Spring break can be a carefree week of fun in the sun…or two days of fun followed by five days of waiting for your flight home. Make sure you make the most of SB 2009. And don’t do some of the stupid shizz I’ve done on March and April vacations past.

1. Don’t book your flight for an hour after your last class of the week ends.

Well, technically, my mistake was agreeing to drive my friend to the airport. Not only were we racing against time, but my car decided to act up as soon as we hit the highway. It started shaking and rattling when I tried to go over 60 mph, and, for fear of our lives, I was forced to drive in the slow lane as the clock ticked on. We made it, barely, thanks to the fact that our local airport takes about five minutes to clear security, but my friend was a bundle of nerves before she even took flight. Yeesh. Read More »

In a dark, moderately dirtball Irish pub with adorable bartenders straight from Ireland, I am approached by a liquor promoter. He’s pretty good-looking, obviously a flirt because who else takes a job as a promoter, and so begins his attempt as he hands me a keychain:”Who do you get? Who do people always say you look like?”

I reply the truth, no one, because no one even thinks I look like myself after changing the hair. But the promoter has an opinion,

“Okay, so, you definitely don’t have some features she has, which is a good thing, but—”

Is he serious? I am intrigued by the obvious trap he is setting for himself. Why is it that dumb must always accompany pretty?

“—did you watch Blossom? I swear, you’re a post nose-job Blossom…. No, it’s a good thing!”

Was it really? I spent the rest of the evening staring at my nose in the mirror behind the bar and glaring at the promoter, who at the end of the evening thought he had a shot at seeing me at his ‘gig’ next weekend. Read More »