"This worries me...."

Well, it took an entire season but after going home with the top 3 designers – Meana Irina, Giggles Hannah and Hometown Althea –  I think I’m finally invested in Project Runway. Though that might have nothing to do with what the girls are actually working on and more to do with watching Tim Gunn first in a flowery apron and then trying to work that old elevator in Althea’s building. Seriously, seeing the fear in his eyes as he stepped into that death-trap really made all the time I invested in this season worth it.

I mean, really, who says, “Gads!”?

Those Lifetime people really shoveled a lot of sh*t into last night’s one-hour episode. First Tim goes home to check in on the contestants, then the contestants come to New York, then they get feedback from Tim AND Nina AND Michael AND Heidi, then they do a model casting, then they get assigned a 13^th look and then Carol Hannah gets stuck with Christopher. Oh, and she’s barfy.

Whew. I get tired just thinking about it all. But I’m also super excited by everyone’s collections – yes, even Irina. But that might only be because I think her dog is super cute and I’m like a puddle of goo in the face of a little white fluff ball. Although I do think her whole t-shirt-under-something-chic idea rocks (even if I did do a fist-pump of joy when Tim made her re-do them all). What can I say? The girl’s got just as much talent as ‘tude. And that’s a lot.

Althea’s collection is a little different than I expected of her (did anyone expect her to go home and watch a lot of Sci-fi??), but I still sorta dig it. And I don’t care what Tim thinks about that sequined jacket-y thing; Althea made that a year ago and sequins are all the rage now. Either she can see into the future or homegirl is a fashion genius. Read More »

Is bitchiness contagious, cuz Jordana definitely caught it.

So it’s finally time for Fashion Week. Fashion Week that happened a year ago, but a big moment for those designers who made it through, nonetheless. It’s been a long journey. 12 challenges and ots of lost talent along the way (we’re talking mostly to you, Ra’Mon!). But after last night’s episode, I can honestly say that those judges finally did some good…er…judging.

So let’s give a big thanks to Cindy Crawford. You go, girl. And, DAMN, you look good.

Last night’s challenge was to find some inspiration at L.A.’s Getty Center. I’m not quite sure what that place was or what the purpose of it is, but the mayor was quite proud of it so I went along for the ride. Each designer could choose anything in there to inspire a look and then go to it.

I’m not sure what happened along the way, but it seems that Christopher must have taken a wrong turn somewhere and ended up at a David’s Bridal booth at the Renaissance Fair. The “dress” he put together was heavy, ugly and pretty infuriating if you ask me. And you’re reading this post, so you definitely asked. Read More »

The Final 4. Plus two dudes who are lucky to be there.

That’s it. I am d-u-n-z-o with Project Runway. DUNZO! I love me some Heidi Klum and I think Althea is fantastic, but I refuse to support a show that I just can’t connect to anymore. If you haven’t watched this week’s episode (and you still care what is happening in this snoozefest they call Season Six) I would stop reading now. Cuz I’m about to get angry.

Ok, it’s pretty obvious that the girls are running the show this season. The judges got rid of the only guy with talent (Ra’Mon) a long time ago and it’s pretty much been a battle of the ugly for the dudes since then. Everyone knows Althea and (Meana) Irina will be showing a final collection sometime soon.  And the third spot will most likely be goin’ to Carol Hannah (and her annoying nervous laugh).

But the guys. Oy. Let’s break it all down for ya: Read More »

Much like my relationship with pie (love the pie…hate the 3 hours I spend in the gym after eating it), I am experiencing a bit of a love/hate with Irina. On the one hand, she’s a Jew (and a proud one, flaunting it in all its blingin’ glory) and we Jews gotta stick together. If we don’t support our own people, who will?

And homegirl sure knows how to make a faux fur vest. That thing was gorgeous. Although I might be biased considering it was a blustery 38 degrees and rainy when I got home last night. But, still, I wanted to make Irina my new BFF and cozy up inside that vest until April. Or, in the Midwest, July.

But, and there’s always a but, Irina is a big, fat bitch. She’s arrogant, she’s mean, she’s judgmental….and just like 40% of the girls in my high school. The girls I gave the finger to as I pulled out of the parking lot that last day and swore never to see again. The girls who pretend to be confident only to cover up some raging insecurity. Perhaps Irina hates the annoying way she talks? Or she was on the flag team in high school and never got over it?

I don’t know, but she’s a cold-hearted snake.

Although, I guess you can’t totally fault this girl for the things she says. She’s kinda like Kanye (minus the whole Hennessey thing); she is simply saying what everyone else is thinking. And maybe if she was a bit wittier in her insults (a la Michael Kors) we wouldn’t care who she was talking smack about.

And we all know there is plenty of smack to be talked with some of these designers. Read More »

Balloon boy’s parents are effed.

Take that 2008 wardrobe and make it 2009.

Octomom’s got her eyes on Jon Gosselin?!

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Project Runway fails on Lifetime.

Check out Lady Gaga’s latest.

I have to admit – it’s becoming somewhat painful to watch Project Runway this season and find things to write about. Unlike seasons past where designers say and do funny things beyond whipping up runway looks, all things more than worthy of writing about, this season is a whole lot of blah. And it’s impossible to write about blah.

Perhaps that’s why the producers decided to bring in Bob Mackie and Christina Aguilera last night. Maybe a little sequins would liven things up a bit?

Too bad it didn’t work. I mean, absolutely nothing about this challenge worked. The designers were instructed to take some inspiration from Mr. Mackie and go all out on a stage design for Christina Aguilera. CHRISTINA FREAKING AGUILERA. A woman known for her strong voice and her awesomely choreographed shows.

Not a woman known for living in a cave and tearing meat from dead animal carcasses with her teeth, Logan.

And not a woman who is currently retired and heading to the Assisted Living Annual Ball, Jordana.

I’d like to think that in a subconscious homage to their good friend Epperson, the designers misunderstood Tim Gunn’s assignment. Maybe they were struck dumb by all of Bob Mackie’s brilliance and instead of hearing “Christina” they heard “Junior Prom in the Midwest”? All that sparkle. All that glitz. Seriously, I walked away for a minute to grab a snack during the show and missed the part where the designers got their assignment. When I came back in and saw what everyone was picking up at Mood, I thought this was a crossover event with TLC’s Toddlers in Tiaras.

It was just bad. Almost as bad as Irina’s bitchy attitude. Almost. That girl is one big biznatch. And that ice skating costume she made? Hurl. Read More »

After the judges decided to boot Ra’mon (the most talented designer on the show) last week, I really wanted to boycott Project Runway. There is so much other great TV on Thursday nights (Ace of Cakes, The Office, Community) that I didn’t feel the need to watch the same show that had turned its back on me the week before.

Also, I was invited out to the bar for some tasty drink specials. Clearly $1 beers would trump anything, even if Ra’Mon was still around.

So I went out for some drinks…and then came home to see what shenanigans the Project Runway designers would get involved in this week. And let me say – watching the show buzzed is truly the only way to go. I was wearing beer goggles and everything was just so much better!

The challenge was to design a look for I.N.C., a Macy’s brand. The designs had to be in blue and the designers had to work in teams.

As usual, the designers had to send their models to the Garnier hair studio and the L’Oreal Paris makeup room, and to use accessories from the Macy’s accessory wall which had been stocked with I.N.C. shoes.

I don’t know about you, but it seems like maybe these companies are paying to have their brands on the show. Could it be??

Anyways, the designers worked and sewed and bitched about their teammates. Epperson and Chris had a designer love affair in the back (which clearly blinded them to what the h-e-double hockey sticks they were doing), Nikolas whined about ruffles in the front, and Irena talked. A lot. Homegirl might be a good designer, but her voice is like nails on a mother effing chalkboard. She just needs to stop. Read More »

So, yesterday was a bad day. A very bad day.

My dog was put to sleep.

I had a feeling the time was coming – my little Bichon was 15 years old – but hearing my mother tell me that my childhood pet was gone was shockingly painful. And unfortunately for me, none of the hundreds of people that I saw as I walked from the library to my apartment could hear what was happening on the other side of the call…and only saw me sobbing/wiping snot from my face with the palm of my hand.

When I finally did make it home, I was numb. People were calling to check in on me, offering to take me out. I really wanted nothing more than to sit on my couch and cry into a box of tissues, but then I realized I only had paper towel and after a few rounds of sobs into that sand paper, I realized I needed to get out of the house. I needed to distract myself and the only thing that could do that was TV. Reality TV. Project Runway.

So, I met up with a friend for martinis and some quality PRW. I knew that Tim Gunn, Heidi Klum and Epperson could cheer me up, or at least keep my (now hazy, thank you martini!) mind off of things.

Yeah right. Fast forward 53 minutes to judgment time and I’m sobbing once again.

Last night’s challenge was to design a costume for a Hollywood film. (And, obviously, that weird L’Oreal Paris guy was there to pimp his makeup.) The designers had to choose from a few different film genres and create a character, a story and a look within that genre. Tim pulled names out of that little velour (of course he’d have velour!) bag of his, which decided what order designers could pick their genre.

One by one the genres were nabbed up. Last to be picked: Western. It was like the fat kid on the kickball team at recess. (Read: me.) Poor Western, no one wanted it. But it got its vindication later when both Shirin and Epperson created some kickass costumes. Read More »

Every week I count backwards from ten. I know, I’m kind of a big deal. Usually these countdowns have a theme like which phrases really grind my gears (“grind my gears” should be mentioned) or how I’m still effing sober, despite the fact that I could really go for a dirty martini right now.

I know it’s early, stop judging.

This week, in light of the ever-riveting Emmys, I’ve decided to countdown the ten primetime ladies that I wish I could be in real life. Most of them are from currently aired shows, but of course I had to let some of my canceled favorites slip by.

10. Cuddy – House
Who wouldn’t love to work with the ever lovable Dr. House? Cuddy is a complete non-pushover HBIC (look it up) who always looks fierce. And her hair is never out of place! Unlike that awful Cameron. Barf.

9. Lucille Bluth – Arrested Development
Why did this show get canceled? Why? I hope one day to be Lucille when I’m a “Gangy,” dirty martini in hand and Chanel skirt suits never out of place. Hopefully I’ll be slightly less mentally damaging to my family, though. Slightly.

8. Heidi Klum – Project Runway
The only non-fictional character on the list. This one’s a no brainer. Except I’m not sure how I’d go home to Seal every night.

7. Pam – The Office
I’m not a huge Pam fan. In fact, I was totally Team Karen while she was on the show. But, she has Jim Halpert (John Krasinski) and that’s all I need. Read More »

I have a confession to make: I was more excited about my California Pizza Kitchen leftovers last night than I was about Project Runway. Now, I’m sure most of you are thinking to yourself, “Obvi. CPK is the bomb.com, so who wouldn’t be super excited about those?” And I agree – it was the roasted eggplant pizza, which is just phenom – but I still think I should have been more excited about my favorite TV show.

Well, my former favorite TV show.

I am trying so hard to get excited about this season of PRW, but I just….can’t. Yes, some of the designers (Althea, Ra’Mon) are talented, but they are all just so blah. I mean, let’s get real, the most exciting person on the show (or the most exciting to watch, rather) is Johnny, the former meth-head-turned-pathological-liar who somehow snuck onto the show with a box of needles and zero talent.

Where is the drama? Where are the funny people? Why do I insist on sitting through an hour of this show every week, bored to tears and dreaming about my pizza that’s sitting in the fridge? And how am I supposed to get excited about a bunch of boring people making dresses out of the L.A. Times?

Anyone who is anyone knows that the L.A. Times is good for one thing and one thing only: the crossword puzzle. Was this a PR opportunity for a dying business? Some ploy by the L.A. Times to report higher sales to their advertisers since the designers each took 300 papers?  And how do you think Al Gore felt about this obvious waste of precious materials?! Read More »