the beginning of freshman year, a mistake can still be made.

I made a mistake with where I chose to attend college. I take full accountability in admitting that I should not be where I am today, but here I am in my pink palace of a dorm room, hoping that some cosmic force stronger than my own folly has kept me here. Although my series usually focuses on the negative experiences at my university, in hopes to help others from making the same mistake as me (which actually doesn’t mean anyone should change their mind about coming to Hollins, it means anything that has happened to me here can happen at any college across the globe), I have decided in lieu of Valentine’s Day, I would share what I love about my college experience in the last two and a half years.

Academics: This is what college is all about, and in my opinion, it is learning what you want to learn (which is something I have experienced here more than not). When looking at other colleges across the nation to transfer to, I couldn’t find courses that enthralled me the way the course catalogue on my shelf does. Just like any college, I have taken a few dud classes (some have been general requirements, but that is expected), but for the most part, I have nothing to say besides exceptional reviews of all my classes. And what more can I ask for since I am here to get my degree? Anyone who is looking to transfer from their college seriously needs to consider the transition of academic life from school to school, because, at the end of the day, you are here (and you are paying mucho bucks!) to discover what is out there in the word of academia. Read More »